by Bella Andre
“Why don’t you head over to the table in the corner?” Tamara said, as though she could see how badly Amy needed to sit down. “It has the best view of the ocean.”
But Amy couldn’t take in the blue waves or the surf. All she could hear was Travis saying We’re old friends over and over inside her head.
“If you have any questions about Married in Malibu,” he said once Tamara had brought over their drinks, “let me know. It’s a great place to work. I know you’d love it.”
At last, the dam inside Amy burst. “How can you sit there and talk to me about Liz’s job offer like there’s nothing wrong? Like it would be no big deal if we work together or not? Like we’re nothing more than just old friends?” Warning bells were starting to chime inside her head. She was supposed to be holding it together. She was supposed to be cool. Calm. Collected. But she couldn’t hold her feelings in anymore. “You broke my heart, Travis!”
For a long moment, he was silent. Finally, he said, “The last thing I ever wanted to do was hurt you.” His words were softly spoken…and threaded with guilt. “You meant the world to me.” He held her gaze, his expression seeming conflicted as he added, “You still do.”
Her breath caught in her throat. Once upon a time, that was all she’d wanted—to mean the world to Travis. But though he claimed she still did, the fact was he’d walked away.
“If I meant so much to you—and if I still do—then why did you leave?”
Travis was a master of the impassive expression, never giving anything away. Which was why it had always touched her so much that he let his emotions run free when they were together. Now, however, she couldn’t quite read what he was feeling. “All I’ve ever wanted is the best for you. I had to set you free.”
“You thought pushing me away was the best thing you could do for me? You thought tearing us apart would set me free?” Didn’t he understand that he’d torn her heart in two? “How could you possibly think that?”
Amy was surprised to see shame etched into his handsome face. “Because I’m not good enough for you.”
“How can you say that?” Of all the reasons she’d thought he might give her, not being good enough for her wasn’t anywhere on the list. “When we were together, you were always kind, generous, helpful, supportive. At least, until that day on the beach…”
“You don’t know how sorry I am about what I did.” He swallowed hard. “What I had to do, because of where I came from.”
While they’d been dating, Travis had deliberately changed the subject whenever she’d tried to bring up his family. It had hurt that he hadn’t wanted to share that part of himself with her, and she’d been too insecure about their relationship to press him on it. Now, however, she was not only older—and hopefully wiser—but she also wasn’t afraid of what could happen if she pushed him too hard. Not when she’d already survived the worst. Well, mostly survived it, anyway.
“What is it, Travis? What could possibly be lurking in your past that’s so bad?”
Of course, Nate had to choose that exact moment to come up to their table. “Sorry to interrupt, but Liz just texted. There’s a problem with the feed for the security cameras, and I’m not sure if the issue is on my end or yours.”
Travis jumped at the chance to get away. “Sorry about this, Amy, but I’ve got to make sure that the venue is secure.”
She’d run from him last night. Now, he was the one making his way across the street as quickly as he could to get away from her.
Chapter Five
Travis and Nate worked for several hours, heads bent over security cameras and computers as they dealt with the software update that had caused the wireless cameras and routers to stop communicating with one another. After Nate updated the protocols, Travis headed onto the grounds to restart the security cameras, one by one. Though he was glad the security system would soon be up and running at full speed, this also meant he had the mental space to think about Amy again—and about what she’d said at the coffee shop.
Not only that he’d broken her heart—which broke his all over again, just hearing her say the words—but also that she’d asked him to finally open up and tell her about his past.
When they were dating, he’d been so afraid of letting her see the darkness inside of him that he’d deliberately avoided telling her much at all. It wasn’t lost on him that, though he was willing to take on just about any physical threat to keep clients safe, the thought of admitting the truth of his past filled him with dread. But now that she was here for the week—and possibly longer, if she agreed to Liz’s offer—he knew he wouldn’t be able to avoid answering her questions.
Once he told her everything, what would she do? Would she hate him the way he often hated himself? Would she want to get as far away from him as she could, even if it meant turning down the opportunity of a lifetime?
No, he couldn’t let her do that. She deserved to be Married in Malibu’s portrait painter. If anything, he would have to be the one to leave and find security work elsewhere. Surely Liz could replace him without too much trouble.
Knowing it was a conversation he should have had with his boss before now, he headed for Liz’s office once he rebooted the last camera. Standing outside her door, he was more tempted to turn around and leave than he wanted to admit. Through sheer willpower, he forced himself to knock.
“Come in,” Liz called. When Travis stepped inside, she said, “Hopefully, you’re here to tell me that the security system is up and running again.”
“We’re back at one hundred percent,” he assured her. “But I’m here to speak with you about something else.” A major part of his job was making sure no surprises from people’s pasts disrupted the weddings. His past with Amy was no exception. “It’s about Amy and the job that you offered her.”
“Don’t you think it’s a good idea?”
“I think it’s a great idea. Amy is a very talented artist, and her painting of the bride and groom is going to be one of the highlights of the wedding. It’s exactly the kind of chance that she deserves.”
“Then what are you concerned about?”
Travis had always been extremely private about his personal life, and it wasn’t any easier to get the words out than he’d thought it would be. “Amy and I have a history together, and I want to make sure it doesn’t get in the way of either the wedding this weekend or Amy’s chance to work here.”
“How much history, exactly?”
“It’s Amy’s story as much as it is mine, so I don’t want to go into all the details. But we used to be really close friends, until…” He paused to find the right words, but couldn’t. He’d never known what to say to Amy either. “This is the first time we’ve seen each other in three years.”
Liz’s expression was thoughtful. “I imagine this must be quite difficult for both of you.”
“It is,” he admitted, “but Amy deserves this job. And I would never forgive myself if our past relationship held her back.”
Liz got out of her seat and gestured for him to join her by the window, which looked out over the gardens to the ocean beyond. Despite the difficult conversation they were having, he couldn’t help but smile at Daniel and Jenn holding hands in the shade of a flowering tree.
“I had a similar conversation with Rose not so long ago,” Liz said in a soft voice. “I was worried that she might not want to keep me on at Married in Malibu because of my past with Jason.”
Liz and her new husband had broken up ten years earlier, only to be brought back together by his niece’s wedding. Everyone was thrilled for them, including the co-owner of the wedding venue, Rose Knight.
Liz turned from the window to face him again. “If Amy does agree to work here, which I very much hope she will, I’m sure the two of you will find a way to work things out so that you’re both happy, one way or another. After all,” she said with a smile as she looked down at the wedding ring on her finger and then out the window at Jenn and Daniel, “finding happiness is what we
do here at Married at Malibu.”
* * *
By the time Amy returned to the rental house, Maya was there, looking absolutely gorgeous, even after her transatlantic flight. Her smooth, alabaster skin, startlingly blue eyes, and hair that flowed in waves to her shoulders made her features an artist’s study in perfection. Amy had certainly sketched her enough times to know.
When Amy left the café, she had been surprised to find a message waiting on her phone from Maya, letting her know that she’d unexpectedly been able to cut her photo shoot short and was hopping on a fellow model’s private plane to get here this afternoon. Nolan was on his way now, too.
After a big hug, Maya poured them two glasses of red wine, which they took over to the outdoor seating that overlooked the ocean.
Amy raised her glass for a toast. “To your wedding!” After they clinked and drank, she said, “You’re going to love Married in Malibu. Everything about it is absolutely perfect.”
One of Maya’s brows arched in question. “Everything?” Only a best friend could get away with aiming straight at the heart of things after less than five minutes together. “Even seeing Travis again?”
Amy hated keeping anything from Maya, but she had made a vow to herself not to do anything to mess up her friend’s wedding. What’s more, she couldn’t mention Liz’s job offer, because that was directly linked to her secret wedding gift portrait. Which meant that she could give Maya only the abbreviated version of the past twenty-four hours.
“What I’m hearing,” Maya said once Amy had finished speaking, “is that things are definitely not over between the two of you.”
Though a secret bolt of hope jumped through Amy’s heart, she said, “How can things ‘not be over’ when they never even really started?”
“It’s one thing if it didn’t start because he wasn’t interested in you,” Maya pointed out. “But he admitted today that all he wanted was the best for you and that you’ve always meant the world to him. Which I’m thinking is really good news, given that you’re still in love with him.”
“Still in love with him?” Maya’s proclamation had Amy nearly spewing wine all over the outdoor couch. “I haven’t even seen him for three years. I mean, he’s been really nice since I’ve been here, but I’m—”
“Protesting far too much,” Maya said with a gentle smile. “You don’t have to pretend. I’m your friend, remember?”
“Remembering is exactly my problem right now,” Amy said. “No matter how hard I try, I just can’t seem to forget. Not any of it.”
* * *
Three years ago…
Amy and Travis soon made it a weekend ritual to meet at the local farmers’ market, grab a coffee, then walk along the beach. Though they hadn’t officially started dating, she felt closer to him than she’d ever felt with anyone else.
Close enough that she started to wonder why they had never gone on an official date. In fact, the one time she had invited him back to her apartment for lunch, he’d told her he had a client waiting and that he had to leave.
She tried to be patient. Unlike other guys, who were out to take as much from her as quickly as they could get it, she hoped the fact that Travis was taking his time meant he was serious about getting to know her. And that he wanted far more than just a meaningless fling. Even so, Amy’s patience had limits.
They had agreed to meet a little earlier one Saturday so that they could walk the beach before the farmers’ market brought in the crowds. Her heart was pounding extra fast as she headed past the fruit and vegetable vendors setting up their booths, but she refused to wimp out. Not when she was absolutely certain about how good they could be together as more than just friends. When she found Travis standing with the sun at his back, any last nerves evaporated, her intentions feeling as pure and clear as the cloudless sky.
He turned just as she was running across the sand to him, his eyes wide as he took in the pretty sundress and makeup she’d put on especially for him.
“Amy? You look—”
She cut him off with a kiss. She had wanted to take her time, to start off sweet and gentle, but she’d been imagining what his lips would taste like almost from the first moment he had walked into the gym. Unable to help herself, she kissed him hungrily.
Finally, she pulled back, but only far enough to tell him, “I don’t want to wait anymore. I don’t want to take things slow. I’m in love with you, Travis.”
In her dreams, she had been sure that he would tell her he felt the same way. Then he would return her kiss, and they would laugh at how long they’d both been wanting to confess their feelings to each other.
Instead, he stood perfectly still. Rigid, actually.
“Travis?” She hated the tremble in her voice. Hated the doubt that was quickly spreading through her as he gently removed her hands from around his neck and shook his head.
“I’m sorry, Amy. I can’t.”
She wasn’t sure what he meant, just that every word he’d spoken had been colored with regret. “But I thought…? Don’t you feel…? Aren’t we…?”
“I can’t,” Travis said again. “Not with you.”
Amy had never felt so foolish—or so hurt—in all her life.
* * *
Present day…
“Seeing Travis again is a bigger deal than I was ready for,” Amy admitted to Maya. “But don’t worry. I promised I’m not going to let anything ruin your wedding.”
“I know you won’t,” Maya said. “But I’m not at all worried about that. I’m worried about you.”
“I’m fine,” Amy protested.
“Are you really?” She didn’t wait for Amy to respond before adding, “Because I for one think that it’s long past time for the two of you to talk. Really talk this time, without running when things get tough or scary.”
If Amy was being honest with herself, she wanted that too. But what if Travis didn’t?
The thought of putting herself out there again and being pushed away a second time was enough to make her chest ache. “I’m thrilled that you found your happy ever after, Maya. Unfortunately, that doesn’t mean that the rest of the world gets one too.”
“But what if you’ve already found your happy ever after?”
Amy loved Maya, but her friend could be like a dog with a bone. “Thank you for being there for me, like always, but what do you say we just focus on the wedding for now? After all, that’s the real reason we’re here. Not to try to get me and Travis together.”
Maya was silent for a moment before nodding. “Okay, then, how about we head over to Married in Malibu now to check things out? I know you’ve already been in today, but it’s probably a good idea for you to be there with me to make sure I don’t go all bridezilla on the staff. You know how we supermodels are,” Maya said with a wink.
Amy laughed. “I can’t even imagine it. You’re one of the most mellow people I know.” But she couldn’t forget how serious Maya had looked when she’d said, But what if you’ve already found your happy ever after? “You’re not going to do anything to try to get me and Travis back together, are you?”
“Don’t worry,” Maya replied. “If we see Travis, I’m not going to do anything crazy like lock you two in a room until you’ve worked everything out.”
“Promise?”
Maya nodded, looking utterly angelic as she said, “I promise.”
And yet, Amy wouldn’t be at all surprised if Maya’s promise was made with her fingers crossed behind her back.
Chapter Six
Maya wasn’t a bridezilla by any stretch of the imagination, but despite the information Amy had already given her, she did have a long list of questions for Liz and the others at Married in Malibu.
Fortunately, everyone was there except Travis, who was out picking up extra parts for a backup security system. For now, at least, there was no risk of Maya trying to get them together.
Which left Amy far more disappointed than she wanted to admit.
At present, Ka
te was giving Maya a comprehensive description of how she managed the flowers—she kept them growing at different stages throughout the year, chilled some to stop them from blooming too early and, if all else failed, had a half-dozen excellent suppliers on standby.
Amy appreciated how everyone at Married in Malibu had so much passion for their jobs, the same way that she did for her painting. If it weren’t for how up in the air everything was with Travis—and how much she longed to see him, though it had barely been a handful of hours since they’d had coffee—accepting the job offer would have been a no-brainer.
At four p.m., Amy had an appointment to visit the teahouse where the bridesmaids would be gathering tomorrow afternoon. A half hour before, after letting Maya know where she was headed and being assured that someone on staff would drop Maya back at the rental house once they were finished with their meetings, Amy headed out.
As she drove through the back streets of Malibu, she tried to push away her churning thoughts so that she could enjoy the beautiful scenery. But no matter what she did, she couldn’t stop thinking about Travis. And when the car suddenly made a bang and smoke started pouring from under the hood, she was so deep inside her head that she practically jumped out of her skin.
Trying not to panic, Amy carefully coasted the vehicle toward the side of the road, using the hand brake to slow it, then got out as soon as she deemed it safe. Wanting to put some distance between herself and the smoking vehicle, she moved into the shade of a large tree off the shoulder.
The road was several miles out of town, with barely any traffic at this time of the day, and what traffic there was rumbled past without slowing. Fortunately, Amy had enough bars on her cell phone to call the rental company, who told her they would send a tow truck and that they hoped to arrive within a half hour.
Silently telling herself everything was going to be fine—a phrase that had become a repeating chorus inside her head the past couple of days—she leaned against the nearest tree trunk, trying to no avail to get comfortable. Time had never passed so slowly before, and as she waited, she hoped that every vehicle around the bend would be the tow truck.