by W.J. May
***
Natalie sat up on her elbows when she heard the door open. She shielded her eyes with her hand when the light from the hallway shined onto her face.
“Sorry, I didn't mean to wake you.” Lise shut the door softly.
“That's okay. I need to get up.” Natalie flipped her bedside lamp on. “What time is it anyways?”
“Seven, I think.” Lise flipped on the main light in the dorm room.
“Already?” She threw back the covers and sat on the side of her bed.
“Yeah, already. I did bring you something back from Texadelphia.” She sat down a brown paper bag on Natalie's desk.
“Thanks Lise. Why didn't you wake me up? I would have gone with you.”
“You were sleeping so good, I didn't want to bother you. So I went with Shannon and Macie.” She turned on the TV and then went to her closet and started going through her clothes.
“Oh good, you didn't have to eat alone.”
“So, do you think you feel like going out tonight?” She looked over her shoulder at Natalie, giving her a please say yes look.
“Oh, Lise, I don't think I'm up to it. Ask Shannon and Macie to go with you.”
Lise stomped her feet on the ground. “What? Come on Nat, you know I don't like going out to bars with our suite mates. They are so lame. Besides, you haven't been out since Spring break.”
“I'm sorry. I'm not ready to go out.” Natalie lay back down on her bed. She didn’t want to admit that seeing her old high school crush had definitely stirred up some buried feelings.
“Not ready? What you need to do is forget about Tony and go have some fun for crying out loud. Our freshman year is ending.”
“I don’t care, Lise.” Natalie grabbed her pillow and covered her head. Even though Lise was a great friend, she really didn’t want to listen to her lecture about what she needed to do. She knew how to handle her split with Tony and she didn’t need Lise telling her how to do it. More than anything she was afraid that if she went out she’d run into him or maybe even Ryan.
“Come on, Nat. You can't stop living your life because of him.” She tugged on the pillow, trying to uncover her face.
She shoved the pillow to the side of the bed and sat up. “I am living. He hasn't ruined my life.”
“Well, you haven’t been yourself since you broke up with him. All you do is workout, go to class, study and sleep.” Lise put her hands on her hips.
When Natalie tried to get up, she moved side to side blocking her. She sat on the edge of the bed waiting patiently for her to move. Lise continued to babble words of encouragement but she ignored her. Frustrated, she pushed Lise out of the way and got up from her bed.
“Where are you going?” Lise stumbled to the side.
Natalie didn’t answer. She walked over to her dresser and pulled out some shorts and a tank top. She changed her clothes and put on her running shoes. When she stood up, she caught her reflection in the mirror. Her hair was a stringy mess and she barely had any makeup on. She told herself she didn’t care, but decided to redo her ponytail anyway.
“I’ll be back later. I’m going to workout.” Natalie grabbed her gym bag and headed for the door.
“Wait. I ummmm…wanna go.” Lise stumbled around the room trying to find her running shoes.
She stopped and turned around. “Lise, you hate to workout. Besides, you have a great body.”
“Uhhh, no I don’t. I’ve gained at least ten pounds this semester. So I could really use your help.”
“If you say so.” Natalie raised her brows and shook her head. If only she could be as lucky as her blonde, green-eyed friend. Who happened to be naturally gifted with big boobs, a small waist and a firm butt that any girl would envy, despite her disillusionment of being overweight. The fact that Lise was almost a whole year older than her gave her a glimmer of hope.
Lise looked up from tying her shoe. “I think that class you’re taking is really making a difference. Have you checked out your legs lately?”
Natalie glanced down at her legs, flexing them and turning them from side to side. The definition in her quadriceps and calves had definitely changed. Either the working out or the supplements she had been taking was making a difference. Maybe both.
“Okay, let’s go.” Lise seemed overly enthusiastic.
They left the dorm room and walked down the hall. “I hope you can keep up with me.” Natalie let out a slight smile, looking over her shoulder. Lise trailed behind, dodging a slew of oncoming female students in the long corridor of the dorm.
By the time they made it to the common area, Lise’s enthusiasm had dwindled away and a worried look formed on her face. “I’ve done Zumba before. I think I can keep up.”
“If you say so.” Natalie said holding the door open for her.
The moment they stepped outside, Lise’s attention shifted. “OMG it’s feels hotter out here than it did thirty minutes ago.” She pulled up her hair and clipped it to the side.
Natalie wiped the sweat forming along her hairline on her forehead. “I can't imagine what this summer is going to be like.” She led the way across the campus lawn.
“Brutal. That's what it will feel like. Hey, let’s take the shuttle.” Lise pointed to the bus stop.
“No, it’s a short walk.” Natalie kept going toward the gym.
“What? It’s too hot to walk.” Lise whined. Natalie turned around, grabbed her arm, and pulled her in the opposite direction. Poor Lise, she was always complaining and whining about something. Even though they were in central Texas, it was hard not to complain about the near hundred degree temperatures this late in the afternoon for the middle of May. No doubt, this would be a hot summer.
Lise rushed ahead of Natalie to get inside the gym. “Are you that eager to get started?” Natalie walked in behind her.
“No, I just wanted to feel this cold air.” Lise stood underneath the air vent, spreading her arms out and allowing the cool air to blow down on her face.
“I hope you're not afraid to sweat.” She passed by her.
Lise followed her to the free weights area. “Weights? Seriously?” She threw her hands up in the air.
“You can do whatever you want. Today, I'm lifting weights.” Natalie sat her gym bag down in front of a bench and then picked up a twenty pound dumbbell. She did a few arm curls while Lise watched her.
“My God, look at your arms. What have you been taking?”
Natalie watched the bulge in her bicep enlarge with each rep she took. “Just the supplements and vitamins from Kronberg Labs, that's all.”
“Are you sure there are no steroids in them?” Lise reached over and squeezed her arm.
She let out a slight laugh. “No. They are not drugs. It's only vitamins and protein along with some amino acids. Nothing else. Believe me, I wouldn't be taking them.”
When she finished, Lise motioned for Natalie to give her the dumbbell. “Here, I'll do a few.”
“Okay.” She handed Lise the weight.
“What the—,” Immediately her arm went down, nearly dropping the weight. “This is way too heavy.” She used both her hands to hold on to the weight before setting it down on the floor.
“Sorry, I thought you knew they were twenty pound weights.”
“No, I didn't notice. I need something lighter.” Lise walked over to the rack of weights and tested out a few different weights before selecting the eight pound dumbbells. She began doing arm curls, in the same manner Natalie had done.
Natalie went over to the rack and picked up the fifteen pound weights. She walked over to a bench and kneeled down on one knee to do triceps kick-backs.
Lise did arm curls, right next to her. “You know Nat, you can't keep going on like this…avoiding the pain. It’s not good for you. Besides, it’s been over four months now.”
“What? I’m not avoiding anything.” She did reps with her left arm. The fact was she hadn’t avoided the pain. She had cried and cried, and had even talked to her mom abo
ut what happened. Just because she hadn’t cried to Lise didn’t mean she avoided what happened. She didn’t wear her emotions on her sleeve or tell everyone her problems, like Lise did. Natalie preferred to be more private and only tell on a need to know basis.
“Then why don’t you want to go out?” Lise set the dumbbell down.
Natalie switched arms and began lifting the weight with her right arm. “I don’t care to meet any guys or get involved with anyone right now.” She had made a promise to herself not to get hurt again. Never would she let a guy deceive her like Tony did.
Lise turned away and sat down on another bench next to her. “Just because you’re going out doesn’t mean you have to hook up with anyone. Let’s go and have some fun.”
“I’m sorry, but you and I both know those guys will be there and you’re going to drag me with you so you can hang out with them. And I don’t want to.” She put the dumbbells back on the weight rack and walked over to the bench press.
Lise followed right behind her. “Oh come on, Nat. They’re nice guys and you already know Ryan.”
She ignored Lise, not saying a word. Even though Ryan was a nice guy, she couldn’t afford to get involved. She knew that something had sparked between them and if she ran into him at the bar, chances were they would talk. Talking could lead to something more. She wouldn’t get hurt again.
She picked up two twenty-five pound weights and placed one on each side of the bar and lay back on the bench. “Spot me, please?”
Lise moved in position behind her. She leaned over and said in a low voice, “You know, Ryan seems to be so much better than Tony. And definitely hotter than him.”
Natalie's eye narrowed at Lise but she ignored her and kept doing her workout, not giving in to her pleading. She closed her eyes, trying to block out Lise’s hounding voice.
“Oh no, please don’t tell me they know each other.”
She opened her eyes. “No, they don’t. Ryan had already graduated when Tony enrolled our junior year.”
“Okay, good.” Lise didn’t say anything for about half a minute and then started in again. “So let’s go. Think about it. You, me, Ryan and Sal. It will be fun.” Lise sang out.
Natalie pushed the weight up faster and faster until she couldn't handle it any longer. She shoved the bar back on the rack. “Just stop, Lise!” She jumped off the bench and walked off, not caring if she caused a scene. She held her head with her hands, pacing around in a circle.
Lise had no idea what she had gone through because she hadn’t told her much. Only that they broke up and she never wanted to see him again. Little did she know that her high school sweetheart had turned into an arrogant, selfish, money flaunting, chic magnet playboy. The images of him lying in bed with two girls haunted her mind. How had he gone from this quiet, innocent, and charming boy with a swooning Italian accent to this player?
Natalie sat back down on the bench, keeping her face buried in her hands. She could feel the tears coming on and she squeezed her eyes tighter, trying to keep them from seeping out.
“Hey, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to…” Lise put her hand on Natalie’s shoulder.
Natalie jerked her body forward, away from her hand. “Don’t. Don’t say anything. I need a minute.”
She couldn’t stop thinking about all she had done for Tony. Helping him fit in at school and learn the American way when he moved from Italy to the US. How they fell in love with one another and how she thought he was the one. Why did she agree to move to Austin and go to college with him? She should have listened to her parents. Just because his father decided to open his winery in Austin didn’t mean she had to follow him. How could she have been such a fool? She was smarter than that.
She wiped the tears from her eyes and looked at Lise. She sat hunched over, staring at the ground. Her puppy dog eyes and pouty lips said it all. “I’m sorry Lise—”
“No, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to keep nagging. I didn’t realize how bad he hurt you. We don’t have to go out if you don’t want to.”
Natalie shook her head. “No, you’re right. I can’t stay a recluse forever. I have to get out and enjoy life.” She wouldn’t let Tony get the best of her. She had a life to live and she couldn’t be scared all her life. There was only one thing she could do and that was to protect her heart.
Lise’s pouty lips turned up in to a full smile. “Seriously?”
Natalie nodded. “Yeah, let’s finish our workout and then get ready to go out.”
Lise clapped her hands like a small child that had been promised a toy. “We’re going to have so much fun tonight.”
Natalie rolled her eyes and let out a small giggle. “You are the bubbliest person I know.”
Lise shrugged her shoulders. “What can I say?”
“Thanks for making me feel better.”
Lise wrapped her arm around Natalie’s shoulders. “Anytime. That’s what friends are for. In fact we’re going to celebrate.”
“Celebrate what?” She retracted her head back.
“New beginnings for you and me.”