“I know.” Rhys stepped forward and brushed his fingers over Patrick’s cheek. “Thank you. But… I did love you enough to want you to be happy. I do want you to be happy. You’ll be happy with him.” He leaned forward and kissed Patrick’s forehead.
Patrick closed his eyes, aching for Rhys. He knew all too well what it was to want something he couldn’t have. Patrick wanted to tell Rhys there was someone out there, that he’d find his happiness, but he knew how empty it would sound. Instead, he kissed Rhys’s cheek. “Thank you.”
“You’re welcome.” Rhys stepped back and smiled. “Now, go get the man you love.”
Patrick stared at him for another moment. Then he heard Chance start to wrap up his song, and Patrick took another deep breath. With one last look at Rhys, he turned back toward the stage and glanced through the curtain to meet the eyes of a lady sitting in the front row of tables. Her hands rested on the top of a cane between her knees, and she looked right at him and smiled.
And Patrick knew he could do this.
Chance pulled the guitar strap over his shoulder, then set the instrument in its stand. Right on cue, the music started. Patrick waited, watching Chance turn, puzzled expression on the handsome face, and look around. There was usually music between sets, but it was much quieter. And it had never been this song.
He took another breath, then began to sing as he walked out on the stage.
Chance’s gaze landed on him, and the blue eyes widened. Patrick’s voice strengthened as he sang the lyrics, hitting the notes flawlessly. He ought to—he’d been practicing the song nonstop since Friday. He’d even set up a full-fledged rehearsal there on Sunday. He wanted it as perfect as he could get it.
His eyes never left Chance as he sang, though the curtains behind him opened, showing Pablo and Angelo playing their guitars and Sebastian standing between them, singing backup. Chance glanced over, eyes widening even more, but they didn’t stay on the others. He looked back, turning more fully until he was facing Patrick.
Patrick slowly crossed the distance between them. He put everything into his expression he could, all of the apology, all of the hopes for them, all of the love he had. He never looked away as he promised to Chance all the things he should have promised a long time ago. He hoped his eyes reflected the determination he felt as he told how he wasn’t going to give up, no matter how rough things got.
Patrick’s heart did skip a beat when he got to the part about needing space and navigating. Chance had sung this song to him, making these same promises to him. But Patrick reminded himself it was past. He—they—were going to move forward from here. And so he kept going, kept singing right past those lines and into the next verse.
He watched Chance’s throat work, watched the struggle with emotion, and it only helped Patrick keep going. He could see the hope start to bloom in the blue eyes, the longing in that handsome face. And as Patrick sang about figuring himself out, knowing who he was and what he had, what was important, he started to feel like they could do this, they could last.
And when he promised he was tough enough, though they had things to learn, that he was going to love, Chance’s lips started to spread into a tentative smile.
When he finished the song, he stopped in front of Chance and let the silence hang for a moment. He drank in the sight of Chance’s smile, the hope and the love still there for him. His heart started pounding again, his breathing wanted to shorten. If after all this, Chance said no, if he turned away….
Patrick shoved the fears back and spoke. “I have been a complete fucking idiot.”
The audience laughed.
Chance chuckled, smile spreading into a grin. “So have I.”
But Patrick shook his head. “Not like I have. I didn’t trust in you, in us, like I should have. I never should have pushed you away. I never should have walked away.” He shook his head again. “I never should have let you walk away.” He swallowed the lump in his throat as tears threatened. He didn’t fight them, though. He had nothing to hide anymore, and when the first one fell, he let it go. He took another deep breath. “I have realized in these last horrible weeks that nothing, nothing is worth walking away from you. Nothing is worth not having you by my side. You are my light, and I have been living in the dark.
“‘I’m sorry’ doesn’t begin to cover all that I’ve said and done to you. I can’t make up for it. I can’t change what I’ve done. I’ve fucked up. But a very wise person told me that it’s not about not fucking up. It’s about fixing it when I do. I’d like the opportunity to fix it.”
With a smile Patrick got down on one knee, then turned to watch Avery come out in his little suit and tie and hand him a velvet box.
He looked up, his smile spreading at Chance’s wide eyes. “You are the love of my life. I love you more than anything—need you more than anything. I can’t imagine ever wanting to face life without you again. All I want to do is love you for the rest of our lives. Will you give me another chance?”
He took a deep breath and opened the box, turning it toward Chance. “Chance Dillon, will you marry me?”
“And be my daddy?” Avery asked.
Chance’s gaze darted from the gorgeous ring to Patrick’s beautiful brown eyes to Avery’s adorable face, then back to the ring again. Celtic knot work in what he was sure was white gold worked its way around the band. In the middle, the knots gave way to a diamond.
He wouldn’t have cared if it was a rubber band.
He blinked back tears, though he knew that wouldn’t last. There was no way he was getting through this without them. But he just couldn’t care as long as he could see the beautiful man in front of him. He swallowed around the lump in his throat, but words seemed to have abandoned him, even simple three-letter ones. Instead, he nodded as the tears started falling. He swallowed a few more times before he finally managed to force out the one word Patrick needed. “Yes.”
The audience broke out in deafening applause.
Chance ignored it as he watched Patrick pull the ring out of the box with shaking hands. His smile steadied a little when he saw it and didn’t feel so bad about his own shaking as the ring was pushed onto his finger. When it was in place, Patrick kissed it, then stood.
Chance yanked him in, wrapping both arms around him, and caught his lips in a kiss. It took him a long time to let go of those lips, despite the cheering crowd and others coming onto the stage. He couldn’t care about any of them in that moment. The only thing he needed, wanted, was the man in his arms.
But when little hands tugged on his shirt, he pulled back and looked down, then scooped Avery up in his arms. “Daddy!” he cheered, and Chance’s tears fell a little faster.
“Hi, Squirt.” He closed his eyes and hugged… his son… a little closer.
“I missed you.”
“I missed you too, Squirt.” He pulled back and kissed Avery’s cheek. “You really want me to be your daddy?”
Avery nodded vigorously. “Yes!”
Chance felt the warmth of that spread through him. “Then I am happy to be your daddy.”
“Yay! I love you, Daddy!”
More tears fell as Chance hugged Avery closer. “I love you too, Squirt.” He took a deep breath and pulled back, kissing Avery on the forehead. “Hey, Squirt, go make sure Sophia’s okay, will you?”
“Okay, Daddy!” Avery said as he was set down, then took off at a run for the edge of the stage.
Chance turned to look at Patrick again, then cupped his face and left a soft kiss on his lips. “I’m sorry.”
Patrick held up a finger, then looked toward the sound booth and tapped his earpiece.
“Congrats, hon,” Selia said in his ear, and then the mic clicked off.
He turned back to Chance and shook his head, but before he could speak, Chance put a finger over his lips.
“No, I owe you an apology too. Though I think you said it best. ‘I’m sorry’ doesn’t begin to make up for what I put you through.”
“But
—”
“No. I made promises to you too. I’ve been making them for a long while. And I didn’t keep them.” He brushed his thumb over Patrick’s cheek, wiping a tear away. “So, yeah. Thank you for giving me the opportunity to fix it. I love you. And I will keep those promises from now on.”
“I love you too.” Patrick leaned in and kissed him, and Chance pulled Patrick tighter. “I’ve missed you, a ghrá.”
“I’ve missed you, baby. No more missing you, no more time apart, not like this.” He leaned in to kiss Patrick again when he saw something out of the corner of his eye. He looked up and scowled. “Son of a—are they ever going to leave you alone?” Chance pointed toward the video camera he’d managed to miss earlier that was now set up at the base of the balcony stairs. The very same reporter who’d broken the story about Patrick coming out stood next to the camera. Chance dropped his hand and turned, but Patrick held on.
To his surprise, Patrick smiled. “Probably not. But… I invited them.”
Chance blinked at him, the words not quite making sense. “You… what?”
“I invited them. Now the world knows that you are going to be my husband.”
Chance’s eyes widened. “But… what about your family?”
Patrick’s smile got bigger, and he pulled Chance forward. “I’m guessing you didn’t pay attention to your audience?”
Chance frowned. “Uh… not really. I was looking for you.”
As they approached the edge of the stage, Chance looked down, and his eyes widened again when he saw Tutu and Alana step forward. He looked up at Patrick, raising his eyebrows.
“I called them on Friday. My… mom still isn’t talking to me. And Quinn had a cook-off thing or he would have been here, but Alana and Tutu could come. And Da… wished me luck. Maybe, hopefully, someday she’ll come around and we can go to Hawai’i for Christmas and stuff… you know… as husbands, but….”
“That’s all? Patrick… your family….”
Patrick shook his head. “None of it matters without you. None of it. I… I love them, they are my family, but….”
Chance swallowed and cupped Patrick’s cheek. “But until then, you have me. And them,” Chance said, nodding.
“And you’re what matters, a ghrá. And they know that.” He tilted his head toward Tutu and Alana.
Chance shook his head, staring at his future husband. “I don’t know what to say.”
“You already said it.”
Chance grinned. “I did, didn’t I?”
“Yes.”
With a laugh Chance moved in to kiss him again but was interrupted. Again.
“Chance Dillon!” Sophia marched up to him, and he stared at her for a long moment, mouth hanging open. Running over both cheeks were long streaks of black. “You did it! You son of a… you asshole! You finally did it!”
Chance’s lips twitched, and he looked at Patrick, who was also fighting laughter. “Uh…. Sorry?”
Sophia’s eyes narrowed, and she shook her head, then smiled and pulled him into a hug. “Congratulations, darlin’. I’m so happy for you.”
“Thanks, Sophia. And… thanks for all your help.”
“Hey, I gotta keep my talent happy,” she said, stepping back. “Although….” She rounded on Patrick and poked him in the chest. “That was totally not okay.”
Patrick’s eyes widened, and he put his hands up. “What? What wasn’t?”
“Avery.” She shook her head and stomped one heeled foot. “You didn’t tell me he was going to ask that!”
Chance peeked around Sophia. “Yeah, baby, I do have to agree, that was like… a nuke. How could I have resisted that?”
Patrick laughed. “I didn’t do that. Avery did that all on his own.”
“That little stinker,” Chance said.
“See why I call him that?”
Chance laughed, and they both looked up at Sophia. “Sorry! Really.”
She shook her head and grinned. “Well, I have to go clean up my face. Congrats, both of you.” She gave Patrick a hug, then hurried off the stage.
Chance got a little lost in all the hugs and congratulations he got after that. He was shocked to find Selia had been in the sound booth. She came down to hug him before heading out. Angelo, Sebastian, and Pablo all hugged him, and Marcy blubbered all over him. He hugged her back but must have looked a bit panicked, because Pablo peeled her off and led her off the stage.
He hugged Tutu and Alana, Sara and Emily, and even a few people he couldn’t possibly remember. The biggest shock for him, however, came from someone he’d never expected to congratulate him: Rhys. He shook Rhys’s hand, then paused to consider him. “I owe you thanks.” Rhys raised an eyebrow. “You took care of him when I didn’t.”
Rhys shrugged a shoulder. “I was an asshole most of the time.”
“No, he wasn’t. Don’t let him tell you otherwise.” Patrick grinned.
Rhys rolled his eyes, and Chance chuckled.
“Seriously, man. Thanks.” He held his hand out to shake again, but Rhys tugged him in for the hug instead.
“You take care of him now, okay? He deserves to be happy.”
“I will. Thank you.”
With a mock salute, Rhys left. Chance watched him go.
“He was in love with me,” Patrick said, frowning.
“He was?” Chance looked over at Patrick, who nodded.
“Yeah. He tried to tell me he wasn’t, but there were hints here and there.” Patrick sighed. “I hurt him. Pretty badly.”
“That wasn’t your fault,” Chance said, pulling Patrick closer.
“No, it really wasn’t. But I still didn’t like it. Especially after going—well, anyway.” He looked up and smiled. “God, I’m so glad you said yes.”
Chance grinned. “Me too, baby. Me too.”
When they finally made it off the stage, Andy and a number of the regulars at the bar came up to congratulate them. It took them nearly an hour to make it out of Sophia’s.
Emily offered to keep Avery for the night at her hotel, and both men, as much as they’d missed Avery, jumped at the opportunity. With lots of hugs and promises of the amusement park and Pablo’s, Avery went with his mother for one more night. And Chance and Patrick nearly ran to the car.
When they climbed into Chance’s Honda, Chance turned to him and gave him a long kiss. “Home, then, baby?”
“Yeah. Let’s go home.”
Epilogue
Six months later
He couldn’t have a more perfect day if he’d special ordered it. The sun shone brightly, with only a few wispy clouds to mar the big bowl of blue sky. The ocean breezes stayed soft, rustling the trees now and then. And the temperature had reached a beautiful eighty degrees and stayed there.
Patrick paced along the small row of trees that separated the lawn from the beach. He wiped his palms on his white linen pants for about the fiftieth time since he’d put them on an hour ago. He reached the edge and the path that led to the sand—and the rows of chairs filled with his guests. “Why did I want to do this?”
“Because you and Chance should have a beautiful day after all you’ve been through. Now stop pacing,” Sebastian said, stepping in front of him.
Patrick considered walking around his groomsman but decided it would be rude and sighed instead. “I should have just stuck with a judge and a party,” he grumbled.
“No,” Rhys said, reaching up and straightening Patrick’s collar. “You would have regretted that. Now, take a deep breath and get over this.”
Patrick glared. “Some best man you are.” He shook his head and took a deep breath.
“Why are you so nervous, anyway? The worst is over, isn’t it?” Rhys asked, looking genuinely perplexed.
“This is the biggest role he’ll ever do,” Angelo said, rescuing him. “Give the man some space. It makes sense for him to be nervous. He’s got some of the most important lines he’ll ever speak ahead of him.”
“Uh, honey?” Sebastian said
, pointing at Patrick, “I… don’t think you’re helping. He’s looking a little… green.”
Patrick nodded, his stomach tying itself in knots way more complicated than they’d ever been in before. He took a deep breath, seriously regretting the lunch he’d eaten, even if it’d been light. Patrick focused on breathing for another moment, on taking air in and letting it out slowly, trying very hard to not lose the contents of his stomach.
Avery stepped up and tugged on Patrick’s shirt. “Da? What’s wrong?”
“Your da’s just afraid he’ll mess up and say the wrong thing to your daddy,” Rhys explained. “He’ll be okay.”
“What could he say wrong?” Avery asked. “Daddy loves him.”
Leave it to a four-year-old to put it into perspective.
Patrick picked Avery up and hugged him. “Absolutely nothing, Stinker. Thanks.” He kissed Avery’s cheek.
“Uh… welcome?” he asked, eyebrows scrunched in puzzlement.
Rhys chuckled. “Don’t even try to understand. You’ll get it when you’re older.”
Avery rolled his eyes. “Da and Daddy say that all the time.”
Patrick chuckled. “Because it’s true.” With another kiss to Avery’s cheek, he set the boy down, then straightened out the little white linen shirt that matched Patrick’s. After making sure the chain around Avery’s neck holding the wedding bands was straight, Patrick turned around and started pacing again. He ran his vows over and over in his head, sure he was going to forget something important.
Like he’d almost forgotten hotel rooms for his guests. Or to finalize the order on their rings.
The last six months had been driving him completely crazy. Patrick was convinced planning a wedding was entirely aimed at testing the strength of the relationship before the “I dos” are said. Thus far, their relationship had proven stronger than everything.
Even so, he’d considered, more than a dozen separate times at last count, giving up on the pretty Hawai’ian wedding they wanted and visiting the judge in LA.
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