She didn’t argue with him about how everyone on earth had the same success rate he did, right up until they didn’t. Because it was too nice to hear him say that. Too encouraging. And it made her warm all the way through. Banished that ice-cold fear. And for now she was going to let it, because it was so much better than being afraid.
They entered the town and her tension rose, metallic fear flooding her mouth, like her internal thermometer had broken, poisoning her with a wave of mercury. Or possibly she was being overdramatic. Hard to tell, what with the fact that she was panicking.
He pulled into the lot of the diner and she saw a group of men standing in the parking lot, and Alison on the fringes, wringing her hands.
“Stay in the car,” Eli said.
“But Alison—”
“Stay. In. The. Car,” he repeated, his words terse as he got out, his hand resting on the top of his gun.
* * *
ELI SURVEYED THE CROWD, assessing exactly what was happening. It was what he suspected—a late-morning drunken dispute, which was something that shouldn’t happen, but did—and he doubted anyone’s life was in danger today.
But then, those kinds of thoughts got people killed, and he well knew it, which meant his hand was staying on his gun. He didn’t want to come in looking like a threat, but he wasn’t going to be passive, either.
He knew these guys. Loggers mainly, and unsurprisingly, at the center, Alison’s husband, Jared. He was the drunk one from the looks of things, and the one causing trouble.
“What’s going on here?” he asked, walking over to the knot of men.
“Jared being an asshole,” said Randy, a middle-aged man with a long beard and a tobacco habit that had taken a toll on his teeth.
“Typical day, then,” Mark, a fisherman, added.
“I’m just defending what’s mine,” Jared growled, his expression mutinous and unfocused.
“Jared...” Alison said.
“Shut up. Shut the fuck up,” Jared spat in his wife’s direction. “I wouldn’t have to be down here if you weren’t acting like a slut. So shut your whore mouth.”
Eli let out a long slow breath. Because otherwise he would be tempted to get violent. And that wasn’t what he was here for. But the temptation to move in and shut Jared’s mouth with his fist was a lot stronger than he’d expected.
“There’s no need to talk like that,” he said, his tone hard.
“Free speech, Deputy,” he said.
“We could take a vote on whether or not we like your kind of speech,” Bud, not the one from the gas station, said. “I, for one, would cast my vote with my fist.”
“That’s enough,” Eli said. “Is anyone hurt?”
He looked around the group. There was no blood or visible bruising. But there was no way he could say there was no harm done. Alison was ashen. Terrified. And it churned his gut.
“Is anyone wanting to press charges?” he asked.
“Nah,” Mark said. “No one got hurt.”
Dammit.
He could escort Jared home, but that was about it. State laws regarding public drunkenness were essentially nonexistent. A public health concern, not a misdemeanor. And given that no punches had been thrown, he was back at sending Jared back to his house, where Alison would be later. And that gave him no small amount of concern.
“Jared, I’m going to make sure you get home okay.”
“No, thank you, Deputy,” he spat.
“Oh, well, see, that’s not your choice. Get in on your own, or get in in handcuffs.” He turned back to his car and opened the passenger door. “Out, Sadie, I have to make a delivery, and I’d rather you weren’t with me.”
She looked at him with big worried eyes and it made something in his chest twist. She’d been afraid on the way to this call, and he’d dismissed it as normal, civilian fear, but right now he had a feeling it was something different.
Especially when she got out of the car without argument and headed to the side, not approaching the crowd.
“Stay here and eat pie, I’ll be back for you,” he said.
“I... I could walk to my car.”
“Wait for me,” he said. “You’ll be fine.”
He looked pointedly at Jared, who chose that moment to obey him. “Backseat,” Eli said, then he walked over to Alison. “Call me,” he said. “Call someone if he gives you any trouble, do you understand me?”
She shook her head. “He doesn’t.”
“You’re lying to me,” Eli said, his voice low and soft.
“I’m not.” She met his gaze, her brown eyes defiant.
And he wanted to punch something again. A wall. Jared’s face. Why did she protect him? Why did they always protect them?
“Well, even so...” He reached into his jacket and took out his card. “Call me.”
He walked back to the patrol car, back to his drunken, asshole backseat tenant. He would drive Jared home. The guy would sober up for a while. And the cycle would go on and on.
He knew it would. It was what he saw in a town this size, over and over.
Times like this he could understand why Sadie didn’t stay.
CHAPTER TWELVE
SADIE SAT IN the booth, a cup of coffee and a piece of pie in front of her. The fishermen were back in their corner booth, and Alison was pacing behind the counter.
She took a bite of the lemon meringue. “It really is good pie,” she said, loud enough for Alison to hear.
Alison tried to smile. “Thank you.”
“Could I get more coffee?” She didn’t need more coffee, but she needed Alison to come to where she was sitting, and to stop hiding.
So yeah, this wasn’t her favorite thing, but obviously she wasn’t avoiding Alison, or the facts about Alison’s life today. Fate had handily intervened even when she was trying to jump ship.
She felt a little like Jonah. Thrown overboard, swallowed by a giant fish and vomited into the diner, the very diner she’d been avoiding. Yes, it was an analogy of Biblical proportions, but appropriate, she felt.
Alison walked across the diner and looked into Sadie’s full cup.
“Just kidding. I lied. Sit down.”
“I’m working,” Alison said.
“Yeah, and I’m eating pie. Sit.”
Alison did, her hands folded tightly in her lap, the carafe placed in front of her on the table.
“So, hi,” Sadie said. “It’s been a while. Or since last week. But you know.”
“Yeah,” Alison said.
“I feel... I feel like I should apologize.”
Alison looked startled by that.
“For dropping off the earth after high school. For never calling. For never coming back. Because we were a team, in some ways. We laughed together, and I don’t think we laughed very much when we were apart. You spent all those years sticking by me. All of you did. Josh Grayson was my first kiss. Hell, my first...everything. And I just left you all. Without looking back. I had to leave... I had to. But I should have thought of you.”
“Sadie...we never knew what happened to you really. Your mom just said you’d run off. And...”
“You believed her because I used to say I would,” Sadie finished. “And I did run off. It’s true. I mean, I ran off to college. And a career and things. It’s not like I was pole dancing, not that there’s anything wrong with that. It’s just...the long and the short of it is, I ran.”
“We missed you,” Alison said.
She looked so tired and sad. A sharp contrast to the Alison whom Sadie remembered. A girl in black clothes, with a fierce light of determination in her eyes.
A girl who’d looked ready to fight.
The fight was gone from her now. Drained out of her slowly over the years. Years when Sadie had been gone.
But if Sadie had stayed...the same thing might have happened to her. She and Alison had started out in the same place. A couple of teenage girls who’d never had innocence. Who’d always seen the hard, ugly side of life. Neithe
r of them had illusions about love.
And still Alison had ended up with that man. Sadie was very aware that it could very well have been her sitting there, sad-eyed and defeated.
Sadie sucked in a sharp breath, feeling like something had cracked in her chest. “I... I didn’t expect to be missed.”
“I don’t think any of us would have,” Alison said.
“That’s a problem,” Sadie said. “It’s not...healthy, that’s for sure. So... Josh left?”
“Yeah, he’s doing business somewhere. Washington first, and I haven’t heard anything about him in a while.”
“Hmm.” Sadie allowed herself a brief, nice memory of him. He’d been hot, at least in her teenage estimation. But the memory of him didn’t make her shiver or anything. Not like Eli.
“You stayed,” she said, turning her focus back to Alison.
“I thought about leaving, but my mom’s health wasn’t good. Then right after she died, I met Jared.”
“Ah, yes,” Sadie said, the ache in her chest inverting, splintering and sinking down to her stomach. “I believe I met him today.”
Alison cleared her throat and looked determinedly at the carafe. “I know it looks bad.”
“It is bad,” Sadie said. “Don’t BS me. I’m a therapist by trade, when I’m not renovating bed-and-breakfasts. I see women who have come out of abusive relationships all the time. I see men who are afraid they might be abusers. And more than that, I lived with a man who solved problems with violence for my entire childhood. So, I repeat, do not BS me. I am the wrong person to try that on.”
“He’s not that bad.”
“We can skip that part. We can skip the part where you tell me why you make him do it. And he’s a good guy. And his past was hard. Because I’ve heard it. Just...five months ago maybe, I saw a woman who was in the hospital. Recovering from the wounds her husband had inflicted on her. I’ve seen where it ends, Alison. Unless you make the decision to leave.”
Alison grabbed the napkin to her left and started twisting it, her hands shaking.
“I’m not talking to you as a therapist,” Sadie said. “I’m talking to you as an old friend. As someone who knew you before him. You’re not the only one. And you don’t have to be embarrassed.”
“I don’t have to be embarrassed?” Alison asked. “I think I do, actually. Because...because I think you have to be pretty stupid to get pulled into something like this.”
“That’s not true,” she said. “It’s not. It doesn’t matter how smart you are. It’s not your brain making these decisions. It’s your emotions. It’s the things he’s done to you. The things he’s told you. The stuff he’s twisted all up so slowly over the years you barely realized what was happening.”
The other woman shook her head. “It’s too late for me,” she said. “I don’t have anyone else. I don’t have anything else. Just this job. And that man.”
“Then get more,” Sadie said, frustration burning through her. “Want more.”
Alison stood up. “I don’t remember how. Coffee and pie are on me. Thank you,” she said. “Just...thank you.”
Alison turned, slight shoulders hunched, and walked back to the counter, just as Eli walked through the door.
Sadie stood, not having any of the appetite to finish her pie, even if it was free pie, and walked toward him, shepherding him back out the door before he could ask why.
“Did you get him home?” she asked, barely meeting Eli’s eyes when they were out in the parking lot.
“Yeah,” Eli said. “Do you see what it’s like?”
“He deserved to be hit. He deserved to have his head shoved into the pavement.”
“Yeah, and I can’t do that, Sadie. The minute I act like I can, I’m not a whole lot better than he is. Because I have authority and I have to be careful never to abuse that. But I might have let Mark and the other guys off with a warning if they would have done it. Or if someone would have...said anything.”
“Given you a reason to arrest him,” she said.
“That’s the problem with situations like this,” Eli said, putting his hands on his lean hips and looking back toward the diner. “She’s an adult. I can’t drag her out of that house any more than I can put handcuffs on him for something I suspect but have never seen.” He turned and hit the top of his patrol car with his open palm, a rough growl escaping his lips. “Sometimes the more power you have the less powerful you feel.”
“She won’t... I tried to talk to her,” Sadie said. “But...”
“I know.” He took a deep breath. “Listen, I’m on for a while longer. I’ll take you to your car.”
“Okay. We’ll see each other tonight?”
He nodded slowly. “Yeah. I think I need to.”
* * *
SHE WASN’T LESS nervous than she’d been the night before. If anything, she was more nervous. Because now she knew for a fact the intensity between Eli and herself wasn’t a fluke.
Because she was kind of going all in tonight, knowing full well what she was getting herself into. It was a dangerous game and she liked it. That surprised her more than anything.
But today had been beyond upsetting and she was looking forward to something just as strong to help take away some of the unsettled feelings that remained.
At least for a while.
You can’t fix things for people when they don’t want them fixed.
She’d reminded herself of that countless times over the years. Every time she hadn’t called her mother. Checked in on her to see if her father was still ruling the house with a fist of iron. Because she’d tried to help. And her mother had chosen to stay. Her mother had chosen the man who’d put her daughter in the hospital. So Sadie had accepted that she couldn’t change things for her mom and had set about changing them for herself.
She was going to have to let this go, too. Even though it sucked. It was a lot harder when you couldn’t physically let it go by driving into another city and never looking back.
“Bah.” She stalked into the kitchen and hauled herself up onto the counter, her knees planted firmly on the granite surface as she rummaged through one of the cabinets for a bottle of wine. Probably she would have to get a real fancy-ass wine rack for when guests were here. Luckily, she had a little time.
She took two glasses down, along with the wine, because in all honesty, Eli probably needed a drink, too.
She wondered if he would get more relaxed if he had a glass or two. If she could get him to smile. If his lips would taste like merlot and sin and the smile that was the rarest thing she could think of.
She licked her own lips in anticipation and carried the objects she now considered her fantasy aids into the living room.
She was still in the same clothes she’d been wearing earlier—sad for Eli, no matching bra and panties for him today. But after the incident at the diner, she’d thrown herself into B and B things, including looking at website proofs, which were fan-freaking-tastic, and choosing the stain for her deck, which was very nearly done because a whole team of burly men could handle decks like no one’s business.
She hummed as she set the glasses on the old-fashioned captain’s trunk she was using for a coffee table and sat on the couch, her feet tucked up under her.
And for one heart-crinkling moment she really wanted Eli to just come and sit next to her. To release his stress while she let go of hers. To share in a calm moment.
She blinked. No. That wasn’t what this was about. It wasn’t supposed to be about sharing emotions. It was supposed to be about sharing nakedness and orgasms.
The heavy knock on her front door saved her from her thoughts. “It’s open!” she shouted.
She heard the door open, then close, the heavy shoes on the wood floor, and finally Eli appeared in the living room entryway.
“Hiya,” she said, surveying his tall, lean frame. He’d changed. Dark jeans conforming to muscular thighs, a tight black T-shirt giving hints of all the fun that lay beneath the fabric.
“Hi,” he said.
“You can come in,” she said, patting the empty spot beside her.
“Right.” He cast a long look at a sleeping Toby, who was in the chair he’d claimed as his own, before walking across the room and joining her on the couch, keeping a healthy distance between them.
“Wine?” she asked.
“I don’t really care for it.”
Well, dammit. There went her merlot-flavored fantasy. She’d just drink enough for both of them. “Well, I hope you don’t mind if I drink,” she said, tugging the already-popped cork out. She poured herself a generous amount, then picked the glass up and clinked the edge against the empty one still sitting on the trunk. “Cheers to me, then.” She took a sip and sat back, feeling distinctly broody now. Because she’d gotten a picture in her head that shouldn’t have been there, and now she was disappointed for him not conforming to said ill-advised picture.
“Are you mad at me now?” he asked.
She looked up over her glass and at him, at serious brown eyes that made her stomach do tricks. “A little.”
“Why?” he asked, the corners of his mouth turning up.
There was her smile. A small one, but she’d gotten it. “Because you were supposed to drink wine and be cozy with me.”
“That doesn’t sound like what we agreed on,” he said, his tone gentle. Why was he being so nice? She was trying to be peeved.
“No, I know it doesn’t. But I was sort of hoping for it. Because I am a fickle and difficult creature.”
“Yeah, you are.”
“You weren’t supposed to agree so readily.”
“Sadie,” he said, his dark eyes burning hotter now. He reached out and gently touched her glass, lowering it. “You know what this is.”
“I know,” she said. “You don’t need to worry about me.”
“Then why are you angry?”
“Because,” she said, setting her wineglass down on the trunk and standing, moving over to where Eli sat and standing in front of him, “I had a little fantasy.”
“Did you?” he asked, his focus sharpening.
“Mmm-hmm.” She put her knee on the couch, next to his thigh, and then the other one, straddling his lap. “It had to do with getting you to relax a little.”
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