by Elks, Carrie
It was strange hearing their names. As the years passed he’d noticed people didn’t say them anymore. His beautiful wife and gorgeous baby had become ‘them’. As in ‘We miss them,’ or ‘how are you doing without them?’ or even worse ‘you should be over them by now…’
“You don’t need to be sad,” he replied, his voice thick. “You shouldn’t be. Not with something like this. Sara would hate the thought of her death overshadowing your happiness. Having Jacob was the happiest day of her life.” His, too.
Deenie’s eyes were shining. “I think about him a lot. He’d be four by now, right? At pre-school. What happened to them was terrible.” She shook her head. “Your parents are so proud of you, for how you’re coping with it all. If it had been me I would have fallen apart.”
There weren’t many people who would talk to him like this. But Deenie had always been honest and open with everybody. From a young age he could remember her kind eyes and soft words.
“When’s the baby due?” he asked.
“In three months. It’s Ember’s baby shower in a couple of weeks. Her mom’s been driving us crazy with all the arrangements. It’s the first grandbaby on both sides so we’re all a little excited.”
“Do you know what it is?”
She shook her head. “They want a surprise.”
He glanced over at Ember. He’d never met her before but she had a glow only pregnant women seemed to get. She was smiling at Lucas, her hand resting on her bump, her eyes bright as they laughed about something with his mom and dad.
He could remember Sara looking exactly like that. He’d lie behind her, their bodies spooned together as his hand rested on her swollen belly. Sometimes he could swear he could still feel Jacob’s tiny kicks against his hand as he drifted off to sleep.
He lifted his beer to his lips and took a deep mouthful. Weird how those thoughts came out of nowhere, washing over him like an ocean wave. He shook his head to dislodge them, not wanting to entertain the thoughts anymore.
Three years. That was a long time.
Too long to still be feeling like shit. He took another drink to chase the melancholy away.
“How’s retirement treating you?” he asked, turning to Wallace. “Is your golf getting any better?”
“Better than your dad’s,” Wallace replied, not batting an eyelid at James’s quick change of direction. “But that’s not much of a stretch now, is it?”
“I take exception to that,” James’s dad shouted from the grill. “I beat you the other week.”
James leaned back on his chair, listening to the two of them bicker. Deenie was leaning across the table to talk to Lucas, and Ember was smiling at them both. Only his own mom was still looking at him, her lips pressed together. He smiled at her and she smiled back, though it didn’t reach her eyes.
He was still alive, still breathing. And some days he could laugh with the best of them. He wasn’t sure what else he could do to prove to her he was doing okay.
Maybe nothing.
6
“So our next game is guess the size of the bump,” Ember’s mom, Laura, called out across the Beach Club ballroom. “Everybody write their guesses down and I’ll measure her. The closest person wins a bottle of champagne.”
“If you win, the champagne it’s mine, okay?” Caitie whispered to Harper as they both wrote down a number. “I think I need it.”
“I could do with a drink myself.” Harper grinned. “It’s hard being the designated driver for nine months.”
Caitie lifted her own glass, filled with chardonnay. “It’s okay, I’ll drink enough for both of us.” She took a sip and closed her eyes, sighing once the wine had gone down. “Cheers.”
The party had been going for a couple of hours. They’d already played four games, and Ember had opened the gifts they’d all bought from the registry she and Lucas had created. The wine had been flowing all afternoon, making the guests a little giggly. The only two people who hadn’t touched a drop were Harper and Ember, both for the same reason.
“It was nice of Ember to invite me,” Harper said. “She didn’t have to.”
“Of course she did. You’re a friend. And you live in Angel Sands now, so you’re also a neighbor.” Caitie shrugged. “Anyway, she sent you the invite when you were still living in L.A., because she likes you. Everybody does.”
Harper couldn’t help but feel warmed by that. She’d been overwhelmed by the kindness everybody had shown her since she’d moved to Angel Sands. Every time she walked into the coffee shop or the hardware store it was as though she was a minor celebrity. People were always so happy to see her.
“Okay, let’s see your numbers,” Ally said, leaning over the table to look at Caitie and Harper’s guesses of the size of Ember’s bump. “Twenty five inches?” she asked Caitie when she read her scrap of paper. “Really? I don’t think her waist is that small even without a baby inside.” She gave a little laugh. “Don’t tell her I said that though.”
Caitie shook her head, though the smile remained on her lips. “It’s a good job you’re her best friend. Anyway, I’m trying to be nice. Who wants to be told their stomach looks like it’s forty inches wide? This is sisterhood. We build each other up, right?”
Ally wrinkled her nose. “That’s true.” She quickly scrubbed out her own guess and revised it down considerably. “I’m going to say thirty. Not too big, not too small.”
“And no chance of winning the champagne,” Brooke pointed out, her voice deadpan.
“What have you got, Harper?” Caitie asked her, leaning over the table to look at her paper.
“Thirty five and a half inches.”
Caitie opened her mouth to reply when she was drowned out by the squeal of the microphone.
“Okay, has everybody guessed?” Ember’s mom called out, feedback scratching through her voice. “Okay, Ember, come here and let me measure you.”
Ember groaned good-naturedly, but walked over anyway, letting her mom wrap a measuring tape around her waist. She caught Brooke and Ally’s eyes and the two of them started to giggle. “She hates this,” Brooke whispered. “Poor Ember.”
“It’s thirty five and a half inches,” her mom called out. “Who’s the closest? Do we have a winner?”
Ally turned to Caitie and then Harper, her mouth dropping open. “Oh my god, you were spot on,” she said. “How did you know the size?”
“I can tell by looking,” Harper admitted. “I’m a dressmaker. I measure people all the time. Is that cheating?”
“Hell no, it isn’t cheating,” Caitie told her. “You just used your expertise.” Her eyes twinkled. “Now, go get me my champagne. I need to drink it for us both.”
“Maybe they can give you a bottle of fruit juice instead,” Brooke said, sympathetically.
“Harper got it on the dot!” Ally called out. “She’s the winner.”
“Congratulations, Harper.” Ember’s mom still hadn’t figured out that she didn’t need to shout into the microphone. The speakers screeched again, and everybody around the table winced. “Come on up and get your prize.”
Grimacing, Harper stood and walked over to where Ember was standing with her mom, the tape still wrapped around her waist. Their eyes met and Harper gave her a commiserating smile. She also made a mental note; if she had a baby shower there was no way there would be games; she’d rather pull all her fingernails out.
Ember grinned sheepishly. “Congratulations on guessing how fat I am.”
Harper couldn’t help but laugh. “It’s all baby in there,” she said, looking down at Ember’s bump. Funny to think her own stomach would be that big soon. “And anyway, you look amazing. I love your dress.”
“Thank you.” Ember glanced down at her grey-and-white flowered dress. “But I look like a whale. I keep thinking I can’t get any bigger and then I do. How are you feeling?”
Harper wrinkled her nose. “Good days and bad. I was hoping you were going to tell me it all gets better after twelve weeks.”
Ember laughed. “Honestly, it does. You won’t feel so tired or so sick once you’re in the second trimester. And you’re a seamstress so clothes should be easy to find, right?”
“It’s one good thing. And you know, if you want me to make you something I’d be glad to help. Just let me know what you’re looking for.”
“That’s so kind of you.” Ember’s eyes softened. “I might take you up on that.”
“Congratulations,” her mom said. She still had the microphone on.
“Mom, you can turn that off now.” Ember nodded at the mic.
“Can I?” she shouted into the mouthpiece. The sound echoed off the walls.
Ember sighed and took it from her mom, sliding the switch. “There,” she said. “Isn’t that better?” She turned to Harper. “Sorry about the champagne. I guess it’s not much use to you right now. We could exchange it for something else?”
“It’s fine,” Harper told her. “Caitie says she’ll drink it for both of us.”
Ember burst out laughing. “That sounds like something she’d say.” Ember stepped forward to grab the bottle, but the tape around her stomach loosened and tangled around her feet. The next moment, she was in the air, and Harper watched with horror as she landed on the ground in front of the stage with a loud thud, her head and behind slapping hard against the floor.
For a moment the room was filled with horrified silence, but then everybody was getting up and running over, shouting at each other that Ember was hurt.
Harper was the first to get to her, scrambling from the stage to scoot down beside her. “Oh my god, are you okay?” she asked Ember, reaching out to touch her arm. Ember opened her eyes, looking dazed as she glanced around. “Don’t move. Just tell me if it hurts.”
“My head…” Ember let out a mouthful of air and tried to sit up. She reached up to touch the back of her crown, and when she pulled her fingers back there was blood. “I think I caught it on the stage.”
“And the baby? Do you have any pain?” Harper asked urgently.
Ember touched her bump. “I don’t think so.”
“We need to get you to the hospital,” Ember’s mom said, a sob in her voice. “Somebody should call an ambulance.”
Ember was now sitting up right. The dazed look gone from her eyes. “I don’t need an ambulance,” she said, though her voice was wobbly. “And Lucas is on duty. I don’t want him getting a call out to come here. I’ll be fine. Just let me get my breath back and I’ll stand up and we can get on with the shower.”
“You’ve hit you’re head. And you’re pregnant,” Brooke told her firmly. “You should go to the hospital just to be safe. They can take a look at your head and make sure the baby’s fine. Let us call an ambulance.”
“I’m not calling an ambulance for a bumped head,” Ember said through gritted teeth. “I’m married to a firefighter. I know better than that.”
“I’ll take you,” Harper blurted out, wanting to help her new friend. “My car’s right outside.”
“That’s a great idea,” Caitie said warmly, having joined them on the floor. “And I’ll call Lucas and get him to meet us there. I know he’ll panic, but he deserves to know.”
“Okay. But I’m telling you, I’m all right.” Ember’s voice was thin. She turned to Harper. “Thank you. I appreciate it.”
Harper smiled at her. “It’s fine. I’m happy to help.” And she really was. Strange how only a few months ago she was a big city woman without enough time in the day for friends. And yet now she was in the heart of a community, surrounded by people who helped each other without blinking an eye.
Maybe that’s what having a baby did to a person.
* * *
“Ember’s fine, and so’s the baby,” Lucas said, coming out to the waiting room where everybody was gathered. It was as though the baby shower had moved from the Beach Club to the hospital. The room was filled with the low hum of conversation. “It looked worse than it was. Her head has the tiniest bump. No stitches needed. I just need to keep an eye on her tonight.”
“Thank god she’s okay,” Brooke whispered, and gave him a hug. “And how are you doing? You must have been terrified. You made it from the station to the hospital faster than a speeding bullet.”
He smiled at her, and Harper could see the relief wash over his face. His love for his wife and unborn baby shone out of him.
“I’m fine,” Lucas said. “Happy they’re both okay. This definitely gave me a shock, though. I feel like I could sleep until next Tuesday.”
Brooke laughed. “You probably need to get used to it. Nick hasn’t stopped shocking me and he’s almost eleven. That’s the life of a parent.”
Lucas smiled at her and Harper. “Thank you for keeping such a cool head,” he said. “And for driving her here. I know she didn’t want to make a fuss, but I’m glad you made her come and get checked out.”
“It was a pleasure.” Harper felt warmth wash over her again. Looking around this room, crammed with what felt like half the female population of Angel Sands, she was reminded again how caring everybody was. She’d done the right thing moving here.
It was the kind of place you could raise a child in and know they’d be taken care of. That was something she’d never had growing up, even though she’d wished she had so many times.
A group of older women in the corner – Ember’s mom’s friends, Harper guessed – broke out into raucous laughter.
“I’m telling you, the doctors here are hot,” one of them said, fanning herself. “It’s almost worth getting hurt to feel their hands on your body.”
Lucas shifted his feet, and Harper bit down a grin. Even the strongest of men seemed to get uncomfortable when surrounded by a group of tipsy older women.
“That one’s mine,” another woman said, pointing toward the ER reception. “Tall, dark, and handsome, just the way I like ‘em. If I faint do you think he’ll rescue me?”
“I bet so. You fall and I’ll scream out for help.” They laughed again.
“That’s my cue to leave,” Lucas said, shaking his head. “I’m going back to help Ember get ready. We should be able to leave for home shortly. Thanks again, Harper.” He leaned forward to kiss her on the cheek. “I’ll speak to you later, sis,” he said to Caitie.
“Sure,” Caitie said. “I’m going to head back to the Beach Club with Brooke and Ally to tidy up. We’ll bring your baby gifts over when we’re done if that’s okay?”
“I appreciate that. I want Ember to rest. She’s a little worked up.”
“And you should rest, too,” Caitie said to Harper, as if she knew she was about to volunteer to help. “You can head back home and I’ll meet you there later.”
She thought about protesting, but she really was tired. The first trimester wasn’t quite over yet. “Okay,” she agreed.
“You need to be taking care of yourself, too.” Caitie patted her shoulder.
A smile played on Harper’s lips as she watched Lucas walk back to the double doors, leading to the examination rooms. In the corner, a doctor was talking to the receptionist, a few other physicians in white coats at the counter. He was wearing dark green scrubs, a stethoscope slung around his neck, his expression serious as he spoke.
She blinked.
No.
Surely it couldn’t be?
Dark hair, high cheekbones, and eyes she still saw in her dreams. Frank was a doctor? Oh god. Her heart started hammering so fast she thought she was having a heart attack.
“Are you okay?” Caitie asked. “You’ve gone really pale.”
Harper slowly peeled her fingers from her mouth and tried to breathe, because god knew this baby needed all the oxygen it could get.
“That’s Frank over there,” she said, her voice low.
“What?” Caitie followed her gaze to the reception desk, a frown pulling at her lips. “Frank? As in?” She did a double take. “Your Frank? The baby’s father?”
“Yeah.” Harper nodded, unable to take her
eyes off him.
“Which one? The guy standing next to James Tanner?” Caitie rolled on her tiptoes, her head craning to look at the group.
“Who’s James Tanner? I’m talking about the guy with the dark hair.”
“James is the doctor in the green scrubs. His parents are friends with mine. I should go over and say hi. I haven’t seen him in years.”
It was too surreal. Harper shook her head to try and clear her thoughts, but it only made her feel dizzy. She reached out to steady herself on Caitie’s arm.
She was trying really hard to get her thoughts straight. Ever since she’d seen the positive result on the pregnancy test, she’d given up hope of finding him. He was a needle in a haystack, a mythical creature, somebody who changed her life forever and disappeared.
But now he was back, standing right in front of her. If he turned he’d probably see her staring at him. James Tanner.
“Harper?” Caitie said, slowly turning to look at her. “Is James the father?”
“Yes,” Harper breathed, her head still a little dizzy. “I’m sure of it.”
Caitie’s eyes widened as she looked from him to Harper. “James is your baby’s dad?” she repeated. “This is so strange. I can’t believe it.” She turned back to her friend. “What the heck do we do now?”
* * *
James checked his watch as he waited for the registrar to bring up some details on her computer. It was more than two hours after his shift should have ended.
“Here you go,” the woman said, looking up at him from behind the counter. “Her family doctor is based in Angel Sands.” She pressed print on the computer. “Do you want me to call the office?”
“Yeah, please. Give them my contact details and ask them to send over the history as soon as they can. I can’t make any decisions until I’ve seen it.”
“You work too hard,” she pointed out kindly. “You should be resting at home.”
“You sound like my mom.”
She laughed. “Mothers know these things, I say the same thing to my kids. Maybe one day you’ll listen to us moms.”