by Sammie Joyce
The corners of her mouth pulled in but she still avoided my gaze.
“Lowell,” I tried again, a note of compassion sneaking into my voice. “I’m not only your teacher, I’m your friend. If something’s going on that you’d like to discuss—”
She shook her head vehemently, her eyes widening in dismay as she finally met my stare.
“No!” she cried out with too much fierceness, only confirming that my suspicions had been right. Something was most definitely going on. “Nothing’s going on!”
The louder they yell, the more they’re hiding.
I stifled a sigh of disappointment, wondering how I was going to get through to her. It was clear that she didn’t want to talk about whatever it was that was bothering her and I couldn’t very well beat it out of her.
“What do you expect me to do about this?” I asked, finally exhaling the sigh that I’d been suppressing. “This is your senior year. You’re supposed to be putting your best foot forward. I’ve heard that you’re having trouble in some of your other classes too—”
“You guys are talking about me at staff meetings?” Lowell demanded incredulously and again, I was overwhelmed by shame.
“Lowell, we’re all very worried about you,” I said firmly, refusing to let this girl get the upper hand on this. “School is a village and we’re all here to help one another. We’re not gossiping about you behind your back, we’re trying to figure out what to do. Whatever’s going on, I can help you through it.”
Lowell stared at me for a long moment, her eyes searching my face, and I got the distinct impression that she was weighing the fastest way to end the conversation.
“Fine,” she relented, surprising me. “You’re right. If I want to get into a good college, I need to do better.”
I was stunned by her quick submission but my experience told me that she was only feeding me what I wanted to hear.
“Okay…” I said slowly. “And how are we going to do that?”
“I’ll try harder,” she said and even though she was trying to sound plaintive, I heard the edge in her voice. I wanted to tell her that I wasn’t her enemy but something in the back of my mind warned me not to push too much. I wasn’t getting anywhere this way.
For a minute, I stared at her, wanting to tell her a dozen ugly things about what happens to women who think they’ve got it all figured out, about what happens to young girls who don’t accept help where it’s offered.
Don’t you dare, Margot-Celine, I hissed at myself. I could almost envision the trauma that saying some of what I was thinking might do to Lowell—even if it was fact that I had lived myself.
“All right, Lowell,” I breathed, sinking into my chair to indicate that our chat was done. “I’ll give you an opportunity to show some improvement, but don’t forget, if you need someone to talk to—”
“Great. Thanks, Mme. Doucette.”
She was out the door before I could even finish my thought.
For a long moment, I stared after her, feeling unsettled by the way we’d left things. Her promise to me just wasn’t good enough. Something else needed to be done. I wasn’t going to let her throw away her future when I was there to help.
Before I could stop myself, I was grabbing my purse and heading out the classroom after her, my pulse quickening at the boldness of my actions. I had no right to follow her, I knew that, but my gut was telling me that I had a chance to save a young girl before she threw her life away.
As I made my way into the parking lot, I saw Lowell’s rust-colored truck backing out of the student parking and I inconspicuously jumped into the driver’s side of my Soul. My palms sweaty, I followed her, keeping a safe distance between the vehicles as I drove. I was no undercover police officer but I hoped that Lowell was so caught up in her own trouble that she wouldn’t notice me following her.
I had no idea what I was going to find or what I was going to do if I caught her doing drugs, but I knew I had to at least learn the truth. I needed to help this girl. I would figure out if she had a dealer and maybe I could turn him over to the police. I would have to weigh my options when I had a clearer picture of what was happening.
Up the mountain roads we traveled until I knew where we were heading—to my own dead-end street again, the very same place I’d seen her that morning.
Is this a new hangout for the kids? I wondered, the uneasy feeling growing in my gut. Is this a place to score drugs, two miles away from my house?
I knew of the Landing but this area wasn’t a place I was familiar with. The only thing I knew about this part of town was that it housed my own cabin and was relatively remote. A perfect place for an inconspicuous drug buy.
Driving past my place, I saw Pascal’s head in the living room window, his head cocked curiously as he saw my SUV drive past.
I’ll be back soon, I promised the dog silently as he disappeared in my rear view mirror, but Lowell was my only focus in that moment.
She had stopped at the end and I had no choice but to fall back, watching in confusion as she climbed out of the truck. From what I could see, there was no one else around, but that didn’t stop Lowell from climbing up the unmanned path further toward the top of the mountain. I either needed to get out of my car and follow her or go home.
The choice was easy. After all, I’d come that far. If I was going to follow her, I may as well go all the way.
As quietly as I could, I eased myself out of the driver’s seat and hurried after her, knowing that I wasn’t exactly dressed for a chilly, late autumn hike through the mountains. My ankle-length skirt did nothing to stop the cold wind from flying up and sending chills through my whole body, my hands and head uncovered. I never bothered with a hat until the snow really started to fly but I found myself wishing I had that day. My flat shoes were made for anything but walking and yet I just couldn’t let it go.
Of course I can’t, I thought grimly as I rushed after my student. In my mind I’m not saving Lowell—I’m saving myself.
3
Margot-Celine
I didn’t let myself delve into the psychology behind the reason why I was following a student into the wilderness that cold afternoon, my impractical shoes slipping slightly against the dirt as I struggled to keep up. A feeling of impending doom lingered over my head as I envisioned myself lying at the bottom of a ravine with a broken neck in the morning.
It would have been too easy to fall down the deep rabbit hole, the memories of the girl I’d once been dragging me into a pit of inconsolable melancholy.
No, I had to keep my eye on Lowell and do for her what no one had ever done for me—save her.
Abruptly, Lowell stopped in front of me and I froze in my tracks, thinking I’d already been discovered, despite the distance between us, but she didn’t turn and look at me.
What is she doing now? I wondered nervously. I started thinking I’d walked into an ambush, just another irrational thought to add to my already overflowing memory drive.
A weird tweeting noise filled the air and I watched in grim bemusement as she stared around at the sky.
Is she high already? I wondered, wishing I could see her face better but I didn’t dare move closer. I was already playing with fire doing what I was. Whatever Lowell had been looking for didn’t materialize and she continued forward, her long legs carrying her much faster than I could safely go without being caught.
Again, she stopped, her chin jutting upward, and she released another odd sound. Every instinct in me wanted to run and shake some sense into her, to ask her why she was throwing her life away, but somehow I managed to keep it together and simply observe the bizarre behavior. Lowell’s back seemed to stiffen, her head whipping around, and it was only then that I heard the sound of wings flapping above us.
My own eyes darted toward it and an unexpected gasp escaped my lips when I saw a huge bald eagle swooping in from the sky. Alarm shot through me as I tried to remember what I knew about the birds.
They would eat small
animals, swooping little dogs and cats right off the ground, but would they go after a full-grown teenager? The bird landed harmlessly to perch on a tree and Lowell beamed up at it like they were old friends.
This isn’t pot, I thought sadly. She’s on harder drugs than that. Look at the way she’s grinning at that bird.
“Hi!” the girl called up to the eagle. Was it my imagination or did the animal bow its head in greeting? I shivered, the chill of the air increasing as the sun slipped completely out of sight. We were in near darkness now and I wished I’d thought to bring a flashlight. Lowell didn’t seem perturbed by the darkness in the least as she ambled toward the tree and again spoke to the bald eagle, who stared unblinkingly down at her.
“Are you coming down or what?” she laughed.
Oh, Lowell, I thought sadly. You can’t talk to the birds—
To my utter shock, the bird lifted himself off the branch, his wings spanning out to fall lower until he was almost on the ground.
The gasp which fell from my lips this time was loud and seemed to fill my ears. The bird wasn’t a bird anymore but a towering man of over six feet. I didn’t know what to be more shocked by—the celestial shift or the fact that this man was completely naked. Lowell wasn’t bothered by either fact and while I tried to make sense of what I was seeing, the two spoke.
Their words didn’t make any sense to me now because I was too enveloped in confusion and awe to understand them.
It’s a trick of the light, I tried to tell myself. There was a bird who flew away and a man emerged from the bushes or something… That had to be it, didn’t it?
It didn’t matter how I spun it, I knew what I was seeing wasn’t normal. I thought of all the rumors I’d heard about the bear-man and the strange animals that supposedly lurked in the backwoods. Could they really have been based on reality? But this wasn’t a bear, this was a bird-man.
Are we inhaling toxic mushrooms? Is that what this is? Maybe this area is overrun with mushrooms and we’re both hallucinating.
But the same hallucination? Even I knew that wasn’t likely.
I moved to step forward, wanting answers to what I was witnessing, but before I could move an inch, the man morphed again, his human form falling forward into a bear bigger than any I’d ever seen in my life.
I was paralyzed, blinking as my insides turned to water, but shock turned to horror when he grabbed Lowell by the back of her shirt with his spiky, glimmering teeth.
“NO!” I screamed out, my frozen body reacting as I leapt forward. “PUT HER DOWN!”
I ran toward them, not caring what the beast would do to me. She was just a girl, a stupid, misguided girl who had fallen victim to some deranged animal. I couldn’t let him take her away. I found myself praying that I was just imagining this but I knew what I was seeing was very real.
Lowell’s eyes widened at the sight of me and the bear dropped her to the ground with an unceremonious thud.
“RUN, LOWELL!” I yelled, throwing myself between them, waving my arms to distract the animal. “RUN AWAY!”
The grizzly fell back on his hind legs, his mouth parted in fury as saliva dripped from his open mouth. I’d never been so afraid in my life, but for once, the terror wasn’t for me—it was for Lowell.
A ferocious roar escaped the beast’s lips, the sound reverberating through the trees as he loomed menacingly over me.
Out of the corner of my eye, I saw that Lowell hadn’t moved. I misunderstood her stance for shock and I whirled to drag her away, my fingers closing around the thick nylon of her coat.
“Come on!” I choked, half tripping as I tried to pull her to safety. “You need to get out of here! RUN!”
Another terrifying growl erupted through the woods and before I knew what was happening, my body was flying through the air, my back landing against a tree. I barely had time to look up when the beast was upon me again, the murder in his eyes clear.
Those eyes would haunt me, the steely blue-gray that seemed made of metal as he again snarled in rage.
But he wasn’t a bear anymore—he was a man again.
This isn’t real. This isn’t real. This isn’t real.
No matter how many times I chanted the same thing in my mind, it didn’t make it any less horrifying.
“Mme. Doucette, you need to calm down,” Lowell breathed, joining us. “Everything is okay. Just stop screaming, please!”
My eyes darted away from the incensed man in front of me, his face inches from mine, toward the pale, blonde student on my right. I was trembling, my knees barely holding me up.
“Good, look at me,” Lowell went on, seeming relieved that I was making eye contact. I opened my mouth to howl again but Lowell again cut me off.
“I promise there’s no reason to be afraid,” Lowell insisted and when I finally rested my nervous eyes on her face, I could read the sincerity there. “Everything is fine. You need to stop screaming.”
“She needs to do more than that!” the man hissed. “She needs to forget what she ever saw here and there’s only one way to ensure that.”
I couldn’t find my voice and even if I had been able to, what would I have said?
“Flint, just leave her alone,” Lowell groaned pleadingly. “She’s not going to say anything to anyone, are you, Mme. Doucette?”
I wished she’d stop saying my name. Now the monster knew my name. I wondered if that would make a difference when I was dead.
“You know this woman?” the creature before me demanded, cluing in to the fact finally. His own ire seemed to simmer. The sour expression on his face didn’t lessen but he did back up some, allowing me a bit of breathing room. Even still, I couldn’t catch my breath. I felt like the woods were closing in around me.
“She’s my French teacher,” Lowell confessed, shaking her head. “Margot-Celine Doucette.”
“What the hell is she doing here?” Flint roared, not tearing his eyes off my face. I felt the last of the blood drain out of my face.
“That’s a good question,” Lowell replied quietly, giving me a look that was nothing short of chiding.
“Did you invite her here?” Flint snarled, turning his rage on Lowell again. Instantly, I stepped forward to protect her but Lowell held up a hand.
“I didn’t invite her here and you’re scaring her, Flint. Can you please calm down?”
I managed to croak out a sentence finally.
“W-what is going on?” I managed to whisper, my head swimming so much that I was sure I was going to faint. I wasn’t even sure either of them heard me.
“This is Flint Locklear,” Lowell told me. “He’s my boyfriend’s father. He was just taking me up the mountain to see Davis. He wasn’t hurting me. I-I’m sorry you thought he was, Mme. Doucette.”
“Y-y-you’ve known a-about this?” I sputtered, hating the way my voice squealed. I felt like I was out of control of my own body. My question barely made sense in my own head and even less when I spoke it aloud.
“About what exactly?” Flint hissed, again stepping toward me. “What is it you think you saw?”
“Flint…” Lowell murmured but the man was growing angry again. I dropped my eyes, only to stare at his naked knees, and darted them upward again. There was no good place to look without turning my face crimson or pale. I didn’t begin to understand the nudity in all of it. I was not a puritan saint but in this context, his nakedness was only more appalling somehow.
“Well? What did you think you saw?” he demanded again, his tone growing louder. I wanted to close my eyes and block him out of my view but I didn’t dare. Not knowing was scarier than seeing it coming, I reasoned.
“Nothing,” I whimpered, looking desperately at Lowell. “I didn’t see anything. I swear!”
What a fool I’d been, thinking that Lowell had needed me. I’d only endangered myself in the process. Why couldn’t I have just left well enough alone? I knew the answer to that. Because I was trying to be the person I needed when I was her age.
I’m the person I need, not the person Lowell needs.
It was far too late to argue the semantics of that now.
“That’s right,” Flint agreed and to my relief, he again lowered his stance, falling back with a nod. “You didn’t see anything.”
Lowell cast me a look that I couldn’t read, even if it made sense at all. My head was swimming and I felt like I was flittering in and out of the scene, up above, watching just like that bald eagle.
Like Flint. Flint is that bald eagle, I reminded myself and more dizziness overcame me.
“She’s not going to say anything,” Lowell insisted again, this time putting herself between us. She looked defiantly at Flint and their eyes locked in some silent battle I didn’t understand.
“No, she’s not,” Flint conceded. “Because if she does, I’m going to kill her.”
4
Margot-Celine
I don’t remember the minutes after that with a great amount of detail. From somewhere, I heard Lowell tell Flint not to worry about anything. I heard her reassurances that she would take care of matters as she guided me away from the still-nude creature I didn’t begin to comprehend.
I didn’t know what Lowell meant by any of that because I was somewhere else in those moments, somewhere I swore I’d never be again—in my head or otherwise.
I was standing before my abusive husband and he was uttering the very same words that Flint had just said to me.
“I’m going to kill you.”
It was hard to swallow now and I considered that I was having an allergic reaction. I wasn’t a hypochondriac, I was just looking for some good reason why all of this was happening.
History is doomed to repeat itself, a mocking little voice chirped in my ear. Oh, how I loathed that little person in my head, always playing on my worst fears at the most inopportune times.
“Tell Davis I’ll catch up with him later,” Lowell told Flint and it was about that moment that I tuned back in, allowing myself to be led down the mountain and far away from the scene that had almost killed me. It was then I clued in to what was happening because Lowell’s hand was on my arm. I wrenched out of her grip with far too much force and she looked at me with surprise but she didn’t try to touch me again.