by B. B. Hamel
I claimed her that night in the trailer. I showed her my past, where I was from, a place so dear to me that I’d never shown another human before, not even my cousin. Cora was the first person aside from myself to step in there ever since I took control, and that meant something.
Whether she wanted me or not, I didn’t care. I’d worship her, pine for her, need her for as long as I drew breath. I was connected to her, drawn and bound in iron and lust, and nothing would break me away.
“I hate that you’re doing this alone. Can you let me help at least?”
“There’s nothing to help. It’s set in motion, and now we have to wait.”
She nodded and looked at her shoes. “I never meant for you to save me, you know.”
“I know that.”
“When I thought about what came after, there was only… nothing. I couldn’t picture life anymore.” She looked up and met my eyes. “I can picture it now and I don’t want to go to jail.”
I kissed her deeper this time. She lingered against my mouth, breathing hard and gorgeous, her taste flooding my tongue and lips. She was the river and I was the stones over which she flowed, and I’d stay steady for her as long as she needed me.
Forever, if I had my way.
I broke off the kiss and slowly stood up. She gazed up at me and it took all my strength to step away.
“Keep your phone on you. I’ll call soon.”
“I’m waiting.”
I turned and left her there.
I wanted to linger for the rest of the day luxuriating in her, but I had work to do.
I went to class. I paid attention (for once). I worked hard at practice. And when I got back home, I knocked on Robyn’s bedroom door, then stepped inside and shut it behind me.
She leaned back in her desk chair and spun a pen around her thumb.
“You know, I’ve heard some pretty insane rumors about you lately. Are you selling drugs?”
“Meth. Some crack.”
“Nice. You’ve been holding out on me. You know I love meth.”
I smiled and sat on her bed. “We need to talk.”
“Is this about Cora?”
“Actually, it’s not. It’s about your dad.”
She went still. The pen clattered to the floor. Silence descended and I held her gaze.
My poor cousin. She never deserved any of this.
“What about him?”
“If I could make him disappear, would you want that?” I said the words carefully, not sure how she’d take them, but I didn’t have time to mess around and feel her out.
Her face turned pale.
“You did it, didn’t you? You killed Dr. Silver.”
“I’m talking about your dad now. Would you be upset if he went away?”
“I don’t want you to kill him, if that’s what you’re asking.”
I shook my head slowly. “That’s not what I mean. Would you be angry if he went to jail for what he’s put you through? For the years of abuse? All the scars you have on your back?”
She grimaced and looked away. She thought I didn’t know about the scars—but I noticed them early on.
Before I came around, her father was much worse. When we were children, he had a thing for belts.
“I’m not talking to the police.”
“You don’t have to. Would you be upset if he paid for what he did?”
Her face twisted. “Why the hell are you doing this?” Tears sprang into her eyes. “Isn’t hurting me enough?”
I didn’t reach out to comfort her. Robyn seemed weak to everyone else, but I knew my cousin was made of iron. She had to be if she wanted to survive her father.
“You haven’t answered yet.”
“I’m sick of this shit.” She stood, shoving the chair back, and paced across the room. “You can’t just make the past go away, Jarrod. You can’t change it.”
“No, I can’t, but I can get justice.”
“Justice.” She laughed sharply. “Justice doesn’t give me a childhood. It doesn’t fix my disgusting back.”
“But it punishes the people that did those things to you.” I held her gaze, unwilling to back down. “Do you want him to hurt for what he did?”
She glared back at me, breathing through her nose like a frightened horse, before turning her back. She took a few moments to calm down, then drifted back to her chair and slumped down.
“I don’t know what you’re planning, but I won’t stop you.”
“Come on, Robyn. Have a spine for once.”
She looked up at the ceiling then squeezed her eyes shut. “I won’t stop you. And I won’t tell anyone. Isn’t that enough?”
I watched her carefully. Poor, abused, broken Robyn. She was so, so good at putting on a happy face in public. Bubbly, joyous, cute Robyn. Nobody understood the hell she’d been through and just how deeply and irrevocably broken she was.
Even still, after all that, she couldn’t bring herself to condemn the man that ruined her life, all because he was her father.
“All right then,” I said gently and stood. “I hope you know that I hate myself for treating you like shit in public. I never should’ve done it. You didn’t deserve my anger.”
“No, I didn’t, but we both know why you did it.”
I smiled and turned away. Yeah, we both knew, and that bastard would pay.
I left my cousin. Calvin would have her soon—whatever that meant. I wasn’t a good person, but at least I cared about making the worst of the worst suffer for their crimes.
28
Cora
The call came a week after we had that conversation on the bench.
It was a week of hell. Whispering, accusations, some minor bullying. Robyn stuck with me through it all, though Jarrod remained elusive. I began to wonder if it was all bullshit, if he didn’t actually have a plan—and never did.
Until that Sunday, the day after the football team won their last game of the season, I got a text.
Jarrod: I’m coming to get you. It’s happening.
I didn’t know what he meant, but I felt a sudden surge of adrenaline. Whatever he’d planned—this was the moment.
I quickly changed and met him out front. My parents didn’t say anything. Ever since the detective stopped by and confirmed all their worst fears, they stopped treating me like an unreliable child.
Jarrod pulled over and gave me his characteristic grin as I climbed into the truck.
“Hello, stranger,” he said, and leaned over to kiss me.
I launched myself at him like a maniac.
I couldn’t help myself. A week away had been too long. I spent every night dreaming about his touch and thinking about our time together in the trailer, dissecting each and every moment, and the more I thought about it, the more I saw the way he looked at me, like I was some sort of promise fulfilled.
He was a monster and a demon, but he was my monster, my demon.
My killer.
“I take it you missed me too,” he said softly, running his fingers through my hair.
I grinned at him and bit his lip hard. “Don’t make me regret being nice to you. I’m not contractually bound to give you what you want anymore.”
“And yet I have a feeling you’ll do it anyway,” he said, pulling my hair hard.
I gasped, grinning, and laughed.
He put the truck into gear and pulled out. We drove back to his house, and he refused to explain what was happening on the way. As we got closer, flashing lights made me lean forward and squint in surprise.
Police cruisers were parked out front of Robyn’s house. She stood in the street with a big jacket on, her arms wrapped around herself. She looked over as Jarrod parked a few houses down.
“What’s going on?” I asked him.
“You’ll see.”
I hopped out and went to Robyn. She wasn’t crying, but she looked pale and lost. She turned to me and cocked her head.
“They’re taking him away.”
“Taking
who away?” I looked back at Jarrod then to Robyn. “What’s happening?”
“The police showed up ten minutes ago. They barged inside and started yelling about a search warrant. They handcuffed my dad and put him in the back of a police car.”
My eyes went wide and I stared at the house.
Uniformed officers came and went. Some carried objects—a laptop, a stack of files, some picture albums—and others simply looked like they were keeping themselves busy. Robyn’s mom stood near a car, tears streaming down her face, and I could just barely make out the silhouette of a man sitting in the back.
Her father. Jarrod’s uncle.
Jarrod stood next to me and put an arm across my shoulders. We watched in silence as the cops went through their house, carrying out more tagged and bagged objects, stacking the stuff in the back of a van.
Detective Bates came out about a half hour into the search. She wore blue gloves and scowled around at everyone—neighbors had gathered nearby to watch—before her gaze landed on me and Jarrod.
She came over, looking absolutely livid.
I tensed, but Jarrod hugged me tighter. It was protective, like he wanted to shield me from the detective’s fury.
But there wasn’t much he could do about that.
“You two did something.” Detective Bates stood with her hands on her hips and glared bloody death at Jarrod and me. “I don’t know what and I don’t know how, but you did something.”
“I’m not sure what you mean, Detective,” Jarrod said, sounding almost surprised. “We’re as shocked as you are.”
She snorted and looked at Robyn. “You gonna stand there and let these two pin that crime on your daddy? You really think he had anything to do with Dr. Silver’s death?”
Robyn looked at Jarrod. He gazed back.
She shook her head.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Robyn said. “If my father needs a lawyer, I can get one for him.”
Detective Bates let out a disgusted noise. She ignored Robyn then, turning her attention back to Jarrod.
“The leash was a good trick. I don’t know how you planted it, but that was good. The paper trail was even better. Masterful, actually. When I ask your uncle about his connection to Dr. Silver, is he going to deny everything?”
“Most likely, but can you really trust a murderer?” Jarrod’s grin was boyish and charming and I almost laughed.
What a monster. What a gorgeous, perfect monster.
“I’m not done with you,” Detective Bates said. “You made a mistake somewhere. When I find it—”
“You should stop obsessing over us,” I said suddenly, unable to stop myself. “You found your killer. It’s a little unprofessional for you to fixate on Jarrod.”
She glanced at me and made a disgusted face. “You I can understand, but he’s not a victim. You change your mind about doing the right thing?” I said nothing. Detective Bates snorted. “Thought so. Better hope your boyfriend did a good job, or else I’ll be seeing you again shortly.” She nodded at me, glared at Jarrod, then walked back the swarm of cops.
We fell into silence. Jarrod smiled after the detective then hugged me tighter against him.
“That was awkward,” he said.
Robyn laughed. It was giddy and stupid, but it made me laugh, and soon all three of us were cracking up. People stared in openmouthed horror, but it felt so good to laugh, so damn good, especially since I thought I was never going to see the outside world again, and yet somehow Jarrod managed to make this happen.
“I forgot about the leash,” I said to him, kissing his neck while standing on my toes.
Robyn groaned. “I don’t want to hear this. I’m gonna go talk to Mom and pretend like I don’t know anything.”
“That’s for the best,” Jarrod said. Robyn walked away, still smiling. He looked down at me and kissed my cheek. “It was a rough night. I think you can be forgiven for overlooking some things.”
“She said you left a paper trail.”
“Uncle Bernard needed motive, so I gave him some. He and Dr. Silver were working together, and Dr. Silver owed him money.”
“Where’d you plant the leash?”
“In his office at work. I figured that made more sense than leaving it at home. Less obvious.” He frowned a little, watching the detective work. “There are other clues but she hasn’t found them yet.”
“Like what?”
“Ah, come on. You really want to know and ruin the surprise?”
“You’re insane. You’re truly insane.”
“Oh, I know it.” He pulled me against him and hugged me, then kissed my lips gently. “When this is over, are you still going to want me?”
“Of course I am.”
“I know you’re charmed. I know you lust. But do you want more?”
I tilted my chin toward him. “I think I do.”
“I fell hard for you Cora. That night you asked me to kill Dr. Silver was the first night I realized you might be good for me. And now I see that you make me a better man. I love you, always will. Can’t help myself anymore.”
I blinked back tears. What a stupid thing to do—cry while that detective was watching.
I stood on my toes and kissed him. “I love you too.”
He grinned and gestured toward the truck. “We should go. I don’t think I can stay here much longer and watch this.”
“Where are you taking me?”
“How about the quarry?”
I scowled and shook my head. “Too cold for that. Plus, I’m afraid you’ll shove me over the edge.” Which was mostly true.
“Then my trailer. It’ll be nice and warm inside, at least once I start warming the place up.”
“Are you trying to get in my pants again?”
“I’m trying to strip you naked and fuck you raw and deep until your knees shake with ecstasy.”
“Well then, in that case, lead the way.” I kissed him one more time before he took my hand. We got back into his truck and he turned around while half the neighborhood watched.
I don’t fully understand how he did it. Planting the leash was one thing, but creating a false business connection? That was next level. It was evil genius level. And yet it didn’t surprise me.
If anyone could make it happen, it was Jarrod.
He drove away and I leaned against his shoulder, smiling like an idiot.
29
Cora
One Month Later
The whole house creaked when Jarrod came home. He smelled like a workout: sweat and leather and dirt.
“There you are.” I turned from the tiny stove and kissed his cheek but wriggled away when he tried to pull me down onto the couch.
“Not right now,” I said, shoving him away, but tumbling into his lap anyway. I laughed and kissed him, then wriggled from his arms. “Robyn’s coming over so we don’t have time.”
He sighed and leaned his head back. “Robyn. My cousin. I hoped she would stop ruining my life after I got her father arrested.”
“Weird sentence, but okay.” I tried not to smile at him as I finished making popcorn the old-fashioned way. It burst into tiny fluffy nuggets beneath the lid and made the whole pot jostle. As it slowed and stopped, I killed the heat and dumped it into a big bowl. “She’s been struggling lately. She says the house has been empty ever since you and her dad moved out.”
“Moved out isn’t exactly accurate. I moved here. He got tossed in prison without bail for murdering a guy.”
“Allegedly murdering a guy. And anyway, she’s coming over, so be nice.”
“I’m always nice.” He stood up and kissed my neck. “You sure we don’t have time?”
I turned and kissed him. “I’m sure.”
“I guess I’ll shower then.”
I grabbed his hand before he could leave. “Later.”
“I know.” He kissed me again, lingering for another second, then walked into the back of the trailer to get changed and clean up.
; I sighed and slumped onto the couch. The TV was a tiny flat screen thing, but at least our satellite connection wasn’t terrible. I stretched out my legs and munched on some popcorn as the shower water turned on and the bathroom door slammed shut.
Robyn’s dad was deemed a flight risk. Apparently, he talked about a house overseas with Robyn’s mom and mentioned killing Jarrod for revenge before escaping there. The judge used that against him and denied his bail, and I suspect Jarrod had a hand in making that happen, although he wouldn’t say one way or the other. The man loved me, but he could be maddening still.
Campus was awash in rumors and misinformation, but at least I had Jarrod and winter break to get me through it. Football season came to a close and he had a lot more time on his hands, which meant he devoted all of his attention to me and his friends—though mostly me. After about a week of seeing each other, we decided to move into the trailer together, and each day was a heady rush of self-discovery and very, very incredible sex.
There was a knock at the door then Robyn came into the room. “Hey, girl,” she said, putting on her best smile, but I could see right through it.
She was suffering.
“Hey, yourself.” I held up the bowl. “Popcorn.”
“Perfect.” She collapsed next to me and snuggled close. “Mom’s watching Lifetime and crying again. I can’t stand that house anymore.”
“I’d offer you the spare room, but—”
“But I don’t really want to live with you and Jarrod, no offense.” She grinned and leaned her head on my shoulder. “How is shacking up with my cousin in sin, by the way?”
“Sin’s a good way of putting it.”
“Gross. I don’t want details.”
“Just saying. It’s been good though. This place is small, but it works for us. It’s nice to have a little freedom.”
“Your parents weren’t happy though.”
“Dad was pissed. Mom was sympathetic. Sam was happy for me. I guess it worked out.”
She got all quiet. She did that a lot lately. Losing her dad to prison was good and bad, and she struggled with that split every day. I could tell she wanted her father to be punished for putting her through hell—Jarrod told me some of it and Robyn filled me in on the rest—but she felt bad that he was being put away for something he didn’t do.