by Ivy Smoak
“Bad news?” Felix asked as he sat down next to Kennedy. “I’m hurt. I thought we were friends.”
“In your dreams,” Kennedy said.
He flashed her that same cocky smile he’d flashed me earlier.
“Brooklyn is not a customer, so take your antics somewhere else.”
“Ouch.” Felix touched his chest. “That hurts. I’m just being cordial. Can’t a guy come say hello?”
“Not when he’s you.”
“Psh, you love me.” He picked up one of her sweet potato fries and ate it.
“You have it backward. I hate you.”
I didn’t know Kennedy that well, but by the expression on her face, it didn’t look like she actually hated him. She looked more annoyed than anything. Or maybe flustered?
“Great picture of you guys,” Felix said and nodded toward the one Kennedy had just given to me.
“Thanks,” I said.
“Weren’t you just leaving?” Kennedy said at the same time.
Why was she being so mean? I glanced over at the Untouchables’ table. Still no sign of them.
Felix laughed. “So tell me,” he said and leaned forward, trying to get my attention. “How did a girl like you end up in a shitty place like this?”
I laughed, trying to ignore the table that was calling to me. “You mean the nicest school in the city?” Because my mom died. Because my uncle works here. But I didn’t want to talk to him about my mom. And my uncle didn’t want anyone to know he worked here. “Like you said during gym. I have a scholarship.”
“Obviously, but I meant the fact that you’re not a local. You’re clearly not from New York.”
I wasn’t sure whether to be offended or take it as a compliment. I wasn’t a New Yorker. And I was glad I wasn’t. Before I could think of what to say, I noticed movement out of the corner of my eye. Mason, James, and Rob were all seated there now, but Matt was still missing. James didn’t look anything like he had this morning. I was pretty sure he was even wearing a freshly pressed uniform, because the one he had on earlier had looked disheveled.
“I’m sorry, what was your question?” I asked.
“Where are you from?”
“She’s from a small town in Delaware,” Kennedy said. “And she knows better than to get mixed up in whatever the hell you’re doing. So scram.”
Felix laughed. “I’m just talking to you guys. I’d never sell anything to someone like Brooklyn.” He winked at me.
Again, I didn’t know whether to be offended or not. But his statement seemed to confirm that Kennedy was right. Felix was a drug dealer. She was probably right about all of it. He was trying to befriend me so I’d buy from him. He should have been talking to the rich kids here, not me. I didn’t have money for drugs, not that I’d ever take them. “Kennedy’s right, I don’t do drugs.”
“Great.” He glanced at her and then back at me. “Because I’m not trying to sell either of you anything. I swear.”
“I find that hard to believe,” Kennedy said.
He shrugged. “Believe me or not, I have more than enough clients. I didn’t come over here to sell you pot. I was actually inviting you to a party at my house on Friday night.”
Kennedy laughed. “No thanks.”
“Newb?” he looked at me.
“God, you already have a nickname for her and everything?” Kennedy rolled her eyes.
“What Kennedy meant to say is thank you, but we’re working,” I said. “I’m sorry.” I was apologizing more for her behavior than anything.
He smiled. “It’ll go pretty late, so swing by after. Kennedy knows where I live. Catch you girls later.” He tapped twice on the table, stood up, and walked away.
“What the heck was that?” I asked. “You didn’t have to be so mean.” I felt the hairs rise on the back of my neck, the same way they had when Matthew had walked into the bathroom Friday night. I glanced at his table out of the corner of my eye. But he still wasn’t there.
“Me? You kept looking at the Untouchables' table the whole time he was talking to you. That was just as rude.”
“You kept telling Felix to leave,” I said without acknowledging her comment. I knew I kept glancing at the Untouchables' table. I was practically addicted to looking at them. But this wasn’t about me. Something was up with her. “Why?”
Kennedy shook her head. “Stop talking.”
“Really, what did he do to you? Please don’t tell me you used to be addicted to crack or something.”
Even though I said it as a joke, Kennedy started to shake her head even more frantically.
“You weren’t, were you? A crack addict?”
“Sh! He’ll hear you.”
I glanced over at Felix. He was across the cafeteria now. “You can tell me. You know that, Kennedy. What did he do to you?”
“Stop talking,” she mouthed silently at me this time.
“Sometimes one taste is all it takes,” Matthew said and sat down next to me. “Your friend is just looking out for you.”
It felt like all the air left my lungs. Oh my God, that’s why she was shaking her head. I silently cursed myself for not realizing she was trying to tell me Matthew was behind me. And I had no idea what I had just been saying. Hopefully it wasn’t something embarrassing. But I was pretty sure I had been talking about crack. “Hi, Matthew,” I said. My voice came out all weird and high.
He smiled. “You can call me Matt.”
“Matt.” I was pretty sure I was melting under his gaze. I’d been waiting to talk to him all day, and that was all I could muster to say? I’d watched him a lot at lunch, but I never realized how comically big he was for the little seats attached to the table. He barely fit, which made so many parts of him a fraction of an inch away from touching me. Or was he just leaning in closer to me? My heart started beating fast. We’d been this close once before, but not in public. Not when we were surrounded by other students that I was pretty sure he knew didn’t want me around.
“I’d recommend staying away from Felix too,” he said. "You don’t want to get mixed up in that.”
I nodded. “Nunca.”
He laughed. “Never. That’s good to know.”
I hadn’t even realized I’d said it out loud. Kennedy laughed too.
Matt looked over at her. “Mr. Lewis is kind of an ass huh?” he said.
Her face flushed. “Definitely. You were only a few minutes late. It wasn’t a big deal.”
He smiled at her and then looked back down at me. Or rather…my hand. “How’s the cut?” He’d lowered his voice, but I knew Kennedy could hear. Still, it felt intimate, even though we were in the crowded cafeteria.
“Better. Thanks to you.”
He reached out and ran his index finger along my Band-Aid. As if only seeing it for himself would reassure him.
Yup, I was definitely melting. I’d thought about this moment a lot. But it was never like this. He’d invited me into his world in my dreams. There was something nice about the fact that he’d come over and sat in mine. We both knew I didn’t belong in his.
And he didn’t seem as untouchable over here. Or maybe it was because he was touching me.
“And your shoe?” he asked.
“All better too.”
“Close call.”
If only he knew.
He leaned a little closer to me, his thigh brushing against mine. I thought his hands were warm. The rest of him was scorching. It felt like I could barely breathe.
“About what you overheard this morning…” he said.
I shook my head. “I really didn’t hear anything. I was on my way to class. I just saw you guys and it looked like you were fighting. It’s none of my business anyway.”
He licked his bottom lip as he listened to me. If that was the way he concentrated, I wanted to be his new study partner. Maybe he’d let me lick his lips for him. His smile grew, like he knew I was staring.
I forced my eyes back up to his. For a moment everything disappeared
. It was just us alone in that bathroom again. My heart started beating even faster as he stared at me intently.
“Just don’t tell anyone, okay?” he said. “We’re taking care of it.”
I nodded even though I didn’t know what exactly I was agreeing to. But I trusted him. It was hard not to believe everything that fell out of such a perfect mouth.
He cleared his throat. “Sorry, I shouldn’t have even mentioned it. That’s not why I came over. I was thinking,” he said and leaned in even closer. “Maybe we could go…”
“Matthew,” Isabella said, cutting him off. She put her hand on his arm. I watched as her fingernails dug into the fabric of his blazer. “We need to have a word.”
“I’m in the middle of something, Wizzy.” He shrugged her off.
The expression on her face made it look like she was going to slap him. I wasn’t sure if it was because he’d called her Wizzy or that he had shrugged her off. Probably both. But I was way more curious about why that was her nickname.
She didn’t slap him, but she didn’t back down either. “Now. It’s about that extracurricular we talked about the other day. You know the one. I wanted to see if we should tell our friends all about it.” I was pretty sure she tried to smile sweetly at him, but it looked like she was about to bite his neck and suck his blood.
Matt lowered his eyebrows. “Yeah. No.” He shook his head and turned back to me. “I’ll see you in class, okay, Brooklyn?”
Isabella pulled him away before I had a chance to respond.
The ticking I always heard in my head stopped. Boom. No wonder Isabella hated me. Extracurriculars my ass. I swallowed hard. Were they dating?
“You got asked out twice in one day,” Kennedy said without looking up at me. “I think that’s a new record.” She pushed around her sweet potato fries with a fork.
What was up with her? “Felix asked us both to come. And Matt didn’t get to finish his sentence. But I don’t think he was asking me out.” He ran off with Isabella the second he got a chance.
“Of course he was. Stupid Isabella just cut him off.”
“Maybe.” But I had a sinking feeling in my stomach. “I guess I’ll find out in class.”
Kennedy continued to absentmindedly push her food around her plate.
“Do you want to talk about what happened with Felix?” I asked.
The bell rang, signaling the end of lunch.
“Saved by the bell,” she mumbled and got up so fast I didn’t get a chance to say goodbye. But she hadn’t said goodbye either.
I sat there for a moment longer. My new friend Felix was a drug dealer. Kennedy was mad at me. And Matt was probably dating Isabella. Could this day get any worse?
Chapter 7
Monday
It was finally time for my last class of the day. Entrepreneurial studies. Better known to me as my class with Matt, because I was much better at studying him than the assignments. I sat down in my usual seat, which was always directly behind Matt. It was the only time I could stare shamelessly at him. And even though my stomach was twisted in knots from my shitty day, I was still excited to see him. Talk to him. That would be a first in this room. But I wasn’t going to pretend that nothing happened at lunch like I was pretending I hadn’t seen anything this morning. I needed to know if he was seeing Isabella. The thought made my stomach churn even more.
Matt and Rob came in right before the bell rang.
I smiled up at Matt and he…didn’t even glance in my direction as he sat down in front of me.
I opened my mouth and then closed it. That was harsh. Was he seriously going to act like Friday night hadn’t happened? Like he hadn’t just sat with me at lunch? What the hell?
I pressed my lips together. He was probably just focused on getting to his seat in time. Right?
Mr. Hill was writing something on the board.
I took his moment of distraction to lean forward. “Matt?” I whispered.
He didn’t turn around. He didn’t move at all. It was like he hadn’t even heard me. I touched my throat, like maybe there was something defective in my vocal cords.
The girl that sat to my left snickered. I recognized her from Isabella’s posse. I was pretty sure her name was Charlotte.
“In your poor girl dreams,” Charlotte said with a laugh. She didn’t even bother to whisper. A few other students laughed too.
Matt didn’t laugh. But he also didn’t come to my rescue like he had on Friday night. He just…didn’t acknowledge that anything had happened at all. For some reason, that stung even more.
I didn’t feel like I was going crazy though. Because Rob turned to him and gave him a strange look, like he was trying to figure him out too.
“You’re here,” Charlotte said and put her hand on my desk. “The Caldwell’s are here.” She lifted her hand above my head. “So why are you even attempting to speak to him?”
“Because we’re friends,” I said, more to the back of Matt’s head than to her. And despite the fact that I believed it, the words came out as more of a question than a statement. Because right now I could really use a friend. And Matt? He was ignoring me like what Charlotte was saying was true.
Matt ran his fingers through his golden hair instead of agreeing with me. But I noticed the way his shoulders were moving up and down a little faster like he was breathing hard. Was he holding back laughter?
He’s trying not to laugh at me. The realization hit me like a ton of bricks. He actually agrees with her.
Rob looked at him and then turned around. “How about you just leave her alone, Charlotte?” he said. “You’re acting like anyone here actually likes you when all you are is Isabella’s minion.”
She glared at Rob. “This is between me, her, and Matt. It has nothing to do with you.”
“It does if you…”
“Nope.” Charlotte popped the “p” in nope. “She’s a loser. No one would be friends with her, including you, Rob. So don’t even pretend to be her knight in shining armor when we both know she’ll never deserve one.”
More students started laughing. I could feel the tears prickling the corners of my eyes.
She turned her attention back to me. “How about you go back to whatever public school you came from?” she said. “Nobody, and I mean nobody, wants you here.”
The pencil in Matt’s hand snapped in half.
“Isn’t that right, Matt?” Charlotte said. “Don’t you wish she’d just…disappear?”
The way she said it made me swallow hard. What did she mean by that? I wanted to think it meant nothing. But I was pretty sure people as rich as her had the means to make people disappear without a trace.
“Poof. Gone.” She snapped her fingers.
“Shut the hell up, Charlotte,” Matt finally said. His words were like ice and I felt frozen in place. But he didn’t turn around to look at me or her. He just kept looking straight ahead at the board.
“What…it’s true,” Charlotte said. “He’ll never go out with you, Brook or whatever your name is. He’ll never even speak to you again. I’m positively sure of it.”
“Brooklyn. My name is Brooklyn.” I wasn’t sure why that was the only thing I’d decided to defend. Like suddenly the only thing I knew for sure was my name.
“Class has started, Miss Sanders,” our teacher said and tapped his chalk against the board. “How about you turn to page 27 of your book like everyone else has and read the section about innovation aloud?”
Charlotte snickered.
I felt my face turning red. Was Mr. Hill really calling me out for talking? All I’d said was my name and Charlotte had been antagonizing me for the first few minutes of class. Kennedy had told me that there were rumors about Mr. Hill hating scholarship students. That he sucked up to the rich kids so they'd invest in one of his crazy entrepreneurship ideas or something like that. I'd initially thought about dropping the class, but then it was the only one I had with Matt. And Mr. Hill had seemed okay until...this moment.
> “Now, Miss Sanders. Or would you like to spend the remainder of class in the principal’s office?”
I opened up to the page he’d written on the board and started reading.
Mr. Hill tapped his chalk against the board again. “I said the section about innovation. You’re three paragraphs too high. Pay attention.”
It seemed like everyone was laughing at me now. Matt’s shoulders were still moving like he was holding back laughter. But my eyes landed on the broken pencil on his desk and suddenly it didn’t seem like he was laughing. He seemed…angry. The rage was rolling off his shoulders. I could feel it.
I wanted to stop staring. Because the only person he had to be mad at was himself. Despite what Charlotte thought, I didn’t need a knight in shining armor. All I needed was a friend, and he’d failed pretty hard in that department.
“Last warning, Miss Sanders.”
Screw me. I’d been staring at Matt instead of reading. I started again three paragraphs down. With all the giggling around me I kept stumbling over my words, making their mockery significantly worse. I kept waiting for Mr. Hill to tell me I could stop reading out loud. But the reprieve never came. He made me recite page after page until the bell rang.
Thank God. My throat was on fire. I wasn’t sure I’d ever talked so much in my life. And my ears were ringing with the students' laughter. I was barely holding back my tears.
“Next time don’t talk during my class, Miss Sanders,” Mr. Hill said. “You’re all dismissed.”
I wasn’t at all surprised when Matt stood up and walked toward the door without saying a word to me. But he turned his head at the last second and glanced at me. I’d recognize the look on his face anywhere. Pity. It’s how everyone looked at me after my mom died. But he didn’t know anything about my mom. He actually didn’t know a single thing about me. And I didn’t need his pity. I didn’t need anything from him. Not in this classroom. Not ever.
“Later, Brook,” Charlotte said and followed Matt out of the classroom.