by R. G. Angel
“Neat!” She clapped her hands. “Let’s go to my place, I’ll drive you home afterwards, I promise.”
I looked around uncomfortably, I didn’t need to get into more trouble with my father than I already was. At the same time, he never said I couldn’t go to Taylor’s house and how would he know, anyway?
I nodded. “Sure, why not – I could use a break from my paper.”
“Cool, I can’t wait for you to meet my brothers and my family in a context other than stuffy parties.”
I laughed, as always so grateful to have her in my life.
“How long is your class going to be?”
She shrugged, “About 30 minutes – give or take.”
I nodded. It might not give Theo and I much time to battle, but at least I’d be keeping my promise. “Okay, I’ll go for a walk, meet in front of Armory Park?”
She checked her watch. “Okay, I’ll honk twice.”
I grinned. “Classy.”
She returned my grin with one of her own. “I know, boo.”
I chuckled as I rushed out of school trying to navigate the sea of students rushing to their own classes.
I was breathless when I reached the stone steps leading into the park. Six minutes! My personal best.
“Me-Me!” I heard Theo shout excitedly before I could see him.
I looked around and saw Mike wave at me from his spot on the bench and then pointed to the big sycamore under which Theo was grinning at me, sitting cross-legged on the blanket.
“I set up your team,” he said as I joined him and saw all his figurines were divided into two groups.
“Ah, it’s good you did that,” I said. “I won’t be able to stay long today, my friend is coming to take me home,” I offered, more for Mike’s benefit than his.
He nodded, looking down at his figurines and rearranging them.
“It’s fine, Esme, Theo understands obligations, you can go if you need to,” Mike offered, not unkindly.
I shook my head. “Nope, a promise is a promise and maybe today is the day I’ll win.”
Theo looked up with the wide smile I’d come to love. “Me-Me can win,” he said, pointing to my figurines.
“You gave me Iron Man?” I looked at him with incredulity. “But he is your favorite!”
Theo adjusted his cap and grabbed his Captain America. “Sharing’s love and I love Me-Me.”
A lump formed in my throat as I tightened my hand around the figurine, holding it against my heart. “Oh Theo,” I kneeled and leaned down, giving him a hug. “I love you too!”
We played for fifteen minutes before I heard Taylor’s honking. I looked down at my figurines – I was left with the upper hand.
“I won?” I blinked with incredulity as he dropped his Spiderman.
Theo removed his hat and stood up. “Me-Me won.”
I jumped up, letting out a little cry of triumph which made both Mike and Theo laugh. I started shaking my butt in a Chandler Bing victory dance.
“Me-Me’s funny!” Theo chuckled, mimicking my moves.
The car honked again, I turned toward the entrance, somehow I didn’t want Taylor to interrupt my moment, Theo and Mike were not part of this world. Theo was kindness and sunshine, I didn’t want to share him yet, I needed this too much.
“I have to go,” I pointed behind me. “See you next week.”
Theo patted my head. “You play good Me-Me, next week, I win.”
I laughed. “You can try. Bye, my friend.” I looked at Mike. “See you next week, BB.”
Mike nodded and I made it to the gate just as Tay exited her car.
“I thought I had to send search and rescue.” She gestured me toward the passenger side as she sat back on her side.
I rolled my eyes. “Sorry, I got lost in my own thoughts.”
She looked toward the park thoughtfully before looking at me again. “You look… better, happier.”
I smiled. “I am.” This was very cathartic, and it wasn’t a lie.
“Good, wait until you meet my crazy bunch,” she added with a laugh and I could feel the love in her voice.
*************************
If I thought the house I lived in was majestic it was before I’d seen the Oppenheimer family home… Could it even be called a home? It was more of a flipping manor; it was so far from the entrance that there were golf carts waiting by the security post.
“How many of you live here?” I asked in awe as we stepped out of the car and faced the red-brick manor. The walls grew from the manicured lawn into an abode so large it had ‘wings’ and more windows than a casual glance could count. Its large oak door was double wide and was sheltered under a huge porch supported by stone pillars. The driveway was grandiose, sweeping into a wide circle in front of the dwelling with an ornate fountain in the centre.
Everything about it said expensively built, inside and out. However, despite the size, it wasn’t ostentatious to the point of intimidation as the Astors’ mansion had been.
“It’s just us five, it’s my father’s family home, you see, not something he would just get rid of – it’s not really ‘us’ but it’s homier inside.”
“Uh huh…” I replied unconvinced that it would ever be possible to make such an imposing edifice feel homey.
When we walked in, we were greeted by high ceilings, and wooden floors, the deep walnut stairs ahead were twisted in a perfect spiral, like a child’s slinky toy pulled from each end.
I was interrupted in my inspection by a giggling little human running toward us.
“You hide me, Tay – Mama’s looking,” he breathed, hugging his sister’s leg as he gave her a toothy grin.
“Got your back, buddy,” she whispered with urgency. “Go hide in the pantry, I'll send Ma the wrong way.”
“Love you!” he shouted, running down the hall.
A second later, Taylor’s mom appeared from behind the stairs where she was waiting.
“Pantry?” she asked with a smile coming toward us.
I had to say, I’d only seen Taylor’s mom once, at my introduction party where she was all dressed up with heavy makeup, and she had been stunning for sure with her sea-green eyes and copper hair. But now, in a simple white tee-shirt, jeans, trainers and free of make-up she looked both startlingly young and stunning in a natural kind of way.
“Oh, Esmeralda! I’m so happy you could finally join us!” she beamed, pulling me into a hug which was once again a breach of all the demure attitude I was supposed to show.
“I’m happy to be here,” I replied.
She grinned, pulling back but keeping her hands on my shoulders. “My Taylor can’t stop talking about you. You’re such a good friend.”
“Where’s dad?” asked Taylor.
Her mom laughed. “In his office but you go, you know how much he loves it when you interrupt him.”
Strange as it was it seemed genuine, whereas my own father hated to have us in his space uninvited.
Taylor turned to me. “I just need to go see him real quick.”
“Sure, no problem.”
Her mother chuckled as Taylor rushed away. “She’s just a daddy’s girl, this one.” She shook her head before connecting her laughter-filled eyes with mine. “What do you say about a drink? I need to go to the pantry anyway.”
Her good humor was contagious and I found myself feeling a little less miserable about everything that was happening in my life.
Taylor’s mom was pretending to look for her little brother as she served me a glass of iced tea and then she ‘found’ him hiding in the pantry and tickled him until he begged for mercy.
The vision in front of me tightened my heart in my chest almost painfully, yearning for something I'd never known – the love of a mother. Was it like that when you were happy? Loved?
I was grateful when Taylor sauntered into the kitchen, interrupting the dark thoughts which were causing me some physical pain.
“Okay, done! Want to go to my room?”
&n
bsp; I nodded, finishing the glass in one gulp.
“See you later!” She gestured to her mom who was chasing the giggling little boy.
“That was my youngest brother Michael – or Mikey to the insiders. He is four and exhausting, but mom wouldn’t have it any other way.”
“You have another brother too, yes?”
She nodded as we went up the stairs. “Yes, Peter. He is eight. He’s at his guitar lesson now but you’ll meet him tonight. You’ll see he is eight going on 50, him – a true old soul.”
The love in her voice when she talked about her brothers was so palpable it made me ache for it. I’d hoped it would happen with Archie too – but I realized after the birthday party that it would never happen and I’d been grieving this relationship that had never even started ever since.
I didn’t know what to expect from Taylor’s bedroom but I didn’t expect it to be that…. It was a mix of pink and cream with pink fluffy pillows on the bed and quite a sizable poster of Taylor Swift's new album on the wall.
I was startled by that – unsure why, there was nothing wrong with Taylor Swift. There were even quite a few songs I loved.
“An homage to your namesake?” I joked, settling on the cushioned bench at the end of her bed.
“I love Taylor Swift.” She beamed resting her hands on her heart in a dramatic gesture. “Her songs speak to my soul.”
“She is good.”
“My father got me her for my sweet 16.”
“He got you ticket concerts? VIP I bet.”
She chuckled, shaking her head. “No, he got me Taylor Swift herself.”
“I…” I frowned unsure I understood. “How did he?”
“She came and sang at my party, she hung out with me for a while. She even follows me on Insta now.” She was literally glowing at this. “It was the best night of my life.”
“He got you Taylor Swift…” I whispered, unbelieving. This really was a completely different world. “Engagement rings more expensive than houses, custom-made cars, A-list celebrity rentals…” For my sweet 16 I got a night at the bowling alley and for me that was the best night ever.
I was about to tell her that when a soft knock interrupted us.
“Come in!”
Jonathan Oppenheimer walked into the room. Like his wife I’d only seen him at the introduction party, but here, in the pink bedroom with a bright smile on his lips and a softness in his eyes as he looked at Taylor, he didn’t look that scary anymore.
“Esmeralda, your father agreed for you to stay here for dinner and you may even stay the night if you wish.”
“Really?” Taylor and I gasped in unison.
Her father chuckled, his quiet adoration of her a painful reminder of my own situation.
“Yes, really.”
“Then yes,” I nodded eagerly. “I would love to stay.”
He nodded. “It’s settled then. Dinner will be ready in a few minutes.”
“Dad?”
“Yes, angel?”
“What did you promise him?”
Her father waved his hand dismissively. “It doesn’t matter.”
“Thank you,” I said sincerely.
“Don’t need to thank me, there isn’t much I wouldn’t do for my little girl.” He looked at his watch. “See you girls shortly?”
Tay nodded. “We’ll be down in a bit.” Her dad nodded and closed the door behind him.
Taylor sat on the floor and focused her attention on me. “Why didn’t you tell me?” she asked seriously. I didn’t need to establish what she was talking about.
I sighed, sitting across from her. “Because I didn’t want to accept it. I didn’t want it to be real.”
She nodded. “Yeah, I get that, I wouldn’t want to believe it if I were engaged to him.”
I threw her an exasperated look. “Not helping.”
She bit her lip and winced. “Sorry.”
I shrugged. “It’s not your fault, but I’ll figure something out.”
“Something for what?”
I looked at her with uncertainty. I didn’t know how much I could share with her without giving too much of myself away or putting her in danger.
“Talk to me, Esme.”
“Maybe later.” I pointed at the door. “We’re expected for dinner, aren’t we?”
She looked at me rubbing her pink thumbnail with her forefinger. She sighed, “Okay dinner.”
When we went downstairs, I took the direction of the dining room she’d pointed out to me before.
“Where are you going?”
“I…” I pointed to the door she showed me before. “Isn’t this the dining room?”
Her eyes widened with understanding. “Oh yes, it is! But we never use it, only when we have stuffy dinners or when the Queen Mother, aka grandma, comes for dinner.” She rolled her eyes. “No, we have family dinners in the kitchen. It's much homier.”
“Oh, OK –” I followed her into the kitchen and found a little boy I presumed was Peter setting the table while Mikey was sat playing with his napkin
and Taylor’s mom was getting a huge lasagna out of the oven.
This family portrait was nothing special where I came from but here it had to be an abnormality. A socialite’s wife cooking, eating in the kitchen. It was possible to have this in this reality, you just had to marry someone for love, which unfortunately wasn’t my case.
Peter looked up and smiled at me. “Ah Esmeralda, it’s so good to finally meet you.” He bowed his head at me.
I threw a quick look at Taylor who arched an eyebrow in a ‘I told you so’ way.
“Very nice to meet you too, Peter.” I replied mimicking his little bow
He beamed at me and I knew I had won. “Your lasagna smells heavenly, Mrs Oppenheimer.”
“Oh no, no, please call me Jenny! Mrs Oppenheimer is my mother-in-law and –” she shivered making both me and Taylor laugh. “Please, have a seat.”
I sat beside Taylor and across from Peter and Mikey.
“Ah, you made lasagna!” Taylor’s father marveled as he walked into the kitchen now dressed in a pair of jeans and a dress shirt rolled up to the elbows. He leaned down to kiss his wife’s forehead before taking his seat at the other end of the small rectangular table.
The dinner was filled with laughter, jokes and banter. It made me happy and sad at the same time. I’d asked Taylor one day how she dealt with the people talking behind her parents’ backs, mocking them and the choices her father made. She’d told me then that I would understand once I’d seen the way she lived, and boy did I understand. Her home was full of love and care – they all meant the world to each other and it was true happiness transpiring here, it was not cold and clinical like my home was or even Caleb’s. Of course she didn’t care what people could say or think, you never did when you were so blissfully happy.
It was a bittersweet moment to share, this glimpse of a real family, a love that defied all odds – people who met all their challenges head on and won.
It was something I would aspire to have but never would, at least not if I stayed here.
*******
Later in the evening as Taylor and I were watching reruns of Ru-Paul’s Drag Race in her bed both dressed in flannel pajamas – the set she lent me had pizza slices on it. I decided to open up. I had to talk to someone, I was literally banned from any communication but Taylor was herself, she was normal, she was loved. I could trust her, but I also knew she was keeping me at bay, she had some history with my brother and Caleb she kept so tightly under wraps.
“You know trust works both ways,” I offered, reaching into the popcorn bowl.
She paused the TV and sat straighter on the bed, turning toward me. “I know that.”
“Do you?”
She frowned. “What’s with the cryptic comments? Just tell me.”
I sighed. “You’re telling me there is no history between you and the Brentwood Kings but I know there is history between you and my brother and I’m a
bit hurt you don’t trust me enough to talk about it and yet you expect me to open up.”
She sighed, looking at the ceiling for a second before concentrating on me again. “It’s because it doesn't matter, not really, not anymore, and also because it makes me sad sometimes to be reminded of –” she shook her head and the melancholy etched in her eyes somehow made me regret asking, just not enough to ask her to stop.
“You know how I told you the adjustment here was a bit tough at first, right?”
I nodded.
She grimaced. “Well, it was a little more than tough to be honest. I was the chubby poor kid, with poor kid habits. I was teased constantly by the little princesses at the all-girls primary school but I faked it for my mom. She was already feeling guilty for uprooting me to a life that, whilst dreamlike in so many aspects, was also quite a steep change.”
“Yes, I can relate.”
“Then, when I was nine, we got invited to your father’s engagement party, and this is when I really met Archie.” She smiled, it was a wistful smile, a longing smile. She missed him. “Caleb and a couple of stupid girls from school mocked me and Archie came out of nowhere and punched him square in the jaw. Caleb might be a terrifying sociopath now but Archie has always been bigger than him, even back then.”
“That was nice of him.” I agreed, somehow, I had a hard time picturing my brother as a defender of the innocents. I saw him more like the grave digger, ready to bury anyone Caleb felt like destroying – me included.
“We became fast friends after that, we spent a lot of time together - my father even made me change school so I could be with Archie.”
“What happened?” I was now hanging on every word. “How did you go from best friends to… this?”
She took a deep, shaky breath and the slight glint of tears in her eyes showed me that no matter how tough and sunny Taylor was, there was hurt in there, scars, pain – some due to my brother’s actions and it made me even angrier with him.
“I’m not sure what happened – I guess hormones hit and he became a teenager.” She shrugged dismissively, but I knew it was pretend - I was pretending too much all the time not to notice the signs in someone else. “All I know was that it was the summer just before we started high school, your father sent him to the stupid four-week summer camp that the elite boys have to attend. Archie didn’t want to go but I’m pretty sure you noticed by now that what we want or not has no bearing on your father’s decisions.”