You can be confident that Silas will be a good father to our child. I’m sorry, I don’t even know if it’s a boy or a girl.
If you want me in your life, respond to this letter as soon as you receive it. If you don’t, then ignore it, get married, and live happily ever after. Whatever you do, do not let anyone read this (especially not Silas) until after you’ve been married a little while. Don’t ask why. Just trust me on this one.
If you ever need to get ahold of me, my brother will have my information. My parents don’t know I’m alive and I’d kind of like to keep it that way. No one in the Amish church, with the exception of my brother and now you, knows that I’m alive and well. I know it sounds wrong, but I have my reasons.
I wish you and Silas the best.
Josiah
Bailey sat open-mouthed, unable to comprehend all that she’d read. She read over the letter again. And then a third time.
So, did Silas know he was alive or not? Did Mamm ever write him back? He’d said that his brother had his information. Which brother? Did his folks still think he was dead? Or did they know and was everyone just pretending he was dead? Was it to keep her from finding out?
Ach, she felt like she had more questions now than ever.
But one thing she was pretty certain of. Her father was still alive!
FOUR
Her father was still alive! And out there. Somewhere.
Joy surged through Bailey’s veins. There was a very real chance that she would get to meet her dat.
She didn’t think she’d ever been more excited in her life. Except for when maybe Timothy Stoltzfus asked to court her. Or when he kissed her for the first time.
But this was different.
The question now was how would she get a hold of him? There had been no envelope for the letter, which meant no return address. Which brother knew about him? Was it Uncle Justin? Or Uncle Jaden? Or was it Uncle Joshua?
Nee, it couldn’t be Uncle Joshua. He would have been too young back when Mamm married Silas. If Bailey had been about five when her father sent the letter, that meant that Uncle Justin would have been about fourteen. Would he entrust his secret to a then fourteen-year-old? Nee, she wouldn’t think so. So that left Uncle Jaden, who would have been seventeen, her own age.
Okay. She’d write a letter to Uncle Jaden, then. She could send a note saying that if he knew anything about her father, that he would pass along the sealed envelope that contained the letter she would write to her father.
She bit her fingernail. What if Jaden wasn’t the right brother, though? What if he had no idea where her father was? What if the letter found its way into Mammi and Dawdi Beachy’s hands and she gave her father’s secret away? Worse yet, what if her father received her letter and didn’t want anything to do with her?
Maybe she should just talk to Mamm about it. But no, then Mamm would know that she’d been rummaging through her hope chest. But if Mamm had the envelope the letter came in, then she would mail it to the right person at the right place. She’d figure something out.
~
Kayla reached down to loosen the corner of the fitted bedsheet that covered Bailey’s top mattress. She always loved the feel of fresh sheets on the bed after they’d been laundered and hung out to dry in the sunshine. She did admit, however, that she occasionally missed having an electric dryer like the one she’d used when she’d been Englisch.
Ach, that seemed so long ago now!
She’d been happily married to Silas nearly eleven years. Eleven years. Where had the time gone? Bailey would soon be plunging into adulthood. Kayla had gone back and forth in her mind about talking to her daughter about her biological father, but could never find the words. But she should know.
Bailey hadn’t asked many questions over the years. And Kayla wasn’t surprised since Bailey believed her father was deceased. But Silas and Kayla knew the ugly truth about Josiah. And honestly, she resented having to live out a lie just to protect his identity and whereabouts. Wherever he was.
She pulled off the final corner, bundling the bedding into a large fluffy ball. But not before something caught her eye. The mattress had moved slightly when she yanked off the sheets and a narrow strip of vivid color revealed itself. She moved the mattress a little more, then pulled the item out from under Bailey’s mattress.
Kayla gasped when she saw Josiah’s initials and realized what she was holding. The secrets of the past. Her fingers trembled. She hadn’t seen this in years. She opened the flap and pulled out the strip of photos she’d once cherished—it had been her only tangible memory of her and Josiah’s relationship. Well, that and Bailey.
She quickly shoved the pictures back into the envelope. No sense in digging up old memories. Josiah had turned out to be very different than what she’d believed him to be during the week they’d spent together at the beach all those years ago. Occasionally, her heart still ached from the loss, but she never dwelled on it long enough to fester.
How long had Bailey had this in her room? And why hadn’t she come to Kayla about it? And what had she been doing going through her mother’s personal possessions? Without permission.
It looked like she wouldn’t be needing to share the truth about Josiah after all. Because, if her daughter had read the letter inside the envelope, she already knew.
What did Bailey think? Was she upset? Hurt?
She squeezed her eyes closed and prayed for the best.
FIVE
Josiah held his cell phone to his ear and waited for the answering machine on the other line to beep. “Hey, this message is for Michael Eicher. It’s Joe. Will you give me a call when you get the message, please? It’s somewhat important. Thanks.” He rattled off his cell phone number, then hung up.
Now the waiting game would begin. If Michael checked the phone shanty as often as his folks checked theirs, it could be a couple of days before he received the message.
Josiah had left work early, letting his secretary know he’d be out of town for an undetermined amount of time due to a family emergency. There was no sense in staying at work when he couldn’t focus. She’d been taken aback by his comment, probably because he never mentioned his family. And unlike others in the offices around him, his desk wasn’t cluttered with family photographs.
He owned exactly one photo album. One album that contained photos of his various adventures. It had once held appeal, but now? He’d come to realize that, without friends or loved ones at his side, those memories were meaningless. Worthless. Empty. They only served as a reminder of how lonely his life had become.
Which is why Bailey’s letter meant the world to him. It stirred something in his heart. He wasn’t sure exactly what he would do, but reconnecting with others from his past was now high on his priority list.
He now rummaged through his closet. Nothing but city clothes. That was something his brother had teased him about in the past. He could only imagine what onlookers thought when they spotted the two brothers at the café—one in dirty Amish clothing and the other usually in a fancy suit. No doubt they looked like odd ducks.
Fortunately he did own a couple pairs of jeans—albeit they were nice jeans. If he did visit Michael, he’d have to borrow some of his friend’s clothing. Because if he intended to stay on an Amish farm, he didn’t doubt he’d be expected to work. And even if he wasn’t, he’d at least feel obligated to.
~
Bailey was in big trouble. The envelope with her father’s letter and pictures was now missing. She racked her brain trying to remember if she’d moved it or hid it somewhere else. But no. She was certain she’d left it under her mattress. Which could only mean one thing.
Someone had discovered the envelope.
It had to have been Mamm. Bailey had seen the sheets drying out on the clothesline earlier in the day, but hadn’t even stopped to think that they might be hers—or that they would disclose her secret to her mother. What would Mamm say? Or would she not say anything and wait until Bailey stepped forw
ard and admitted the truth of her own accord?
“Bailey, when you’re done with the dishes, please come into the living room,” Silas said. “Mamm and I have something to discuss with you.”
And there it was. Her mother and her father—Silas—wanted to talk to her.
She wasn’t sure why, but her hands trembled. Was it from nervousness? Or excitement at finally getting answers to some of her questions? Perhaps it was a little of both.
Several moments later, she joined her parents in the living room.
After she took a seat, Silas began to speak. “I’m sure you already know why we want to talk to you.”
She could play dumb, but they would see right through it. “Jah. I think so.”
Mamm held up the golden envelope. “Did you take this from my hope chest?”
“Jah. I didn’t mean to find it. I was looking for pictures of Grandpa and Grandma Johnson because Timothy and I had been talking about them. And then I found that. Once I found it, I forgot all about the pictures of Grandma and Grandpa. I had no idea that you had anything from my father.”
“So you looked inside?” Mamm asked.
“Jah.”
Mamm and Silas glanced at each other. “And?”
“I was surprised. And a little confused.” She frowned. “So, my father is still alive?”
“As far as we know,” Silas said.
“I’m wondering why you never told me. I mean, if he’s still alive, I could maybe meet him.”
Mamm and Silas exchanged a look. “Do you want to meet him?”
She swallowed. “Jah. I mean, he is my father.”
“Dat is your father,” Mamm said.
“I know. But not really. He’s my stepfather. I mean, I’m not adopted or anything, ain’t not?”
“We didn’t feel that was necessary. An official piece of paper from the government has no bearing on the heart’s decision. And we didn’t want to have to ask your father to make that choice, to give you up,” Silas said.
“So, did you think that he might come back to see me?”
Silas nodded to Mamm. “He actually did. One time. But you didn’t know it was him.”
“Wait. What? He came to see me? When?”
“It was after Dat and I were married. Josiah was going off somewhere—to another country or something is what I think he said—and he wanted to see you at least once.”
“And he did?”
Mamm nodded. “For a very short time.”
“Did he say anything? Did I talk to him at all?”
“Jah, he was amazed at how much you resembled him,” Silas said. “He told you to be good for your Mamm and Dat. And I think you said that Mamm said you were a very good girl.” He chuckled.
Bailey laughed. “I said that?”
They nodded.
“Is he still in another country?”
“We don’t know. We haven’t heard from him since. He said he was going to step out of the way, and he did.”
“So, does everybody still think he’s dead?”
“Mostly, as far as we know.”
“Why does—did he want everyone to think he was dead?” Bailey frowned.
“Because he left the Amish. Instead of receiving letters from loved ones begging and pleading for his return and warning him that he was in danger of hell fire, he figured it would be easier to just drop off the face of the earth, so to speak. So that’s what he did.”
“But he wouldn’t be in danger of hell just because he left the Amish, would he?”
“No. But some Amish do believe that if a person is a baptized member of the Amish church, for that person to leave would mean they chose the world over God, and that breaking the vow they made would damn them to hell.”
Her eyes widened. “Ach, you said a bad word.”
Silas’s lips twitched. “Nee. It is not a bad word when used the right way, in the correct context.”
“But that’s wrong, ain’t so? I mean, that they would…you know.”
“Yes. Amish or not, the only thing that sends one to hell is unbelief. Rejecting Jesus. He that believeth on him is not condemned: but he that believeth not is condemned already, because he hath not believed in the name of the only begotten son of God.”
“Does my dat believe in Jesus?” Bailey looked at both of her parents.
Kayla shrugged. “I don’t know, honey.”
“I don’t know either,” Silas said.
“Well then, we have to tell him, right? Because we don’t want him to…you know.”
“No. We don’t want him to. We don’t want anyone to.” Silas frowned.
Bailey bit her fingernail. Ach, she wanted to tell them about the letter she sent, but they’d probably be upset. Nee, she wouldn’t tell them. At least, not yet. Really, there was no reason to right now. If her father responded, she could inform her folks at that time. Until then, she’d just wait and hope for the best.
SIX
Josiah nearly took a spill on the bathroom floor as he jumped out of the shower and lunged for his cell phone. He tapped to answer while simultaneously drying his face. “Josiah.”
“Hey, it’s Mike Eicher.”
He noted the enthusiasm in his friend’s voice.
“Wow, it’s been forever. What are you up to these days? Still exploring the world?”
“Nah. Not anymore. Just working behind a desk, shuffling papers and pushing pencils all day.”
Michael chuckled. “Sounds like a dream job.”
“I literally just saw you roll your eyes in my mind’s eye.” He grabbed a clean towel and began drying his body.
“Wow, what are you? Psychic?”
“Did you really? You rolled your eyes?”
Michael laughed. “I did.”
It was so good to chat with an old friend. “Hey, listen, I have a favor to ask.”
“Sure. Shoot.”
“You’re in Indiana, right? Are you anywhere near Rexville?”
“You mean tiny little if-you-blink-you’ll-miss-it Rexville? Jah, I actually go there quite often.”
“But you’re not in the same Amish district or anything, are you?”
“No.”
“Okay, good. Uh, how would you feel like having a visitor for a little while?” He blew out a breath. “If it’s an inconvenience, I can just stay at a motel in one of the nearby towns.”
“You? You’re coming out this way?”
He could hear Michael’s smile over the phone. “That’s the plan.”
“That would be great. We’d love to have you.”
“We?” Last he knew of his friend, he’d been a single playboy. But his brother Jaden had mentioned that Michael joined the Amish. Josiah should have figured there’d be a “we” involved.
“It’s me, my grossdawdi, my fraa, and our kinner.”
Josiah grimaced. “Oh. Well, I don’t want to impose if you’ve already got a full house.” Besides, he was used to living alone.
“Nonsense. The more the merrier. Everyone would love to have you.”
“You’re sure?” Not that he was surprised. Hospitality was the Amish way.
“Trust me.”
“Thanks, man. I really appreciate it.”
“When do you think you’re coming out?”
“How soon can you accommodate me?”
“I’m sure my fraa would appreciate a day or so to ready a room, but you can drop in now as far as I’m concerned.” He chuckled.
“If I leave in the morning, I’ll probably take a couple of days getting there. Will that work?”
“Sounds perfect. We’ll see you then.”
Josiah clicked off the phone at the same time Maestro’s meow echoed from the other side of the bathroom door. The feline had been a gift from his elderly neighbor next door, who owned several cats herself.
“Everyone should own a cat,” Ms. Parker had said, when she showed up the week after he’d moved in to his condo, litter box and bag of cat food in hand.
How
could he say no to that?
Which made him wonder. Did she do that for each new tenant? Or had she just taken pity on him because he showed up single?
Hopefully, Ms. Parker would be able to cat sit for him while he was gone. Because he couldn’t see Maestro happily caged for hours on end. He was used to being home.
Dried and clothed now, he sat on the couch, flipping on the television. He surfed through several channels, but none of them caught his eye. Maestro jumped onto the sofa and rubbed his head on Josiah’s arm.
“Come here, buddy.” He pulled the cat onto his lap. “You gonna miss me while I’m gone? Ms. Parker has some lady friends next door that you can meet. They might be your sisters.”
He mused on his comment. It seemed like eternity had come and gone since he’d seen anyone in his immediate family, save Jaden. How were his siblings doing? Mamm and Daed? How would they react if they discovered he was indeed alive and well?
He shook off the thought. He wasn’t going to Pennsylvania. He was going to Indiana. Only Indiana. To see his only daughter for the second time in his life.
He slid his hand over Maestro’s soft fur. “Wish me luck, Maestro. Tomorrow’s the day I set off on this crazy journey. Who knows what the outcome will be? I certainly don’t.”
~
Josiah cringed the moment the red and blue flashing lights came on behind him. “What?” He glanced down at his speedometer. “No! Not again.” He banged the steering wheel.
There wasn’t enough room to pull over on the freeway, so he veered toward the first exit he saw. He slowly rolled his car to a stop and reached for his insurance and registration, then fished his license out of his leather billfold.
He lowered the window as the uniformed officer approached.
“Do you know why I pulled you over?” The officer eyed him suspiciously.
“I think so.” But he wasn’t going to give it away just in case he was wrong. He could possibly have a taillight out or something.
“I clocked you at eighty-eight. The sign you just passed read sixty-five.” He pointed back behind them. “License, insurance, and registration, please.”
The Drifter (Amish Country Brides) Page 3