It’s done! I type.
Barely a minute later, Mia responds: Holy shit! You actually got it done? Send me a copy and come visit ASAP!
Can’t I relax? My editor has been a hard ass.
Your editor is the tits. Now get your ass here. Chop chop.
Rolling my eyes, I snort: Fineeee. See you soon.
Glancing over at Georgie, guilt crushes my happiness. I can’t leave him here like this by himself, can I? Before, I wouldn’t have worried so much about leaving Georgie alone, but when he looks at me with those forlorn eyes, I cave. ‘Pushovers R Us’.
Breaking up a few more treats, I drop them inside his bowl, the metal ringing with each one, before fluffing his makeshift pillow, and throwing the television onto Paw Patrol. That should keep him occupied for a few hours.
Opening up my email, I send over my manuscript to Mia before grabbing one of the USBs to take with me. Biting my lip, I glance back at Georgie, checking again that he’s okay. He’ll be fine. Stop panicking. Grab your shit and go.
Lowering the brightness of the lights in the living room, I leave Georgie behind, hurrying to the elevator. I can’t believe it’s finally done! Mia is going to eat her editorial words when she reads my new and improved manuscript.
I snicker when I hear the ding, I quickly step inside, smacking the ground floor button. My gaze flicks to my door, and then to Garrett’s.
We may not have spent much physical time together since Georgie’s surgery, with him being busy on the launch of his company’s new segment and me with Georgie and my manuscript, but we call each other every night at eight, regardless of what we’re doing.
A soft smile plays across my lips. I’ll call him after I see Mia and see if he can do a celebratory lunch. Stepping out of the elevator and waving to the security guard, I make my way out of the building, spotting my ride.
The trip to Mia’s office isn’t too far from my building, but I prefer to take a car when I have important meetings scheduled, or if there’s a chance it will rain. Before long, soft pattering on the roof of the car confirms my choice as the right one. Pulling up to the building, I rush out, pulling my jacket over my head to cover my hair.
“Hiya, Ellie! Didn’t walk today?”
“Not today, Doris! Decided to be luxurious. Guess it paid off!”
She cackles. Doris is a firecracker and is the greatest receptionist and assistant that Mia could have. She’s also sixty-seven, possibly a baker—though I suspect she’s more like the evil witch in the forest, luring her victims with treats, rather than cooking them. I’ve mentioned to Mia that I want to follow her one day; see if she inspires any fairytale-like stories, but she put her foot down hard on that one.
“Is Mia free?”
Doris rolls her blue shadow-covered eyes. “Do you honestly think after her screeches about your manuscript finally being finished that she would dare schedule anything?” She scoffs, her wild, silver hair flying around her face. “Go on back, love. She’s expecting you.”
“Thanks. And I love your outfit today. It’s very… gypsy chic.” Wearing a colorful scarf through her hair, she looks like she belongs at palm reading circuit, not an office. But that’s Mia’s fault for saying she can wear whatever she wants.
“Thanks, sweetie. Now scoot. I have people to call and a hot guard to watch.” She wiggles her eyebrows at me and I can’t help but laugh with her.
“For the love of all that is holy, please don’t fake breaking a hip again. You scared ten years of my life off me.”
“You would too if you were my age and had that hunk of muscle to pick you up. If I were younger—”
“Doris!”
“I was going to say I would get his number, you naughty little minx.” But the smirk on her face gives her true intentions away.
“Yeah, right. I’ll believe that the day you wear something beige. And besides, you’d eat that poor guy alive.”
“I would, wouldn’t I?” Doris waggles her eyebrows at me.
“I better head in.” I knock on Mia’s door.
“I’m not here!”
“I can smell the chocolate bar from here, you weirdo. And who yells, ‘I’m not here!’?”
Mia’s chair whips around as I close the door behind me, and I stifle a laugh at the chocolate smeared across her face. Pulling out a wipe from my sundae-themed purse, courtesy of Katie, I hand it to Mia, gesturing to her cheeks before falling into one of the chairs across from her.
“Enjoying yourself?”
“I can’t believe you!”
My eyes pinch together as I frown. “What the hell are you talking about?”
“You’ve been holding back on me!”
I raise an eyebrow, waiting for her to go on. Picking up the manuscript she was reading, Mia waves it in my direction, the pages rustling at the force. “This!”
“What about it?”
“This is literally the best book you’ve written. Obviously we have some revising and editing to do… But! The story is funny, the characters are relatable and their romance is… ugh.”
“Is ‘ugh’ a bad thing or a good thing?”
Mia throws the manuscript down on the desk, staring at me through her cat-eye glasses. “It’s good. Damn good, actually. The teaser reading in four weeks will be a huge success. I really think this book is it, Ellie. This is the kind of stuff you were meant to write.”
Giddiness pulses through my body at her words, knowing Mia truly means them. “I’ve spent so long working on this book that I haven’t really had a life outside of it… and Georgie.”
“Now, I know we haven’t talked about this in a long time, but are you going to be writing under your real name anytime soon?”
The giddiness is suddenly crushed under the weight of an anvil. The whole point of writing under a pen name is so that I don’t have to reveal myself. I’m not the person that my readers think I am. I’m not ready to handle their disappointment.
“No.”
“Okay. Just remember that you need to come to the event as Pen Name and not Eleanor Reid.”
“This isn’t my first rodeo, Mia.” Sighing, I slump back in my chair, tapping my fingernails on the armrest. But the anxiety and vomit-inducing fear is always the same.
“Good. Have you decided which chapter you want to read? I’m thinking you should read one of the love-hate ones from the beginning. Tease the readers with the promise of what they know will happen, but will want to read about.”
“Yeah. I’m thinking so.”
“Do you want to know what that scene reminds me of, though?”
“If it’s gross, I don’t want to hear it.”
“No. It reminds me of you and Garrett. You’ve spent years as enemies, then you come together in an inferno of passion, and boom: fireworks and violins.”
“I don’t think it happened quite like that.”
Mia arches her eyebrow, staring me down.
“Okay. Fine. You may be right. But…” Over the past couple of months, I’ve gotten to know him. Not everything, but enough for me to want more. Of him. Of us.
“But?”
“I don’t think he wants anything more than what we have now.”
“Have you asked him?”
“No.”
“Have you talked about the future?”
“No.”
“Have you told him what you want?”
“No.”
“Do you want a future with him?” Mia raises her eyebrow with a cocky smile on her face as an exasperated sigh slips from my lips.
“Yes, Mia! I want a future with him. He’s smart, and funny—and also a bit of an ass—but he makes me feel whole. And wanted. And loved. But what can I offer him? Sleepless nights of having to wake me from night terrors? Dealing with my panic attacks and fear of the dark? Always having to tiptoe around me?” I run my hands through my hair and whisper, “Someone like him, deserves someone better.”
I look to Mia, and her lips pulling in a small smile. “I thin
k you should ask him what he wants.”
“What if he says no?”
“What if he says yes, Ellie? What have you got to lose? Absolutely nothing. If you’re tearing yourself apart this much as a way of avoiding your feelings, then maybe you need to get everything out in the open. If he says no, you keep moving forward. If he says yes, you keep moving forward—with him.”
Wide-eyed, I sit back in my chair, absorbing Mia’s words. Worry and hope war within me, swirling together. What if he says no? What if he says yes? Hope bursts through the jumble of emotions, my heart rate picking up. I hope he says yes.
“When did you get so smart?”
Mia laughs, shrugging her shoulders. “After reading hundreds of romance books, I think I have a few words of wisdom waiting to be shared.” I giggle, then Mia’s eyes lock onto mine. “Are you going to tell Garrett you love him?”
Sputtering, I sit up in my chair. “I do not!”
“Are you sure about that?” Mia folds her hands on her desk, her eyebrow quirking along with her smug grin.
This is what I get for going against Mia. I’ll never learn. “No… How do you tell someone that you love them?”
“Usually you just say ‘I love you’. Simple, and to the point.”
“Wow. Thanks for that really insightful piece of information. Who’d have thought it?”
Mia snorts, laughing as she sits back in her chair.
“I meant, do you do something special?” I ask. “Say it after a wild night? Are there rules for when and where to say this kind of thing?”
“Say it when it feels right. When you feel like you can’t contain it and you have to let it come out, or else it will eat you from the inside.”
“That is both profound and slightly horrifying.”
Mia shrugs, taking another bite of her chocolate. “I’ve loved, and I’ve lost. I’ve broken hearts, and I’ve been heart broken. I’ve felt loved, and I’ve felt utterly alone. Maybe I’m cynical at times, but I think that if you have a shot, take it. Ellie.”
I chew on my lip, contemplating Mia’s words. After everything that we’ve been through, Mia still has hope that she’ll find someone for her. And for Jake. So why can’t I?
Pulling out my phone, I dial Garrett’s number and press it to my ear.
“Hey, Sweetheart.”
“Do you eat?”
Mia slaps her forehead.
“Ah… yes? You’ve seen me eat before.”
“Lunch?”
“Yes, Ellie. I eat lunch,” he chuckles, his voice questioning. He must think I’m a nutcase. What writer can’t form proper sentences? Oh wait, this one. Mia encourages me to keep going with a dramatic flourish of her hands.
Pushing down the humiliation burning in my stomach, I grip the phone tightly as I stare out Mia’s office window. “Do you want to go and have lunch with me?”
“Ah, I… I can’t leave the office right now,” he says, and my smile falls. “But if you want, you can stop by, and we can eat lunch here?” he adds quickly, saving my drooping expression.
“Yes! I mean… yeah. That’s cool. Groovy man.” I throw my head back, staring at the ceiling. Why me? “How does Thai food sound?”
“Ellie, are you okay? You’re not being kidnapped or anything?”
“No. Please just answer the question before I dig myself a deeper hole.”
“Thai food sounds fantastic, Ellie.” Garrett’s laugh warms me.
“Thirty minutes?”
“Perfect. I’ll let my assistant know you’re coming by.”
“Okay. Bye.”
Garrett’s laugh rings through the room as I end the call, heat flushing my face.
“That was…” Mia blinks, speaking quietly. “I don’t even know how to describe that.”
“Fuck you—”
“But if he can deal with your crazy ass, he’s a keeper. You do realize you never said you were bringing the food… You do know that, right?”
Mother fucker. Dialing Garrett’s number, I press my phone to my ear.
“Ellie? What—”
“I’m bringing the food. I’ll place the order. Same as last time. Okay, bye!” Quickly hanging up the phone, I throw it on Mia’s desk. I swear it’s the phone that’s making me sound crazy. Right? Right.
It vibrates against Mia’s desk. Garrett’s name pops up on the screen. “You answer it!”
“He’s your boyfriend.”
“Tell him I’m in the bathroom.”
“You want me to tell your boyfriend that you’re peeing?”
“Yes. I don’t care. Just answer it. Please.”
Rolling her eyes, Mia picks up the phone. “Hey, Garrett… No, she’s fine. She just really had to use the ladies’ room and didn’t want you to order food as well… Yes, I’m sure she’s okay. She does have some big news to tell you, though.” Mia winks at me. What the hell?!
“Sure, I’ll let her know. Okay, see ya!” She tosses my phone back on her desk, shaking her head. “You really need to work on your phone skills. The poor guy wasn’t sure if you were using code to signal being kidnapped.”
“Why would I use code? Wouldn’t I just say, ‘I’m being kidnapped?’”
“I don’t know, but you seriously need to work on that.”
“Maybe… probably.”
Taking my phone from her desk, I dial the Thai place not too far from us and order enough spicy shrimp and our favorites to feed an entire army. At least if Garrett doesn’t feel the same way, I’ll have enough food to hole up in my apartment for a week.
“Let me call Katie in. She’s been down in her lair ever since you sent over the manuscript. Says she’s got the perfect cover for you, and that if anyone disturbs her, she’ll pray the ground swallows them hole.”
I giggle, picturing Katie saying exactly that. “That’s a little dramatic for Katie, isn’t it?”
“You know how she gets with book covers. As soon as inspiration strikes, she’ll fight tooth and nail to keep working at it until it’s done.”
Pressing the intercom button on her phone, Mia grins. “Katie? Mia’s here. You want to come out and say hi?”
The phone crackles for a beat. “Hi, Ellie. Working. Chat soon.”
Mia and I both giggle at the pleasant irritation in her voice. Mia leans forward: “Ellie ordered your favorite. Extra spicy firecracker shrimp.”
The line crackles again. “I’ll be there in two.”
Releasing the button, grins stretch across our faces. Food is the only way to bring Katie out of work-mode. Can’t blame her.
We were still laughing when Katie burst through the door, her pale-blue rockabilly dress swirling around her.
“What’s so funny?” Closing the door, she scans the room, her shoulders slumping. She huffs and takes a seat next to me, eyeing the clock on Mia’s desk with such venom that I almost feel sorry for it.
“Katie, never change. Please,” Mia snorts as she shakes her head with a wide smile.
“You promised food. Actually! You promised firecracker shrimp, and unless my peepers are deceiving me, I’m not seeing any.”
“Your peepers?”
“It should be here soon you whack job,” Mia interrupts me. “And you didn’t even hear the big news! Ellie’s telling Garrett she loves him at lunch.”
Katie whips her head in my direction, her lips pinching slightly. “Why didn’t you tell me?”
“Well, you weren’t here when we were discussing Ellie’s book, which you should have been.” Mia glares a little at Katie, who has enough sense to look somewhat contrite. “And she only just decided to woman up, plop on her big girl panties and tell him.”
“Wait, you wear panties now?”
Mia and Katie snicker.
“Oh, fuck you guys. It was one week in college and I had too many assignments to bother washing. You know that.”
“When I hear birds flapping, I still think it’s Ellie running to catch up to us.” Mia howls with laughter, slapping her desk as Katie
hunches over in her chair, gripping the armrests so tightly her knuckles turn white.
“You guys are seriously the worst friends—ever.” But I can’t help by laugh along with them.
“I think I walked in on either the right moment or the wrong one.”
Standing in the doorway, Doris’ smile stretches wide across her face as she ushers the poor delivery boy into the room, directing him toward the meeting table in the corner.
Pulling out my purse, I hand over a generous tip—the poor kid looks like he needs a little pick me up—and begin dividing up the lunch.
“Come to momma.” Snatching the firecracker shrimp from my outstretched hands, Katie rips open the box, digging in with her fingers.
“You do realize there are chopsticks, right?” I gesture toward the stack waiting on the table.
“Hungry… shrimp… good,” she says around a mouthful of food. Cradling the container between her arm and her chest, she picks up a hand towel packet, tears it open and cleans her fingers before grabbing a pair of chopsticks and digging back in.
Packing up the rest of the order for my lunch with Garrett, giddiness dances inside me. Holy shit. I can’t believe I’m doing this. “Okay, my Uber is here. Wish me luck!” Picking up my bags, I kiss them both on the cheek and head past Doris to the waiting car.
I’m on my way, I send a quick text.
Garrett’s response comes quickly, and it makes me smile to think he was waiting. Great! I’m starving, can’t wait!
Heat tinges my cheeks, my mind whirling at the possibilities. He couldn’t possibly want to… at his work? That would be bad… right?
I type back, See you soon! And get into my waiting taxi.
Thankfully, as we pull up to Garrett’s building, the rain is light, making my trip inside easy.
“Hi! Can I help you?”
Spinning around, I spot a woman behind a desk. Her brown hair is pulled up in a bun, and her professional business suit is pressed to a point.
“Ah, yes? I’m supposed to be having lunch with Garrett. Garrett Warner.” Holding up the bags of food, I smile hesitantly.
“Oh, right! He did mention that you would be coming. First time?”
“Yeah. I mean, we’ve driven past the building but I haven’t actually been inside.”
(un) Broken Page 18