by Elks, Carrie
“You taste sweet,” he murmured. “Like a damn fruit bowl.”
“I’ve been bingeing on candy.” She laughed, but the sound died in her mouth as he moved his hand down her throat, along her chest, to the aching swell of her breasts. When he brushed his fingers against the aching peaks of her nipples, she gasped.
“I love that sound,” he told her, lifting his head to kiss her lips again. He rolled her nipple between his thumb and finger, making her moan. Swallowing her cries, he lifted her onto the sewing table, pushing away the scraps of fabric and spools of cotton that littered the surface. She hooked her thighs around his waist as he pressed himself against her, his thick ridge hard and demanding against her core. “Can you feel it?” he whispered. “How much I want you.”
She nodded and he kissed her again, sliding his hands inside her shirt, his fingers feather-soft against her skin. Then he was unfastening her shirt, his movements deft, until it fell open to reveal her creamy abdomen. His eyes darkened as he traced the center of her stomach, rising up and then falling again to her breasts.
“Can I take this off?” he asked her, his fingers toying at the bottom of her bra.
“Do what you want,” she whispered. “I’m yours.”
His jaw tightened at her words, his chest pressing out as he took in a deep inhale. With practiced fingers, he unfastened her bra, pulling the straps down her arms until she was free, her nipples hardening as the air caressed them. He ran his palms over their peaks, then slid them down to cup the weight of her breasts. “Beautiful,” he whispered, leaning forward to capture her nipple between his lips. Oh the sucking, the delightful pull of him. It made her cry out.
“Take your shirt off,” she told him, tugging at the hem. He lifted his arms, allowing her to expose the hard ridges of his stomach, the thick steel of his pectorals, the skin peppered with hair.
The next moment his chest was pressed against hers, warm and taut and everything she needed. His mouth devoured hers. His sighs matched her own as she ran her fingers down the muscles of his back.
God, he was hard. She couldn’t help but squirm against him. Loving how the pleasure shot down her thighs, her calves, sparking in the curl of her toes. Sliding her hands to the front of his jeans, she tugged at his belt. But he pulled her hands away. His eyes narrowed with desire, his hands pulling at her own jeans.
“You first,” he said gruffly. “Then me.”
It wasn’t a command. More a matter of fact. But she liked the way he took the lead, making her feel like she was a piece of fragile china in his hands. He tugged at her jeans as she lifted up her behind, allowing the denim to slide down her legs.
He was kissing her again, his hands fumbling at his belt, as though he couldn’t bear to release her and concentrate on what he was doing. As he took his jeans off, she hooked her hands over his shoulders, marveling at the taut warmth of his skin as it stretched across his muscles. Then they were naked, apart from their underwear, their bodies pressed together.
“You okay?” he asked as he stroked her face, moving his hands down until he captured her breasts once more. She closed her eyes, feeling the pleasure of his touch on her tender skin, her back arching at the sensation.
He slid his fingers down her stomach, then to her core. Just a brush of his fingers against her was enough to make her gasp, her thighs tightening around his hips as he pressed harder against her.
“James,” she whispered, the desire for him coiling inside her. “Please…I need…”
“What do you need?”
“You. I need you.”
“You’ve got me.” He pulled her panties off, smoothing his hands over her bump, his eyes soft as he watched the rise and fall of her chest. She watched as he removed his shorts, dropping them on the floor. Then he was pressed against her again, hot and hard. “Should I get something?” he asked her.
“I’m clean,” she told him. “And I’m pregnant, so I don’t think you have to worry there.”
His eyes crinkled. “I get tested every month for work.” A half-smile pulled at his lips. “And there hasn’t been anyone but you for a long time.”
He hooked his hands around her thighs, pulling her forward until she was perched on the edge of the table. His hips aligned perfectly with hers, the thickness of him pressing against her before he slowly slid himself inside.
Her breath caught in her throat. She hooked her arms around his neck, pulling him down to kiss her once more as he filled her. As he created a rhythm between them that neither of them wanted to stop, her thighs quivered, the pleasure already building.
The first time they were together it had been sex. Pure, simple, and mind-blowing. The second time? He’d scratched a need she couldn’t control any more.
But this time was different; it was more. It wasn’t just about their bodies, or their hormones, or the need that filled her every time she looked at him. It was about the way he made her feel when he smiled at her. The way he touched her like she was something precious. The way his eyes never left hers until they were both gasping for breath.
It was more, because he was more. And now that she had him, she wasn’t sure she’d ever want to let him go.
17
“She didn’t believe a word I just told her,” Harper said as she walked into his living room from the deck. Her phone was still in her hand although she’d ended her call.
James grinned as she sat on the sofa next to him and picked up the plate of Chinese takeout he’d ordered for her. She was wearing the Henley sweater he’d shucked off earlier, the hem skimming the middle of her thighs. Her blonde hair spilled over her shoulders, the pink tips a contrast to the darkness of the top.
“What did you tell her?”
“That I was tired and spending the night in your spare room.” Harper shook her head. “She said, ‘if you’re sleeping in his spare room then I’m the Queen of England.’ Then she asked me if we’d done it only one time or two.”
“Did you tell her it was three?”
“No.” Harper grinned. “I figure that’s our secret. And anyway, we may be able to get through a few more before the night is out. You’re insatiable, Doctor Tanner.”
“You were the one doing the begging.” He winked.
“Yeah, well that’s because you’re a tease. I’m pregnant. If I want something, I want it now.” She reached out to trace his bicep. He’d put his jeans back on, but with Harper stealing his shirt that was all he was wearing. “And I want you pretty much all the time.”
“Is that right?” His voice was husky. God, she did things to him he didn’t know were possible. “You should eat your dinner first,” he told her, ignoring the heat rushing through his legs. “You’re eating for two after all.”
She grabbed a pair of chopsticks from the coffee table and scooped some rice and chicken between them, expertly lifting them to her lips. She swallowed it down, her eyes closing with pleasure, and he tried to ignore the desire building inside of him.
“Aren’t you going to eat?” she asked after she’d swallowed her mouthful.
“In a minute. Right now I’m enjoying watching you.” It was strange how easy it was to be with her. He loved the way she had a huge appetite for all things in life – including food and sex. She was like a whirlwind, transforming his life from sepia to glorious Technicolor.
“Come on. Eat something,” she told him. “I’m starting to feel subconscious.”
He grinned and picked up his plate. “You shouldn’t. You’re beautiful.”
Her eyes softened. “And you’re a sweet talker. You don’t need to go all Mr. Seductive on me, you know? You’ve already got me exactly where you want me.”
“Where’s that?”
“Under you. Over you. Everywhere in between.” Her eyes were hooded as she looked at him, and he felt his body responding to her. She was like a drug he never wanted to wean himself off of. His need for her kept on growing.
“Have you eaten enough?” he asked her.
; She put her plate on the table. “What do you have in mind?”
“I thought I’d show you the spare room. Where you’ll be sleeping.” He grinned.
“Sleeping?”
“Okay, staying awake…” He held his hand out to her, helping her stand. “And then we’ll head to my room where you’ll really be sleeping and do it all over again.”
“Sounds interesting,” she said as he led her toward the hallway and up the stairs. “So far we’ve managed to dirty the basement, the kitchen, and the living room. I guess it’s only fair we christen the top floor, too.”
He opened the door to the spare room and beckoned her in with a flourish. “My thoughts exactly, Miss Hayes.”
* * *
Harper cracked an eye open, her face screwed up as she tried to figure out if it was night time or morning. At some point they’d ended up in his bedroom, and though she’d felt as rung out as a dishcloth – a very sated, pleasured dishcloth – she’d insisted they christen it like he’d promised.
And then they’d crashed into sleep without taking another breath.
She sighed, stretching her arms out, and turned to look at the clock beside his bed.
Four a.m.
Her bladder began to throb, and she slid out of bed, grabbing James’s sweater once again to pull over her naked body.
She padded into the bathroom, catching sight of herself in the mirror. Lord, she looked a mess. Her hair was like a bird’s nest, all tangled and frizzy, and there were shadows beneath her eyes the size of Alaska. And yet she couldn’t help but smile at her reflection. The happiness was spilling out of her.
When she’d washed her hands, she grabbed some toothpaste and scrubbed it around her teeth with her finger. For good measure she sloshed some mouthwash around, then spat it into the sink before washing it away with some water.
James hadn’t moved at all while she was in the bathroom. In the gloom of the night she could see the outline of his bare torso, the white sheet tangled around his waist. His arms were splayed out as though he’d fallen asleep mid-yawn, and she couldn’t help but grin.
He was delicious.
As quietly as possible, she climbed back into bed, lifting the sheet around her as she snuggled against his chest. She felt his hand stroke her mussed up hair. “Hey,” he said, his voice heavy with sleep. “Where have you been?”
“Bathroom,” she whispered. “Sorry, did I wake you?”
He rolled closer, pressing his lips against her brow. “I’ve been skating on the edge of being awake all night. I don’t sleep deeply. I blame it on all the medical training and constantly being woken up by my pager.” He slid his lips to her cheek, making her skin tingle. “Do you need anything?” he asked her. “Water? Pickles dipped in chocolate?”
She laughed. “Do people actually crave those things? I can’t think of anything worse.”
“Cravings don’t seem to follow any pattern. Every woman seems different. There’s no conclusive reason for their existence, or proof they fill any need.” He slid his hand down her bare back. “As a guy, I’m inclined to believe they’re a test to see if we’ll make a good dad. If we run out as soon as you ask us for something, then you know you can rely on us.”
The corner of her lip curled up. “Is that right?”
He shrugged. “Just a hypothesis.” He kissed the skin at the side of her throat. She loved the way he couldn’t keep his hands off her.
“Okay, then. So if I told you I needed a burger and fries right now, would you drive to the all night diner and get me some?”
His eyes softened. “Yeah, but I’d make you come with me.”
“But it’s so cozy here,” she said, snuggling into the crook of his arm. She breathed deeply, loving the warm smell of him. “I don’t think I can move. Plus I can’t think of anything I want less than a burger.”
“Well that’s a relief. Because I really didn’t want to get up.” He grinned at her, his nose sliding against hers. “But I’ll take you out to breakfast if you want.”
“It’s a deal.”
For a moment they were silent. She could hear his soft, rhythmic breathing and the beat of her heart. She snuggled closer to him, placing her hand on his chest, tracing his skin with her outstretched finger.
“Did Sara have cravings?” She glanced up at him.
James blinked. “Ah, yeah. She went crazy for eggs. Hardboiled, scrambled, poached, whatever. She couldn’t get enough of them.”
Harper felt sadness wash over her. Another reminder of how vibrant Sara once was, how alive Jacob had been. How much James had loved them until he lost them so tragically. Her heart ached for him.
“Do you mind me asking about her?” she whispered. “I can stop if it’s weird.”
He licked his lips, his brow furrowing in thought. “No, I don’t mind. I kind of like it. It’s strange, trying to fit everything together in my thoughts. Being able to talk about them makes it easier somehow. Like I don’t have to hide anything from you.”
“I don’t want you to hide anything,” she said softly. “They were your life. They still are.”
He traced his finger down her spine. “For the longest time I didn’t think I’d want to be with anybody else ever again. After Sara and Jacob died I assumed that was it for me. My chance at happiness was gone. I threw myself into work and spent time with my friends and my family, but I protected the space they’d once filled inside me. I didn’t want to allow anyone in or forget about them, because that would mean I’d lost them forever.” He swallowed hard. “And I couldn’t do that.”
“They’re not gone,” she whispered, splaying her hand out on his chest. “They’re in here.” She took his hand, and pressed it to her abdomen. “And here, too, because this little baby is Jacob’s sister. And that connects us all.”
“I went to the cemetery,” he told her, his palm caressing her stomach.
“To visit their graves?”
“Yeah. I needed to think about things. Clear my head.”
“Did it work?” she asked him.
He turned onto his side, placing his other palm on her stomach, too. She looked down, watching as he slowly cupped the swell of her bump. The gesture made her breath catch in her throat. When she looked at him, he was staring down at her, his brows knitted together, his lips parted.
He made her heart ache in the most delicious of ways. She wanted to lay here forever, the three of them, protected from all the pain the world could cause.
“Yeah,” he finally said, his voice soft. “It worked.” He was still gazing intently at her stomach. “I realized how much I want this. Us. This baby. And how fucking scared I am to lose it all again.” He leaned down to press his lips tenderly against her stomach. She cupped his cheeks with her palms, feeling the roughness of his skin against her. It was hard to breathe, to think, to do anything except watch the rawness of his emotions.
“I was sitting by Sara’s side in the hospital when they told me Jacob had died during surgery,” he said, lips still pressed against her skin. “I’ve never felt a pain like it. I wanted to curl up and scream until I couldn’t hear anything else. To block everything out until the world went dark.” He let out a mouthful of air. “But instead I prayed. I prayed Sara would die, too; I never wanted her to know how bad it felt to lose our son. And I wanted her to be with him, wherever he was, because I couldn’t cope with the thought of him being alone.”
Harper’s eyes filled with tears. When he looked up at her, his lids heavy, she could see the glisten of water in his, too. She pressed her lips together to stifle a sob, because this was his pain, not hers.
“Can you imagine wanting your spouse to die?” he whispered. “What kind of man does that make me?”
“A selfless one,” she said, her voice cracking. “A man who’d do anything for the people he loves.”
With her hands still cupping his cheeks, she dropped her head to press her lips against his. She could taste the salt of his tears mingling with her own. “I can�
��t imagine what it was like to lose the two people you loved the most,” she whispered. “To be the one left to carry all the pain and grief. The strength you showed… the strength you still show…it’s almost incomprehensible.”
Her body was filled with emotion for him. This strong, damaged man staring into her eyes. She wanted to take away his pain, to make everything better, and she ached knowing she couldn’t.
And yet there was another thought, one that saddened her. The knowledge that if Sara and Jacob hadn’t died this baby wouldn’t be growing inside her. She wouldn’t be here in his bed, laying in his arms, whispering to him that he was going to be all right.
She took a deep breath and kissed him again, feeling his lips move against hers as his arms slid around her waist. Life was complicated, sometimes confusing as hell, but the way she felt when he touched her was so simple it cut through everything else.
The past was gone, and though they could mourn it, they couldn’t change a thing. The future was knocking on the door and they couldn’t ignore it either.
And as they kissed, Harper was certain she wanted to fling it wide open and let the light of the new day flood the darkness away.
18
“It’s official. I’m carrying around a week old baby in my stomach and I don’t like it one bit.” Ember sighed and looked down at her swollen stomach. “I’ve tried everything. Exercise, scary movies, spicy food.” She lowered her voice and leaned across the table, her stomach pressing against the edge. “And sex. Lots of sex. Every position I can get myself into, and even that hasn’t worked.”
She and Harper were sitting at a window table inside Déjà Brew, overlooking the golden sand as it sprawled out to the ocean. The sky above them was full of wispy candy cotton clouds, the sun hazy as it tried to fight its way through them. The breeze lifting from the ocean was enough to cool Harper’s skin, so they’d opted to stay inside instead of at their go-to table on the deck.