by Chris Colfer
He burst into his room and locked the door behind him. He immediately searched through Betsy until he found his piece of mirror. He impatiently tapped the glass and anxiously waited for it to connect him to his sister. Conner prayed Alex would be available. Unfortunately the only reflection he saw in the mirror was his own.
“Come on, Alex!” Conner said. “You’ve got to answer! Trust me, nothing is more important than this right now!”
He tapped the mirror again and again, trying to reach his sister, with no luck. He spent the rest of the day trying—and still, no result. They were the most frustrating hours of his life. In the evening Conner heard a knock on his door. Mrs. Peters had come to check on him. She and the girls had returned from their bike tour of Tiergarten Park.
“How are you feeling, Mr. Bailey? Any better?” she asked at the door.
“I’m all right, just really nauseated,” Conner told her. “I think I caught a bug at the cemetery.”
“Do I need to call for a doctor?” she asked.
“No, I think I’ll feel better in the morning,” Conner said. “I should be fine as long as I get some sleep.”
“I certainly hope so,” Mrs. Peters said. “I would hate for you to waste your whole trip locked in your hotel room.”
She left him alone to rest, but rest was the last thing Conner got that night. After trying to reach his sister for a couple more hours, he couldn’t stand being in the hotel room any longer. He couldn’t sit around while he knew something very wrong was going on somewhere.
Conner decided to go back to the cemetery, for clarity if not for answers. He grabbed his coat and quietly left his room. He took the stairs again, trying to avoid as many people as possible. He snagged a map from the pamphlet rack in the hotel lobby and followed it all the way back to the cemetery. It took him an hour to walk there in the dark, and to make matters worse it also started to rain.
When he reached St. Matthäus-Kirchhof cemetery all the posters had been taken off the gate and all the guests were gone. It was so much more peaceful now that it was empty. He retraced his steps to the modest graves of the Brothers Grimm. The ground around the graves was littered with flowers and gifts from the attendees of the readings earlier that day.
Conner squinted at the graves as if he were looking not at two big blocks of stone but rather two very silent people.
“So that was some story,” he said to the graves. “Was there anything else you failed to mention? Were there any clues you forgot to include?”
The rain increased with Conner’s frustration. He was actually upset that the graves weren’t responding.
“What army is approaching the fairy-tale world? Where did it come from? Are my grandmother and my sister in danger? Please, I need to know,” Conner said, this time asking the rainy sky above him.
Unfortunately, there was no sign for Conner to witness. He had to rely solely on what his gut was telling him. Conner knew he had been meant to be in the cemetery earlier that day, he had been meant to hear and correctly interpret the story, and now he was meant to warn the fairy-tale world of the approaching danger.
He just didn’t know how.
CHAPTER SIX
QUEEN RED’S HOUSE OF PROGRESS
The Fairy Inaugural Ball was just a day away but it was only one of the major things occupying Alex’s mind. As soon as she’d agreed to go on a walk with Rook, she found herself juggling two fixations at the same time. One minute she was obsessing about what to wear and how to behave at the ball, and the next she was daydreaming about how wonderful or tragic her walk might be. It was an exhausting and constant balancing act between the two worries.
On the one hand she was thankful to have two subjects on her mind, as each distracted her from the other; on the other hand Alex would have given anything just to clear her mind for a moment or two. Alex thought the best way to deal with the stress of the two pending events would be to get away from reminders of both, so she happily took Red’s offer to meet the morning after Jack and Goldilocks’s wedding.
It was a bright sunny morning when Alex and Cornelius journeyed into the Red Riding Hood Kingdom. They traveled northwest, around the Troll and Goblin Territory—or Troblin Territory as it was now called—and soon the tiny kingdom came into view.
A high wall was being constructed around the kingdom. Dozens and dozens of stonemasons worked tirelessly on it, building it up brick by brick. From the looks of it, the new wall would be exactly like the old one, which the Enchantress had eliminated.
Alex and Cornelius had no trouble at all crossing into the kingdom. Many of the guards at the south gate even bowed to Alex, recognizing her as an acquaintance of the queen. Cornelius regally trotted through the rural hills of Bo Peep Family Farms, showing off for all the livestock they passed, and went to the town in the center of the kingdom, where Queen Red’s castle stood.
The town was as delightful as when Alex saw it for the first time with her brother. It was a friendly and picturesque village with many shops, barns, houses, and landmarks. A baker stood outside his shop sharing trays of free samples with the townspeople moving past. A locksmith had a table set up outside his store and demonstrated how he made keys to a crowd of onlookers. Farmers pulled their stubborn animals and children through the streets as they went about their day.
The Red Riding Hood Kingdom had recovered handsomely from the turmoil the Enchantress had caused.
“Excuse me? Do you know where the House of Progress is?” Alex asked a shepherd passing by.
“It’s across from the castle at the other end of the park,” the shepherd told her.
“Thank you,” Alex said, and followed his directions. She had been to the castle many times and it was easy for her to steer Cornelius there.
The House of Progress looked just like a miniature version of the US Capitol, except it had been painted red and the dome had been replaced with the world’s largest square basket.
“That is so Red Riding Hood,” Alex said, and shook her head. Even Cornelius moved his head back and forth at the ridiculous sight.
They traveled through the park and Alex left Cornelius at the foot of the building’s wide front steps. Statues of Queen Red posing heroically in her favorite outfits lined the steps all the way up to the doorway. Alex couldn’t believe this was the woman she had come all this way to get advice from, but at least the journey had gotten her out of the Fairy Kingdom.
The House of Progress’s entrance hall was decorated with dozens of paintings of the young queen. Alex was used to Red’s narcissistic decorating by now and it didn’t faze her, but there were two incredibly large paintings on the walls that made her laugh. One was of Red regally speaking to her people just before setting sail on the enormous flying ship the Granny. The other was a painting depicting the moment when Red refused to surrender her kingdom to the Enchantress.
Alex had been around for both of those moments and didn’t remember either one as dramatic as the paintings suggested, but she thought they were amusing nonetheless. In the very center of the entrance hall was another statue of Red, but of epic proportions: Queen Red sitting on her throne, looking exactly like the Lincoln Memorial.
“I’ve got to stop showing Red pictures of the Otherworld,” Alex said under her breath.
A line of waiting townspeople started in the entrance hall, curved around the giant statue, and ended just before the open doorway to the next room. Alex followed the line and found herself stepping into a large circular room directly under the building’s gigantic basket.
“ALEX, LOOK OUT!” Red shouted from the back of the room.
The next thing Alex knew, she was being tackled to the ground by an enormous black wolf. Her wand was knocked out of her hand and it rolled away from her. The wolf pressed his massive paws against her chest near her throat. He opened his large snout and Alex could see all the sharp teeth inside his mouth. She closed her eyes as tight as possible, knowing what was coming next.
Alex felt the wolf’s w
ide wet tongue lick her face over and over again—he was so excited to see her.
“Hello, Clawdius,” Alex grunted under him. “It’s nice to see you again.”
“No, Clawdius! What did I say about tackling guests?” Red yelled.
A handful of Red’s guards who had been standing along the edge of the room tried to remove the wolf from the young fairy but he growled viciously at them and they quickly backed away.
“Clawdius! Get off the heir of magic right now!” Red demanded.
Clawdius immediately jumped off Alex. Clearly Red was the only one who could control him. Alex got to her feet and Clawdius put his overgrown head in her hand so she would pet him.
“Look how big you’ve gotten, Clawdius!” Alex said as she scratched under his chin. “You get bigger every time I see you.”
Clawdius retrieved Alex’s wand, but when she went to take it from his mouth he pulled away—he wanted to play.
“Oh no, Clawdius,” Alex said in a panic. “That’s not something we can play with!”
“Clawdius, drop the nice fairy’s wand right now!” Red ordered, but the wolf ignored her. “I said, drop it! Don’t make me shake the can full of coins!”
Clawdius sat down and set the wand gently on the floor in front of Alex. Even when seated he was almost as tall as she was. Alex collected her wand and headed to the back of the room where Red sat.
Red was perched on a raised throne and dressed to the nines in a red ball gown and a tiara; she was drenched in diamonds. To her right were two rows of raised seats where nine people and animals alike sat, although the seats weren’t raised as high as hers, of course. Alex assumed these must be the representatives Red had been talking about yesterday.
Alex immediately recognized the three sitting closest to Red as Red’s granny; the Little Old Woman who ran the Shoe Inn; and the third Little Pig. There were also three blindfolded white mice who shared one seat, a bushy-haired black sheep; a nervous and jumpy young woman; and an obese man who wore a guilty expression as he ate a pie.
“Everyone, this is my good friend Alex,” Red said. “Alex, let me introduce you to my House of Progress representatives: the Honorable Three Blind Mice, Sir BaaBaa Blacksheep, Lady Muffet, and Sir Jack Horner. And of course you know Granny, the Old Woman from the Shoe Inn, and the third Little Pig.”
They all greeted her with warm welcomes, except the Old Woman, who was infamously hard of hearing.
“Who’s complex?” the Old Woman asked.
“Not complex—Alex,” Granny said directly into her friend’s ear. “She’s one of Red’s friends.”
“Wonderful to meet you all,” Alex said. “I hope I’m not interrupting anything.”
“Not at all,” Red said. “We’re just waiting for Charlie to arrive before we begin our weekly open-house meeting. I’m sure you saw all the townspeople lined up—they love coming to the House of Progress and voicing their concerns. I’ve become very good at figuring out ways to help the people; it’s like a little game.”
Just then they heard footsteps and saw Froggy entering the room carrying a large stack of papers. “Good afternoon, everyone,” he kindly greeted the representatives. “And hello, Alex! I wasn’t expecting to see you—huuuh!”
Clawdius tackled Froggy as soon as he came into the room. This was just how the wolf seemed to greet people. All of Froggy’s papers flew into the air.
“Clawdius, I just saw you not twenty minutes ago—you have to stop this madness,” Froggy grunted, pushing the wolf off him. “We need to start chaining him down!”
“I tried that but he ate through the chain.” Red shrugged. “Clawdius, come here, boy! Come to Mommy!”
Clawdius ran to Red’s side and happily plopped his big head in her lap. Froggy collected his papers but they were all disorganized now.
“Come sit by me, Alex,” Red said, and patted the armrest of her throne. “We have so much to talk about!”
“Are you sure it’s all right to visit during the open-house meeting?” Alex asked, taking a seat.
“Oh, it’s more than fine,” Red assured her. “Charlie leads the meetings while I supervise. They’ll get my attention if they need me.”
Froggy took his place at the front of the room and the meeting began. “Forgive me but the open-house forms you filled out prior to arriving are a little jumbled,” he apologized to the townspeople. “So when it’s your turn I’ll need you to step forward and state your name and the nature of the pressing matter that you’d like us to deal with.”
One by one, the townspeople stepped forward and told Froggy and the representatives about their dilemmas. Froggy and the representatives talked about the matter among themselves and then presented the villager with the best solution possible. It was a very nice process for Alex to witness; Froggy and the representatives genuinely seemed passionate about helping the townspeople.
“Wonderful, everything is going just splendidly,” Red said, and then allowed Alex to become her sole focus. “Let’s talk about your date this evening—have you picked out an outfit to wear? If not, I have a little pink dress somewhere in one of my closets that would look divine on you.”
“I was thinking I would just wear this,” Alex said, and gestured to the sparkling dress she wore every day. “I think he’d appreciate it if I just dressed as myself.”
“Be careful of that,” Red warned her. “Some of the best advice Granny ever gave me was never to be myself when meeting someone for the first time—you don’t want to scare them away.”
Alex thought about this for a moment. She was pretty sure Granny had meant that as advice for Red personally, not in general.
“He’s a farmer’s son,” Alex said. “I’m afraid doing or saying anything over-the-top may scare him away just as easily. I’d rather he feels comfortable with me than intimidated by me.”
“That may be, but you shouldn’t make him feel too good about himself on the first date,” Red instructed. “Men must always think they’re inferior to you, otherwise they don’t leave you any room to train them.”
Froggy interrupted their conversation momentarily. “Darling, this man is from the south part of town,” he said about the townsman standing in the middle of the room. “Apparently the south path has become so bumpy it’s ruining all the carts that travel on it. They need a new path to be paved.”
“Great, then pave a new one,” Red said with a big smile.
“Unfortunately, they don’t have the funds for it and the kingdom’s pockets will be shallow until the new wall is built,” Froggy explained. “What should the representatives and I suggest?”
Red knew just the thing. She took the diamond bracelet off her left wrist and tossed it to the man from the South Village. “Here, sell this and use the money to pave a new path; it should be more than enough.”
The man was stunned the queen would give him something so valuable. Tears came to his eyes. “Thank you, Your Majesty! Thank you so kindly!” he said on his way out the door.
“You’re very welcome!” Red said, then turned quickly back to Alex. “So where are you and Rook going on a walk to?”
“I’m not sure,” Alex said. “I was just planning on following him.”
Red shook her head. “Whatever you do, do not let him lead the walk,” she said. “Men are natural-born leaders and it’s our job as women to rid them of that animalistic trait. If you let him lead the first walk, soon he’ll be leading the whole relationship.”
“So is it a good sign if he wants me to lead the walk?” Alex asked.
“No, that’s even worse!” Red said. “That means he’s got no confidence and expects you to do all the work and hold his hand the rest of his life. You’re way too young for that, Alex.”
Alex scrunched her forehead. Red was only making matters more confusing for her. “Do you really believe this advice, Red?” she asked.
“Oh, none of this stuff pertains to me,” Red said. “I’m just looking out for you.”
“Darling
,” Froggy interrupted again. “This woman is from the east part of town. She’s a baker whose husband died a few years ago. She makes a decent living, but not enough to take care of her four children on her own.”
Tears were streaming down the poor baker’s face. She was clearly ashamed to be standing before them asking for help.
“There, there,” Red said sympathetically. “There is no reason to cry! We all need a helping hand every now and then—especially me. I’m useless without my staff.”
The queen scanned the dozen or so remaining townspeople in the line. She saw a frail and sad-looking man holding a pitchfork in the very back. “Excuse me, sir, are you a farmer?” she asked him.
The man was shocked his queen was speaking to him directly. “Yes, Your Majesty,” he said with a quick bow.
“Let me guess, you’re here because you can no longer afford to feed your family, am I correct?” Red asked.
“Why, yes, Your Majesty,” he said, amazed she could tell so easily.
“Oh wonderful,” Red said happily. Everyone in the room gave her a strange look. “Oh, I didn’t mean that was wonderful, I meant it’s wonderful that you’re a farmer because I believe you and this baker can help each other out. Do you have cows on your farm?”
The farmer nodded. “Yes, I have six cows,” he said.
“Terrific.” Red then looked back to the baker. “I assume a financial burden for you is the cost of milk? Am I right?”
“Yes, Your Majesty,” the tearful baker admitted.
“Then that’s solved,” Red said with a gleeful clap. “The farmer will supply the baker with as much milk as she needs and in return she will provide food for his family. Does that work for everyone?”
The farmer and the baker looked at each other and smiled; Queen Red had given them both a solution. Froggy and Alex exchanged a smile of their own—Red may have been clueless most of the time but when she was good she was good.