by Jenn Faulk
~Cammie~
“And that was that,” Camille sighed, finishing the last bite on her plate, then pushing it to the center of the table.
She was amazed she’d been able to eat so quickly, given how much she’d been talking.
Her sister, Chelsea, however, wasn’t even halfway done with her own meal. But that had more to do with the baby she’d been nursing practically since they sat down. She only just now had Avery back on her shoulder, coaxing a burp from her as her own meal grew cold in front of her.
“And that was that?” Chelsea sighed, the question in her voice.
“Yeah,” Camille nodded. “Hey, give her to me so you can eat.” She reached out for the tiny little bundle, her heart clenching at the sweet smell of the baby shampoo as Avery turned towards her. As she nestled her niece close to her shoulder, she smiled at how the baby put her tiny fist on her aunt’s chest, content to hear her heartbeat.
Such sweetness. It made the conversation even more bittersweet.
“Oh, Cammie, I really thought this one might work out,” Chelsea said sadly, picking up her fork and going back to her food. “He seemed so serious.”
He had seemed that way. He really had. She’d thought just last week that he was as serious as she was about calling, about going, about being sent… but only a few dates in, it had become apparent that he wasn’t very serious at all. She was sure that he probably had a very fruitful and meaningful ministry here in the US, but as far as calling went to go to the nations, he had no desire to go anywhere.
Most men didn’t.
She understood it… in part, at least. When she finished college, she’d gone directly to the mission field for a one year term in Brazil. She’d been single, of course, but she remembered not being bothered much by this because the rest of her life was still in front of her. Plenty of time for romance, for marriage, for babies. At the end of her term, she’d come back, spent six months in transition, hoping that she’d meet someone at the seminary as she prepared for the next term…
… and nothing. She signed on for two years in Russia and was gone before the US had become normal to her again. She’d been single, of course, but she remembered counting two years as not very long at all. She would be back stateside, still with plenty of time for marriage and a family, and her whole life ahead of her.
And nothing. Another trip back to the US, another transition, another two year term.
She’d been single, of course.
That last two year stint in Japan had convinced her of a few things. That calling was better than romance, most definitely. That she really didn’t need a man. That she could live the rest of her life without children.
She’d met a man, though. Of all things during this transition, she’d met a man. He said the right things, lived the right way, and was immersed in the right kind of ministry in the US. She’d begun to think that God was finally giving her what she’d been too ashamed to pray for all those years on the different mission fields.
Love. A husband. A family.
And she could have had it, she knew. But Jason had no call overseas, so she would have had to forfeit her own calling, her own passion, to meet his.
It wasn’t worth it… was it?
She sighed and smiled at Chelsea. “It’s okay. I can just love on your children. When I’m home, that is.”
“You’re not home enough,” Chelsea began. “And it –”
“Hey, Chelsea.” Camille glanced up at the cute guy holding two dessert samplers out to their table. “Thought I’d bring these by since you’re almost finished.”
Chelsea smiled at him. “Thank you, Grant. Do you remember my sister, Camille?”
“Sure do,” he said. “How’s Japan?”
“Wonderful,” she said, sincerely meaning this. She’d hoped to be sent back to Tokyo, had considered going career status for a seven year term, but had backed out at the last minute. Seven years was a long time. And signing up single in a career capacity felt like giving up any last dream she had of ever meeting anyone. “Back for just a while. Then, onto what’s next.”
“Well, I hope you enjoy your time in the US,” he said. “Chelsea, it’s all on the house.”
And before Chelsea could thank him for his generosity, he was making his way back to the kitchen.
“Why,” Camille said, watching him leave as she kissed her niece’s head, “didn’t you ever fix me up with him?”
Chelsea frowned. “I tried, Cammie,” she said. “Do you not remember?”
She did… vaguely. She’d resisted her sister’s attempts to fix her up with this successful, godly guy, her husband’s best friend, because he clearly wasn’t going overseas.
Maybe she was being too picky, huh? Maybe it was…
“Too late now,” Chelsea sighed. “He’s married.”
“Ugh,” Camille groaned. “Who isn’t?”
“You know,” Chelsea noted, “there’s nothing to say that God can’t bring you someone on the mission field, Cammie. That as you’re being obedient to what He’s called you to that He won’t bring someone right to you. Or bring you right to someone.”
“It doesn’t matter anyway,” Camille murmured. “Life is about more than men. I’ve lasted this long without a man, and –”
“You’re only twenty-seven,” Chelsea reminded her.
“Only,” Camille sighed. “How many children did you have by the time you were my age, Chels?”
“Two,” Chelsea said quietly. “And my husband was dying of cancer. And I had no job and no way to take care of my family. But you, you have nothing but a bright future ahead of you, with your degree, with your exciting career –”
“And you have it all,” Camille noted, looking back down at the infant. “God worked it out. You got a job, you remarried, you started having even more babies.”
Chelsea watched her for a moment. “Different callings for all of us, I guess.” Then, more quietly, “But saying yes to God doesn’t mean you say no to everything else. Maybe Jason was just –”
“Not the right guy,” Camille confirmed. “Even if he had been called… he just wasn’t right. I need to just do what God has for me to do and not worry about things that don’t really matter.”
Chelsea nodded quietly at this. “Where is your new position? How long are you going this time?”
“Three years,” Camille said, struggling for a smile. She’d be thirty when she returned. “Another temporary position….then maybe I’ll finally go career, huh?”
“Is it Japan?” Chelsea asked, studying her sister.
“Oh, no, they assigned me to something totally different,” Camille shook her head. “They’re sending me to some place in Africa. A country called Namibia.”