by Ivy Smoak
She would?
“Oh. In that case, it’s a definite yes. That makes me feel better.”
Kennedy beamed at him.
“Of course,” Felix said. “She’s definitely invited to come too.” His phone buzzed in his pocket and he pulled it out. “My driver just pulled up. I have to get going.” He smiled at me. “Thank you so much for dinner. Who knew vegetarian lasagna could be as good as normal lasagna?”
I laughed and pushed my chair back.
“It’s okay,” Kennedy said. “I’ll walk him out. I need to get home and study anyway.”
We usually did our homework together. But I was okay with being alone tonight. I needed a second to breathe. I thought about how easy it was to breathe in Matt’s exhales. Stop.
“Goodnight,” Felix said. He leaned down and hugged me, his breath warm in my ear. “I promise we can have some alone time on Saturday. You look beautiful tonight, by the way.”
I felt my cheeks flush. “You too. Goodnight,” I lamely said back as he and Kennedy left the apartment. Did I just tell him he looked beautiful too?
My uncle was quiet as I cleared the dishes from the table. And while I started scrubbing the plates. I looked behind me and he was doing his nightly crossword puzzle.
“What did you think of Felix?” I asked as I wiped my hands dry on a towel.
“I’m glad he has a driver,” he said while he filled out another word. “I don’t want you in a car with him if he’s behind the wheel. Do you understand?” He looked up at me and I had never seen him look so serious.
I shook my head. “Why?”
“I remembered what Kennedy said about him having a drug problem.”
“Uncle Jim…”
“I looked at his school records. He’s gotten in trouble several times for getting high on school premises with that Hunter kid.”
I remembered James Hunter coming into school looking like death. The dark circles under his eyes. The way he downed champagne at that party. The awkward conversation I’d had with Matt about him handling it. That there was nothing to worry about. “Which Hunter brother?” It was a strange question to ask. I should have been defending Felix. But for some reason my mind always ended up wandering back to the Untouchables.
“The older one, I think. James was the name in the write-ups. Look, I trust you, kiddo. I do. That’s the only reason I’m letting you go to that party Saturday night. But I don’t trust him. He came here with a bottle of wine, for Christ’s sakes. He’s clearly been left to his own devices for far too long. A staff isn’t the same as having parents.” He coughed into his shoulder.
“Felix never smokes around me. He’s never offered me drugs. All I’ve really heard are rumors. I’ve never seen it.”
“That doesn’t make it untrue.”
“I get that. But…” my voice trailed off. “I don’t know why any of it matters if you trust me.”
“Just promise me you won’t smoke.”
“I won’t.”
“And I don’t just mean cigarettes. I mean anything he tries to give you. Promise me that.” He looked so serious. Like his life depended on my answer.
“I promise.”
“Okay.” He lifted his pen back up for his crossword puzzle. “Other than that, he seems like a good enough kid. Just make sure you have a few of those things I gave you on you at all times. Just in case.”
I was pretty sure my face was redder than it had ever been. Thank God he hadn’t brought up the condoms when Felix was here. I had wanted to ask if Matt was my half-brother. But now that my uncle had basically just mentioned sex, I didn’t know how to bring Matt up without sounding weird. And honestly, it didn’t matter. I’d never tell a soul that he kissed me. And our kiss was certainly a one-time thing. If we were related? It was best if I never knew.
“I’m going to go do some homework.”
“Alright, kiddo.” He didn’t look back up.
I went to my room, sat on the edge of my bed, and pulled out the note that was tucked into my blazer pocket. Please, tell me I’m not too late.
My fingertips touched my lips, remembering how being kissed felt. Like my whole body was on fire. And the sound of Matt groaning? I swallowed hard and dropped my fingers from my lips.
My mom had once sat in this same bedroom when she was pregnant with me. And even though she wanted me, I knew I was a mistake. A mistake she probably brooded over. I didn’t need any time to brood over what happened today. That kiss was a mistake. And I would never. Ever. Kiss Matthew Caldwell again.
Chapter 17
Saturday
My elbow hit one of the walls of the bathroom stall and I cursed under my breath. I doubted Kennedy would let me leave here in my catering attire. So I’d brought a change of clothes to ensure she wouldn’t dress me again. I didn’t want to repeat anything that had happened at the last party.
Tonight would be different though. I was wearing a comfortable sundress instead of a slutty miniskirt. And I was going to stay clear of punch, even if it was delicious. I was not going to get drunk again. Or make a fool of myself. I remembered touching Matt’s face like he was make-believe. I had picture evidence to prove it.
I pulled on my brown riding boots and shoved my other clothes into my backpack. When I walked out of the bathroom stall Kennedy was applying lipstick.
She smacked her lips together before turning to me. “You ready?”
As ready as I’d ever be to face another party. My first one had been such a disaster that my stomach had been upset all day just thinking about it. I nodded my head.
“This is going to be so much fun. The three amigas at it again!”
We made our way out the back entrance of the hotel and toward the main street. “Are you sure you’re okay with all this?” I asked. “You’ve been acting really weird ever since I told you I liked Felix.”
“Psh. What? No.” She laughed. “I mean yes, I’m sure I’m okay. We’re going to have so much fun tonight. Oh, I almost forgot.” She pulled out her camera and held it out in front of us. “Smile!” She pressed her cheek against mine and snapped the picture.
A car pulled up in front of us. The door opened and Felix leaned out. “Hey.” He was all smiles and his energy was contagious. All my worries about the party suddenly vanished. What was the worst that could happen when he was by my side?
“Hey!” Kennedy said. She climbed in before me, sliding into the middle seat next to Felix.
I sat down next to her and shut the door behind me.
“How was work?” Felix asked.
“Great,” Kennedy said. “Neither of us dropped anything and we didn’t run into anyone from school. So it was a win.”
He laughed.
“I need another picture.” She held out the camera and I moved closer.
“Don’t be shy,” Kennedy said to Felix. “You have to get closer to be in the frame. Here.” She threw her free arm around his shoulders, pulling him in. “The three amigas!” she shouted.
Was she already drunk?
Felix leaned forward so he could see me around Kennedy. “I like your dress,” he said. “And the boots.”
I smiled. “Thank you.”
“Excited for the party?”
“I’m excited to finish the tour of your place,” I said.
“My place?”
“Yeah, I never saw the second floor.” What am I talking about? Why did I keep asking to see his bedroom? I’d had him standing right outside mine and I hadn’t invited him in. Why on earth did I keep trying to get into his?
“The party isn’t at my apartment,” Felix said.
Wait, what? “Oh. Where is it?”
“The Caldwell’s.”
I swallowed hard. Yesterday after class Matt had leaned over and whispered in my ear, “See you in the auditorium again.” I hadn’t gone. Of course I hadn’t gone. But he thought I would. He thought I liked our kiss. My stomach churned.
“That should be interesting,” Kennedy said.
I hadn’t
told Kennedy about my kiss with Matt. I hadn’t told anyone about that kiss. I wasn’t exactly fond of gossiping about incest. Did Kennedy somehow know I may have kissed my brother? What is my life?
“Why should this be interesting?” Felix asked.
Kennedy looked at me and I gave her my best death stare. She laughed and turned back to Felix. “You didn’t seem to get along very well with Matt at the last party. I’m surprised he invited you tonight.”
He shrugged. “We’d all been drinking. It wasn’t a big deal. It’s old news. Besides, Mason invited me, not Matt.”
“But certainly Matt’s going to be there," Kennedy said.
“Probably. But it’s a big house. I doubt we’ll run into Matt anyway. And even if we do…like I said, it’s old news.”
“If you say so," Kennedy said slowly.
My stomach was already upset. And now I was really overheated. I felt like I was sweating as hard as I did on my runs.
Kennedy gave me an encouraging smile. “You know what would be fun? If we ditched the party and went like miniature golfing or something.”
“I don’t think they have any mini golf near here,” Felix said.
“I’m pretty sure they have it at Coney Island." She leaned forward like she was about to reroute the driver.
“That’s like an hour out of town," Felix said. "Come on, the party will be fun. And I promised I’d be there.”
I nudged Kennedy, letting her know it was okay. It was so nice that she had my back again. And I realized I was feeling a little guilty for not telling her about Matt. She’d help me through this. And even though I wanted to bury the secret a hundred miles underground, I knew that wasn’t possible. I was a brother kisser. I was probably going to wind up in jail.
“And we’re already here,” Felix said and gestured out the window. There were fancy cars parked all along the circular driveway. But I barely saw them because all I could see was the house. No, not house. It was a freaking museum, or hotel, or something from a movie set. A super mega gargantuan behemoth stone mansion. It had gargoyles and everything. There were even bushes cut to look like gargoyles. It was kind of spooky. I wouldn’t be surprised if we had crossed a moat a mile back that I somehow missed. A moat filled with blood.
The car pulled to a stop in front of the big black doors. We climbed out of the car and up the stone steps out front. Was it colder on the outskirts of the city or was it just me? I folded my arms across my chest.
I was expecting a total transformation when I walked inside like when I’d gone to Felix’s place. Felix’s parents had made everything inside modern. But the inside of the Caldwell mansion was as gothic as the outside. Dark marble floors. Dark red wallpaper. Black and white pictures on the walls in what were probably pure gold frames. The only thing that didn’t match was the modern music drifting into the foyer.
“This place is hella creepy,” Kennedy said.
Felix laughed. “I think it’s cool. You know,” he said, lowering his voice. “Rumor has it that the place is haunted. That the Caldwell brothers’ great great grandmother hung herself from that very chandelier.”
I looked up at the crystal chandelier. I wanted to call his bluff. A chandelier would snap if someone tried to hang themselves from it. Right? The crystals looked delicate, but the chandelier itself did look pretty sturdy.
I pulled my jacket tighter around myself. “Where is everyone?” There had been people everywhere when we’d gone into Felix’s apartment. But there was no one in the foyer. Just that hint of music coming from the…left? I turned around in a circle. Or was it the right? I looked into a dark hallway.
“They’re probably in the ballroom.” Felix pulled out his phone and glanced at it. “But I gotta meet Mason and a few other people upstairs real quick. I’ll catch up with you guys in a minute.”
“No freaking way,” Kennedy said. “We’re coming with you.”
He laughed. “They’re upstairs.”
They’re? That could easily include Matt. I didn’t like this. I didn’t like this at all. But what was the alternative? Walking down that dark hallway alone? No thank you. I followed Felix and Kennedy up the winding staircase, trying my best not to look over at the chandelier.
The upstairs was just as creepy as the downstairs. I started envisioning the kind of coffins vampires slept in behind all the closed doors.
Felix stopped in front of one of the doors and knocked. I stepped back when a wave of smoke blew the door open. Kennedy gripped my arm for dear life and screamed at the top of her lungs.
The smoke laughed. Well, not the smoke. A hand swished the air, blowing the smoke away. Mason was standing there, a joint hanging from his upturned lips. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you.” His eyes raked over Kennedy and I swore I heard her gulp.
“Congrats on the win,” Felix said.
Smoke swirled in front of Mason’s face. He removed the joint from his mouth and a puff of smoke masked his face again. “Thanks, man. It was a close one.”
“That touchdown saved the day.”
The smoke dispersed at Mason smiled. “I was just lucky my brother was there to catch it.”
Matt. I wondered if he was in the room behind him. I tried to peer around Mason but his shoulders were too broad.
“Ladies, if you’ll excuse us for just a moment,” Mason said. He opened up the door and gestured for Felix to come in. The door swung closed a bit when Mason let go. I could only just see into the dark room. Mostly I could just see more smoke. If Matt was there, I couldn’t make him out.
“I thought he was a smoke monster,” Kennedy said.
I laughed but it sounded forced. “Me too.”
“Do you think what Felix said was true? About their great great grandmother?”
“I don’t know.”
Kennedy kept ahold of my arm when the door squeaked open a little more. Maybe it was a gust of wind. Maybe it was something else. But now I could see inside. I watched Felix hand Mason a bag of something in exchange for an envelope. I was about to look away when I saw James wrap his arm around Felix’s shoulders with a laugh.
The exchange was so fast that I would have missed it if I blinked. But Felix definitely slipped a much smaller bag into James’ palm as they did some sort of weird handshake. James slid his hand into his back pocket and turned. I should have looked away. But I had never been able to look away from one of the Untouchables. James’ eyes locked with mine. And it wasn’t like that fancy party at the hotel when he’d smiled to be polite. Smiled to hide his sadness. Smiled because he was trained to. This time he didn’t smile at all. Instead, he lowered his eyebrows and his beautiful features turned into a scowl.
A brunette I didn’t recognize threw her arms around his torso and kissed his cheek. But his eyes didn’t leave mine.
I stepped away from the door, pulling Kennedy with me. “This place really is creepy,” I said. “Maybe we should just go.”
“But we just got here,” Felix said.
Kennedy and I both jumped. We hadn’t heard him come out of the room.
“Come on, it’ll be fun. I was kidding before. This place isn’t haunted. Really, you have nothing to worry about.” He slid his hand into mine and led us back down the stairs. Kennedy was still holding on to my arm and I was pretty sure it looked like we were huddled together like we were in a horror movie. And I swore to myself that I would not be the one that went off alone and got murdered in the haunted mansion.
We walked through the dark hallway for a few minutes, the music getting louder the farther we walked. Finally we made it to the ballroom and I breathed a sigh of relief. Even though the gothic design extended into the room, there was at least more light. And barely any smoke monsters. Just a few in the corners, and I could tell they were men because I could at least see their jeans under the puffs of smoke.
Felix led us over toward the bar and dropped my hand as he picked up one of the shots on the counter. “Here’s to a fun night.”
I didn’
t move to grab one of the shot glasses. “We promised my uncle we wouldn’t drink,” I said.
“I didn’t,” said Kennedy. ”And I’m so scared if I don’t drink I’m going to keep screaming all night.” She grabbed the shot out of Felix’s hand and downed it in one gulp. “Ow, it burns. But I’m going to feel so much better in a few minutes.”
“That’s the spirit,” Felix said. He looked back at me. “It’s just one drink.”
“I don’t know. Last time I drank I was kind of embarrassing.” And I threw up the next morning. And my uncle got so mad. And I molested Matt’s face.
“That was vodka mixed with all sorts of sugary shit. This is straight tequila. There’s a big difference. You’ll be fine.” He handed me one of the glasses.
I wasn’t sure if what he said was true. Wasn’t all alcohol just alcohol? I looked down at the clear liquid. But the glass was so small. How much harm could one little sip do?
“I won’t let anything bad happen to you, newb.”
I’d already let him down by kissing Matt. Even if he didn’t know it. I didn’t want to let him down anymore. And I believed him. He wouldn’t let anything bad happen to me. I tapped my glass against his and drank the whole thing like Kennedy had. “Ugh. That’s so disgusting. I’d rather have punch.”
Kennedy laughed. “The second one goes down easier.” She pulled three more shots to the edge of the bar.
I knew it was a bad idea. I knew it but I still found myself reaching out to grab one of the glasses. It burned just as badly the second time.
“You still owe me that dance,” Felix said to me.
“Let’s do it!” Kennedy pulled us both out into the middle of the room where everyone was dancing. She shimmied her hips in what could only be described as a perfect backup dancer routine. How had I not known she was a great dancer? I kinda just stood there awkwardly. I didn’t know how to dance. I looked at the people around us. Most of the girls were practically humping the guys on the dancefloor. And I definitely didn’t know how to dance like that. I moved my feet a bit but I just felt awkward. Although the music was good. I closed my eyes. Oh crap, my arms were doing that thing where they felt heavy again. Two tiny glasses of tequila couldn’t have been as bad as two glasses of punch. It wasn’t physically possible.