Finally, his eyes returned to hers. The sense of relief she’d felt fled at the heat and longing she saw there. Her heart began to pound and she stepped back. He blinked and the heat in his eyes fizzled out.
“You’re awake,” she said, blurting out the first thing that came to mind, no matter how inane.
“I was about to take a shower. I didn’t realize you were still in the bathroom.”
That was the problem with old houses. They only had one full bathroom. Paul had talked about expanding the main floor powder room, but she’d turned him down. He’d done enough by creating a first-floor bedroom. Standing here wrapped in a towel, she wished she’d taken him up on the offer.
“I’m finished now.” She told her feet to move so he could step into the bathroom, but her body wasn’t inclined to listen to her.
“I see.” He didn’t walk around her. Perhaps his body was just as rebellious as hers.
That thought made her smile. And he smiled in return. She unfroze and stepped to her right. He moved at the same time, but to his left, and once more they blocked each other. They sidestepped again, as if they were dancing to silent music. He stopped, placing a hand on her bare shoulder. His touch was gentle yet it was powerful enough to weaken her knees.
Roz nibbled on her bottom lip, doing her best to keep from moaning. She wanted to reach out and touch him, if only for a second. If she had the nerve, she’d stand on her tiptoes and brush her lips against his. Of course, she wouldn’t. There was enough tension between them already. She didn’t need to add more by being reckless and impetuous. Exhaling deeply, she moved to the right then shook her head as he moved to his left at the same time.
“At this rate, we’ll be here all night.” He took two steps back and to the side, allowing her to pass.
“Thanks,” she mumbled as she scrambled past him, then walked as sedately as she could down the stairs and to her room. Once there, she closed her door and leaned against it. Whew. That was awkward and something else. Hot. She knew that Paul had experienced the same burning desire as she had, if only for a moment. Not that either of them would ever act on it. There might be desire between them, but there was no trust. Once trust was broken, it was nearly impossible to get back. And there couldn’t be a relationship without trust.
* * *
Paul stepped into the bathroom, then blew out a shaky breath. He closed his eyes, but he could still see the image of Roz wrapped in that pale blue towel, the scrap of fabric tucked between her perky breasts. That sight would be forever emblazoned in his mind. He wouldn’t forget how sexy she looked as long as he lived. There’d been a drop of water on her shoulder, and it had taken every ounce of his self-control to not lick it off her soft skin. He hadn’t planned to touch her, but with one glance at her, rational thought had flown, and he’d felt like he’d die if he didn’t.
He inhaled and his lungs were instantly filled with the scent of roses. The sweet scent of Roz. Ever since he’d come to stay with her, he’d been aware of the floral fragrance that was as much a part of her as her brown eyes.
Now he knew it was the result of something she put in her bath or splashed on her body. He should open the window and let in fresh air until no hint of roses remained. That’s what a smart man would do. Instead, he inhaled again, savoring the perfumed air. Eyes still closed, he let his mind drift back to a few moments ago and the wonderful vision of Roz wrapped in that towel. Frowning, he shut off the thought before it could go too far. He couldn’t let himself get swept away by her beauty, no matter how desperately he wanted to take her into his arms. That would be a mistake. And he was through making mistakes with Roz.
But how could he be sure it was a mistake? He’d been so sure he was over her and that he would never want anything to do with her. Now he caught himself thinking of her at the most inopportune times. It was becoming harder to resist her appeal. The more time he spent with her, the more she occupied his thoughts.
He shook his head. So what if he was thinking of her. That was probably the result of living in such close quarters. Once she was well and he returned to his regular life, he’d forget all about her again and these unwanted feelings would go back to wherever they came from.
At least that’s what he hoped.
Chapter Six
“You ready for this?” Paul asked.
Roz nodded. She’d woken up this morning feeling happy and energized. And though she didn’t feel as good as she used to, today was a good day. Excitement buzzed through her veins like ginger ale, sweet and clear and fizzy.
“Great.” He placed the platter of sausages on the middle of the kitchen table, then called the kids in for breakfast.
“I don’t want to eat now,” Megan complained as she pulled out her chair. “I want to finish coloring my picture.”
“You can color later,” Roz said, putting a waffle on a plate and setting it before her daughter.
“I’m going to be in the clean plate club,” Suzanne said, “because I don’t want to make your heart break, Mommy.”
Roz brushed a hand over Suzanne’s hair then tugged her braid. “My heart won’t break if you don’t eat everything. But your stomach will be hungry. And noisy.”
“I’m always ready to eat,” Nathaniel said, taking his seat.
“Me, too,” Paul said, putting a platter of scrambled eggs on the table. They didn’t ordinarily eat such big breakfasts, but they were going to need fuel for today’s adventure.
After everyone started to eat, Paul shot her a look. They’d decided to wait until after breakfast to tell the kids about the ferry ride, but from the excited expression on his face, Paul wasn’t going to be able to stick to the plan. He looked like he might burst any second.
“Go ahead,” she said.
“You don’t want to be the one to tell them?”
“You can do it.” It thrilled her to see how eager he was to take the kids on this outing. With everything that had happened, they hadn’t gone on any family trips this past year. The kids had gone on field trips with the youth center together, but this was the first time she and Paul were taking them on a family outing. They weren’t a traditional family, of course. Paul wasn’t their father. But he was their uncle and they loved each other.
“Tell us what?” Nathaniel asked, using a piece of his waffle to sop up the syrup on his plate.
“Yeah, what?” Megan asked, pausing before scooping eggs into her mouth.
Roz noticed that Suzanne didn’t look up or appear the slightest bit interested in the conversation. She was eating with a determination that struck fear in Roz’s heart. Suzanne was too afraid of upsetting Roz. Her little girl was well and truly breaking her heart.
“We’re going on a ferry ride,” Paul answered.
That caught Suzanne’s attention and her head snapped up. “I like fairies. They’re pretty. The tooth fairy puts money under your pillow when your tooth falls out. Megan got a dollar a few times. None of my teeth fell out yet.”
“You’ll lose a tooth soon,” Roz promised.
“Will I get a dollar?”
“Yes. But it’s not that kind of fairy. This kind of ferry is a boat.”
“We’re going on a boat ride?” Nathaniel asked, his eyes gleaming with anticipation. “Are we going fishing?”
“No. But we might see some dolphins and maybe some wild horses,” Paul said.
“Horses in the water?” Megan asked. “Horses don’t swim.”
“Maybe they’re seahorses,” Nathaniel joked.
Paul chuckled and goose bumps popped up on Roz’s arms at the sound that once had been a regular part of her life. Now it was an all too rare occurrence. “We’re going to an island. The horses will be there.”
“I love horses.” Nathaniel grinned. “Are we going to ride them?”
“No. Just look at them. And we might pick up some sand dollars.”
<
br /> “They make money out of sand?” Megan asked.
Roz and Paul laughed and their eyes met briefly. Paul looked away, severing the connection. She suppressed a sigh.
“Not exactly,” Paul said. “Now, who wants to go?”
“We’re all going?” Suzanne asked cautiously. She looked around the table and her eyes landed first on Paul, then on Roz.
“Yes.”
Suzanne pondered that and her little body relaxed. She smiled. “I want to go.”
“Then let’s finish eating.”
After that, there was lots of laughter and commotion as the kids got dressed.
“Depending on the speed and the wind, boat rides can get pretty wet, so, to be on the safe side, we should bring extra clothes and leave them in the car,” Paul said.
“Have you been on a lot of boat rides?” Nathaniel asked.
He grinned. “I own a boat, so yeah, I’ve been on boat rides.”
“You have your own boat, Uncle Paul? Why don’t we ever go out on it?”
“It’s docked in Florida, where I live. Maybe I can take you out sometime.”
“That would be awesome.”
As Roz listened to the conversation, she made a mental note to tell Paul not to make promises he wouldn’t keep. When he returned to Florida, she and the kids would be out of his mind as surely as they’d be out of his sight. Being left behind hurt like heck and was a pain she wanted her kids to avoid. She didn’t want them hoping for a call that wouldn’t come.
After everyone was securely seat-belted in the Mercedes SUV, Paul steered the car down the road. Roz turned the radio to a smooth jazz station. Past experience had taught her that the mellow sounds quieted the children on long car rides better than her frequent admonitions to use inside voices. That and making sure the kids didn’t sit close enough to actually touch. They each guarded their personal car space fiercely. By the time the second song ended, the children had settled down. Megan and Suzanne, seated in the second row, were playing with their dolls. Nathaniel, sitting in the third row, was peppering Paul with questions about his boat.
As they drove down the highway, Roz watched the passing scenery and let her mind float away on the clouds. Today she would simply let events occur. She wouldn’t waste a minute worrying about the future or regretting the past. She would be present in the moment and enjoy everything, making new happy memories.
The salty smell of the ocean began to filter through the open windows and the kids stirred with anticipation. They’d spent many days playing at the beach in Sweet Briar, but they’d never ridden in a boat. For a fleeting moment, she forgot her vow to let the day just happen and slipped into worry mode. What if the kids didn’t like it? What if one of them got seasick?
“Don’t fret,” Paul said, reaching across the console between the seats and giving her hand a gentle squeeze. “We’re going to have the best time ever.”
That simple phrase transported her to a time when she and Paul had been young and so much in love. Losing her parents at a young age and being raised by someone who hadn’t wanted her had left Roz insecure. A part of her couldn’t believe that Paul actually loved her. He’d been the football hero and she’d been the orphan girl whose cheap clothes were never in style. Every day, no matter what they did, he’d always promised that they were going to have the best time ever. And she always had.
Now she wondered if the words held the same significance for him as they did for her. She shook her head. Doubtful. Over the years, he’d probably said the same thing to countless women.
“You don’t believe me?” Paul asked. “You used to.”
“I believe you. It’s just that mother worry.”
He grinned confidently. “Don’t worry. They’re going to love it.”
Suzanne leaned over from her seat behind Paul, pulling her thumb from her mouth. “You’re holding Mommy’s hand.”
“Yes. Is that okay?”
Suzanne nodded, wiped her thumb on her pants and then began brushing her doll’s hair.
Paul caught Roz’s eye and winked. Oh, what she wouldn’t give to know what that meant.
* * *
Paul parked, helped the girls and Roz from the car and then led the way to the ticket booth. He’d made reservations in advance, so he handed over the cash and took the tickets. Although he moved with confidence, his mind was a whirl of confusion. Why in the world had he held Roz’s hand? Sure, his initial intention had been to offer assurance. But that wouldn’t have taken more than the briefest contact. Once he’d felt Roz’s warm skin beneath his hand, he couldn’t let go to save his life. Instead, he’d turned over her hand and pressed their palms together. It had felt so good to hold her hand. So right. Being with her felt right.
Which only proved what a gullible fool he was, because he should know that nothing with Roz was right.
“Which boat is ours?” Megan asked as she placed her small hand into his. She smiled up at him, trust on her young face. No matter his mixed-up feelings for Roz, he was clear about one thing: he absolutely loved her kids.
Nathaniel was maturing into a nice young man. Paul was proud of the way he looked after his sisters and mother, but he worried that Nathaniel attempted to carry too much responsibility on his shoulders. Paul was doing his best to share the burden and allow Nathaniel to be a boy. But Paul would be leaving and Nathaniel would once again try to assume the role of man of the house.
Paul glanced at Roz. Dressed in faded jeans and a long-sleeved purple T-shirt, with a purple floral scarf wrapped around her head, she looked very appealing. There was nothing especially sexy about her clothes. In fact, the jeans were a little bit loose, hinting at her curves instead of showing them off. Despite that, she was much too sexy for his peace of mind.
But it was her face that was most irresistible. Her brown skin was clear and her eyes danced with excitement. Suzanne said something that made her laugh and the sound sneaked past his walls, squeezing his heart until it hurt. He didn’t want her awakening his emotions and exhuming the feelings he’d buried long ago. But he couldn’t keep her at arm’s length if they were going to eliminate the tension between them. And Suzanne needed the tension to be gone. Truth be told, he’d prefer living in a stress-free home, too.
“Yeah, Uncle Paul,” Nathaniel said, wandering back to them, “which boat is ours?”
There were only four boats in sight and he easily spotted theirs. He pointed at a midsize vessel that could hold twenty passengers. “That’s it right there.”
Nathaniel raced down the wooden pier, his sisters following behind, calling for him to wait for them. Paul paused, waiting until Roz reached his side, then reached out and grabbed her hand. Telling himself that he wasn’t holding her hand because he wanted to feel connected to her again, but rather because he wanted to appear friendly in case Suzanne looked back, he glanced down at her. “You still feel okay?”
Her lips lifted in a sweet smile. “Yes. It feels good to be doing something out of the ordinary. Something fun. These past few months have been pretty harsh. Not that I’m complaining,” she added quickly. “I’m thankful that I’m getting better.”
He gave her hand a gentle tug. “No one would ever accuse you of complaining. You’re the most positive person I know.”
“It’s hard. Sometimes I just want to cry my eyes out.”
“Sometimes you do cry your eyes out.”
She gasped and stopped walking.
“The walls in your house are really thin, Roz.”
“But you sleep upstairs.”
“Don’t you think I come downstairs to check on you?”
Her bottom lip trembled, and he felt like a jerk. Obviously, she didn’t want him knowing she was afraid. Did she really believe he didn’t know that? Or did she think he didn’t care enough to make sure she had everything she needed? He knew that he’d been distant—th
at had been deliberate on his part. But he hadn’t considered how badly his actions had hurt her. It finally hit him just how alone Roz must have felt—and must still feel—even with him there.
His stomach churned as he thought about how he’d allowed Roz to suffer silently. She must think he didn’t care a whit about her. And why wouldn’t she? He’d acted that way. Worse, he’d told her that. Reaching out, he touched her cheek. “I’m sorry, Roz.”
“You don’t need to apologize. I asked you to help me care for my kids and you did. That’s all that matters.”
He started to argue, but the kids began calling them. “We’ll finish this conversation later,” he promised.
“There’s nothing to finish,” she said.
There was most definitely something to finish. He just wasn’t certain what it was.
Chapter Seven
Roz lifted her head into the wind. A light spray of water blew on her face as the boat knifed through the waves, but she didn’t think it unpleasant. In fact, she found it exhilarating. This was turning into a great day.
The kids were sitting on the bench between her and Paul, chattering a mile a minute. Even Suzanne commented now and again, although she still was quieter than Roz liked. Roz knew she shouldn’t expect a miracle, but she still hoped for one. Suzanne had withdrawn gradually, so it was going to take time for her to become her old self. Even so, Roz found herself watching her daughter, hoping to catch glimpses of her happy child.
Roz turned her attention back to the ship’s captain, who’d gone from extolling the virtues of the ship to delivering interesting tidbits about the surroundings. The girls had listened for a while, then, growing bored, began trying to catch water on their tongues. The captain steered the boat to a pier and the kids jumped to their feet.
“Hold on. Wait until we’re parked,” Roz said. They were wearing life jackets, but she wasn’t taking any chances.
“You don’t park a boat,” Nathaniel corrected. “Weren’t you listening to the captain? You dock a boat.”
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