That, and I want to know just how embarrassed I should be about the things I said the other night. But since I’m not going to fess up to that now, I shrug and say, “I guess.”
“It’s a little different for me since I’m an alpha,” Luca explains. “I connect a little better with my wolf than most, and much better than you will the first few times.”
I swallow. “How much connection do you have?”
“He gets free reign for the most part. When I shift back, I remember a Cliff’s Notes version of everything that happened when he was in charge.”
I wonder if all my talk about kissing made it into the summary? Considering he was hurt pretty bad, I doubt my rambling was important enough to make the final cut.
“So . . . no details?” I ask hesitantly.
“Not really.” Luca shrugs.
“You don’t remember specific things that may have been said to you when you were a wolf?”
Luca’s eyes narrow suspiciously. “Are we still talking about preparing you for your first shift, or are you trying to find out what I may or may not know about something you may or may not have said in my presence?”
“My questions are for research purposes only,” I lie. “I merely want to know what to expect, and how much of my time as a wolf I am going to remember when this is all over, and I assure you that this has nothing to do with you or anything that happened when you were a wolf.”
A grin slowly spreads across Luca’s face. “That is one big, rambling run-on sentence.”
“So?”
“We both know what that means.” His grin broadens. “What did you say?”
“Nothing.” I cross my arms. “I don’t even know what you’re talking about.”
“Sure, you do.” He smirks. “Otherwise, you wouldn’t be so desperate to find out what I remember.”
I snort. “I could care less.”
“It must have been good.”
I sigh loudly. “Can we get back on track here?”
He laughs. “Now you’re suddenly eager to shift?”
“I’ve been ready,” I insist. “I just . . . had some questions first.”
“Yeah.” He squints at me. “Now I do, too.”
“Priorities,” I remind him.
“Yours or mine?”
“We should have the same.”
“Fine.” He grins. “Let’s shift. I’ll connect with my wolf to get the scoop on what he knows.”
I freeze. “You can do that?”
“Maybe.” His grin grows. “Is there anything you want to tell me? Give your perspective first before I hear it from him?”
“Not really.” I shrug nonchalantly. “I just want to do this.”
“Let’s do it then.” He steps closer. “Shift.”
“Tell me how.”
“Just do it, Sav. Shift,” he repeats in a more commanding voice.
I squeeze my eyes shut, and wait. Nothing happens. I glance up to find Luca peering down at me with a confused look on his face.
“What? Am I broken?”
“No . . .” He inches closer, forcing my chin to tip higher to maintain eye contact. His gaze settles on my mouth and my pulse soars, joining the butterflies that have found their way back. “Just stubborn.”
I balk. “What does that have to do with anything?”
He silences me with a finger to my lips. “I get it. You don’t like to be told what to do, but right now, you need to listen to me.”
The tone of his voice takes on a demanding quality, and my gut stirs in response. It’s not butterflies—not anymore. It’s something else. Something deep and primal and hot. I don’t know what exactly it is, but I am equally terrified of it and excited by it.
My breaths come faster and heavier, and my knees grow weak. I don’t know if I’m turned on or what, but something is happening to me. Luca is stirring me all up, and he isn’t even touching me.
“Let go, Sav,” Luca urges. “Let her out.”
My stomach clenches, making me grimace. “I can’t.”
“You can and you will.”
His deep and gravelly voice penetrates my core, causing me to tremble. The ache in my stomach worsens, and I fear I may actually make my premonition of being the only shifter to puke before her first shift a reality. It’s either that, or I’m fixing to throw myself at Luca again. I can’t decide if nerves or hormones are to blame for what is happening to me.
Or maybe it’s neither. Maybe this is what it’s like to be a shifter.
“Trust yourself, Sav.” Luca forces my gaze to hold his. “Trust me.”
He cups my face in his hand, and strokes my cheek with his thumb. Then his head tips toward mine like he’s going to kiss me, only he doesn’t. He stops, a few short inches away, and whispers, “Shift, Sav. Now.”
Chapter 22
Hot summer sun beats down on the back of my neck as my toes dig into the cool sand at the water’s edge. Suddenly, a toned and muscular arm is slung over my shoulders. With it comes the familiar scent of sunshine and mint.
“Here’s what I think.” Luca points a finger in the air. “You’re afraid of being wrong.”
“I would love to hear how you came up with that theory.” I grin in spite of myself.
“It wasn’t that difficult, actually.” He stands in front of me, bare feet in the water, and squints against the sun now in his face. He is still as handsome as ever. “You don’t think you’re competitive, but you are. You like to be right. A lot.”
I jab an accusatory finger at him. “We both have that problem.”
“This isn’t about me. We’re talking about you now,” he reminds me. “And you hate to lose.”
I cross my arms over my chest. “What does that have to do with what we’re discussing?”
“Everything,” he says, and then he explains, “You are convinced that I would make a terrible boyfriend.”
I nod. “You’re finally right about something.”
“The problem is, you’re unwilling to risk being wrong,” he counters smoothly. “You won’t even allow me to show you just how good of a boyfriend I can be, because you know there is a chance you may be wrong about me.”
I fight back a laugh. “Why are you so adamant about this?”
“Because you keep saying no,” he answers with a grin.
“Most guys would take the hint, and move on.”
“I’m not like most guys,” he says.
“How do I get you to go away?” I tease.
“Give me one chance,” he suggests. “If I screw it up, I won’t bother you again.”
I consider his offer. “Well . . . my standards are already pretty low. I suppose you can’t make it any worse.”
His grin grows. A dimple pops out. “No. I’m going to raise the bar . . .”
I wake to the sound of birds chirping and the warmth of the sun on my face. I don’t know where I am, or how I got here. At this point, I don’t even know what realm I am in, let alone what is real and what my imagination has come up with. All I do know is that I am lying in the most comfortable bed in any realm.
I sniff the sheets. They smell like Luca. So there’s one question answered.
I turn over, expecting to find him beside me. He’s not there, but someone else is.
A dark-haired girl, a few years my junior, stares at me from the foot of the bed. I tug the sheets up to my chin and gawk back at her as I try to determine why she looks familiar.
“Are you my brother’s girlfriend?” she asks suddenly.
“Um . . . no.”
She frowns, clearly not satisfied with that answer. Then she sniffs. “You’re the girl I always smell on him.”
Before I have the opportunity to respond to that odd statement, the door bursts open. I redirect my wide-eyed gaze to the doorway, where Luca stands with a scowl on his face.
“You.” He jabs a finger at the girl. “Out.”
“But I—”
“Lily.” He commands her with a tone that ins
tantly hollows my stomach. I have the sudden urge to duck my head and tuck my tail.
Okay, there is a chance those thoughts belong to the wolf in my head.
Luca glances at me as the girl, who I now assume is his younger sister, sulks across the room toward the door. By the time she reaches him, his scowl has morphed into a reluctant grin.
She chops him in the ribs with a strength and speed that surprises both of us, then ducks out the door when Luca turns to retaliate. Safely out of his reach, she sticks out her tongue.
He shuts the door on her. His back to me, he mutters, “Be glad you don’t have a little sister.”
“She’s . . . feisty.”
Luca glances over his shoulder. “She’s trouble.”
“I think I might like her.” I sit up and glance around the room, but it doesn’t look familiar. “Where are we?”
“Silver Lake. My room.” He hesitates before adding, “It’s just us. Lily likes to drop in from time to time to annoy me, but she’s not staying.”
I’m relieved to hear that we’re alone. The last thing I need is a face-to-face with either of Luca’s parents after the night I had. Not that I actually remember it, but the soreness in my muscles suggests that it was a doozy.
The last thing I remember is standing in the field behind the Caspan Estate. I assume I shifted, but I don’t know what happened after that since my wolf didn’t bother to leave me a summary.
Once again, I have to rely on Luca to fill in the gaps.
“So what happened? Did I . . .”
“Shift? Yeah.” Luca grins. “Your wolf did well.”
“Huh. Wish I could remember some of it.” I scoot to the edge of the bed and stand. “So how did I do on my first—”
I cut myself off when a breeze skirts along my backside. There’s an open window behind me, which explains where the breeze is coming from. I look down at my clothes.
There’s not much to look at. Thankfully, the oversized t-shirt does a decent job of covering multiple zones because that is all I am wearing. I quickly pin the hem to my body before a gust sends it flying.
I look at Luca and find him unusually interested in the ceiling. “Where are my clothes?”
“Most of them were ruined when you shifted.” He pauses. “I did the best I could.”
“At what exactly?”
He clears his throat.
“Luca?”
He finally looks at me. “You’re a shifter, Sav. There are aspects of our world that you have to learn to accept.”
I smirk. “Like . . . being naked all the time?”
“It’s not all the time.” He peers at me from across the room with a barely concealed grin. “I tried not to look. I swear, I—”
“Oh, my God.” I turn away from him, but I don’t have anywhere to go. And I don’t know how much of my rear end is covered by the shirt, so I whip around again before he gets an eyeful. Another eyeful, apparently. “This has to be a nightmare.”
“It’s not that bad, Sav,” he says. Then his grin breaks wide open. “Actually, it was—”
“Do not finish that statement,” I order.
“Can I still think about it?”
“I would rather you not.”
He shrugs like he doesn’t give a damn. And why would he? He’s the one who got to see me in all of my naked glory last night, and he’s still getting a decent look because this shirt isn’t that big. I need to get dressed, pronto.
“You said most of my clothes were ruined,” I remind him. “Is there anything left?”
“What I could salvage is over there.”
He directs me to the dresser, where I find a pile of clothes. The shirt is shredded and the pants resemble a cheaply made pair of cutoffs. I pick up what remains of my underwear with a grimace. Only one article of clothing appears to have survived the incident unscathed. In the corner, on the floor, I find my bra.
“What is this doing way over here?” I pick it up with my toes to avoid bending over.
“Umm . . .”
“Luca?”
“Don’t ask me.” He tosses his hands up. “I’m not the one who took it off.”
He opens the door as if preparing to flee. I race across the room to stop him. He’s not going anywhere after that statement.
“What do you mean by that? Who—”
“You did.” His gaze drifts down, prompting me to cross my arms over my chest. “You took it off after . . .”
My eyes widen. “After what?”
“Once we shifted back,” he answers. “You . . . weren’t too open to the suggestion of putting clothes on.”
I blanch. “You’re kidding?”
“It barely got that on you without getting maimed.” He jabs a finger at the t-shirt I’m wearing.
“What?” I shriek.
“I’m an alpha,” he says, and I get the impression he uses that statement a lot. For a lot of different reasons.
“Why does that matter?”
“I ooze of . . . power,” he explains. “You . . . or your wolf . . . can’t really help but be affected by it.”
“In what way?” I ask warily.
Luca grins. “You know the answer to that.”
“You’re trying to tell me that my inner wolf threw herself at you after I shifted?” I glance down at my bare legs, suddenly recalling that I’m still mostly naked.
“If it makes you feel any better, I’m used to it,” Luca says. “She-wolves can’t really help themselves around me. It’s the power, the pheromones. It’s perfectly natural.”
“Maybe for you.” I scoff.
“Nothing happened,” Luca says. “Your wolf can’t help how she responds, but I would never take advantage of that. You and her still need to get on the same page about a few things, but you’ll make it work. As a shifter, you have to.”
I pause to mull over his words. I can learn to deal with my wolf, but I need to be sure about one thing—the same thing that has been bothering me since I met Luca and started having insanely vivid dreams about him.
“Nothing happened between us?”
“No.” Luca shakes his head softly.
“Has anything ever happened between us?”
He squints at me peculiarly. “I already told you the answer to that.”
It’s not that I don’t believe him, but I still can’t get past the dreams.
I am about ninety-nine percent sure this most recent one was a memory working its way back. It was from another time—a time I hope to remember completely someday.
But what about the other, more risqué, dreams? A few of them have left me wondering exactly what happened the night of my birthday because I wouldn’t classify what I dreamt as “nothing.”
“What is it, Sav?” Luca asks quietly, and I hate that he can read me so easily.
“Is it possible that my memories could be coming back?”
Luca blinks. “Are they?”
“I don’t know. I’ve been having dreams,” I admit. “They’re so vivid that I wonder if they’re actually memories coming through as dreams.”
Luca walks across the room in a daze and plops down on the bed. His gaze fixates on the floor by his feet like he is deep in thought. When he finally speaks, it’s to himself. “Dreams? Who would have thought?”
“I can’t be sure,” I point out. “I don’t know how I’ll ever know.”
He looks up at me and I see the indecision in his eyes. He has an idea, but he’s not sure I’m going to like it.
“What is it?” I wonder.
“You could . . . tell me about the dreams,” he suggests hesitantly.
My mouth instantly drops open, a ‘no way’ ready on my tongue. Something stops me.
It’s probably my wolf masquerading as instinct. She realizes that there is no other way to uncover the truth. Luca is the only one who can verify my dreams as memories.
What do I have to lose, aside from my dignity?
I move toward him with a long, drawn-out sigh and ta
ke a seat beside him. My leg bounces uncontrollably as I stare at the floor, building up the courage to start. It doesn’t help that I can feel his eyes on me, waiting.
Several moments pass before he says, “You don’t have to do this.”
“Yeah, I do.” I breathe in. Out. “The night of my birthday . . . we were at a dance of some sort?”
My eyes stay glued to the floor, but I can feel Luca’s smile beside me.
“Yes.”
“We danced?”
“Yes.”
“We argued?”
“Of course.”
“There were others there,” I continue, piecing together the rest of what I recall. “One of them took me away and tried to hurt me.”
Luca’s excitement is palpable when he nods. “Yes.”
“It gets a little blurry after that.” I turn to Luca with a silent plea for help, because I want to fill in all of the gaps.
“You were slipped a drug laced with dark magic,” he prompts.
“There was a bird there, on a balcony,” I add.
Luca blinks. “You remember that?”
The vision in my head is foggy, but I recall a large hawk-like bird soaring above me, it’s sharp talons inches from my face. Then the silver wolf is standing over me, protecting me.
“You fought him, and he flew away.” I turn to Luca with a huge grin. “That really happened?”
He nods enthusiastically. “It did. All of it. You remember.”
More and more pieces fall into place as I bounce excitedly on the edge of the bed.
“Once he was gone, you shifted back, and then . . .” I freeze when the familiar scenes of another dream play out in my head. My wide-eyed gaze shoots to Luca. “Oh, no. No, no, no, no.”
His brows pull together. “What?”
“After the attack on the balcony . . .”
“Yeah?” He shakes his head at me like he doesn’t understand.
But he should, because we confirmed that my dreams are memories, and he should know by now that I consider what happened next a very big deal.
“I remember, Luca,” I tell him, hoping to put an end to his charade. He can stop pretending that nothing happened between us, and just admit it already.
I know.
“You remember . . . what?” He narrows his eyes. “The hallucinations? I’ve heard they can be bad.”
Shifter Crown: Valley of Truth and Denial (The Shifter Crown Series Book 1) Page 19