“I’m going out for a while.”
Josh turned and went toward the door.
“It’s not true, what Tyler says.” Ben’s voice stopped him before he could get all the way out of the room. Josh turned to look at him. “I don’t know what went on between you and Eloise but I can guess. She is a strong wolf capable of making up her own mind. She volunteered to go for the sake of the pack. Tyler had let his worry for her get the better of him.”
Josh nodded but didn’t say anything. As he left the room he wanted to believe that what his brother said was true, but deep down he couldn’t rid himself of the nagging guilt. He just had to hold on to the hope that Eloise was fine and would be pissed when Tyler and Derek went to her “rescue.”
He went to the front door and pulled on his coat. He wanted to be out of here before Tyler and Derek left. Another confrontation with Tyler over what his friend saw as his doing was not something he wanted to subject himself to right now. It would do nothing to soothe the guilt that was sitting inside him.
As if he’d been pulled by an invisible force, Josh found himself drawn into town and to Harper’s apartment. He sat in his truck for a long time, staring up at the building toward the light coming from the window on the second floor. Harper was there and only she could calm the turmoil churning in his guts.
He gave a bitter laugh. If he knocked on her door, would she let him in? Or would she turn him away? He had no idea. All he knew was that she wasn’t returning his calls and yet he still couldn’t keep himself away from her. He wanted her and right now with his guilt and worry over Eloise churning his guts he needed her.
As he got out of the truck, he turned over in his head what he would say to her. Any slick, seductive lines flew out of his head. He needed to be honest with her, to lay his cards on the table. If she rejected him for it, then at least he’d know.
He pressed the intercom button beside the door and waited.
“Yes?” Harper’s voice came over the speaker and some of the tension eased out of him at just hearing it.
“It’s Josh. Can I come in?”
There was a long pause and just when Josh thought that she was not going to let him in, he heard a buzzing sound that told him that she had at least unlocked the door. One hurdle down.
He yanked open the door and took the stairs two at a time. When he got to the top he saw her standing framed in the doorway.
She didn’t say a word as she stepped aside and he walked through the door to the apartment. When he turned to face her, she looked at him with a serious look on her face.
“Josh, what is this about?”
“I promised myself that I would go slow with you. That I would give you all the time you need to get to know me. But I find I can’t do that tonight. I want you and if you don’t want me in return, tell me to go and I’ll go. I won’t bother you, you won’t see me and I will stay away. All I’m asking is that you are honest with me. Am I a fool to think there is something happening between us?”
32
Harper
Harper looked at him and saw the vulnerability in his eyes. He was giving her a chance to do what her head was telling her. To get him out of her life so that she could go back to her bubble of safety where nothing could touch her, where nothing could hurt her. It was on the tip of her tongue to tell him that he was mistaken, that at least for her part there was nothing between them.
But as she looked into his stormy gray eyes, she couldn’t do it. Something had disturbed him tonight and he’d come to her because of it. She couldn’t lie to him, couldn’t tell him that there was nothing happening between them. The truth was that there was something there, and now that he was here standing in front of her, she couldn't turn him away.
“I would be lying if I told you that there isn’t something between us. But I’m scared of it.” Her words hung in the air for a moment and he moved toward it.
“What are you afraid of?” He reached up to cup her face and it made her realize that whenever he touched her, that fear clamoring inside her went away. The desire she felt for him whenever he put his hands on her left no room for anything else.
“I’m afraid of being hurt.” It was all she could tell him as she rested her cheek against his warm palm.
“I promise you that I would never do anything to hurt you.” He looked into her eyes and she could see the sincerity there. She knew that he wouldn’t do anything to hurt her on purpose, but what about something that was beyond his control? He must have seen that question in her eyes because he ran a soothing hand down her cheek and ran his thumb over her lower lip. “I can’t see into the future but what I can see is that I want you and I need you. Is that enough? If it isn’t, tell me now and I’ll go.”
It was on the tip of her tongue to tell him that it would be for the best but she found that she couldn’t do it. She couldn’t think about what would happen tomorrow, all she seemed to be able to focus on the here and now. He was the center of her world at the moment and she couldn’t make him go.
“I don’t want you to go.”
It appeared to be all he needed to hear as a relieved smile crossed his face. He leaned forward and melded his mouth with hers. His scent surrounded her as she clung to him. The feeling of the rightness of this settled inside and it shoved aside all her fears, all her doubts. The only thing in her head now was how good his lips felt against hers and how much she wanted to go further than kisses with him tonight. But first, she needed to get him out of his heavy coat so that she could feel his strong body pressed against her.
She pulled back from him and there was a question in his eyes. She smiled up at him as she tugged on the zipper holding his heavy down coat closed. Excitement lit his eyes when he realized that she had not changed her mind.
She took him by the hand and led him to the bedroom. She stood facing him and looked up into his eyes.
“Are you sure about this?” He made no move to touch her, and if she had any doubts about being with him, his words would have eliminated them. From the first moment that she’d met him, she wondered what it would be like to be with him.
“I’m sure.” She stepped toward him and relief flooded his face.
“Thank God.” He pulled her to him, so her body was pressed tight against his and he kissed her with all the passion that he’d been holding back so far. She clung to him as her desire for him slammed through her and she knew that she’d made the right decision to take what he was offering her.
Soon kissing was not enough and he pulled back from her. His hands trembled as he reached for the buttons on her blouse. She stood very still while he undid them, and parted the fabric so he could caress her skin while he slid the blouse off her body. She didn’t know if she was going to have the patience for him to undress her as slowly as he seemed intent on doing. She took a step back and reached behind her back for her bra.
“I don’t want to draw this out. I want to know what your naked body feels like against mine and I don't want to wait.”
His eyes flared with desire and with hurried movements they quickly stripped the clothes from their bodies. Once they were nude, she moved toward him and he put his arms around her waist and she snaked her arms around his neck. His body was so hard, his skin so smooth and he felt so good pressed against her. It was like the softness of her body was perfectly made to match the hardness of his.
He kissed her deeply as he slowly moved her back toward the bed. The edge of the mattress hit the back of her knees and she pulled her mouth away so she could sink on it. She laid back and held her hand out to him. He joined her on the bed and she trembled as he caressed her skin.
A tiny moan escaped her as he tested the weight of her breast. Her nipple tightened into a hardened peak, which begged for his mouth. He obliged her by lowering his head and taking her aroused flesh into his mouth.
Oh God, his touch felt so good and she never wanted this moment between them to end. It had been building between them from the moment she’d fi
rst laid eyes on him, and a part of her could hardly believe that this moment had finally come. How had she thought that she could ignore what was between them, that she could pretend it didn't exist?
He switched his attention to her other breast as his hand slowly traversed the skin on her belly, making his way slowly down to the source of her desire. Her legs fell open as he invited his touch. She felt so wet where he stroked her and her head tossed on the pillow as he played her body like a well-tuned instrument. Her need for him climbed higher and higher until she wanted to be filled by him so that she didn’t know where she ended and he began.
The skin was pulled taut across his cheekbones, and she knew that his need was as great as hers, but that he seemed determined to drag this out. She reached down between them, wrapping her hand around his hardened shaft and his breath hissed in through his teeth as he closed his eyes for a second. She could see him struggling not to give in to the desire that was evident in every line of his body, and so she spoke so that he could put both of them out of their aroused misery.
“I want you, Josh. I want to be as close to you as possible. It’s time.”
Her words were like magic, breaking the spell over him. He moved with a swiftness that surprised her, moving his body between her legs. She looked at him as he knelt there, the overhead light in the bedroom showing every line of his hard, muscular body to perfection. He was a magnificent male animal, and at least for tonight, he was all hers.
She reached down and took him in her hand, guiding him to the entrance of her body. With one smooth thrust, he pushed himself inside her, filling her. He was so big that her breath caught for a moment, and he settled further on top of her as he held himself still so she could adjust to him.
She put her arms around him and he leaned down to kiss her tenderly. His touch brought her higher and she longed for him to move inside her. She rocked her hips against him, and it was all he needed to take over. He pulled back and thrust back inside her.
She clung to him as she rode the wave of their passion for each other. Her arousal climbed as tension coiled deep inside her. She was close, could feel the pressure for release building inside her. Then orgasm slammed through her and she was helpless to do anything other than call his name.
As each pulse of pleasure went through her, she couldn't remember ever feeling this good in the arms of a man. His release soon followed hers and she held onto him as she collapsed on top of her.
Once their breathing slowed, their pulses even out and he rolled to his side to pull her against him, she couldn't bring herself to regret doing this with him. She didn’t know what the future held for them, but there was no way she could wish that something that had felt this good had not happened.
33
Josh
The mood inside Shadowbrook was sober, and Josh struggled to keep his joy at finally being with Harper to himself. He didn’t want to cause any more tension within the pack. The other members wouldn't understand how he could be so drawn to a human woman and frankly he didn’t want to have to justify his feelings for her.
When she’d allowed him into her apartment, she had not turned him away when he told her how much he’d wanted her, he’d felt complete in a way that he hadn’t felt before. How could he explain that to the people he lived with when they saw humans as the enemy.
He’d just finished his shift and was making his way toward the door of the fire station when Tyler walked in the door to start his shift. Ben had arranged the schedule so that he and Tyler were no longer on shifts together. This thing with Eloise had driven a wedge between them, and for a moment Josh wished it hadn’t happened. He and Tyler had been best friends since they were kids and he regretted the words that had been spoken between them. He couldn’t see a way for them to come back from this.
He’d been lucky enough to avoid him in the couple of days that had followed his night with Harper, but he could see that he was no longer going to be so lucky.
Tyler’s lip curled up in a snarl as Josh went past him toward the door. Despite his temptation to say something to his friend, he knew that any words he chose to speak would fall on deaf ears. Fear for his sister had made Tyler angry and he was looking for a target to take that anger out on.
Josh got to the door and as soon his hand closed around the doorknob Tyler made a noise behind him.
“Eloise hasn’t been found yet. Not that you care.”
Despite the voice in his head that was telling him to ignore him, that his friend was lashing out because of the pain he was in, he couldn’t stop himself from spinning around.
“I don’t know where you made the leap that I don’t want to be in a relationship with your sister means that I don’t care about what happens to her. What did you want me to do? String her along, pretending that being with me was right for her and not give her a chance to move on and find someone who was better for her?”
Anger clouded Tyler’s face and took a step toward Josh, grabbing hold of the lapels of his uniform.
“I want my sister to be here, not out there somewhere. She could be hurt, she could be dead for all we know. She left because you rejected her, because she couldn't stand to see you chasing after that human.”
“What do you suggest I do about it? What do you want Tyler? Do you want me to go out and find her?” Josh broke the hold that Tyler had on his shirt and shoved him back.
“And tear you away from your human? No thanks. After my shift tonight I’m going out to look for her and I don’t give a shit about what the Alpha says about it.”
A movement at the doorway to the part of the station that held the lounge and Ben’s office caught his eye. Ben stood in the doorway, and he was scowling at them.
“Tyler, I know you are worried about Eloise, but Derek is tracking her. She will be found and she will be brought home. If more wolves need to go out to look for her, you will be the first on my list to be sent out. Until that happens I suggest you go get ready to start your shift.” The look on Ben’s face hardened as he looked at Tyler. “Do I make myself clear?”
Despite his brave words, Josh knew that Tyler would not go against a direct order from his Alpha. “Yes, Alpha.”
Tyler gave Josh one last hard look before turning and walking away. Once he was out of the room, Ben came toward him.
“I had thought that if you weren’t on the same shift with each other that it would stop any trouble from brewing between you.” Ben frowned at him and Josh shoved his fingers through his hair.
“I didn’t start it. I was trying to leave when he started in on me about Eloise.”
“It’s clear that he still blames you for his sister leaving. And right now fighting within the pack is the last thing we need.”
“What do you suggest?” Josh didn’t know what more he could do to get Tyler to see Eloise being missing was not his fault. Maybe it would be a good idea if he avoided Shadowbrook altogether until Eloise was found and returned home. “I could leave Shadowbrook for a while, stay in town and only come here for my shifts.”
The more he thought about it, the more it seemed like a good idea. As long as Tyler was walking around the house like a wounded animal, it would only be a matter of time before things blew up between them. It was the last thing the pack would need right now.
“I don’t want you to feel like you've been driven from your home, but it might be for the best. There is too much shit going on inside the pack, and if I’m going to keep everything under control, I don’t need you and Tyler fighting. Do you have somewhere to go?”
“I can stay with Harper.” He was sure that she wouldn’t mind if he stuck around her place for a little while. He hoped that she wouldn't ask too many questions. He still needed to tell her his true nature, but he wasn’t ready for that and he suspected neither was she.
Ben’s brows climbed to his forehead. “I didn’t realize that you and Harper had gotten that close.”
“You knew I was interested in her. Did you think I was going to sit
around and not try to make something happen between us?”
“No, I certainly didn’t expect that. Just be careful of her.”
Josh nodded and turned and finally left the fire station. And he rehearsed in his head what he was going to say to Harper to get her to let him stay.
34
Harper
Harper looked at Josh as they finished eating dinner. He was still in his uniform, and he’d just finished a twenty-four-hour shift. He had to be tired, and she wondered why he was avoiding going to his home. When he’d showed up outside her door the other night, he’d been closed-mouth about why he was there with a bag in his hand. She hadn’t wanted to push him, and thought he would open up to her eventually. But it appeared that no explanation was going to be forthcoming.
There had to be something that was keeping him from going home, and she’d noticed a tension inside when he’d come here tonight.
She stood up and gathered the dishes as she thought about how she was going to broach the subject with him. It wasn’t that she didn’t want him here, if she was honest she enjoyed sleeping in his arms on the night that he didn’t have to work. And she missed him when he was working his long shifts.
“Let me do that.” He took the dishes from her with a smile and took them over to the counter. “You made the meal so it’s only fair that I do the dishes. You go and put your feet up. I’ll be done with these in a few minutes.”
“Thank you.” She turned and left the kitchen and went to the living room. It didn’t take him long to wash the dishes and when he came into the living room, she knew that she needed to talk to him about what was going on with him.
“Why are you avoiding Shadowbrook?” She sat down on the sofa and patted the cushion beside her.
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