Without a Doubt

by Fleur McDonald

  The four bikes and chopper kept guiding the animals towards the yards, not letting them look back.

  ‘Get around there,’ Bulldust yelled to the dogs, and the pack raced to the front and directed the leaders into the forcing yard. The forcing yard, Dave had learned, was no different to the forcing yards at home—it was the lead-up into the main set of yards where the drafting would take place—but it was much, much larger. Large enough to hold four hundred head.

  With the noise and dust the cattle were kicking up, it was hard to see if the leaders were headed in the right direction, but Dave assumed Chris would let them know if they weren’t.

  ‘Half the mob in,’ Chris radioed down. ‘Push hard.’

  Dave revved the bike and rode a bit faster, avoiding the large rocks and tussocks, tucking the calves back in that kept trying to break away from the mob to find their mums.

  It didn’t take long and the whole lot were in there and the gates were closed behind them. The motorbikes all pulled up next to the gate and Chris put the chopper down a bit further away.

  Dave waited to see what Bulldust was going to do. It looked like he was checking the sky.

  ‘Got time to draft before the sun goes down. See the dust coming up the drive? That’s Larry. We’ll wait until he gets here to start. We’ll load at first light tomorrow.’ He looked at Dave. ‘I hope you can sleep through a baby crying because these babies cry loud.’

  Dave shrugged as if it didn’t bother him.

  ‘Larry, George and Dave, you push up. Shane, you’re up here with me on the drafting ring. Chris, you float and see who needs help.’

  The drafting ring wasn’t like anything Dave had seen before. A round yard with a platform high above it. Bulldust stood up there and worked the spring-loaded levers, which opened the gates, and drafted the cattle into the pens Bulldust wanted them in.

  ‘Owners want all the calves off, drafted into the sexes,’ Bulldust told Shane. ‘Cows into the biggest pens and the bullocks out the back. If you see any cows you think are too light to get back in calf, give a yell and we’ll take them off too. Right?’

  Dave saw Shane nod.

  In the whole time Dave had been with the crew, Shane hadn’t said a word. He seemed like he was close to Bulldust in a strange sort of way, and the rest of the crew treated him with a huge amount of respect—almost like he was untouchable. He was shorter than most of the other blokes and worked with a handkerchief over his nose and mouth to keep the dust out and sunglasses covering his eyes. Dave had really only seen him working out the paddock but he guessed they’d have a chance to meet tonight. He’d driven in the ute with George, while Shane had travelled with Bulldust.

  Dave was good at working out who fitted where and what the relationships were between people, but this one had him stumped. He’d have to be careful.

  The truck pulled up in a cloud of red bulldust and Larry jumped out.

  ‘In the yards,’ Bulldust yelled to him and Larry gave the thumbs-up.

  ‘Small mobs,’ Bulldust instructed to Dave, Larry and George. ‘No more than five in one lot.’

  He nodded but realised that Bulldust wouldn’t see him.

  Dave and George worked five cows out of the mob and up towards the round yard.

  ‘Cows!’ George yelled loudly.

  ‘Gate five!’ Bulldust screamed and Shane reefed on the long steel handle and opened gate five.

  Going back to get more cattle, they repeated the same task, taking a few at a time and trying to get all the same—just calves or just cows.

  ‘Mix ’em up a bit,’ George said to Dave above the racket of the bellowing. ‘Otherwise we’re going to end up with all the calves at the back.’

  Dave understood immediately. When they’d been drafting ewes and lambs at home, if all the lambs had been left to the back, they would be hard to push through the race. If they came through with the ewes, the ewes would lead them through and make it much easier.

  He worked his way through the mob, an eye on every beast. He knew they could come at him from anywhere and because they didn’t have contact with humans often, they would do just that. Working a mob of eight calves from the main mob, he hurried them forward yelling, ‘Eight calves! Eight calves!’

  ‘Eight calves, gate one!’

  Dave turned around to see where Larry was and if he needed help. The dust was thick but right at the back of the pen he caught a glimpse of his hat. Dave jumped on the outside of the yards to get back there quicker, then he began to run.

  ‘Look out! Larry, look the fuck out!’

  Larry looked up from where he was trying to get a calf head out from between the railing of the yards where it had become stuck.

  The cow had realised her calf wasn’t next to her and was sizing Larry up to charge him. She took a couple of steps, then started to run at him.

  Without thinking, Dave ran at the cow and jumped on her, wrenching her head around to her shoulder. With a bellow the cow started to buck, but Dave held on, twisting, twisting, until he threw his body against her and lifted himself off the ground with such force, the cow fell over. For seconds he couldn’t hear anything, just feel the heat of the cow underneath him, the muscles twitching and the smell of the shit and piss.

  George was on Larry within seconds and got him out of the yard, while Bulldust ran towards Dave.

  ‘Get off, get off,’ he yelled at Dave.

  Dave let go and Bulldust distracted the cow as she struggled to her feet, while Dave got to the fence. He catapulted over, his hands breaking the fall. He lay there in the dirt, gasping for breath, his chest heaving, before sitting up.

  ‘Larry?’

  ‘He’s good,’ George said. ‘You right, mate? Here, have some water. Fuck, that was a gutsy move. Don’t reckon I’ve seen anyone do that since the last rodeo I went to.’

  Dave tested his legs and arms. ‘No worries here.’ He took the water and gulped at it. His legs were trembling and he took a couple of minutes more to settle himself before getting up.

  ‘Cheers, mate,’ Larry said, coming up to him and holding out his hand. Dave shook it.

  ‘Nothing special,’ he answered, looking around on the ground and then touching his head.

  ‘Good job,’ Bulldust said, clapping Dave on the shoulder.

  ‘Cheers.’

  ‘What’s wrong?’

  ‘I’ve lost me fucking hat.’

  The men burst out laughing. It felt good to laugh after such a fright.

  ‘Don’t worry, Dave, we’ll buy you another one.’

  They finished drafting the cattle within another hour and Bulldust sent Dave to open the gate to let the bullocks out into the small paddock near the yards. There was hay and water in there, and one of the station hands would come by tomorrow to pick them up.

  The sun had slipped below the horizon as he finished, and he turned to look at the colours in the sky. Bouncing off the red hills, white ghost gums and green leaves, the sun’s last light seemed to make the colours deeper and richer. Even with the noise of the cattle, he knew he could stay up here forever. This country was stunning and he loved the work.

  He turned to head back and caught sight of Shane walking towards a trough, a towel over his shoulder. Dave watched for a moment, wondering if it was a good time to have a word, seeing as he could do with a wash too. The sweat had long since dried on every inch of his skin, with the dirt and dust almost engrained in him.

  Shane dumped the towel on top of the trough lid and stripped off his jeans. Dave started to walk over, but as Shane took off his shirt, Dave realised he was a she. As she took of her hat, a jumble of red locks tumbled down below her shoulders and she ran her fingers through it, loosening it from her scalp.

  It all fell into place. Shane was Bulldust’s daughter! That’s why she was never put in any dangerous positions and the men all treated her with a reverence not shown towards anyone else.

  Dave knew he should get out of here quickly, but his feet were glued to the ground.
He watched her take off her black bra and knickers and stretch her hands above her head before bending over and dipping her hands in the trough. It had been so long since he’d seen a woman’s body, Dave felt his mouth go dry and the old familiar stirring begin.

  Playing with Bulldust’s daughter would be a disaster. Not only a disaster, the old Dave reminded himself. You’re married.

  Even so, he couldn’t take his eyes from her.

  Shane put her leg on the edge of the trough and dipped the soap in, gliding it up her leg, higher and higher and higher.

  Dave thought he might groan out loud, until he felt a heavy hand on his shoulder.

  ‘I like you, but not that much. Stay the fuck away from my daughter.’

  Chapter 29

  Dave threw the last of the swags in the back and looked around to make sure nothing had been forgotten.

  Shane and Bulldust were strapping the motorbikes onto the large trailer and George was chaining the dogs on the back of his vehicle.

  ‘Anyone want a last coffee?’ Dave yelled. ‘I’m about to pack it up all up.’

  Shane glanced at him and curled her lips into a half-smile, half-pout. She shook her head.

  They’d been going since before daybreak, loading the calves on the truck. Larry had told him that he was carting the calves to another part of the station for the owners.

  ‘They’ve got a second property about fifty k from here. It’s southern and so gets just a bit more rain. They don’t stock it again after they’ve sold all the calves that have grown out, just let the feed grow for next season’s calves.’

  ‘What about the heifers? They wouldn’t sell them, would they? Replacement stock and all that?’

  ‘We muster that place for them too; split the sexes and they sell the steers and heifers that don’t fit their structure criteria, you know, bad legs, udders and so on. I’ll cart them to the saleyards and then come back and get the heifers they’re keeping and bring ’em back up here.’

  ‘Sounds like double handling to me.’

  ‘It is, but it’s worth it because the heifers grow to their full potential quicker.’

  ‘Oh yeah. Good plan. Just a lot of work.’

  ‘We don’t mind. More money in our kitty!’

  ‘Sure thing.’

  Dave was about to put the campfire out, unless he needed to boil the billy once more. After his run-in with Bulldust last night he’d tried to make himself scarce, but then he’d been told he was going to be kitchen bitch for the night. He’d cooked steak, eggs, onions and potatoes and buttered a whole load of bread. It hadn’t taken long before it had all disappeared and everyone was ready for their swags.

  Dave had noticed that Bulldust pulled his swag close to Shane’s, and he had made sure to take his to the other edge of the group. He wasn’t getting involved with anything like that.

  No one answered his call about the coffee, so he grabbed up the billy and kicked dirt over the fire. The smoke billowed into the air as the dirt hit the glowing coals, then petered out to a thin stream.

  Opening up the steel tuckerbox on the back of Bulldust’s ute, he put the billy in and made sure it was fastened properly so the dust couldn’t leak in when they got on the road.

  ‘Good job, boys,’ Bulldust said as they all came together. ‘Another one done and dusted. Let’s head back to the depot. George, you take Shane. I’m going to wait here until Chris gets off the ground and is heading back.’ He turned to Dave. ‘And you can come with me.’ His voice sounded ominous to Dave, but if it did to anyone else, they didn’t react.

  He nodded.

  ‘Come on then, girl,’ George said. ‘Let’s get going. I want to get back to see my Margs!’

  Shane laughed and bumped him in the shoulder. ‘You and your Margs, what a love story!’

  Dave saw the side glance she gave him and the way Bulldust’s lips tightened. He had to stop this right now.

  ‘Don’t believe in love stories,’ he said. ‘Or love. Figment of everyone’s imagination.’

  Bulldust seem to relax a little.

  Dave wondered how he could’ve ever taken Shane for a bloke. Even with her hair up underneath her hat, her face was fine and feminine. Still, she’d worn a handkerchief over it all of yesterday. Her shirt was a man’s, as were her jeans, and neither of them gave her body the appreciation women’s clothes would have. Her body, despite being a little heavy, was curvaceous and up close she was all woman.

  ‘Roll out, boys,’ Bulldust said. ‘And girl.’

  ‘Come on,’ Shane said. ‘Let’s get you back to your Margs!’

  They climbed in the ute towing the bikes and headed off slowly. Dave hoped they made it back into town without any hiccups. The road in had been rough enough to cause a tyre to pinch a tube or something to shake loose.

  Chris pumped the last of the fuel into the helicopter, and Dave and Bulldust stood together as it rose slowly into the air. The whomp, whomp, whomp of the chopper sent the bullocks, still in the holding paddock, running to the fence line uncertainly.

  ‘We’ll call into the homestead on the way,’ Bulldust said. ‘Let them know the bullocks are ready to be loaded.’

  Dave nodded and climbed into the ute, wondering what the trip would hold.

  The corrugations made it difficult to converse so Dave stayed quiet and Bulldust didn’t seem interested in talking anyway. Instead, Dave looked out the window at the passing land. It had similarities to the country around Barrabine, but it was a lot rockier. Some of the boulders were the size of a ute! The vegetation was different but the same colour—a bleached gold—and Dave felt very much at home here. He wondered if that was a bad thing.

  ‘You stay here,’ Bulldust said as he pulled up at the homestead half an hour later.

  He nodded and watched Bulldust get out and go into the shed where there was a man standing waiting. They walked to the house together and, not five minutes later, Bulldust was out on the verandah, shaking the man’s hand and holding what looked like a cheque.

  ‘Happy customer,’ he said when he got back into the ute. He opened the diary that was on the dash and put the cheque inside. ‘Payday coming up.’

  ‘I like paydays,’ Dave said, thinking about the bike back at the mechanic’s.

  ‘Don’t we all.’

  They drove in silence for a bit longer. Dave noticed that Bulldust was continually scratching at his head and running his hands over his mouth as if he were agitated. He decided to tackle the problem head on.

  ‘Mate, I’m not into your daughter. I’m grateful you gave me a job. I’m not going to bugger it up.’

  Bulldust glanced at him, both hands on the steering wheel. ‘Glad to hear it. No one touches my daughter.’

  ‘Dunno what it’s like to have one, but I guess you’re a bit protective.’

  ‘She’s the only thing I love in the world.’

  Surprised that Bulldust had let his guard down, Dave looked over, wondering what he could give back. That was how it worked. Quid pro quo.

  ‘I loved my grandfather like that,’ he said. ‘Silly bastard went and died on me.’

  Bulldust cracked a smile. ‘We’re all going to get a go at that!’

  ‘True.’

  They turned onto the bitumen and the rattling of the ute stopped, the unexpected silence making it much easier to talk.

  ‘Is that why you wanted me in here?’ Dave asked. ‘To warn me off again?’

  ‘Part of it.’

  ‘And the other part?’

  Dave looked out the window so as to give Bulldust more time.

  ‘Check that out,’ Bulldust said, and Dave looked to where he was pointing. A huge yellow dog was standing on the side of the road, almost twice the size of the average kelpie.

  ‘Dingo,’ Dave said. ‘Beautiful animal if they weren’t so mean.’

  ‘I like to think of myself as a dingo,’ Bulldust said reflectively. ‘You know, out in the open, but with a dark side. Can slink through the night without anyone notici
ng.’

  ‘Poetic.’

  ‘Not really.’ Bulldust suddenly changed tack. ‘When’s your court date?’

  ‘Two weeks.’

  ‘What have they got you on?’

  ‘A heap of shit, that’s what. I didn’t do what they’re saying but it’ll be easier to plead guilty and get it out of the way. Cops always win. Fucking hate ’em.’

  ‘You might get a fine if you plead guilty.’

  ‘Yeah.’

  ‘Got the money?’

  ‘Depends on how much you pay for this muster.’

  Bulldust didn’t answer and Dave could tell he was weighing things up. He looked out the window again.

  ‘That move you pulled yesterday to help Larry. That was pretty gutsy.’

  Dave shrugged.

  ‘Reminded me of when I was younger. Fearless and stupid.’

  Dave harrumphed. ‘Stupid?’

  ‘Not saying you shouldn’t have done it, but it was dangerous.’

  ‘I’d like to think you’d do it for me if I was in that situation.’

  ‘No guarantees.’

  ‘Cheers.’

  ‘Mustering is a hazardous sport. Lot of people get hurt or die doing it.’ He pulled up his shirt sleeve and showed Dave a scar that ran from his wrist to his upper arm.

  Dave didn’t say anything.

  ‘Piece of wire when I fell off a bike. I thought it was going to be the cow that killed me, pawing over me, snorting and butting her head into my legs. But she left me alone through some fucking miracle. Don’t know why she stopped, but thank god she did. I fell on a fence and ripped my arm open. Bled like a bastard and then it got infected.’

  Dave still didn’t say anything.

  ‘Are you willing to take some risks?’

  ‘Thought I’d proved that.’

  ‘And you need some extra money?’

  ‘Doesn’t everyone?’

  ‘I do.’

  ‘And just how would I be earning this extra money?’ Dave asked.

  Bulldust glanced over at Dave before saying, ‘Extracurricular activities. You gotta understand the way life is up here, Dave. There’re big tracks of land. Some are privately owned, others are owned by corporations and have managers on them. Some managers are good and some aren’t. I like to take advantage of the properties that aren’t managed well.’