by Chris Colfer
She led the parade of monarchs into the Fairy Palace and down the stairs into the hall where Conner, Mother Goose, and the other fairies waited. They were all very surprised to see Conner there, especially Cinderella, who had witnessed the Fairy Godmother close the portal to the Otherworld right in her own kingdom. It didn’t take them long to understand something was seriously wrong.
Froggy, Red, Bree, and Emmerich came down the stairs to see what all the fuss was about. Although Bree and Emmerich had never met any of the kings and queens in person, it didn’t take them long to realize who they were looking at; Snow White’s pale skin and Rapunzel’s long flowing hair were dead giveaways. They stopped in their tracks and sat at the top of the stairs, admiring all the beautiful royals.
Red’s first instinct was to join them, but seeing Little Bo in the group of her former peers was a painful reminder that she didn’t belong anymore. She sat next to Bree and Emmerich on the stairs and glared at her nemesis from afar.
Froggy rushed down the stairs to say hello to his Charming brothers.
“Charlie, what’s happened to you?” Chandler asked.
“Why are you a frog again?” Chance asked, just as curious.
“It’s a long story,” Froggy told them. “We’ll explain everything, I promise.”
Alex decided to explain before any more confusion filled the room. “The Fairy Godmother is very sick and her magic is fading,” she told everyone. “Her spell on Prince Charlie has worn off and the portal into the Otherworld has been partially re-opened. An army from our world has crossed over and plans to dominate this world, but I’ll let Conner tell you about the army since he’s seen them up close.”
Alex gestured for her brother to take the floor but Mother Goose suddenly rose from her seat.
“No, I’ll do it,” she said. “It’s my fault they’re even here, after all.”
Alex and Conner looked at each other—they were impressed that she was willing to take responsibility in front of the entire Happily Ever After Assembly.
Mother Goose informed the kings and queens about the Grande Armée and how it was her fault that they had traveled through the portal into the fairy-tale world. She told them how they had raided Pinocchio Prison and recruited its criminals. And last, Mother Goose had the unfortunate task of telling the royals they could be at war very soon.
Alex sat in her chair as the monarchs were informed. She continued thinking of the horrors the future might bring and how they could best be prepared for them.
“So this army of five thousand men now has hundreds of additional soldiers—criminals that we put behind bars?” Snow White asked with a hand over her mouth.
“Correct,” Mother Goose said. “And we have a suspicion that it will inspire all the criminals on the loose in the Dwarf Forests and throughout the other kingdoms to join the Armée.”
“And how many criminals total would we say are currently unaccounted for within our kingdoms?” Sleeping Beauty asked.
“We’ve estimated around three thousand or so,” Emerelda told the room.
Rapunzel quickly did the math in her head. “Then that gives the Grande Armée a total of close to nine thousand,” she said. “That’s more than all our armies combined.”
“How many soldiers are in your armies?” Conner asked.
“The Northern Kingdom has an army of two thousand men,” Chandler said.
“The Charming Kingdom has one thousand,” Chance said.
“Many of the Eastern Kingdom’s men perished trying to fight off the Enchantress’s curses,” Chase said. “We only have around one thousand five hundred soldiers left.”
“The Corner Kingdom’s army is very small as well, consisting of only five hundred men,” Sir William said.
Little Bo Peep was the only one who hadn’t responded. “I don’t know the exact number, but I would say somewhere around—”
“Eight hundred and twenty-eight men!” Red called down from the top of the stairs.
Little Bo shot her a nasty look. “Yes, thank you, former Queen Red Riding Hood,” she said.
The twins were shocked by the low numbers.
“Unlike your world, we’ve never had a real reason until now for large armies,” Mother Goose said.
Conner added these numbers in his head. “So that means with all your armies together the Happily Ever After Assembly has roughly five and a half thousand men. That’s five and a half versus a potential nine thousand—the Armée could grow up to twice the size of our forces!”
“And that’s still not including the armies of the Elf Empire and the Troblin Territory,” Mother Goose reminded them. “If General Marquis manages to convince them the way he convinced the prisoners, then it’s over. We’ll never win this war.”
“Then we’ll have to get to them first.” Alex joined the discussion for the first time. “We need to do whatever it takes to make sure the elves and the troblins are on our side. They may not have a great relationship with the Happily Ever After Assembly but I doubt they want to see the world taken over by the Armée any more than we do. Does anyone know how large the elf and troblin armies are?”
“The trolls and goblins have an army of seven hundred, I believe,” Tangerina said. “And the elves have a thousand soldiers.”
“Then that’s good news for us,” Alex said. “After we convince the troblins and the elves to join us, that will raise our army to much better odds of survival. Plus, we have the fairies on our side; we can’t forget to include them.”
All the fairies behind the podiums objected at once but Xanthous was the loudest. “Fairies can’t go into battle; it’s against the Happily Ever After Assembly code of magic!” he protested.
“Screw the code!” Conner yelled, and the room went silent. “The code is there to ensure peace and prosperity for the fairy-tale world and soon there may not be a fairy-tale world left! If we want to win this war we will have to fight fire with fire, and Xanthous, no one has more fire than you—and no one can stir the waves better than Skylene—and no one can sting like Tangerina. We’re going to have to use every resource possible.”
The fairies were morally opposed to the idea with every fiber of their beings, but Conner was right. As long as they were using their magic for the greater good, they had no choice. Alex folded her hands together and looked at the floor as she thought more about what needed to be done.
“All right, I think I have a plan. Everyone listen closely,” she said, and gained the room’s undivided attention. “We don’t know where or how the Grande Armée will strike first—we have to assume it could be anywhere. I want all the kings and queens to write to their commanding officers at once and tell them to split their armies in half. Half of each army will stay in its respective kingdom so nothing is left unguarded. The other halves will go into hiding—I don’t care where they go as long as they stay out of sight—they are not to come out of hiding until they see my signal.”
“But why split up the armies?” Xanthous asked.
“That way no kingdom is left unguarded, in case it’s attacked,” Alex explained. “And if a kingdom is attacked, its entire army won’t be lost.”
Alex turned to face the fairies. “I want you to be with the soldiers guarding the kingdoms,” she said. “Rosette will go to the Corner Kingdom, Skylene to the Northern, Xanthous to the Charming, Tangerina to the Eastern, and Violetta and Coral to the Bo Peep Republic. Mother Goose and Emerelda will stay in the Fairy Kingdom and look after the Fairy Godmother.”
Alex turned back to address the entire room for the conclusion of her plan. “My brother and I will personally go to the troblins and elves and plead with them to join our side. As soon as we recruit the elves and troblins, I’ll signal all the remaining armies, the ones at home and the ones in hiding, and lead them in a strike against the Grande Armée.”
Everyone carefully went over this plan in their heads. It may not have been a perfect strategy, but it was the only strategy they had.
“What�
�s going to happen to us?” Cinderella asked. “Do we go home to our kingdoms or do we stay at the Fairy Palace?”
“Neither,” Conner said, and stood by his sister. “If the Armée finds you, they’ll kill you—they have a history of killing royal families and aristocrats—to them, death is the only surrender. We have to keep you moving at all times so they can never find you. I would suggest we put you all on a flying ship like the Granny but if the Armée saw that in the sky they would freak out and definitely shoot you down.”
“Then what can we place them on that’s both secretive and continuously moving?” Alex asked.
Her words rang a bell. Conner knew he had heard of something recently that met this description; he just had to think. He thought back to the very beginning of this whole ordeal, when he was standing in the cemetery listening to the Brothers Grimm stories, and the answer came to him. The Brothers Grimm hadn’t just provided a warning, they had also provided a plan.
“I’ve got it!” Conner said. “We’ll put them on an enchanted path just like in the story ‘The Secret Castle’! The path could weave through the kingdoms like a snake, never traveling in the same direction twice and never leaving a trail behind it!”
“That’s brilliant!” Alex said. “And the only people who will be able to find it are the people who know about it! As long as the Armée never knows about the path, they’ll never find it.”
Conner stepped closer to Alex and whispered something in her ear so only she could hear. “Do you think you can create the path, Alex?” He didn’t want to fill the room with hope if Alex wasn’t capable of the enchantment.
Alex took a deep breath. “Yes,” she said. “I know I can.” She looked up to the top of the stairs where the others sat. “Red, we can use the carriages you arrived in. They were very plain and didn’t bear any symbols of royalty.”
Red grunted. “Don’t remind me.”
Alex eyed the official robes, crowns, and jewels all the kings and queens wore. “We should also strip you down so you look less official,” she said. “You can’t wear any jewelry or be followed by guards or do anything that would make you appear royal.”
“But surely we can’t go on this path unprotected,” Snow White said.
“We’ll need some form of protection,” Sleeping Beauty said. “Even if the path is as disguised as we are.”
Alex looked to the sky to think about this. A big smile grew on her face for the first time all day. “I know the perfect people,” Alex said. They were flying right above her. Everyone looked to the sky to see what Alex was smiling about.
The sixth swan was finally returning to the Fairy Palace; it landed in the hall. All the monarchs and fairies were stunned to see Jack and Goldilocks climb off the swan’s back. Alex had secretly sent one of the swans to find her fugitive friends.
“You invited them?” Red yelled from the top of the stairs.
“Yes, I figured it wouldn’t hurt having a few friends around,” Alex said. “But now we have the perfect assignment for them.”
They waved uncomfortably at the royals in the hall. Less than a year ago the kings and queens had agreed to clear them of all their crimes as a way of thanking them for helping to defeat the Enchantress—and since then, despite the gesture, Jack and Goldilocks had already committed multiple crimes in all their kingdoms.
“Hello, everyone,” Jack said. “What’s the occasion?”
“We got your letter, Alex,” Goldilocks said. “We figured it had been sent to us by mistake, but the swan was very persuasive.” She and Jack held up their arms and showed the bite marks they had endured trying to avoid the trip.
Alex and Conner quickly told them about the Grande Armée and their plans to conquer the fairy-tale world. Jack and Goldilocks knew much more than they expected—word of the Grande Armée was spreading through the kingdoms.
“Many of the criminals we know have already joined them,” Jack said. “The Armée is growing by the minute.”
“Jack, Goldilocks, I need a big favor,” Alex said. “We’re sending the kings and queens away so the Armée can never find them. I’m going to ask that you go with them and protect them just as you protected my brother and me during our quest to stop the Enchantress.”
Jack and Goldilocks looked at each other—it was a big favor. The kings and queens began mumbling their objections to one another. How were a couple of crooks supposed to protect them?
Red whistled from the top of the stairs to get the room’s attention. “I know what you’re thinking because there isn’t a negative thought I haven’t had myself about these two,” Red declared. “But I can assure you there is no one in the world Goldilocks can’t take on with her sword, or that Jack can’t face with an axe at his side. We wouldn’t have survived our trip around the kingdoms if they hadn’t been there. You’ll be well protected under their care.”
Jack, Goldilocks, and the twins did a double take. They couldn’t believe Red was defending them to all these people.
“Thank you, Red,” Goldilocks said. “I would have never expected praise from you.”
“Oh, I forgot to tell you, Goldie,” Red said excitedly. “I have a new nemesis now! So you’re off the hook!”
Red gave Goldilocks a thumbs-up. Little Bo rolled her eyes and crossed her arms.
“Very well,” Cinderella said, and held Princess Hope a little tighter than before. “If you trust them, I suppose they’re the best people for the job.”
“Then it’s decided,” Emerelda declared. “Now we mustn’t waste another minute. Let’s get the kings and queens to safety.”
The fairies magically transformed the royals’ regal wardrobes into simple, common clothing. They were provided with parchment and scrolls and wrote to their commanding officers to inform them to split the armies as Alex had instructed. All the fairies, except Emerelda and Mother Goose, took the letters and disappeared into thin air, traveling to the kingdoms they had been assigned.
As they did this, Conner climbed to the top of the stairs to speak with Bree and Emmerich. “I want you guys to go with the kings and queens on the secret path,” he said. “I would never forgive myself if anything happened to you. You’ll be safe if you’re with Jack and Goldilocks, I promise.”
Bree and Emmerich both nodded, wide-eyed. The events of the past twenty-four hours had caused their heads to spin so fast they couldn’t think straight. They would have agreed to anything.
“Certainly,” Emmerich said.
“Sounds good,” Bree said.
Conner smiled and then faced Red. “I want you and Froggy to go as well so Bree and Emmerich have someone they know with them,” he said. “Besides, I know Alex and I will feel better knowing all our friends are safe.”
“What?” Red asked sharply. “You want me stuck in a traveling party with that Peep woman?”
“I’m really sorry you lost your throne, Red,” Conner said. “But if the Armée finds you, they won’t care that you used to be queen. I know you love necklaces, but I don’t think wearing a guillotine will be a good look for you.”
“Fine,” Red agreed. “But if we get captured I’m volunteering Little Bo for target practice.”
Once all the monarchs had been disguised, everyone left the hall, following Alex outside to the front steps of the Fairy Palace. Three carriages were lined up in front of the Fairy Palace with two horses each.
King Chance, Queen Cinderella, and Princess Hope climbed into the first carriage with Queen Sleeping Beauty and King Chase. Queen Snow White and King Chandler joined Queen Rapunzel and Sir William in the second carriage. Froggy, Red, Emmerich, and Bree boarded the third carriage, and to Red’s dismay, were joined by Queen Little Bo Peep.
“Will someone please put me back inside the wolf’s stomach?” Red agonized.
“This is going to be a long trip.” Little Bo sighed and shook her head.
Bree stepped outside the carriage before the door was shut and gave Conner a massive hug. “Please stay safe,” she said.
The gesture made Conner turn bright pink. “Don’t worry about me,” he said. “I’m used to being in danger.”
Conner shut the carriage door behind her with a tap for good luck. Cinderella poked her head out of the first carriage to get Conner’s attention.
“I was just wondering if you’ve heard from my stepmother and stepsisters,” she asked. “Are they all right in the Otherworld?”
“Oh yeah,” Conner said. “The last time I talked to them Lady Iris and Rosemary had opened a diner and Petunia was working at an animal hospital. They seemed very happy.”
Hearing this made Cinderella very happy, too. Conner was glad he could provide her with a bit of joy before she departed on the secret path.
Jack and Goldilocks mounted the horses attached to the first carriage so they could keep watch as they traveled. Emerelda bewitched the carriages to drive themselves while Alex stood in front of the first carriage, ready to create her biggest enchantment yet.
“Okay,” Alex whispered to herself. “Here I go.”
Alex visualized the path as clearly as she could. She imagined it snaking through the kingdoms, never giving any indication of where it was headed and leaving no trace of where it had been. She touched the ground with the tip of her wand and a shimmering golden path appeared on the ground ahead of her. It was less than a quarter mile long and disappeared at both ends.
Jack and Goldilocks held the reins of the horses and the parade of carriages took off down the secret path. Alex joined Emerelda, Mother Goose, and her brother on the front steps and they waved the travelers off until the golden path and the carriages snaked out of sight.
Emerelda placed a hand on Alex’s shoulder. “Your grandmother would be very proud of you.”
“I know,” Alex said sadly. She just wished she could have been there to see it.
Emerelda, Mother Goose, and Conner went back into the Fairy Palace. Alex was just about to turn and go with them when she saw someone she had completely forgotten about for the past few hours.