Twice As Dead: A Lukas Boston Mystery

by G. M. Hague

  He told her, ‘I can see a hand and a foot. The rest is buried under all the rubbish. Jesus, he’s ripe.’

  ‘Is it Harry Upton?’

  ‘Hell no, not in that condition. I couldn’t see a face, but my money’s on Gavin Hucknall.’

  ‘Then we need to confirm that.’ Beth said this without much enthusiasm, trying to sound like a caring, competent almost-detective.

  ‘Or you could wait until the cavalry arrives and let the Crime Scene people do that,’ Lukas said pointedly. ‘Believe me, he’s dead. It can wait.’

  ‘You’re right, and I shouldn’t disturb any evidence, right?’

  ‘Not when the evidence is all fucked up and rotting like that.’

  ‘It would be easily disturbed,’ she nodded.

  They got back in the car and wound the windows up tight.

  ‘Stop scratching.’

  ‘I’m not scratching.’

  There was a guilty silence for a while with Beth mentally shoring up her argument for not investigating the corpse further. Lukas took out his phone and began texting someone, making sure Beth couldn’t read it.

  She couldn’t stand it. ‘Anyone I know?’

  ‘Nope.’

  ‘All right, be like that. But do you think this is an appropriate moment to be updating your Facebook page?’

  ‘It’s not my Facebook page, this is a very important message. Besides, what else is there to do? Hang on, I just thought of something.’ Lukas leered at her.

  ‘You are sick,’ Beth hissed at him.

  ‘Just an idea. It’ll keep us warm.’

  ‘Let’s get back to being professional, shall we? How do you know it’s Hucknall’s corpse?’

  Lukas lit a cigarette and cracked open the window. He pretended not to see Beth’s disapproving glare. ‘Because it fits. My theory is that Gavin Hucknall was hiding in a commune and keeping well out of sight. Then one day he discovers that Chuckles is dead and finally, Hucknall reckons, it’s safe to poke his head out. The first thing he does is chase down the old love of his life, Grace Chadwick, and finds out she’s shacked up with Harry and doesn’t want anything to do with him. Somehow during that conversation or maybe later sometime here at the church, Hucknall figures out what Harry’s been doing with the missing cocaine and out of spite because he’s lost the love of his life, Hucknall drops the hint he’ll spill the beans to us. He was an informer, remember? He’s thinking he could probably get a sizeable payment for this kind of info. Except Hucknall’s old police contact Meatball is long gone, so who does he think of next?’ Lukas tapped himself on the chest. ‘Yours truly, since I hassled him so hard in the beginning.’

  ‘You’re saying that Harry Upton killed Hucknall to stop him informing to you about this church? Which he was prepared to do, just to get his old girlfriend back?’

  ‘Something like that. Isn’t love wonderful?’

  ‘Another subject on which you’re an expert, no doubt. By the way, just how many girlfriends have you had?’

  ‘Ah… define girlfriend, because it depends on–’

  ‘Never mind, you’ve just answered the question.’

  Lukas sighed. It seemed the best thing to do.

  Time dragged slowly. They were impatient for things to start happening. Even so, when a pair of car headlights came down the street, it was too soon. They turned into the car park and Beth said, ‘Damn it, this will be trouble.’

  ‘A bit early to be anyone we’re waiting for,’ Lukas agreed. ‘Get out, quick.’

  Beth heard something in his voice.

  ‘Who else are you expecting?’ she asked, hurrying through the door. For the moment, they were hidden from the other car, which had pulled up near the front entrance.

  ‘Nobody. Keep the noise down.’

  Together they ran to a corner of the building and peeked around. Harry Upton was standing beside the car and looking at the building and surroundings.

  ‘Looks like he knows we’re here. That somebody’s here anyway,’ Lukas whispered. ‘Damn it.’

  Beth said in his ear mockingly, ‘He’s not smart enough to have an alarm. He’s too lazy, he’s the stupidest drug dealer on the planet and doesn’t have any alarms or anything–’

  ‘Okay, okay, shut up will you?’

  ‘What happens now, you want me to arrest him?’

  ‘No, we need to wait until he’s got those drugs in his hands. It’ll make things a lot easier. I’d say it’s the first thing he’ll want to check. Then if we can somehow keep him here until the FRT arrives…’

  Lukas drew back as Harry’s searching gaze come their way. He waited for twenty seconds, then checked again. Harry was gone.

  ‘He’s inside,’ Lukas said. ‘Come on.’

  The two of them crept towards the front door, hugging the wall. Lukas could see the entrance was left open. With Beth right beside him he risked a glance into the church.

  Harry had turned on some lights above the stage, not bothering with any in the seating area. Familiar in his own place, his footsteps echoing noisily on the wooden floor, Harry was striding in the gloom between the chairs for the stage. Lukas saw an opportunity. He motioned for Beth to do exactly as he did, putting a finger to his lips.

  Crouched over, they darted into the church and rushed to duck behind the large wooden island holding the mixing desk. There Lukas and Beth froze, hardly believing they’d gotten away with it, listening for a sign that Harry had heard them.

  The stage squeaked and groaned as Harry walked onto it. They heard him pushing things around, checking and searching, muttering to himself as he tried to decide if someone had broken in.

  Lukas said under his breath, ‘Go for the damned drugs, Harry, you useless bastard.’

  Beth whispered in Lukas’ ear, ‘Did you turn your phone off?’

  ‘Did I what – shit,’ Lukas fumbled for his mobile.

  Just as the Macarena Song burst into life.

  ‘Jesus! Fuck, fuck, fuck–’ Lukas dragged his phone out and frantically answered it, hoping it was at least someone like Pete Goodall with an update on the FRT’s progress.

  Barbara Shield’s voice shrieked out. ‘I’ve found her, Lukas! Thank God, I’ve found her! She was in the city pound the whole time!’

  Despite everything, Lukas couldn’t help himself. ‘You – you never checked the fucking dog pound? Are you fucking kidding me?’

  ‘Didn’t you?’ Barbara answered, suddenly petulant. ‘It’s hardly worth that sort of language. Aren’t you happy that Esther’s been found?’

  ‘I’m more concerned that we’ve been found,’ Lukas said, jamming his thumb on the End Call button.

  Harry was shouting angrily from the stage. ‘Who’s there? Come out! Show yourselves!’

  Looking at Beth, Lukas shrugged and drew his gun. In one swift movement he stood up and aimed at Harry. Beth did the same.

  Lukas shouted, ‘It’s all over, Harry. We know what you’ve been doing. Put your hands up and come quietly.’

  There was a long moment while Harry stared at them, deciding. ‘Like fuck I will,’ he said, reaching down and pulling an automatic rifle out of the narrow, pulpit cupboard which had been padlocked.

  A burst of rounds smashed into the front of the mixing desk as Lukas and Beth dropped to the floor. Beth was on her back, clutching her pistol to her chest, panting and stunned. She said, ‘That’s a bit of a surprise. I wasn’t expecting that.’

  ‘Don’t worry,’ Lukas said. ‘He can’t hit the side of a barn. Harry’s been trying to kill me all week.’

  ‘Not until he gets close enough. Then he won’t be able to miss with that bloody thing.’

  ‘Good point, wait a second.’

  Lukas hung his Glock out the side of the island and blindly fired two quick shots towards the front of the stage. Harry let out a yell of outrage as if shooting back wasn’t allowed. ‘Hey! What the fuck are trying to do?’

  Another burst of automatic fire hammered the woodwork.

  ‘Giv
e it up, Harry!’ Lukas shouted. ‘This is stupid! There’s no point in anyone getting hurt now. It’ll only make things worse. You’re not a killer.’ He added this with a look at Beth that said, it’s worth a try.

  ‘Don’t shit me,’ Harry answered. ‘I saw you – I know you’ve found the body in the dumpster. I can’t do any worse now, but I can kill you two and make a run for it.’

  Lukas tried to bluff, ‘You saw us? What are you talking about, Harry? What body?’ He added quietly to Beth. ‘Shit, can you believe it? He’s got security cameras on the rubbish bins? Who does that?’

  She looked at him blandly.

  Lukas said, ‘It’s not my fault. Nobody puts surveillance on bloody rubbish bins.’

  Harry was yelling, ‘Some bastard keeps filling my bins with all his crap. I’m going to catch the swine one day, then he’ll be sorry. I’ve been watching them every night, waiting for the lazy punk. He should pay for his own fucking dumpster.’

  There was a condemning silence.

  Lukas told Beth, ‘Okay, fair enough that is really annoying. That guy should get his own bins. I’d do the same.’

  ‘Are you mad?’ she asked.

  ‘Take a few shots at him, will you? Share the load.’

  She obliged by doing the same, poking her pistol out the side and pulling the trigger. Glass smashed somewhere.

  ‘Bastards,’ Harry howled. ‘That’s double-glazing up there. It’ll cost a fortune to replace.’ He fired back with another burst.

  Beth said to Lukas, ‘Maybe this is okay. We’ve got him pinned down. All we have to do is wait it out until the FRT gets here.’

  ‘Ah, yes… unless someone else gets here first and makes things worse.’ Lukas shrugged. ‘You never know what might happen.’

  ‘What? What are you talking about?’

  The question was answered by Raymond Monroe arriving spectacularly in the front entrance of the church, bursting the doors open. He was brandishing a huge handgun. Max and his two assistants were close behind.

  Raymond roared, ‘Harry Upton – or should I say Gus Warner you thieving prick! I think you’ve got something of mine!’ For emphasis, Raymond blasted two rounds towards the stage. Harry returned fire with a spray of bullets that chipped the wall above the door, raining plaster down on Raymond. The four men decided that more discretion was needed and vanished.

  ‘This is good,’ Lukas told Beth. ‘Now we’re only caught in a crossfire. No one’s actually aiming at us, so to speak.’

  ‘In Harry’s case, isn’t that worse?’

  He gave it some thought. ‘Maybe.’

  ‘Did you bring these thugs here? Who the hell are they?’

  ‘It’s Raymond Monroe, Chuckle’s own son and heir apparent to the business. I was kind of hoping to kill two birds with one stone – well, arrest them. The FRT should scoop up everyone, right?’

  ‘So you messaged him that the drugs and Harry were here? How can you be so stupid?’

  ‘No, I called Raymond,’ Lukas said calmly. ‘But I texted his sister Julie telling her to stay well away and out of the trouble. It’s all in the timing, but I’ve done her a huge favour. Now she owes me and you’ve got no idea how useful that will be, not to mention keep my kneecaps in good working order.’

  ‘You’re unbelievable…’

  ‘It all worked out in my head, all right? I wasn’t expecting this bit, that’s all.’

  Raymond and his colleagues must have been observing through the door earlier, because someone hung their revolver around a corner a fired twice. One round sliced the air near Lukas.

  Lukas yelled, ‘Hey, watch where you’re bloody shooting! Someone could get hurt!’

  After a moment he heard Max sing out softly, ‘Sorry.’

  ‘We’ve got to rush Harry,’ Lukas said to Beth. ‘Wait until he’s run out of ammo and run straight at him. Those other clowns I can negotiate with, especially if I let them tie me to a chair.’

  ‘You are mad.’

  ‘How many bullets has Harry fired off?’

  ‘It’s an automatic rifle, you idiot! Who the hell counts automatic rifle fire?’

  ‘I thought with being top of the class and all that…’

  A new voice interrupted them. It was Gavin Hucknall.

  If I had anything I could tell you, I would.

  Lukas looked up to see Hucknall’s ghost standing in the aisle beside them. The air seemed to shiver and glow around him.

  Beth said, ‘Jesus, where did he come from? Get down you fool!’

  ‘Ah… too late for that, for him,’ Lukas said, rolling over so he could see Harry from the opposite side of the island.

  Harry was ashen-faced, standing absolutely still and staring in shock at the ghost. Trembling, he lifted the rifle and took aim. He croaked, ‘You can’t tell them anything… you can’t tell them anything!’

  He pulled the trigger and bullets flew everywhere, clipping the walls, clanging off light fittings and hitting the ceiling. Then the gun abruptly stopped. Harry looked at it, puzzled.

  ‘Now would be good,’ Lukas said, getting up and running towards Harry. Beth went after him, throwing wild looks around to find Hucknall’s ghost, which had disappeared.

  Figuring out the problem, Harry fell to his knees behind the altar and scrabbled in the cupboard for another full magazine. Lukas crashed into the pulpit with his shoulder. It toppled backwards and landed on Harry, pinning him down. For good measure, Lukas added his weight.

  ‘Cuff him!’ he yelled at Beth, who already had that in mind, struggling to identify the correct limbs to capture. Eventually they sorted it out, the pulpit was pulled aside and Harry was left face-down with his arms behind his back.

  ‘Bastards, no need to be so rough,’ he coughed into the carpet.

  ‘You’re right, Harry,’ Lukas gasped, winded. ‘It’s not like you’ve been trying to shoot me or anything – again. Jesus, you’re a bad shot.’

  ‘Yeah, well... bloody eyes aren’t what they used to be,’ Harry said.

  The stage creaked in protest as Raymond, Max, Bob and Oscar all stepped up in an ominous procession.

  Raymond said somberly, ‘We’ll take over from here, Lukas.’

  ‘Uh-uh, no you don’t,’ Lukas said. ‘I said I’d find your drugs. You don’t get Harry.’ He stopped Beth saying anything with a fierce look.

  ‘Really? You don’t seem to remember our conversation correctly. So where are my old man’s packages, Lukas? You’ve found them?’

  ‘Inside the old organ, over there. Under that panel.’

  ‘Take a look, Max.’

  Max walked over, the stage shifting more under his weight. ‘My auntie used to play one of these,’ he said happily. ‘She taught me stuff. Look, this is a G Minor.’ He played the chord and was disappointed no sound came out.

  ‘It’s not plugged in,’ Oscar said.

  ‘Oh, right — let’s have a look...’

  Raymond rolled his eyes. ‘Max, for Christ’s sake!’

  ‘Sorry, boss.’

  After ripping the panel out, Max tipped the entire organ so the light shone inside. ‘He’s right, whole lot of stuff inside here, boss,’ he said. ‘Looks like the real thing.’

  ‘All of it?’

  Lukas said, ‘I’d say it’s all that’s left. Harry’s been flogging this shit for years. What do you expect?’

  ‘I expect to be paid back in full, if not with cash then I’ll take it in pain,’ Raymond said darkly. ‘Hand him over.’

  ‘He’ll pay you back by keeping his mouth shut that you were ever here,’ Lukas said. ‘Leave a bit of the remaining drugs behind to justify the gun fight, we’ll nail him for all the shooting and the body in the dumpster, and you and I will call it quits, okay? But you’d better hurry. We’ve called it in. Back-up will be here any minute.’

  Raymond waved his gun around, smiling humorlessly. ‘It’s easier to just kill you all.’

  ‘You don’t want to be that wanted, Raymond. That many murders on y
our rap sheet, you won’t be able to live any kind of life at all. You’ll be hunted twenty-four hours a day, seven days a week.’

  Raymond cocked his head. ‘Hmm… maybe you’re right. Who’s this girl, anyway?’

  Beth opened her mouth and again Lukas cut her off. ‘She’s my new assistant. Tonight is her first work experience.’

  ‘Some experience.’ Raymond leaned over and put his gun barrel against Harry’s head. Time stood still and it was an eternity before he said, ‘You know, I can take care of you a lot easier when you’re inside jail. That’ll keep my hands clean and you’ll be just as dead.’

  Harry wisely didn’t say anything.

  Raymond said to Max, ‘Grab the gear. We’ve gotta go. As for you,’ he pointed at Lukas, ‘Drop around for another beer and we’ll talk about who owes who, okay? We’ll square the ledger.’

  ‘Can’t wait, I love that comfy chair,’ Lukas said.

  Max, Bob and Oscar examined the organ for a moment, argued among themselves and finally picked the whole thing up, shuffling awkwardly off the stage and towards the front door. Max said over his shoulder, ‘We’ll get it in the trunk somehow.’

  Raymond waved impatiently and announced grandly, ‘I’m sure we’ll all be seeing each other soon.’

  He followed the organ out of the church, holding his arms in the air like a triumphant prize fighter.

  Straight into the cordon of waiting FRT, who knew better than to run inside any building where people were trying to shoot each other. It was much safer to wait outside and see who came out in one piece.

  *****

  Lukas and Beth stood outside in the cold and drizzling rain surrounded by forensic personnel in their white suits, a myriad of police vehicles with flashing blue lights and a gathering media gaggle on the fringe of the car park. They’d been kicked out of the comparative warmth of the church because the amount of bullets sprayed everywhere turned the whole place into a crime scene. The criss-crossing blue tape looked like a spider’s web.

  ‘Your assistant?’ she asked him, glaring. ‘What kind of crap is that? You should have let me arrest him.’

  ‘If Raymond knew you were police he might have killed us all. He’s as nutty as a squirrel.’