by Chris Colfer
“Good morning,” the general said to the prisoners above. “I am General Marquis of the Grande Armée of the French Empire. I am certain many of you have never heard of the empire and its army before, so I would like to change that now. Where we come from, we are known as one of the greatest military forces in history. We have dominated every territory in our path and have defeated every nation that stood in our way. And now we have come to your world to claim it as our own.”
The prisoners grew uncomfortable in his presence. The general didn’t need to say anything further to convince them that he was a cunning and powerful man; they could sense it.
“Where we come from, we have a phrase,” the general continued. “The enemy of my enemy is my friend, we say. Today I would like to give each of you a chance to make friends with the Grande Armée. We offer you a chance to join our conquest and be cleared of your crimes. Help us fight against the people who imprisoned you—help us seize this world in the name of France and become part of the French Empire!”
The majority of the prisoners cheered at what he was offering.
“Or you can stay here and rot as intended,” the general said. “The choice is yours.”
The prison vibrated as the prisoners roared with delight. Anything was better than spending another day in the prison—even joining an army. Finally they could experience the freedom and revenge they had only dreamed about.
Colonel Baton, along with Capitaine De Lange and Lieutenant Rembert, recruited the criminals one cell at a time. The inmates were given the options of pledging their allegiance to the French Empire or remaining locked in their cell. And to the general’s pleasure, almost all the prisoners waited with bated breath to pledge their allegiance and be freed from their cells.
Only one prisoner gave the commanders an answer they weren’t expecting. His cell was at the very top of the prison and he supplied them with a message for the general that was too enticing to ignore.
“General Marquis,” Colonel Baton said. “There is a prisoner who wishes to speak with you, sir.”
The general was irritated Baton would even bring him such a request. “And what makes this man worthy of my time?”
“He wishes to help you,” Baton said. “And he says without his help, you cannot conquer the fairy-tale world.”
Hearing the prisoner’s message infuriated the general. Who would dare be so bold as to give General Jacques Marquis an ultimatum? But the general was so determined in his quest for domination, he allowed his curiosity to outweigh his ego. He decided to speak with the prisoner and see if he had anything worthwhile to contribute.
Baton led the general to the very top of the prison and showed him to the cell of the daring man. A large plaque displayed on the wall beside his cell read:
THE MASKED MAN
SENTENCED TO LIFE IN
PINOCCHIO PRISON
FOR ATTEMPTED ROBBERY OF THE
FAIRY GODMOTHER
The general peered into the cell to see the prisoner for himself. The Masked Man was tall but very frail. He wore a tattered suit and his tie was torn in half. A gray sack over his head concealed his face; holes were cut around the eyes and mouth.
“You are the Masked Man, I take it,” the general said.
“Hello, General,” he said. “I thoroughly enjoyed your speech down there. Boy, you sure know how to make an entrance. Did they teach you that in your military training?”
The general glared at this ridiculous man. “I do not have time for games,” he said. “Make sure this man stays in his cell.”
The general stormed off but the Masked Man desperately reached for him through his bars and begged him to stay.
“No, wait, General!” he pleaded. “I apologize! I didn’t mean to offend you—I’m only trying to help you! I have information that will lead you to a certain victory!”
On this the general turned on his heel and faced the prisoner. “And how can a man like you possibly help a man like me?”
“Because you’re not from this world, and I am!” the Masked Man said. “I know my way around it and how it operates. You have a very impressive army, but that won’t be enough to take over. You’re going to need something bigger, something much more powerful if you’re going to stand up to the fairies. And I know where you can get it!”
The general took a step closer to the man, his interest sparked although his face didn’t show it. “You have two minutes of my time,” he said. “Explain yourself.”
The Masked Man rubbed his hands together and began. He was a very odd and animated man and used lots of hand gestures as he spoke, most of which didn’t go along with what he said. It was like his hands and mouth were describing two different things.
“The first thing you should know about this world is its history,” he said. “The past is divided into three ages: the Dragon Age, the Age of Magic, and the Golden Age, which we’re living in now. Hundreds of years ago, during the Dragon Age, this world was a mess! It was filled with tyrant kings and evil sorcerers and obviously dragons, lots and lots of dragons—they were nearly unstoppable and reproduced like rabbits!”
“What value does this history lesson have to me?” the general asked. He was starting to feel like his time was being wasted and it angered him.
“I’m getting there, General,” the Masked Man assured him. “Like I was saying, there were dragons everywhere destroying everything—then the fairies got together and put a stop to them. That’s how they came to power and the world entered the Age of Magic. They formed the Happily Ever After Assembly and there was peace on earth and yadda, yadda, yadda.… Now the Fairy Godmother, the head of the assembly, and her fairies have been in charge since the dragons went extinct and no one has been able to overthrow them because…”
He was hoping the general would play along and finish his sentence but Marquis didn’t break his stoic expression.
“Dragons!” the Masked Man said with mystical hand gestures. “No one has been able to overthrow the fairies because you need a dragon—and I know where to get one!”
General Marquis had expected his left eye to start twitching from the moment the Masked Man started speaking—but it didn’t. There must have been some truth to what he was saying.
“So where do we get this dragon?” the general asked.
The Masked Man dropped his hands and an equally serious expression grew on his own face. “Let me out of this cell first, and then I’ll show you.”
General Marquis was impressed by the Masked Man’s quick and calculated scheme. But he figured there was much more to this man than met the eye. He wanted to know more about him before he unlocked the door of his cell.
“How long have you been in this prison?” he asked.
“A decade,” the Masked Man said.
“And why were you sentenced to life for attempted burglary?” the general pressed. “Surely even in this world that’s an awfully harsh punishment for such a little crime.”
The Masked Man lowered his head shamefully, not for committing the crime, but for failing to accomplish it. “It was what I was trying to steal that cemented the sentence,” he said, and then looked into the general’s eyes. “You and I are very similar men, General. We know an opportunity when we see one; otherwise neither of us would be standing here now.”
There was eagerness in the Masked Man’s pale blue eyes that the general found alluring. Perhaps this man could be of service after all.
“One last question,” the general said. “Why do you wear that bag over your head?”
The Masked Man smiled coyly. “The same reason you wear that uniform,” he said. “To cover something I don’t want the rest of the world to see.”
Normally a statement like this would outrage the general, but this time it made him smile. The Masked Man was a strange man, but he was one of the few the general could identify with.
“Colonel Baton,” General Marquis ordered. “Remove this man from his cell. As soon as we leave the prison we will organ
ize a traveling party and he will guide us to a dragon.”
CHAPTER SEVENTEEN
THE ONLY WITNESS
Alex and Conner sat by their grandma’s bedside all night. Neither of them could think about sleep at a time like this. They were afraid if they left their grandmother it would discourage her from waking up. They hoped that if she felt their presence for long enough, it might activate that last bit of magic inside of her.
An emergency Fairy Council meeting was called early the next morning to discuss the matters at stake. Since the Fairy Godmother was absent, Alex asked Conner to accompany her. The twins always thought best when they were together and they hoped they could help the Fairy Council assess the current situation. Alex took a seat in her chair and Conner leaned against its arm. Although their grandmother’s seat was empty Conner wouldn’t sit in it; he didn’t want to feel like it was available.
The meeting had already started and they could tell the conversation was heated when they walked in. All the fairies were standing at their respective podiums staring daggers at Mother Goose.
“Let me get this straight,” Emerelda said. “An army from the Otherworld has been trapped in a portal for two hundred years and now they’ve arrived and plan on taking over our world?”
“That’s it in a golden eggshell,” Mother Goose said. She shifted in her seat as the others glared at her.
“And why didn’t you bring this to anyone’s attention?” Tangerina said, absolutely infuriated. Her bees flew aggressively around her beehive. They would have attacked Mother Goose had she given them the word.
“I didn’t want to worry the Fairy Godmother,” Mother Goose said. “I thought I could take care of the situation myself and was too embarrassed to involve anyone else. The Brothers Grimm and I trapped them inside the portal and then, luckily, by the time their two hundred years were up, the portal had been permanently closed by the Fairy Godmother. I thought I was in the clear for good until she became ill.”
“So you didn’t tell anyone about this because you didn’t want anyone to worry or think less of you?” Skylene asked. “That seems like jumping into a lake to avoid the rain if you ask me.”
Mother Goose looked at the twins, especially at Conner, and then told the council something she had never told anyone before. “A very long time ago, before any of you were on this council, before the Fairy Godmother and I lost the color in our hair, gained the wrinkles on our faces, and when we were both much thinner—before Ezmia and Alex—I was the Fairy Godmother’s first apprentice,” she confessed.
All the fairies looked at one another, floored. Of all the things they involuntarily knew about her, Alex and Conner were impressed she had managed to keep this a secret.
“It only took me a few months to realize I wasn’t cut out for the job,” Mother Goose explained. “Sure, I was capable, but I just wasn’t willing. I was too much of a free spirit to take on that kind of responsibility. So I passed on the highest honor a fairy could have and became the laughingstock of the kingdom. The Fairy Godmother said she understood but I knew she was disappointed and it killed me. I promised myself I would never let her down again, so in the 1800s when I was careless enough to get caught by those greedy French fries, I tried to handle the situation the best way I could so I would never have to see disappointment in those eyes again.”
None of the fairies knew what to say so they just shook their heads. Conner felt sorry for Mother Goose. After growing up with a sister as precocious as Alex, he knew very well what it was like to constantly disappoint people. Now he understood why Mother Goose hadn’t been honest with him about the portal.
“Oh come on,” Conner said to the fairies. “Give Mother Goose a break! You’re all standing there shaking your heads as if you could have handled the situation better. Well, no offense, but at least she came up with a solution. I can’t remember the last time I saw any of you solve anything. Every time there’s a crisis it’s usually Alex and me who figure out what to do.”
“How are we not supposed to take offense at that?” Xanthous asked the others.
“My point is, glass people shouldn’t throw stones,” Conner said.
“The phrase is ‘People in glass houses shouldn’t throw stones,’ ” Alex corrected him.
“Oh yeah,” he said. “Well, you get my point.”
Mother Goose smiled at Conner and mouthed, “Thank you, C-Dog.” Emerelda massaged her forehead as she thought about what to do next.
“There’s no use in blaming anyone for what has happened—we need to move forward to find a way to fix it,” Emerelda said. “Alex, what do you think we should do?”
She couldn’t believe Emerelda was asking her. “Me?” she asked.
“Yes, of course you,” Emerelda said. “Unless your grandmother miraculously recovers, you’ll be acting as Fairy Godmother.”
This was a heavy thing for both the twins to digest. When people referred to Alex as the next Fairy Godmother, she always assumed they meant someday in the distant future, not now.
Alex bit her thumb and looked at the floor while she thought it over. “We need to see this army first, so we know for sure what we’re up against,” she said. “The more we know about them, the easier it will be to find a solution.”
“The last thing I heard them talk about was an attack on Pinocchio Prison,” Conner said.
“Why would they be attacking a prison?” Rosette asked.
“The general said they were recruiting,” Conner said.
Suddenly the room grew very tense. All the fairies eyed one another and frantically whispered among themselves.
“I told you, that General Marquis is a smart man,” Mother Goose said.
“Wait, am I missing something?” Conner asked. “What use can he get from recruiting a bunch of criminals?”
“There are some pretty powerful characters in that prison,” Mother Goose said. “Trust me, I know most of them. And the prisoners in Pinocchio Prison are only the ones who have been caught. The Dwarf Forests and the backwoods of every kingdom are crawling with criminals, and when they see their friends have joined an army fighting against us, they’ll all want to join, too. If the general succeeds in recruiting them, we won’t just be fighting an old army, we could be fighting a war.”
Conner gulped. He was sorry he had even asked. Coral was having difficulty processing the information, too. She politely raised a hand and asked a question.
“So are you saying that it’s possible the Happily Ever After Assembly may be up against—?”
“Everyone else?” Mother Goose said. “All the creatures in the other kingdoms have been waiting for an opportunity to overthrow the fairies and the humans. This could be their chance.”
Coral looked like she was about to cry. She cradled Fisher even tighter in her arms at the thought of what tomorrow might bring.
“The witches, the ogres, the trolls, the goblins, the elves—they’ve wanted us gone since the Dragon Age!” Violetta added. “They’ve just lacked the organizational skills to challenge us.”
“And those are skills the general can provide,” Mother Goose said.
While Conner and the fairies started to panic, Alex was adamant about her original plan. The more information they had, the more options they would have. She raised her wand and a bright bolt of light shot out of it, silencing the room of frightened fairies.
“We’re worrying about a lot of ifs,” Alex said. “We don’t know if the prisoners have joined the general yet. Those criminals are in prison because they couldn’t follow the rules of a society; what makes us think they’ll follow the general’s commands?”
She made a very good point—there was no use in worrying unless they had evidence to worry about.
“My brother and I will go to the prison and see if they were successful in recruiting the prisoners,” Alex said. “We’ll need a way to get there without being seen—and a flying ship or a unicorn isn’t going to go unnoticed by men from our world.”
“You can take Lester,” Mother Goose said. “That’s why I rode him around the Otherworld—if anyone sees him in the sky they just assume he’s a normal bird.”
“Great,” Alex said. “We’ll leave as soon as possible and get a better idea of what we’re up against.”
None of the fairies argued. For the first time Alex’s word was final and it was respected. With no time to lose, Alex and Conner immediately followed Mother Goose up to the grand balcony. She whistled for Lester and he swooped toward them from the towers above. She pulled his reins down and whispered their plan into his ear.
Froggy and Red were also on the balcony, showing the view of the gardens to Bree and Emmerich. Bree walked over to Conner as soon as she saw him.
“Hi, Bree,” Conner said. “How did you sleep?”
“Oh, you know,” she said. “As well as anyone could their first night in a new dimension, I suppose.”
Conner smiled; he remembered that restless feeling all too well. As tired as she was, Bree still had an excited light in her eyes as she looked around the palace.
“I’m so sorry you guys are stuck here. We’re going to get you home as soon as possible,” Conner said.
“It’s my own fault for wanting an adventure,” Bree said. “I made you take me, remember?”
This made Conner feel a little better. He looked over at Emmerich as Froggy pointed out the different parts of the gardens below—he looked like he was having the time of his life. He reminded Conner of himself during his and Alex’s first trip into the Land of Stories. He would have given anything to face those problems again.
“I’ve just talked Lester through it,” Mother Goose said. “He knows to fly high enough so no one will see you.”
“Squaaa.” Lester nodded.
“Then let’s get going,” Alex said.
They climbed aboard the giant goose and took off into the sky, heading in the direction of the prison. They flew over the gardens of the Fairy Kingdom, over the sparkling waters of Mermaid Bay, and saw Pinocchio Prison at the center of the peninsula in southern Eastern Kingdom ahead of them.