by Elks, Carrie
“I told her.” He looked amused at her flustered response. “I explained who you are and she understood.”
“What? Wait…” Harper shook her head. “You told her about the baby being yours?”
“Yeah.”
“And she doesn’t mind?”
He gave her a confused smile. “Why would she mind? It’s not her life.”
“But…” Harper blinked. She tried to imagine her grandmother’s response if she’d been in the same position as James’s mom. Her tight lips, judging eyes, and shaking head. “She must think I’m awful,” she whispered. “For being here and being pregnant and everything.”
“She said you were lovely. And she’d like you – or rather us – to go over for dinner one weekend.” He took in her expression and his eyes softened. “Don’t look so worried. It’s me she’s mad at for not warning her. In her words; ‘that poor girl is probably panicking and it’s all your fault, James.’” He grinned.
Harper blinked. “She said that?”
“Yep. On the plus side, she cooks a mean pot pie and she’s determined to feed you up. Especially after I told her how much you like eating.”
“You’re making it worse.” She rose her eyebrows at him.
“Seriously, she can’t wait to properly meet you now that she knows who you are. She’ll probably drive you crazy asking a hundred questions about your pregnancy. And if you’re really fortunate you’ll get treated to photos of me as a baby.”
“Naked?”
He winked. “If you’re super lucky.”
A smile curled at her lips. How she wished she had a mom who thought like that. One who would invite her over and feed her. Someone who’d show interest in her baby or in her life. A mom she’d see more than once every few years when she was between husbands or boyfriends.
“Are you okay?” James asked her. “You don’t have to meet them if you don’t want to. I guess it’s a bit weird, but I figure she’s going to be around this baby once it’s born, and you’ll probably want to know her a bit better.” He tipped his head to the side. “You don’t have to decide right away. They leave for vacation in a few days and won’t be back for a couple of weeks.”
“I want to meet them both,” Harper said quickly. She wasn’t lying; she’d liked James’s mom, and now that she knew Louise was excited about the baby the thought of sharing details with her warmed Harper. “I mean, it’s not as though this baby is going to be surrounded by family. Not from my side at least. It’s nice to know she’ll have one doting grandmother.”
He took a step closer, stopping only a couple of feet away from her. She swallowed, feeling the way she always did whenever he was close.
“Have you told your mom?”
Harper shook her head. “No. Not that she’ll care.”
“How about your grandma?”
“I’m dreading that phone call the most,” she admitted. “So I’ve been putting it off.”
“Why?”
“Because she’ll be so disappointed in me. And I hate the way she looks and sounds when she’s disappointed. She took me in when she didn’t have to, and she dislikes the woman I’ve become. She spent a lot of money trying to craft me into becoming somebody she could be proud of, and I’ve dashed all her high hopes.”
“But you’re not a circus animal. You can’t be somebody else just because they say so.”
“Tell that to my grandma.”
“I will if you’ll let me.” His voice was sure, strong. “If you want me to call her, I will.”
She frowned. “But why? Why would you do that for me?”
He reached out, tracing the sharp line of her jaw with the tip of his finger. She felt a shiver wrack down her spine. “Because you’re the mother of my baby. I don’t like seeing you stressed.” He tipped his head to the side, his eyes sweeping down as he slid his hand around her neck. It was warm and gentle and she couldn’t help but lean into it. “I also think you’re my friend.” He smiled. “Friends look after friends.”
His fingers brushed against the nape of her neck, and she shivered again. This time it hit her at the core, warming her, and making her want so much more than friendship.
Her eyes were still on his, wide and dilated. His jaw hardened, a dimple popping in and out on the side of his face. She wanted to touch it the way he was touching her. To run her finger along his cheekbones, down the predominant ridge of his nose to his soft lips below.
The memory of the night they’d slept together danced in her thoughts, making her heart bang against her chest. The way he’d kissed her jaw, her throat, his lips lingering in the dip of her neck. It made her want everything she knew she couldn’t have.
“You should go home,” he said, his hand still cupping her neck. “Get some dinner, and some rest.”
“Yeah.” She didn’t move an inch.
“Harper?” His eyes dipped to her throat. He slid his fingers down to her chest, tracing the base of her neck, and her breath escaped with a loud sigh.
“Mmm?” She wasn’t winning any awards for dialogue right now.
“Don’t look at me like that.”
“Like what?”
“Like I’m one of those blueberry muffins you get from Déjà Brew and you’re the hungriest woman alive.”
She laughed, she couldn’t help it, and it cut through the electric atmosphere, dispersing the hiss and buzz that had been growing between them. “Hormones,” she told him, wanting to hit herself for reacting that way. “To be honest, I’d probably jump the mail man if he knocked in the right way.”
James pulled his hand away from her and shook his head, a ghost of a smile on his lips. “I’ll walk you out,” he said, taking a step back to increase the space between them.
She took a deep breath to regain her equilibrium. “It’s okay. I can manage it by myself.”
“You sure?”
She nodded quickly. She needed some distance between them before she did something stupid like rip his clothes off. “Goodbye, James. Have a good evening.”
“You too.”
As soon as she closed the front door behind her she let out a sigh. Her life was so damn messy already, and now her body was messing it up even more.
It was time to grow up and stop listening to her hormones. She had a baby to think of.
13
“Thank you for coming here with me,” Ember said as she and Harper stood in front of a rack of baby clothes, rifling through the tiny onesies and dresses. Her bump was so big she had to stand back from the rack so she didn’t hit it with a hanger every time she slid an outfit along the metal pole. “Lucas is so sick of shopping it hurts. And he’s working all the hours he can to build up some leave for when the baby comes.”
“Are you getting excited?” Harper asked.
“Kind of excited and kind of scared. It’s all getting so real now. The baby’s head is engaged and I can feel the damn thing every time I walk. I can’t sleep at night and I’m constantly in the bathroom. I figure having a newborn baby can’t be much worse than hitting this stage of pregnancy.” Ember saw Harper’s shocked expression and laughed. “Sorry, is that TMI?”
“No. I was just hoping the third trimester would be kind of like the second.”
“It is for the most part,” Ember reassured her. “It’s just these last few weeks that have slowed me down. Trying to work full time and grow this little human has taken it out of me.” She cupped the slope of her bump with her hands, smiling. “But I wouldn’t have it any other way.”
“How about the birth?” Harper leaned forward. “Have you written out a plan?”
“Yeah. I’ve had it written since I was six months.” Ember smiled. “But older and wiser women have told me nothing ever happens as planned.”
“Brooke?”
Ember grinned. “Yup.”
“Have you decided if you’ll have an epidural?” Harper asked her, running her finger down a soft onesie. They were all so tiny. Strange to think she’d be dressing her
baby in miniature clothes like these.
“I initially wanted nothing, but decided to wait and see how I feel. I’m not keen on an epidural mainly because my mom couldn’t walk for days after she had me. But if the pain is that bad…”
“Maybe I should take everything they’ll give me,” Harper said with a grin. “It has to be easier if you’re high as a kite.”
Ember laughed. “I’ll tell you once I’ve experienced it.”
Harper lifted a tiny pink tutu attached to a silver bodice from the rack, turning it around to inspect it. Her eyes widened as she caught sight of the price tag. “Jeez, have you seen the cost of this? And the fabric is so cheap. I could make it for a tenth of the price, and it would be far better quality.”
“Are you making your baby’s clothing?” Ember asked.
“I’ve made a couple of things,” Harper told her, replacing the dress on the rack. “But I haven’t really had much time. I had a big order from a boutique in Silver City come in, plus my direct orders have exploded. I’ve had to turn some work down.”
“You have? That’s amazing.” Ember’s eyes sparkled. “Your clothes are beautiful. Annabelle showed me the photos with her and her daughter in your dresses. I can’t believe how lovely they are.”
Harper felt her skin warm up. “Thank you. She did a great job modeling for them. I’ve got a lot of orders off those photos. I sent her some clothes to say thank you.”
“She told me.” Ember nodded. “She was delighted, too. But you didn’t have to. She was just happy to have new photographs for her portfolio.” They wandered over to the bedding shelves. They were an explosion of pastels, with soft yellows and pale greens, and the inevitable blues and pinks. “I hope you’re getting some rest, too,” Ember added. “Caitie told me you’ve been up late sewing most nights.”
“I promised I’d take a break. That’s why I turned down some work. And why I’m here right now,” Harper told her. Everybody has been telling her the same thing. Slow down, take it easy, this baby needs all the energy you need. When it wasn’t Caitie worrying about her, it was James asking if she’d taken too much on. “But I can’t stop altogether. I’ve almost saved enough money for six months’ rent. But I’ll need to keep working until my due date if I want to take a couple of weeks off after the birth. Bills need to be paid.”
Ember smiled sympathetically. “It must be tough doing all this on your own. I’m so impressed by how well you’re handling it all.”
“You think I’m handling it well?”
“Yeah. Look at you. You’re building up a business, growing a baby, and you’re looking so full of health and happiness it’s making me want to bask in your glow. All the while I’m laying in bed worrying that I’ll hate breastfeeding, or that I’ll never want to have sex with Lucas again.”
Harper laughed. “Well I don’t need to worry about the sex part. I’m pretty sure being a single mom will put most guys off.”
“Only the weak ones. The strong ones won’t care. Look at Brooke. She was a single mom for years but then Aiden came around and fell in love with both her and Nick. He’s planning on adopting him.” She squeezed Harper’s hand. “There’s a happy-ever-after out there for everybody.”
“Hmm.” Harper raised her brows.
“You don’t believe me?”
“I just think most guys want a woman who hasn’t had a baby with another guy. A fresh slate. In their eyes I’ll be damaged goods. Or at least returned goods. Not that it matters, because I don’t want to be the kind of mom who’s more concerned about the guy she’s dating than the child she gave birth to. I don’t see myself dating for a long time.”
“That’s so sad.” Ember sighed. “Because you’re so funny, kind, and beautiful. Any guy would see you as a catch.”
Harper blushed.
“Don’t look at me like that.” Ember laughed. “It’s true. Every word.”
“Well you’re very sweet, and I’m so glad I have you as a friend.” Harper slid her arm around Ember’s waist and hugged her, careful not to press her bump. “But that’s enough about my love life – or lack of it. We need to concentrate on buying things for this baby. You only have a month before he or she arrives.”
* * *
“Do you want to go grab a drink?” Rich asked James as the two of them stood at their lockers. “Maybe get a bite to eat. It’s been a while since we had a night out.”
James reached into his locker and grabbed his bag, slinging it over his shoulder. His hair was glistening from the shower he’d just taken. He was more aware than ever of infection control now that Harper was working in his basement. Since they passed at least once a day the last thing he wanted was to bring any germs home and infect her and the baby. His skin felt raw from the scrubbing he’d given himself.
“I can’t tonight. Maybe another time.”
“This weekend? Ah, wait, I’m working on Saturday. How about Sunday?”
James shook his head. “Can’t do. I’m on call. Let me check the schedule and get back to you.”
“I guess it’s just me, a bottle of red, and whatever lucky woman I swipe right on then.” Rich grinned.
“Whatever floats your boat.” James shook his head. “I need to head home. I’ll catch you later.”
“What’s the hurry?” Rich asked. “You’d rather go home to an empty house than have a drink with me?”
James didn’t tell him the house wasn’t exactly empty. At least it wasn’t when he arrived home. Harper was usually finishing up in the basement or waiting for him in the hallway when he finished a day shift, and he was beginning to get used to it. More than that, he was enjoying it.
When he pulled his car onto his blacktop driveway, he could see Harper’s Toyota parked in front of the steps, and he felt his body warm from his toes to his head. For three years he’d hated coming home. Hated the reminders that hit him every time he stepped into the hallway and heard the empty echoes of his footfalls. But now he could hear the whirr of Harper’s sewing machine, or the sound of her humming as she walked up the basement stairs. Even the house smelled different now that she was here. Sweet and full of life. He wanted to capture it in a bottle and keep it safe, in case she stopped coming.
He climbed out of his car, shaking his head at himself. Of course she’d stop coming here. She’d told him herself that she’d saved enough money for her own place, and was actively looking for somewhere that could fit her, the baby, and her business.
He was still frowning when he opened the front door and walked inside. There was no sign of Harper, no clicking and whirring coming from the basement. “Hello?” he called out.
Panic hit him like a sledgehammer, taking him straight back to the day when he’d walked into a quiet house to find the police and his father waiting for him.
There was no reply. He took a deep breath in to stave off the rising fear, then pushed the basement door open. “Harper?” he called louder this time.
“James?”
The relief that washed over him was as strong as the panic. He ran down the stairs, his feet slapping out a fast rhythm, then into the main room, searching her out.
She was sitting on the old sofa in the corner, a pair of headphones wrapped around her swollen stomach. She was blinking, her cheeks pink with sleep. “Hey,” she said, smiling. “Is it that time already?”
He smiled back at her, still drunk with relief. “It’s almost six.” He glanced at her belly again. “What are you doing with those headphones?”
Harper laughed self-consciously. “I’ve been playing Mozart to the baby. I read somewhere that she can hear sounds now, and I figure it’s never too early to shape her musical tastes.”
“I took you for more of a rock chick.”
“I am, but I don’t want to burst those tiny eardrums. I like classical, too, and I’m hoping this kid is going to become a genius like her daddy.”
A shot of warmth rushed through him. He walked over to where she was laying and scooted down beside her, gen
tly pulling the earphones from her bump. “I’m hoping she’ll turn out more like you.”
“You’re admitting she’s a girl then?” she looked at him through her thick lashes. Her skin still creased with sleep.
“I’m just humoring you until the ultrasound. That’s if you still want to find out.”
“I do.” She moved her hands down to her bump, caressing it softly. He was so close he could smell the sweet fragrance of her body lotion. He swallowed hard, trying to ignore the urge to touch her. He’d been doing so well, keeping a level of distance between them since that day his mom had visited her. Pushing down the need to be close to her, to touch her, to breathe her in.
“You can touch it, you know,” Harper said softly, as though she could read his mind. He glanced over at her, and their gazes caught. “I don’t mind you feeling the bump. Maybe she’ll like it.”
He swallowed hard as she pulled her top up to reveal the pale swell of her stomach. Desire pulsed in him, making his hot blood pool in his groin, as he reached out a hand and placed it gently on the side of her stomach.
God, she was warm. Her skin tender and smooth. He moved his fingers, tracing along her flesh, and he heard her breath catch.
“I’m getting stretch marks,” she whispered. “They’re ugly.”
“No they’re not. They’re beautiful.”
The urge to press his lips against her was like a drum in his head, beating out a rhythm he had to fight to ignore. He wanted to slide his hands up, to feel her waist, her breasts, then cup her face until it was angled perfectly to his.
“You should say something to her,” Harper suggested. “Get her used to your voice.”
It was as though he was in some kind of trance. He lowered his head until his lips were only a breath away from her skin, and she let out a long, deep sigh. He licked his lips, trying to think of what to say.
Then Harper’s hand was on his head, her fingers weaving into his hair, and it felt amazing. How he missed this, this feeling of skin on skin. Of a connection with another human being.