“There you go again. Well, I guess I just feel like it’s been forced on me my whole life. You know what I mean?”
“I think so.”
“Can we change the subject?”
“Sure. What would you like to talk about?”
“Anything but religion.”
“Politics?”
“Or politics.”
Richard laughed. “Good. I don’t particularly care to talk about politics either. So, did you grow up on a farm?”
“Yep. Don’t miss it. You?”
“I’ve never lived on a farm. We always lived in town. I’ve heard farms are stinky.”
“Well, farms typically have animals. Animals don’t usually make use of the sewer system.” She held her nose for emphasis.
“I hear you. I can see why you don’t miss it.” He laughed. “How do you like New York so far?”
“Oh, I love it!”
“You don’t miss your family?”
She shrugged. “Some, I guess. But I’d have to say I miss Lis the most.”
“Your sister?”
“No. My best friend. I’m hoping that she’ll come here one of these days. I keep telling her how awesome it is.”
“Do you think she’ll come?”
“I don’t know. It’ll be even harder for her. She’s Amish.”
“You don’t see too many horses and buggies in New York City.”
“Only fancy carriages once in a while. Yeah, it would be difficult for her, for sure.”
“Well, I’m glad you came.” Richard smiled down at her and brought her hand to his lips.
“Yes, so am I.” Mattie smiled.
<><><>
Greetings, Mattie!
New York sounds like such fun! I hope I can come visit someday. Luke said we can take a trip there after we get hitched, but I was hoping to go sooner than that. Besides, I’m not sure what I want to do just yet.
Things are going fine here. Everything is pretty much the same. I think Jacob might be thinkin’ of courtin’ Rachel Brenneman. I’m pretty certain sure they like each other. I think they’d make a good match, ain’t so? Well, I guess only Gott knows that.
Your fancy Englischer sounds real nice. I’m glad you found a good man.
I miss you, Mattie. I miss our talks, even though yours were always about New York. I’m glad you’re happy. I feel lonely here without you. It would be wonderful gut if we could see each other again!
Your gut friend,
Lis
P.S. JJ said thanks for paying them back the money.
Chapter 16
Matthew stared at the calendar on the dining room wall. He flipped through the previous months and admired the photographs on each page. A large red circle caught his eye and he sighed. It had been six months now since Mattie left.
Lord, was I too hard on her?
He never thought any of his children would desire something different than the life of blessings God had provided for them. God, You said to train up a child in the way he should go and when he is old he will not depart from it. I’m trusting that verse. I don’t know what Mattie’s doing, Lord. Is she ruining her life? Please send someone to minister to her. Please keep my precious daughter safe and let her return to You.
Matthew wiped a lone tear. He’d never been one to cry before Mattie left, but it seemed his resolve had broken down. A father’s heart could only bear so much. How did You do it, Lord? They even mistreated Your Son. How could You handle that? That was something he was sure he’d never understand. But man wasn’t meant to understand God’s ways. Lord, help me to trust and obey.
He turned the calendar back to the current month and walked into the kitchen. His wife turned from the stove and must’ve noticed his contemplative countenance.
“What’s wrong?” Maryanna frowned.
“Just thinkin’ about our daughter. You know, she’s been gone for almost six months now.”
Maryanna nodded silently.
“I’m just wonderin’ if she’ll ever come back home.” He hated the fact that he couldn’t stop the tears from pricking his eyes.
“Why don’t you write her a letter?”
“She hasn’t sent her address to us. I have no idea where she even is.”
“She’s in New York. I can’t imagine that she hasn’t contacted Elisabeth. I’m certain she’ll have Mattie’s address.”
“I’m not much for writing. I don’t know. What would I write?”
Maryanna took his hands in hers and gazed into his eyes, the way she had so many times over the last twenty years. “I’m sure God will give you the words to say.”
He nodded and swallowed hard. Although they’d had their share of arguments over the years, when he was feeling down, Maryanna always knew what to say to him. “All right.”
<><><>
Mattie didn’t bother to check her mailbox every day because she seldom received mail, and when she did, it was usually junk mail or bills that had come due. It had been nearly a week since she’d last checked the box, and Jackie had been out of town. So, with key in hand, she sauntered to the hallway where the boxes for the renters were located.
She sifted through the mail, removing Jackie’s things, but throwing most of it away. The last item caught her eye. Paradise, Pennsylvania? The handwriting look somewhat familiar, but it certainly didn’t belong to Elisabeth. She’d wait until she was back in the comfort of her room to devour the letter from whoever.
Mattie sat on her favorite comfy chair, a Papasan chair is what Jackie had said it was called. She stared at the letter and attempted to decipher the handwriting. It didn’t belong to Lis or Mom; as a matter of fact, it didn’t look like it was written by a female. JJ wouldn’t have written to her, would they? For the life of her, she couldn’t figure it out.
She finally opened the letter and immediately read the last word. Dad. Mattie stared at the letter for nearly ten minutes before reading it. She was tempted to tear it up and throw it into the trash can, but then she’d never know what its contents held.
She took a deep breath.
Daughter,
I’m not one for writing letters. I don’t really know what to say except that I miss you.
Mattie stopped reading. Really, Dad? Somehow I can’t believe that. She shook her head and continued reading to see what other ludicrous statements her father had to make.
I know we haven’t always gotten along. Mattie rolled her eyes, but continued. I admit some of that was my fault. I didn’t always know how to handle you. I apologize for my lack of knowledge in that area. If I’ve said hurtful words to you, please forgive me.
I hope you are happy in New York. I hope you have found whatever it is you’ve been searching for.
Mattie, please don’t abandon God. I’ve been praying for you and will continue.
Dad
<><><>
Richard’s index fingers steepled in front of his chin as he peered at Mattie. “So, will you write your father back?”
Mattie shook her head. “I don’t have anything to say to him.”
“I don’t think that’s true.” Richard frowned.
“When I left, my father told me not to come back. Just because he’s feeling bad about my leaving doesn’t mean I do. I’m happy in New York.”
“Even so, shouldn’t you at least acknowledge that you received his letter?”
“Why should I, Richard?”
“Honor? Respect?”
“I’ve lost all my respect for my father. I won’t write him back.”
“I think you should.”
“Yeah, I know. Can we please change the subject?”
“If that’s what you’d like.”
“Yes, it is. So, where are we going for dinner tonight?”
“Chinese?” His brow shot up.
“Sounds good to me. Then what?”
Richard leaned close and nuzzled her neck. “We can go back to my place.” He studied her expression, waiting for her protest.
“That s
ounds nice.”
He leaned back and frowned. “Really?”
She shrugged. “If you want to.”
“Mattie, don’t tempt me like that.”
“You suggested it.”
“Well, yeah, but I didn’t expect you to say yes.”
“What if I am saying yes?”
“Don’t. Please. Because I don’t know if I’m strong enough to say no.”
Mattie laughed. “Did I find your weak spot, Richard?” she teased.
“Yes, that would definitely be my weak spot.” He shook his head in an attempt to clear it. “It’s getting hot in here. We’d better go.”
Chapter 17
Elisabeth smiled at Luke, splashed water in his direction, and then quickly bobbed under the water’s surface to dodge his vehement retaliation. Fortunately, she was several feet away from him and not within reach.
“You know there’re consequences for bad behavior,” Luke teased.
“You gotta catch me first!” She pushed more water in his direction.
At his charge, Elisabeth swam as fast as she could to the edge of the pond. She ran along the shore, with Luke in hot pursuit. When he lunged at her, she jumped back into the water and swam for dear life. A firm grasp on her ankle told her she’d been caught.
“Oh, no you don’t!” Luke laughed.
“Ach, let me go!” She giggled, but feigned offense and wriggled wildly.
“Not until you give me what I want first,” he insisted.
“What’s that?”
“A kiss.”
“Then you’ll let me go?”
His gaze smoldered. “I don’t intend to ever let you go, Lis.”
She understood his hidden meaning. Out of breath from struggling to get away, she finally conceded. “Okay, I give up.”
“Really?” Luke pulled her close.
Elisabeth nodded.
The moment Luke’s lips met hers and he chuckled, she knew she’d fallen into a trap. When Luke lifted his hands from her neck and shoulders, cool mud remained in their place.
“Luke Beiler, I’m gonna get you for that!” she threatened.
“Oh, I hope so!”
She quickly reached to the bottom of the pond, grasped a handful of mud, and charged after him. Luke leapt from the water and ran toward their picnic blanket.
“No fair!” Elisabeth stopped to catch her breath. “I can’t keep up with you.”
“It’s about time you realized that.” He smiled. “Drop your weapons and I’ll stop.”
“Fine.”
He looked back to be sure she released the mud from her hands.
She held up her hands. “See? No mud. Are you happy now?”
He sauntered toward her. “Uh-huh. I’m always happy when I’m with you.”
“Stop right there!” She thrust her palm out toward him. “Let me see your hands.”
“Why?”
“Because I don’t trust you. How do I know you’re not armed?”
He lifted up empty hands. “There. Now, are you happy?”
She nodded.
“Good.” He ran toward her full force.
“Luke, what are you doing?” Elisabeth laughed.
Her question was answered swiftly when he lifted her from the ground and spun her around. She’d never seen him so joyful. “What if I asked you to marry me?”
He set her back down so she could gather her bearings.
“Luke…”
His gaze turned sober. “It’s been almost two years.”
“I know.” She frowned.
“How long do we have to wait, Lis?”
She shrugged.
“Please don’t say no.” Elisabeth didn’t miss the emotion in his voice.
“Then don’t ask. I’m not ready.”
His fists clenched momentarily. “I love you, Elisabeth Schrock.”
“I know.”
Luke frowned. “Please don’t make me wait forever.”
She stared into his mesmerizing blue eyes and lifted a half smile. “I won’t.”
<><><>
Hi Mattie,
How I wish you were here to talk to! I miss you. It’s not the same with you gone. I’m so tempted to come see you.
I feel torn. Luke is a good beau, really he is. He’s been hinting at marriage and I’m really not comfortable with it. I really don’t think it’s him; it’s me. I’ve been discontent here lately. Things that never really bothered me before bug me now. My folks seem to be on my case about everything lately, so I can totally relate to how you felt with your dad. How is that going, by the way?
I look at the Englisch world and there’s something about it that sounds so appealing. What is it like to wear whatever you feel like instead of what your folks and church leaders say you can wear? What’s it like to have a phone in your purse and be able to call someone at any time? I have so many questions for you.
Remember what you said about those computer classes? Well, I’ve been learning some. I like it a lot. I think I would enjoy a job like that. It’s a lot more fun than I thought it would be. It would sure beat milking cows every morning and churning butter.
Well, I should go now. If you think about it, please pray for me. I need to know what to do. By the way, Richard sounds really nice!
Sincerely,
Lis
Chapter 18
Richard stopped in at his sister’s apartment after church to see Mattie. It was a ritual he’d begun when they’d started dating. He’d hoped that eventually he’d be able to persuade Mattie to join him, but so far his efforts had been fruitless. Honestly, he felt like giving up sometimes.
“Mattie, will you ever come with me to church?” He hoped he didn’t sound as desperate as he’d been feeling lately.
“I don’t need church.”
“Everyone needs church.”
“Why? People can worship God anywhere.”
“I agree with that statement partly. We can worship God anywhere and everywhere, but that doesn’t mean that people don’t need church. God is the One who ordained the church. He set it up. He knew that we would need a place to find love and encouragement and fellowship with other believers. For Christians, it gets tough in this world. We need all the support we can get. It’s a lifeline of sorts.”
“I have everything I need without all that.”
“Well, for someone who’s been saved, I can tell you what it’s like to be without a church family. It’s like a coal that has been removed from the fire. Without the other coals to help produce heat and warmth, that coal will go out. With the help of the other hot coals, that single coal will eventually light on fire.”
“Church never really meant all that much to me.”
“I’m sorry to hear that.” Richard shook his head. “I’ve got a revelation for you, Mattie. Church and everything else in this life is not about you.”
“Did I ever say it was?”
“You didn’t have to.”
“That was rude.”
“I’m speaking the truth in love.”
“Is that what you call it?”
“Mattie, how can I get you to see? Here’s the problem. When we take our eyes off Jesus and only focus on ourselves and our circumstances, we can no longer see Him. God says that He will keep us in perfect peace if we keep our eyes on Him.”
“Is that in the Bible?”
Richard didn’t miss the sarcasm in her voice, but he would use her question as an opportunity to show her what the Bible had to say. After all, God said that His Word would not return void. And right now, Richard would take any and every opportunity he got, no matter how small.
“Yes,” he quickly opened the black book in his lap before she could protest, “Isaiah, twenty-six, verse three says Thou wilt keep him in perfect peace, whose mind is stayed on thee, because he trusteth in thee. Anytime I feel my peace slipping, I know it’s because I’ve taken my eyes, and, thus, my mind, off Jesus. Where is your focus, Mattie?”
“Well, a
pparently I don’t need God. I have all the peace I need.”
“Do you really?”
“Yes.”
“Why did you come to New York, Mattie?”
She swallowed. “Why?”
Was she stalling for time? “Yes, why?”
“Well, I – I wanted to.”
“Is that the only reason?”
“Yeah, why?”
He’d hoped she’d answer honestly so he didn’t have to call her out on the carpet, but it seemed he had no choice. “It didn’t have anything to do with your family? Your father?”
“Wh–” She frowned. “Why would you think that?”
“Be honest, Mattie.”
“The only–” Her eyes moved to her desk. “Wait a minute. Have you been reading my mail?”
“Answer my question first.” He folded his arms firmly across his chest.
“Maybe. Yes, my father is partly why I left when I did.”
“Have you forgiven him?”
“I already answered your question. Answer mine now. Did you read my mail, Richard?”
He nodded once.
“I can’t believe it! You really did read my mail? My letters are personal. You had no right to do that!” Tears pricked her eyes.
“Would you have told me the truth otherwise?”
“Maybe there are some things that I’d rather not have you know about, Richard. Did you ever think of that?”
“Mattie, when two people love each other, they don’t keep secrets.” He rubbed her arm.
She stepped away. “Oh, yeah? Well, when two people love each other, they don’t sneak around behind each other’s backs and read their private letters either!”
“Mattie…” Richard sighed. “I only did it because I care about you. I care about us. I’m sorry.”
She shook her head. “That’s not good enough, Richard.”
“What else do you want me say?”
She shrugged.
“Well, I should probably go then.” He walked up behind her and gently placed a kiss on her cheek. “Goodbye, Mattie.” Richard ambled to the door with a heavy heart. There were so many things he wanted to say but they’d have to wait. If he and Mattie were to have any future together, they would definitely need to work through their differences. Had he been a fool in hoping that Mattie could change?
Englisch on Purpose (Prequel to Amish by Accident) Page 9