by Chloe Garner
Jimmy came back with the pot and Sarah tied the cow and staked her, goin’ back to her braidin’. Cow grunted, time on time, but Sarah just worked. Weren’t nothin’ to do unless there were somethin’ wrong.
Lookin’ over at the cow once more Sarah sighed.
“Better to be ready than well-fed,” she said, goin’ to her bag once more and takin’ out what were left ‘a the lard. Jimmy watched as she kicked over part of the fire and used one ‘a the bowls to scoop ash over into the pot. She squatted next to it to watch the water go, and Jimmy stood.
“What is it?” he asked.
“Soap,” she said. “You ain’t never had to make your own, I reckon.”
Whole process took maybe thirty minutes as the cow started workin’ harder. Sarah checked her again and then sent Jimmy for another pot of water as she sat once more, feelin’ stirred.
“I don’t know what I’m looking at,” Jimmy said as he came back, lookin’ at everything going on.
“She’s doin’ fine,” Sarah said. “Ought to have made more progress by now, but ain’t nothin’ wrong. I’m just bein’ sure. Ain’t got Doc around to come save ‘er, if something goes wrong, and she’s gonna have to hoof her own way back to the house.”
Jimmy nodded, lookin’ at the pan as the lard cooked with the lye. Sarah finally got up and poured the lot of it into a bowl, settin’ aside the new soap, what had been their dinner for tonight. She could still make stew, and the jerky certainly hadn’t suddenly gone bad, but wouldn’t be no more hardtack this trek.
Fastest way to kill a cow, next to the bullet in her gun, was a bad delivery, though, and infection’d do it next. Wasn’t worth a meal to lose a cow.
Cow kept workin’ and Sarah stood to check her again.
“She’s goin,” Sarah said. Jimmy came to stand next to her as the calf’s front feet emerged. He glanced at her.
“Seriously?” Sarah asked. “You ain’t never been present for the birth of a calf, before now?”
“My Pa didn’t keep cows,” Jimmy said. “Said that was for the farmers.”
Sarah shook her head.
“She’s been down this path before,” she said. “She’s plenty strong, and she knows what she’s doin’.”
They stood with her for the next thirty minutes as she delivered the calf, droppin’ a healthy baby on the ground what kicked and thrashed when it hit. Sarah unstaked the cow, who turned and took to the calf just like she ought. Jimmy snorted quietly.
“I’ve never seen anything like that, before.”
Sarah went to check the cow and stood, shakin’ her head.
“Well, you’re about to, again,” she said. “She’s got another.”
She went to get the soap and the second pot of water. Droppin’ her duster and rollin’ her sleeves up past the elbow, she washed everythin’, then went after the cow with the soap.
“What’s happening?” Jimmy asked.
“Twins mean problems, like as not,” Sarah said. “Just gonna check to make sure she’s okay. Second one’ll be backwards and twice as hard.”
The cow kept after the calf as Sarah checked the second calf, findin’ it set wrong. She gritted her teeth, rootin’ for feet and pullin’ ‘em straight, one by one. She’d seen too many calves drop to ever want to have to do that work, herself, and the idea of birthin’ somethin’ what had hooves was just more’n she wanted to consider. Hoof’d put a scratch on anything it pushed against wrong, and a scratch meant blood, sometimes blood Sarah couldn’t stop. First leg came ‘round smooth enough, but the second one got caught up on a bone somewhere, and the cow was like to crush Sarah’s arm, tryin’ to get the labor done with. Sarah kept workin’ at it, finally wrestlin’ the calf into position with both hind legs out straight, but she could feel the cow tirin’.
“Rope,” she grunted, pullin’ her arm clear and wipin’ it down with her other hand. Jimmy left, comin’ back with the rope from her saddle, and she tied it around the pair ‘a legs, puttin’ her hand ‘gainst the cow’s side for the next push and noddin’.
“Need to get this done,” she said. “Else we’re gonna lose ‘im.”
Jimmy picked up the slack rope and Sarah nodded, stayin’ along side the cow.
“You’re pullin’ upwards,” she said. “Helpin’ to lift the calf, only when she’s pushin’.”
She signaled him at the next contraction and he leaned against the rope, the right, steady pull Sarah’d been lookin’ for. The cow grunted and Jimmy let the rope go slack again. Sarah nodded.
“Yup.”
“Yup,” Jimmy answered. Sarah kept her hand on the cow’s side, feelin’ what was goin’ on inside her. Another push, and the calf made progress, but right about now, that calf was gonna start breathin’, head down inside his mama.
The next push, the calf’s hips came out and Sarah looked to Jimmy.
“You get him out, next time, no matter what she’s aimin’ for. Pullin’ toward the ground, now.”
He gave her a small nod and they waited. In time, he leaned back again, and the calf was born easily in a deluge of body and blood and fluid. Sarah worked at checkin’ the cow, without lookin’ back at the calf.
“Hold his hips up above his head ‘till you’re sure he’s breathin’,” she said. The cow relaxed again, then started to come around, lookin’ for her calf. Sarah got tossed around behind her, but was glad enough the cow was more interested in the calf than feelin’ bad about the labor, and she let it go. Checkin’ in on Jimmy, the calf was gummy and still, but its mouth were still pink and warm.
“Let him down,” Sarah said, and Jimmy let his arm slide through the calf’s undercarriage. It slid to the ground, and Sarah picked up its leg and lowered it, lettin’ the joint there pull and push at its ribcage, same as what she’d ‘a done for a human, only she’d ‘a been sittin’ on his chest to do it. Patchin’ were the same, no matter who you were workin’ on.
Calf coughed and sputtered, and Sarah let the cow push her out of the way as the calf struggled. Sarah stood and looked at Jimmy.
He blinked.
“Ain’t never done that, neither, have ya?” Sarah asked, tryin’ not to smile. She knew she were just as big a walkin’ mess as he were, but she’d never seen Jimmy Lawson at a loss, before. Calf, on its way out, had landed square on Jimmy’s chest, and everythin’ fallin’ with it had splashed all over him.
“Killing a man is cleaner than that,” Jimmy said.
“Almost always,” Sarah agreed. “Come wash up. Lettin’ it dry don’t help nothin’.”
“You could have warned me,” he said, meanderin’ back toward the fire with her, watchin’ the cow and her calves over his shoulder. “I’d have stripped most of this.”
“Didn’t know it were gonna happen ‘till it did,” Sarah answered. She picked up her duster with her clean arm, and Jimmy tipped his head at her.
“You managed to rescue your jacket,” he said.
“Well, that’s important,” she teased with a smile, puttin’ her hands down into the hot water in the cook pot and rinsin’ ‘em off. Felt good, gettin’ the slick off.
“I’m not sure how I feel about you washing placenta off in the same pot you use to make our dinner,” Jimmy said.
“Technically, amniotic fluid,” Sarah said. “Placenta ain’t showed up yet.”
She stood.
Jimmy Lawson had just blanched. She shook her head.
“Your mama did this six times,” she said. “While your pa went to Willie and Paulie’s to drink. Coward.”
“I remember,” Jimmy said, sitting down and looking at the massacre on his chest. “I remember the night Yip was born.”
Sarah nodded.
“You came to my room because your Ma was yellin’ somethin’ awful upstairs.”
“Pa came to my room and told me she was gonna have a baby, and…” Jimmy shook his head. “That he and Peter were going to go get a drink.”
Sarah narrowed her eyes.
“Little Peter were, what, eight, at t
he time?”
Jimmy nodded.
“Yeah. The twins were four, you and I were six, and Thomas was just two. And my father left us with Doc and the staff and went drinking with my brother while Ma was doing…”
He looked over, and Sarah nodded.
“I ain’t been there for a child,” she told him. “No reason I would be. But Doc says it ain’t no different. And that’s a body what knows how to deliver. Heifer’s a hell of a lot more work.”
Jimmy shook his head, and Sarah picked up the pot, going to put it between his feet.
“Take your shirt off and rinse it out,” she said. “You don’t, it’s gonna be stiff, tomorrow.”
“I’ll just go do it in the stream,” he said, looking down at the little cooking pot with… confusion.
Sarah watched as he stood and started toward the running water, feelin’ like she’d somehow broke Jimmy Lawson, feelin’ a considerable victory at it.
Maybe he’d laid with any number of skinny heifers, but this were the true end of that road, and he weren’t man enough to handle it.
Sarah took the hot water, usin’ it to get the rest of the gore off her arms, then goin’ to check the first calf as he made his effort to his feet. Second calf were still down, but his head were up and he were talkin’ to his mama as he made peace with what the world was like, now. Cow lowed to Sarah, and Sarah gave her a firm pat, checkin’ her over once more, just quick, then went over the calves the same. Was a hard birth, but weren’t no signs of lingerin’ problems for any of ‘em.
She went to find Jimmy.
Sun was settin’ as she found him sittin’ with bare feet in the creek, washin’ out his shirt and pants. She handed him the bar of soap for his chest, then went to sit across from him, feet propped on dry rocks.
“Hell,” he said, without lookin’ up at her.
“Welcome home,” she answered.
“That’s going to happen to Lise,” Jimmy said. Sarah shook her head.
“No, Lise’s plan is to have her doc from the big city come in and cut her open while she’s sleepin’, then let staff take care of it for eight weeks while she rests up.”
She’d seen cows tender-footin’ around after a bad birth led to a surgical delivery. Sarah’d take the groanin’ and gore, over that. Jimmy looked up, and Sarah shrugged.
“You done good,” she said. He played the tip of his tongue over his teeth.
“I don’t know what I was expecting, but it wasn’t that,” he answered. Sarah grinned.
“Ain’t an easy thing to watch, but it’s a hell of a lot harder to do, and I say that as a body who ain’t never gonna do it.”
“The calves,” Jimmy said, and Sarah nodded. He looked up, figurin’ somethin’ out.
“When the time comes,” he said slowly. Sarah raised an eyebrow and he picked his shirt up out of the stream, wringing it as dry as it was gonna get and standin’. “When the time comes, trade the calf to Merlin for one of our feeders.”
Sarah stood with him, watchin’ as he put on the shirt like it weren’t colder ‘n moonlight.
“You’re gonna keep him for stud,” she said. He turned, pullin’ on his pants without answerin’. She shook her head.
“Ain’t the way of things, Lawson,” she said.
“You’ll do it?” he asked.
“Yeah,” she answered. “I’ll do it.”
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Took two days for the sandstorm to give up, and in that time the calves started runnin’ round the hillside, buckin’ and playin’ any time they wasn’t sucklin’ or sleepin’. Cow went fine, but Sarah warned Jimmy she’d need all the water they could carry to keep nursin’ the pair ‘a calves. Wasn’t gonna be an easy ride home for anyone.
“Will they make it?” Jimmy asked. She shook her head.
“No, they’re gonna be ridin’ with us,” she said. She’d come back from checkin’ the storm that mornin’ and they broke camp quick as they could, wantin’ to be as far across the plain as they could get by nightfall, leave a short day the next day. Still coulda done the range, keep to water, but Sarah knew any of the other cows could drop a calf any day, still, and they needed to get home. She slung the first calf up over Gremlin’s withers, tyin’ its feet together round Gremlin’s chest, then she did the same with Flower. They headed out, Dog keepin’ the cows together and movin’, and Sarah kept an eye on the cow as they stopped for water one last time. The adults knew to drink deep - they’d done this ride before - but the heifers and the feeder didn’t drink at all, not havin’ any particular thirst.
They’d make it. Day and a half without water weren’t enough to hurt ‘em, but they’d be slow comin’ in. Two dogs, she might’a split the herd, when they got slow, let Jimmy go on with the ones what could and walked in the thirsty ones herself, but it weren’t an option now any more’n it had been, by herself every other year.
They started across the dry mountains and descended down to the plain, the cow walkin’ ‘tween Jimmy and Sarah to smell her calves as they went, and Dog keepin’ the rest of the herd in line. They camped four or five hours out of Lawrence. Coulda kept on, but the cows needed rest and there weren’t no good reason to push ‘em faster. Slower day, just like Sarah had figured, the next day, but they got to the house without problems, untying the calves and settin’ ‘em loose in one of the fenced ranges, while the pregnant cows went to the barn for Merlin to watch over ‘em.
They went in the front door, findin’ Rhoda sittin’ at the dinin’ room table with Kayla. Both of them stood and rushed to the door in alarm.
“What the hell happened to you?” Rhoda asked, seein’ Jimmy.
“Delivered a breech calf onto his chest,” Sarah answered, and Rhoda tipped her head.
“Okay, yeah, I can see that.”
“I need to talk to you,” Jimmy said, pointing at Rhoda, and Sarah waved at the stairs.
“Go get cleaned up,” she said. “That can wait ten minutes.”
“Fifteen,” Rhoda said, nodding. Jimmy scratched at his head, then nodded.
“Yeah. Fifteen minutes. I’ll be back down. And then we need to talk.”
The three women watched Jimmy go up the stairs, then Sarah went over to hang her hat by the door.
“Should I be concerned?” Rhoda asked.
“You ain’t in trouble, if that’s what you’re askin’,” Sarah answered. “What’s for grub?”
“Cheese sandwiches,” Rhoda said, getting a dour look from Sarah. Kayla nodded.
“And sliced fruit. It just came off the train. There was a chef on board…”
Rhoda elbowed Kayla, who clammed. Sarah raised an eyebrow, and Rhoda gave Kayla an exasperated look.
“He wants to open a restaurant,” Rhoda said. “He came here, because everyone said he had to, and he’s been cooking for us for the last day. He’s amazing.”
“All he does is put cheese on bread and cut fruit, I know a few folk ‘round here who ain’t gonna be much impressed,” Sarah said. Gettin’ the fruit in, that were somethin’, but slicin’ it weren’t worth puttin’ money down for.
“But you have to try it,” Kayla said, grabbin’ Sarah’s hand and draggin’ her toward the dining room table.
“I ought to wash up, too,” Sarah said. “Been out more ‘n a week, now, and ain’t bathed proper the whole time.”
“Right, sorry,” Kayla said. “I’ll keep you company, while Jimmy and Rhoda talk, when you’re done. You can tell me about your trip.”
“Or you can tell me what happened, here, this week,” Sarah said. “Week out in the mountains on horseback is rarely more interestin’ than what goes on in town.”
She started for her room and Kayla left to go back to eat, but Rhoda caught Sarah’s arm.
“You’re still down here?” she asked. “And he’s up there? Do I have to explain to you how being married works?”
Sarah looked at Rhoda levelly.
“You never met Peter Lawson Senior, so I’m gonna let that go,” she said. “I
hated that man most every day of my life, but ‘specially after he kicked me out to go live with my Pa and watch the man drink hisself to death. I might go up there, time to time, sleep there, even, but that ain’t ever gonna be my room. Don’t care what you, or Jimmy, for that matter, think about it.”
Rhoda dropped her arm.
“That’s actually true, isn’t it?”
Sarah turned to go through the door to her room, pushin’ the door closed behind her without malice.
She filled the tub in the bathroom with hot water and stepped in, lettin’ the dirt and the trail-sore soak off of her. She heard Jimmy come down and the door to his office close long before she got up and got dressed in fresh clothes. Lawrence were full of sand and dust what made everything dirty all the time, but it weren’t nothin’ like what she was, comin’ home from bein’ out, days on end. She caught glimpse of herself in the mirror and paused, mostly stallin’ from goin’ out to sit with Kayla, but she tucked her hair back behind her ear, and tipped her head back at her reflection.
She knew what she was. Didn’t need a mirror to see it, but it weren’t the wrong thing, checkin’ to make sure she didn’t have blood still on her face. Out of distractions, she went out to listen to what Kayla thought was important about the list of things that had happened while she was gone.
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The houses on the surrounding hillsides were going up quickly. The sandstorm had raged here, same as out on the plain, and it had set them back two days - Sarah hadn’t asked, yet, how the reservoir had fared - but they got closer to being whole buildings each day. Kayla and Rhoda sat at the dining room table for several hours, that first night, going through catalogs Kayla had procured, picking out furnishing and decor. Sarah sat in the front room, drinking gremlin tea and watching Mama with her pups. Their eyes hadn’t opened yet, and they mewled like kittens any time Mama got up to eat or drink, scattering themselves around the front room for the bitch to collect when she got back. Time to time, she came up to see Sarah, just breathin’ at her with her chin on Sarah’s leg, and Sarah rested her hand on the dog’s head, not over-friendly, but acknowledgin’ her.
Jimmy came out of his office late, after the sun were gone, and sat next to her, quiet. She rolled a cigarette for him and he smoked it, handing it back to her at intervals.