by J Hoffman
Natalee stared at him in horror for a moment, but then shook her head. She turned back around and adjusting herself and her mirror back to its normal position. “So that’s actually why you got called to the principals’ office?”
Jonah shrugged, “Yeah, maybe that was it.”
“I would say violence is not the answer, but I do not want to be a hypocrite. I will say, however, that you should not automatically resort to violence. I’m not condoning what you did, but what I did was unacceptable as well. I want you to know and understand that.”
Jonah nodded, “Am I grounded?”
Natalee thought for a moment, sucking her teeth, “No, not this time.”
Jonah grinned, “Thanks, Mom.”
She put the car back in drive and headed toward home, “Really? Four million views?”
Jonah shrugged, “Probably more by now, I’ll check when we get home.”
When they pulled into the driveway, there was an officer on the porch seemingly waiting for someone to answer the door. He watched them pull into the garage and met them at the door. “Good afternoon, ma’am.”
“Hi officer, is there something wrong?” Natalie tucked her purse under her arm and laid her arm around Jonah’s shoulders protectively.
“We received a complaint today about an assault.” The officer tucked his thumbs into the belt loops of his uniform.
“An assault?” She gasped.
“Yes ma’am, are you Natalee Denver?” He adjusted his weight from one foot to the other.
“I am, yes, bu-”
The officer cut her off, “We would like for you to come down to the station and file a report. Apparently, you broke Rachel Trier’s nose today and she has been in the hospital all afternoon.”
She glanced at Jonah, “So she probably doesn’t know about her son’s hand.”
“Her what, ma’am?”
“If she’s pressing charges on me, I’d like to press charges on her son for assaulting my son two weeks ago. He had to get thirteen stitches,” she contested.
“And they shaved my head!”
“And they shaved his head,” Natalee shook her own head in disgust.
The officer sighed and his hands fell from his waist. “We saw the video, Mrs. Denver. If there was an assault prior to this, you should include it in your statement and file your charges against her before you submit your statement for this allegation. You don’t need to come down to the station right now, but we would like you to come at your earliest convenience. Here’s my card, if you have any questions, or need any assistance.” He pulled a card out of the pocket on the cover of a small notebook.
Natalee took it from him and glanced over the information. “Thank you, Officer… Ponege. I will try to make arrangements to come in within the next twenty-four hours, is that okay?”
“That should be fine, ma’am. Thank you,” the officer turned to walk away but paused. “You’ve got a mean right hook, Mrs. Denver.” He tipped his hat and headed to his cruiser parked on the road.
Natalee gaped, looking at Jonah, “Oh my God did he really just say that?”
“I told you, you’re famous Mom!”
“Okay, let’s go see how many views I have now.”
They ran into the house and Natalee retrieved her laptop she typically hid under the couch in the living room. She gave Jonah control of the computer and flipped on the television, trying to find something to drown out the quietness of the house. Ever since Svetlana left, the house had seemed too quiet sometimes.
“You’re over seven million views now!” Jonah squealed.
“What?!” She leaned over and peered at the screen, “Where do you see that?”
“Right here,” he pointed to the bottom of the video, and sure enough, the video of her getting justice for her son had been watched seven million, four hundred thirty-three thousand, six hundred and twenty-two… twenty-three… twenty-four times, and still counting.
Natalee stared in horror, pride quickly growing inside her. “This is too much.”
“This is awesome,” Jonah started scrolling through the comments. “‘She makes mom’ing look easy.’ ‘I wish I was that much of a badass with a messy bun.’ ‘Where’d she get that swing from? Find me her trainer.’” He kept scrolling, finding endless comments about how amazing Natalee was and how much of waste of space Rachel was. After a while, Natalee insisted that Jonah put the computer away and stop watching the view counter going up.
Fourteen
Judah picked up a second shift to be able to stay home a little longer the following weekend, so she prepared dinner for just the two of them. After they were both full, showered, and in bed, Natalee climbed onto Judah’s side and cuddled his pillow like she did every night she slept alone.
She grabbed the remote from his bedside table and flipped through a few channels until she settled on a documentary about the Spanish Inquisition. She was just about to drift into a heavy sleep before her phone rang loudly and jolted her out of her sleepiness. Judah’s name was glowing across the screen. She cringed from the brightness but put the phone to her ear and muttered sleepily, “Hey babe.”
“Turn on the Daniel Conners show.”
“What?” She questioned strangely.
“Hurry up, turn it on,” he urged.
“Okay, okay.” She felt around for a moment before she found the remote and clicked through a few channels until she found it, “Okay I’m watching. Why am I watching?”
“Just watch.”
She pushed herself up and leaned against the headboard, keeping the phone to her ear. The two of them sat quietly on the phone, watching the same show together, thousands of miles apart. It only took a few moments before Natalee realized why he was so persistent about her tuning in.
“Today in a small town in Illinois,” the late-night talk show hosts boomed from behind his oversized desk. “Just outside of Chicago, a group of teenagers witnessed a bear wreaking havoc in a coffee shop… A momma bear, that is. Here’s the clip.”
It cut to Natalee’s video and she groaned, “Oh my God, no.”
“This is like the third time I’ve heard about this since I landed forty-five minutes ago, Natty. What the fuck?” He chuckled.
“Her son is the one who pushed Jonah.”
“No shit? How did you find that out?” She could hear as he adjusted himself on his bed, most likely sitting up.
“One of the other mom’s made a comment about it as I was walking away. That’s why I turned around and punched her.”
“Wow, I thought you were just being a bitch.”
Natalee gasped and giggled, “No! That is not what I was doing.”
“Well, that’s entirely justified then. But seriously, they’re talking about you everywhere. It’s pretty incredible.”
“Jonah said I’ve gone viral and have over seven million views,” she beamed.
“Yeah, I pulled it up on my phone to check out the comments. Did you see the one that said ‘Mu-mom-ad Ali’?.”
Natalee giggled until she snorted. “No, that’s a good one.”
“It was my favorite.”
“That might be my new favorite, too.”
“Well, I love you. I just wanted you to know you’re famous. I go to work for twenty-four hours and my wife gets famous for assaulting someone.”
“I love you more, babe. And don’t worry, it’ll die down fast enough. She did press charges, though. So, I’m pressing charges on her son. The cop seemed pretty cool about it.”
“Seriously? That was dumb on her part.”
“She probably thinks she can get us to pay the hospital bills for her broken nose.”
“Well, maybe she can pay the hospital bills for his stitches then because I’m sure thirteen stitches are more expensive than a broken nose. They can’t even do anything for a broken nose really.”
“It was fake anyway, it probably just fell off,” Natalee smirked. Judah burst into full, deep laughter on the other end of the phone which le
d Natalee into a laughing fit. The two of them laughed and joked some more about the situation, giving it a lighter side, before disconnecting for the evening.
It took a few days for the hype to die down over her video, but she took that time to file her charges, submit a complaint, and contact their lawyer to discuss the retainer fee for both situations. Soon after Natalee was no longer the talk of the internet, Jonah came home, rushing through the house like a madman. Immediately, he began digging through boxes in his closet and then headed to the basement to look through their cupboards and storage rooms.
“Whoa, buddy, what’s going on here?” Natalee followed him around the house curiously.
“There’s a new kid at school and he wants to play baseball and I don’t know where my baseball mitt is.”
Natalee raised an eyebrow, “Do you even have one?”
“I did, a long time ago.”
“Well, it’s probably gone now.”
“It can’t be,” he started searching more feverishly.
“What is up with this new kid? Why do you have to play baseball? Can’t you just play basketball or something?” She nudged a ball next to her foot and it rolled over to Jonah, bumping him in the leg.
“Because he said it’s his favorite sport and I don’t have a favorite sport, so I have nothing to go off of. So, I’m going to play catch with him until we’re friends.”
Natalee grinned at his innocence, “That’s a good way to build a friendship if I’ve ever heard one.”
“Yeah, thanks. So where is my glove?”
Natalee shrugged, “I’d check the garage.”
Jonah rushed past her and bolted up the stairs. She could hear his feet pounding against the floor as he crossed the house. Just before she reached the top of the basement steps, she could hear him cheering from the garage. She assumed that meant he had found a glove or at least something he could play with.
Natalee plopped down on the couch and propped her feet up, enjoying the scent of that night’s roast simmering in the slow cooker. She thought Jonah was headed to the park at the end of their road, but instead, she heard a group of boys talking just outside the living room window. She leaned over closer to the window, trying to make out what was going on without seeming like she was eavesdropping.
“Are we just playing in the backyard?”
“No, there’s a park like four blocks that way,” Jonah responded.
“Aw come on, man. That’s too far. Let’s just play in the yard,” the new kid responded.
“No, my mom always said to play ball at the park.”
“It’ll be alright man. Here, catch!”
“No, du-” if Jonah didn’t stop speaking, his voice was just drowned out by the sound of shattering glass. The ball flew through the living room window, less than a foot from Natalee’s face. Glass sprinkled across the floor in front of her. She screamed and lifted her feet to avoid the tiny glass shards.
“Oh, shit…” the new kid muttered. “Dude you were supposed to catch it!”
“I said no!” Jonah ran to the window, panicked.
“JONAH!” Natalee screeched.
“I’m so sorry! That wasn’t supposed to happen!” He ran through the front door to see the damage from the inside.
“Who the hell is out there?”
“My name is Gage, ma’am. Sorry about your window.” A dusty blonde-haired green-eyed boy with freckles sprinkled across his nose and cheeks peered through the window back at her.
She stared at him in both irritation and appreciation, “Well, thank you, Gage, but I’m going to need to speak with your mother.”
“I’ll go get her!” He turned and bolted through their yard.
“No, wait! I wanted to go with you!” She yelled his name, but he was already a couple driveways away. “Man, he is fast.”
“I’m so sorry, Mom.”
“Do you know where he lives?”
Jonah shook his head quickly, causing Natalee to groan with frustration, “Seriously?”
“Seriously. He just started school here today. He said he played baseball at his old school and wanted some friends.”
“So, you just bring a strange kid over here without asking his mom and let him throw a baseball in the yard?”
“He said he texted her!”
Natalee rolled her eyes, “Why on Earth would you invite a kid over the first day you met him?”
“I don’t know, Mom! He asked me to be his friend in gym class.”
Natalee sighed again and walked into the kitchen to grab a few cleaning supplies. While she was collecting the broom and dustpan there was a knock at the front door. She bolted upright as Jonah answered it.
“Oh, hey man. You came back.”
“Well, yeah I went to get my mom.”
“Are you Jonah? Where’s your mom, buddy?”
“She’s in the kitchen,” he stepped aside and motioned for her to come in. Natalee heard footsteps approaching her and she panicked. She looked around for something to grab onto other than the broom. Without looking, she grabbed a bottle from the pantry and turned just in time to see her enter.
“Oh my God, I’m in the right place!” Gage’s mom joked loudly, pointing at the bottle.
Natalee looked down and realized she was holding a bottle of red wine. She glanced at the ceiling. Of course, I grabbed alcohol.
She prayed the blushing in her cheeks would disappear, but it felt as if her cheeks were as red as the wine in her hand. She forced a smile and set it on the counter, “Sorry, been a long day.”
She nodded as she plopped down on the breakfast bar stool and she slid her coffee thermos toward Natalee, “I feel ya, girl. I single-handedly moved a four-bedroom house while all these little shits were in school today and their father was at work.”
Natalee frowned, “You should’ve saved it for when you would have someone to help you!”
She pointed to the cup, “Fill ‘er up. I would’ve but five kids need clothes and toothbrushes and writing utensils for homework, et cetera, et cetera.”
Natalee popped the top off and glanced in her cup before pouring it in. “Are you sure? It looks like there’s some juice in here.”
“Nah, that’s more wine. So, what happened? I heard there was a broken window?”
Natalee nodded as she screwed the cap back onto her bottle. “Yeah, I guess they wanted to play baseball, but Gage didn’t want to go down to the park and Jonah missed the ball when Gage threw it. Enter, my window.”
His mom nodded again and reached into her purse. “What’s the size of the window? I can have it replaced by tomorrow afternoon if that’s okay? GAGE!” She yelled for him and he quickly entered the kitchen.
“Yeah, Mom?”
“Go get the stuff for the window, have it done in ten minutes.”
“Yes ma’am,” he turned and ran back through the front door.
“Man, he is fast,” Natalee reiterated.
“He is. He was the fastest kid in his old school. Working on being the fastest in this one already.”
“What… stuff for the window?”
“Cardboard and decorative duct tape,” she could sense the confusion in how nonchalantly she spoke, so she continued. “This happened at least six times in our old neighborhood. Baseball is his life. He broke the same window three times at our old house. Eventually, I just boarded it up for good. Wasn’t worth it to keep replacing.”
Natalee raised her eyebrows, “Wow… Well then.”
She nodded in agreement, sipping from her cup, “You’re not having any?”
Natalee shook her head, “No I have to drive later. What was your name again?”
“Oh shit, I’m sorry! I’m Liz, what’s your name?”
“Natalee. Denver.”
Liz nodded, “Nice, nice to meet you, Nat.” She held her hand out in a peace offering and Natalee took it, shaking her hand.
“So, is tomorrow good?”
“Yeah,” Natalee cleared her throat. “Yeah, that’
s fine. I’m sure we’ll manage until then. Thank you.”
“No problem. Thanks for not flipping out on my kid. He just wants to play baseball, ya know?”
Natalee nodded, not really knowing how she felt, but appreciative of the action of her new neighbor.
“So,” Liz continued. “What’s it like around here? Are there a bunch of shitty moms with a bunch of cosmetic surgery driving their SUVs that couldn’t handle driving through a real mud puddle?”
Natalee snorted and nodded, “Uh, yeah that pretty much sums it up.”
“Ah, great,” Liz rolled her eyes dramatically. “I knew my husband was going to set us up in a place we didn’t fit in.”
“What do you mean? You didn’t have a choice?”
“No, he serves in the military. He’s gone most of the time. It’s like he has this jacked up goal to put a baby in me every time he’s on leave.”
“That’s actually… Pretty incredible timing if you have five kids.”
She threw her head back and let an explosive laugh bubble up from deep within her. “I know right? Man’s got an aim like no other. Should’ve been a damn sniper,” she sipped from her cup again.
“My husband’s a pilot,” Natalee offered. “So, he’s gone a lot, too. Not that much, though. He’s home every couple days, but that’s about it.”
“Oh, so you understand the struggle.”
Natalee nodded, “Yeah, as far as that goes.”
“How many kids do you have? I only saw the one.”
“He’s the only one,” Natalee smiled.
“Oh, whoa. I haven’t had a mom-of-one friend since college.”
Natalee raised an eyebrow, “I’m sorry?”
“Oh no, I’m sorry. I wasn’t trying to offend you or anything, I’ve just never had that one single baby experience. My first pregnancy was twins.”
“Oh man, I bet twins are hard.”
Her eyes grew wide as she nodded, taking another sip from her cup. “They’re a bitch of their own level if I’m being honest.”
The two of them continued to talk as Gage and Jonah patched up the window, then cleaned up all the shattered glass that glittered across the living room. Once they were done, they took their baseball gloves and a bat down to the park to play where they should’ve played, to begin with.