“Whether he does or not, before I sell, I need to go take a look at it. I’ll know what’s right once I see it again.”
“I’d love to see it, too,” she admitted, then she stopped herself. She couldn’t just invite herself along on Colt’s personal goodbye to a cherished spot. “Sorry. I’m not trying to intrude. I know that this one is personal for you—”
“Hey, it was important to Josh, too. So I can understand you wanting to come along.” Colt met her gaze. “I’m thinking of riding out tomorrow morning. It would only take about an hour. Do you ride?”
“Fairly well,” she said. “I’d go with you if we could bring the girls.”
He sobered at that, then fell silent. She was overstepping—she could feel it. She was used to adapting every part of her life to her girls, but that didn’t mean everyone else wanted to do the same.
“That’s too much to ask,” she said quickly. “Never mind. You go and do what you need to. There are some things that belonged between you and Josh.”
Colt was silent for a moment, then he asked, “Have they been on horseback before? A friend of mine used to take his son on trail rides when he was about two. He just put him in front of him on the saddle. I mean, do you think it would work?”
“You don’t have to bring us out there,” she said. “I’m serious.”
“Hey, if I’m going to sell it, you should see it once,” he countered. “You’re the only one who’d understand it...you know?”
And she did. It was his last connection to his cousin, and maybe even more than that. She’d clung to a few connections of her own, like her wedding rings that sat in a little mother-of-pearl box in the bottom of her suitcase.
“I’m sorry you have to sell because of me.”
“I don’t blame you,” he said, and she smiled ever so slightly. “I blame Beau.”
She wasn’t sure if he was joking or not, and she eyed him for a moment.
“Hey, I’m glad that you were left something,” he went on. “Josh would have wanted that, and obviously Beau did, too. It complicates things for me, but it’s not the end of the world.”
“But that land—” she started.
“New beginnings,” he said, cutting her off. “Things are going to change around here. There’s no getting around that. I’m not Beau, and those days are gone. Besides, sometimes the stuff we remember wasn’t quite so pristine as we thought.”
Fair enough. Nothing had been as pristine as Jane had hoped, either. Not marriage, not motherhood... Life was harder than anyone anticipated, and maybe it was for the best not to see it coming.
“Let’s ride out tomorrow,” he said. “I’ll borrow some toddler helmets, and we can pack a lunch.”
“You sure?” she asked.
“I wouldn’t turn down the company,” he said, his voice a low rumble. His dark gaze met hers, and she felt that intensity again—and her breath caught in her throat.
“Mama, cracker!” a little voice said, and Jane looked over to see her girls come into the kitchen, eyes bright and hair already tangled from play.
“I’d better go take a shower,” Colt said. “We leave for church in half an hour.”
As Colt headed toward the stairs that led down to his place, Jane watched him go. This inheritance was tearing apart some precious memories for this man, and she couldn’t help but feel bad for that. But maybe a ride out there would be healing in some small way.
For both of them. In very different ways, they both needed to lay Joshua Marshall to rest.
* * *
Colt’s mind was on that land as they drove along the gravel roads, small rocks whipping up and rattling against the side of the truck as he went. It was a fair offer, and it would help him out of a bind, but letting go of that land was going to mean lifting the lid on stuff he didn’t want to look at. He’d just buried his uncle—couldn’t that be enough for a while?
But Jane was here, the offer was on the table and he had to pay her somehow for those cattle. More debt wouldn’t be wise since he’d inherited this place with a pile of debt attached to it. But this was Sunday, and he normally tried not to think about the business pressures for one day a week. If possible.
Lord, what do I do? he silently prayed. I need You to show me the way.
The church was coming up on the left, and Colt slowed and signaled his turn. Venton Country Church was located along a back road, nestled between a stretch of trees and pasture. The town of Creekside had a church, too, but the cowboys tended to come out this way because the worship style was more bluegrass and country. They didn’t even have a regular pastor at the moment. A retired minister was volunteering his time for two weeks a month, and other than that they filled the service with some testimonies and rousing gospel music.
They were a little late. The parking lot was already full of pickup trucks and he could hear the familiar cords of some banjo music filtering out of the old church.
“This is it,” Colt said, then he glanced into the backseat where the toddlers were eating Cheerios out of little plastic tubs. “They have a Sunday school here during the sermon, I think. I’ve never done the kid thing before, so—”
“They’re a little young for Sunday school,” Jane said with a smile. “I just take them with me into the service and sit in the back, if that works for you.”
“Sure. Yeah.” That seemed simple enough. “Let’s do it.”
Getting the girls out of their car seats was simpler than he anticipated. Jane grabbed a cloth bag, tossed it over her shoulder and then lifted Micha down to the ground.
“Stay here,” Jane said firmly, then climbed into the truck to fetch Suzie.
Colt and Micha exchanged a solemn look. It seemed that Micha knew that tone in her mother’s voice and didn’t appear inclined to disobey. Jane emerged from the truck, Suzie in her arms.
“Ready,” she said, and Colt slammed shut the truck door.
When he’d asked her to come with him to church, it had been impulsive, just wanting a little more time with her. But now that he was looking at the toddlers, the bag over Jane’s shoulder and impish look in Micha’s eye, he had a fleeting feeling of misgiving. He was very likely in over his head.
Colt carried Micha in his arms, and Jane had Suzie. They made their way up the wooden steps, and he pulled open the front door, letting her go inside first. The music echoed through the foyer, and when he pushed open the swinging door to the sanctuary, there was an empty pew in the back. They slipped into the space and Jane dropped her bag to the seat beside them. Everyone was standing, singing along with a familiar song, so no one noticed their arrival.
When the song service was over, everyone sat down and Jane’s warm arm brushed against his. It felt comforting, close. It was only one week—it’s not like he was going to get used to this. Suzie squirmed on her mother’s lap, reaching forward for a hymnal just as Micha tossed a handful of Cheerios to the ground. He’d seen parents giving their kids snacks in church before, and now he thought he understood why. It might be a bit messy, but at least it kept those little hands busy. Jane leaned forward to pick the Cheerios up, her arm moving against Colt’s leg as she stretched to reach them. Jane straightened again, put the Cheerios into a tissue and wrapped them up.
“Enough, Micha,” Jane whispered. “No throwing. Be good.”
Micha started to squirm in Colt’s lap, so he scooted over and put her down on the seat between himself and Jane. Jane smiled, and then scooted further over, putting Suzie down on the bench next to her sister. Jane felt far away, and Colt slid his arm along the back of the pew just to be more comfortable. His finger came to rest against her shoulder and he froze. Was that too much?
Jane didn’t seem to notice his touch, so he didn’t move. She handed out more Cheerios to the girls and when Micha looked ready to throw one, Jane raised a finger and eyed her meaningfully. The little girl popped
the Cheerio in her mouth instead and smiled sweetly.
Colt couldn’t help but chuckle silently. This kid—she was a handful!
The sermon that Sunday was about the prodigal son—strangely appropriate. Except the Marshall prodigal son never had returned. If he hadn’t died, would he have come back eventually? Maybe Josh would have made it home before Beau died. Because knowing Jane like he did now, she seemed like the kind of woman Josh would have needed—strong, soft, convinced about what was right.
But Josh hadn’t lived, and she’d returned in his place.
Colt smelled something, and he looked over at Jane with a half smile. She grimaced, leaned down to sniff between the two girls and picked up Suzie.
“I have to change her,” Jane whispered. “Can you just watch Micha for me? I won’t be long.”
“Yeah, sure.” He said it before he’d even thought about it, and by the time he thought twice, Jane was already standing up and grabbing the cloth bag. She slipped past his knees, her pink dress catching on his jeans as she slid by. Micha looked after her mother, and her lip started to quiver.
“It’s okay,” Colt whispered. “Mommy’s coming back in a minute.”
Micha leaned forward, watching as Jane disappeared out the swinging doors that led into the church foyer, then she sighed and picked up her cup of Cheerios again. Maybe this wouldn’t be so bad, after all. He glanced instinctively toward the door where Jane had disappeared.
“Mommy,” Micha said, her voice rising. “Mommy?”
“Hey, it’s okay,” Colt whispered and he scooped her up and sat her onto his knee. “She’s coming right back, Micha. Okay? Watch that door. She’ll come right back.”
Micha looked toward the door, then squirmed hard enough that Colt just about dropped her. This little girl didn’t seem pleased about sitting here and waiting, but as long as he could keep her quiet he’d be fine. So he reached for the cup of Cheerios, but as he did, Micha squirmed once more, slipped from his grasp and her feet hit the ground running.
He’d never seen a kid move so fast in his life, but instead of heading for the doors where her mother had gone, Micha dashed up the aisle toward the pulpit. Colt’s heart dropped. His gaze whipped between the door where Jane had vanished and then up toward that curly head of red hair that was bobbing past the pews and he slipped out of his seat. Ducking low, he dashed after her.
There was a ripple of laughter through the church as Micha got to the front, tipped her head back and gaped up at the pastor. She stood with her little legs akimbo and a handful of Cheerios clutched in one hand.
“...as the prodigal son...” The old minister stopped and looked down at his new arrival. “...as the prodigal... Hello, miss.”
Colt arrived at that moment, and just before he could snatch her up, Micha zipped to the side and he was forced to jog after her, scooping her up a moment later. Micha let out a whoop of delight at this new, fun game, and Colt felt the heat of embarrassment blasting in his face. He stood there in front of the church, every single eye locked on him with this redheaded little girl perched in his arms. The fight seemed to have gone out of her, because instead of squirming and hollering like he expected, Micha took a single Cheerio between her fingers and pushed it between his lips.
“Num num,” Micha said quietly. “Wanna Cheerio?”
Colt tried to keep his lips closed, but Micha was persistent, working that single Cheerio between his lips with a determination that was impossible to beat, and he finally took the Cheerio and grudgingly gave it a chew.
“Yummy,” Micha whispered sweetly, seeming to approve.
“We’ve got a prodigal toddler there,” the pastor quipped, and the church laughed. “And like a good father, Colt was there to catch her before it was too late. God is a loving father, a good shepherd. He doesn’t just give us up. Can I get an ‘amen,’ church?”
“Amen!” they called out.
“You’re a good man, Colt,” the minister said with a low laugh. “Faster than a greased piglet at that age, aren’t they?”
“Sure are,” Colt said, heading back down the aisle and wishing he could just sink into the floorboards instead. The other parishioners looked over at him, smiles on their faces. The older men chuckled in good humor, and Colt felt a wave of goodwill from his church family that he’d never experienced before. It was camaraderie, community, support. Was this what other people felt like when they had a family? The church all knew he was single, but it was funny how stepping into the expected role could generate so much support for a guy. Where was that outpouring of support for the singles? They didn’t need it any less.
The door to the foyer opened and Jane appeared, her gaze landing on him with a look of surprise. She had Suzie on her hip, her hair flipped over the opposite shoulder. She was beautiful standing there, and his discomfort seeped away. He smiled sheepishly as he met her at the pew and they both slipped back into their spots.
“She took off on me,” Colt whispered. “I wasn’t quick enough.”
“She does do that,” Jane whispered back and she put Suzie down on the pew between them, then reached for Micha. “Were you being a stinker, Michal Ann?”
Micha looked at her mother innocently as Jane scooped the toddler into her lap, deftly clamping a hand down on Micha’s chubby leg to hold her still. So that was how it was done.
“I think you were,” Jane whispered, but there was a smile tickling the corners of her lips. “Be nice to him, Micha. He’s not used to this.”
Jane smiled and he felt that sense of camaraderie again. It felt good coming from her. It wasn’t about pleasing a group or fitting in... It was just a moment between the two of them. Of all the people in this church who had known him for years, Jane probably understood him best.
And that was dangerous ground.
Chapter Nine
The next morning dawned overcast and cool. It was a relief after all of the heat they’d had lately, and Jane bustled in the kitchen, wrapping up lunch fixings to carry with them on their horseback ride today. Jane wore a pair of jeans and a pink T-shirt, and glancing outside she had to wonder if she’d need the sweater she’d set aside. It was hard to tell.
“Some crackers, maybe?” Peg said, pulling down a box from a cupboard. “Oh, here is some cheese you could cut up. And some apples—”
Peg was dressed a little nicer than usual—slacks and a crisp green top. Her hair was held back with two barrettes, and more time than usual seemed to have gone into the styling of it.
Jane accepted the box of crackers and poured a few into a bag. But as she worked, her mind kept going back to her time in church yesterday, Colt next to her, the girls between them... It had been too comfortable, she realized now. Colt was easy to be around. She liked him too much. If she had less of a friendly connection with him, it might be easier...if he were a little less good-looking, too. But a tall, ruggedly handsome guy sitting next to her as the girls played quietly, a guy she wanted to open up to who felt comfortable telling her about his tough stuff as well—it reminded her of the masculine support she’d been missing these last few years. It was that very support that she didn’t want to get used to.
And she was about to go on a morning ride with the man... But she was looking forward to more than his company. She hadn’t been on a horse in years, and she’d been missing riding a lot lately. It would be wonderful to be on horseback again.
“Should I just slice up a few apples for you?” Peg asked.
“Thanks, that would be great,” Jane said with a distracted smile.
“You okay?” Peg asked.
“I’m just chronically tired.” She shot the older woman a grin. “So what will you do while we’re away?”
“I thought I’d help down in the canteen,” Peg replied, then she turned quickly and walked toward the fridge.
“Oh, yeah?” Jane tried to smother a smile. “I heard th
e new cook is a nice guy.”
“Very nice. I handpicked him. I’m sure he could use some help, though. And since you’ll all be gone, I thought—” Peg put some apples on the counter, and her gaze flickered in Jane’s direction irritably. “Why should it matter what I do?”
“It doesn’t,” Jane said quickly. “I’m sure he’ll appreciate the help.”
Peg didn’t say anything else, but the knife hit the cutting board a little harder than it needed to with every chop, and Jane tried not to smile. Maybe Colt had been right about his aunt’s interest in the new cook. And what should it matter? Just because Jane and Colt were avoiding marriage didn’t mean that Peg had to.
The side door opened, and Colt appeared carrying two little riding helmets.
“Safety first,” he said, kicking the door shut behind him.
The girls, seated at the table with scrambled eggs in front of them, perked up at the sight of Colt. They seemed to sense that they were going to have an interesting day, because the minute they saw the helmets, they forgot about their breakfast and wanted to go investigate.
“No, you need to eat,” Jane said, catching Suzie as she slid down from her chair. “Come back. Breakfast first.”
“Sorry,” Colt said, and as Micha came around the table, he caught her with one muscular arm and dropped her back into her seat. “Listen to your mommy. She’s the boss.”
Micha stared at him for a moment, then made a move to get down again.
“Hey.” Colt grew serious, and Micha froze. “Mommy’s the boss. Look. I’m going to sit down, too. We’ve got to do what she says. There’s no other way.”
He sank into the seat opposite them, and Micha looked properly impressed and didn’t make any other move to escape.
Jane shot Colt a grin. “Thank you.”
“Just stating facts.” But a smile tickled the corners of his lips.
The girls finally ate the last of their eggs—one of their favorite breakfasts—and they were ready to go. Jane grabbed the two plastic grocery bags filled with lunch fixings and the necessities she’d need for a few hours out with the girls—sippy cups of juice, diapers, wipes, a couple of blankets. A mom never knew how much of what she brought would be needed.
Her Twins' Cowboy Dad (Montana Twins Book 2) Page 11