by Jayce Carter
He hadn’t touched her, hadn’t grabbed her, hadn’t forced himself on her.
She even got used to his constant prattling.
It made her smile, though she fought it. He’d say something odd, something random, and she’d have to steel herself against the twitch of her cheek.
The moment between them before, when the scent of his arousal had filled the space, had shaken her. Not just the smell, though. That was life, since it seemed a soft breeze could turn an alpha on. No, it was her reaction. It was the way his smell had her own body heating, had her wishing she could crawl into his head and know what he thought of.
Of some other female? Of her? Of the night they’d fucked until morning? She’d pushed the ideas away, embarrassed by his reassurances, shamed by the way they helped.
He hadn’t dwelled on the issue, instead returning to his jokes, his memories, his conversation like it had never happened.
Still, when the clock struck eight that evening, it seemed his ability to sit still had left. “Okay, that’s it.”
Claire jerked upright from where she’d sat on the floor, alphabetizing a shelf. “What?”
“We’ve been here since ten this morning and neither of us has eaten. Time to go.”
“I’m not hungry.”
“Well, I am, and you need to eat anyways.”
Claire pointed to the stockroom. “I have beef sticks back there. Have at them.”
He released a soft, playful growl. “No one can live off that trash. No, come along. I’m taking you for a proper meal.”
Claire scrambled to her feet when Joshua stood, unable to stomach the idea of being on the floor with him so close. She needed to be able to run, to flee.
Tension lined his eyes, but he didn’t lose his smile. “It might be backward, but since I’ve already had sex with you, isn’t a dinner customary?”
“I’m not going on a date with you.”
He huffed. “You know, most girls would be flattered to have me taking them out.”
“So, take one of them out.”
He took a slow step toward her, close enough for his scent to reach her nose. Not the diluted scent she’d bathed in all day, the one that had soaked into the walls of her shop while she’d avoided him. a strong scent from their nearness. Instead, this was a strong scent straight from the source that tempted her to lean closer.
He reached out, tucking a lock of hair behind her ear, the move as charming and fake as so much of him. “I like it when you play hard to get, sweetheart. However, I can hear your stomach. You need to eat, to sleep, and I would be a lousy alpha if I didn’t ensure that happened.”
She opened her mouth to tell him something rude. She wanted to tell him that she’d cared for herself for a long time and didn’t need some overbearing alpha to do it. She wanted to tell him that all alphas were lousy, so he’d fit right in. Hell, she wanted to tell him a hundred other things peppered with insults.
Instead, he leaned in and silenced her with a kiss, one so fast and so good she didn’t have a chance to consider why she shouldn’t want it.
When he pulled back and she remained speechless, his smile widened. “I thought I’d keep you from saying something that might hurt my feelings, because once you start to like me, you’d regret it. Now, if you can manage to pay attention and stop distracting me with kisses, we were headed to dinner.”
Claire stood there as he slid her jacket over her shoulders and walked out of the shop. How does he manage to do that to me? She was still wondering that twenty minutes later, sitting across from Joshua in the restaurant.
“Why books?”
Claire lifted her gaze from her plate of food, trying to ignore the candles on the white linen-covered table, trying to put on her best “we are not on a date” face for anyone looking. “What?”
He pointed his fork at her. “Books. You run a bookstore. Why? I don’t know many people who wake up one day and go, ‘hell, I’d like to spend all day with books.’”
Wouldn’t it figure an alpha couldn’t figure out what interest a book would have? “You wouldn’t understand.”
“I sure won’t if you don’t explain. Come on, just try. Believe it or not, beneath these handsome good looks, I do have a brain.”
Claire set her fork down, dropping her gaze to her plate to collect her thoughts. “I liked the fantasy of it. When I was a kid, when I knew what my future was going to be, I liked reading because I could be anyone, do anything.” She took a deep breath, the words spilling from her in the small private booth. “I wasn’t gaining weight when I was young, and when running tests, they found out I was an omega. I grew up knowing I’d be given or sold to someone, that I had no future of my own. Other kids grew up planning a future. They wanted to be soldiers or doctors or teachers. I didn’t have those choices, though. I didn’t have anything to look forward.”
“Is being a mate so terrible?”
“The fact you can ask me that shows you don’t understand. You get to do whatever you want. You got to decide your future. Me? I had to change my name and leave everything to have any sort of life for myself. I mean, I’m here having dinner with you when I said no. Clearly, what I want doesn’t matter.”
His lips pressed together, that line appearing between his eyebrows. He said nothing at first, instead lifting his glass and taking a drink, to fill the silence. “I guess I never thought about it that way.”
“Of course not. You never have to, so why would you? It’s not a part of your life.”
“Was I supposed to let you starve?”
“I wouldn’t have starved. It was one day.”
“But, just as I don’t understand the way you feel, you have to realize you don’t understand how an alpha feels.”
“How hard is it to understand your need to control everything?”
He shook his head, pushing the basket of breadsticks toward her, the same unspoken request for her to eat more that he’d been making all night. “You see control, but an alpha sees care. When I see an omega, something precious, it sparks a need to protect. When you’re in heat, my instinct tells me to satisfy you. When you’re hungry, when your stomach grumbles and you rub your temples, my instinct demands I feed you. Not doing so, allowing you to go on uncomfortable or in pain, it screams in my head. It’s a physical pain, a constant need.”
Was that how they felt? It sounded so nice, like this perfect idea where they were two sides of the same coin, where they needed one another and melded perfectly.
Claire shook her head. “That’s a nice idea, but there are plenty of alphas who don’t take care of omegas.” As she spoke, the memory of James, of the alpha who had claimed her at eighteen, washed through her.
Joshua’s eyes narrowed at her shudder, but he did the thing he did so often and placed a flat smile over his lips as if it hid his first reaction. “You want to tell me who it was that taught you that?”
“Just general knowledge.”
“You don’t flinch the way you did because of general knowledge. You don’t get that haunted look in your eyes, either. No, sweetheart, whatever it is is pretty damn personal.” He shrugged, the tension sliding from him. “However, since you clearly don’t want to talk about that, how about we change the subject?” He tapped his fingers on the table, the action drawing her gaze to them, forcing her to hide the blush when she remembered just how talented he was with those fingers.
How could he draw her back to their time together with such ease? After years of avoiding and not wanting any alpha attention, just the tap of his fingers teased and tempted her.
“Are you listening?”
She snapped her gaze up, her cheeks warm. She hadn’t been listening, of course, totally lost in thought.
His smirk said he knew it. “There are better things we can talk about.”
“I don’t recall wanting to talk to you about anything.”
He leaned in so his words wouldn’t carry, and the action made the table seem small, providing none of the def
ense she’d expected it to. “Your eyes keep dropping to my fingers. I’m sure you remember how they felt on you, sweetheart. I sure remember the sounds you made when I used them on you.”
She swallowed, the gulp loud even in the noisy restaurant. Or maybe it seemed loud in her own ears, over the pounding of her chest. He made her notice each thing, made each thud of her heart and each inhalation loud and obvious, as if he studied them all, dissecting her piece by piece.
But, he did. The way he watched her had her recognizing the predator beneath the jovial mask he wore.
“Are you wanting a repeat?”
She shook her head.
He tilted his head and reached out to draw a finger over the back of her hand where it rested on the table. “Do you even realize you’re lying? Because you are lying, through and through. Your pupils have dilated, your breathing has sped and you’re leaning toward me. I can smell you, too. Normally, I wouldn’t be able to smell your arousal as clearly, but because I bathed in so much of it during your heat, I’m attuned to it. You want me even if you don’t realize it.”
This time she jerked her head, a single denial. “What happened before—”
“When we fucked you?”
Heat fanned over her cheeks, down her throat and chest. “That was biology. I couldn’t help it. I don’t want anything like that again.”
He huffed a soft sound. “You do want it. You don’t want to, but that doesn’t change that you do. You got a taste of something you’ve been missing and now you’re wondering what more you could have. Let me show you.”
“Show me what?” Claire’s voice came out so husky she didn’t recognize it.
She’d never spoken like that, never dared. Teasing someone, suggesting something she had no interest in was a dangerous game and she’d never had an interest. But, was that the point? That maybe he was right?
Am I actually interested?
He leaned farther until his breath warmed her lips, until the table didn’t seem to exist between them at all. “Everything, sweetheart. I’ll have you moaning and panting until you’ve forgotten all the reasons you didn’t think you wanted this. You have a voice made for moaning, for gasps, for all the sounds I’ve heard you make already. I want to hear them when you’re clear-headed, or as clear-headed as you could be with my tongue shoved deep inside your cunt.”
The vulgar word shocked her more than anything else, like a hot drop of wax on her skin, a sting that only made her burn hotter. He didn’t stumble over it, didn’t show any sign of nerves, like telling her he wanted to—she couldn’t even bring herself to think it—was the most natural thing in the world.
Even if she couldn’t think the words, the image wouldn’t leave her. She recalled flashes of such things from her heat, the press of a tongue against her, the way strong hands would grip her hips to force her to take each stroke.
“I don’t know,” she whispered, her chest tight.
“Well, that’s better than a no. Come on, trust me, just for a few minutes. There’s a backroom here. I know the owner, and I promise if you give me five minutes, you won’t regret it.” He stood, then held his hand out to her.
He didn’t grab her, didn’t yank her back toward wherever he planned to take her. If he’d done that, she’d have resisted. She’d have pulled away, lost herself to nerves. Instead, he waited. He remained still, giving her the choice. If she said no, he’d sit. They’d finish eating. Then what?
It was the waiting, the stillness, the question he asked without asking that got to her.
What did she want?
Claire answered by setting her hand in his.
Chapter Five
Claire’s pulse fluttered beneath Joshua’s touch, her thin wrist doing nothing to hide the way she shuddered.
But her smell drew him closer. He wanted to breathe her in, to hold her down and inhale her until she soaked through his body.
When was the last time he’d wanted a female so badly? Sure, he lusted after all women, but Claire?
She was different, and he hadn’t experienced that in years, hadn’t met a female able to draw his notice more than once.
Joshua pushed the thought away while he tugged her into the small back office, a nod at the security guard who grinned. Sometimes knowing people paid off, and he’d done enough work for the owner that taking up their room for as long as he wanted wouldn’t cause problems.
And when Joshua twisted Claire, when he pushed her back against the door and found her throat with his lips, when his tongue tasted her racing pulse, he knew he’d want a long damn time.
Fucking her with Bryce and Kaidan hadn’t bothered him. They shared a lot, their lives, really. They’d always expected that, should they ever decide to settle down, it would be the three of them and a single female. They worked together, closer than blood, than brothers, a bond that gave strength to each.
Still, he couldn’t deny that having her all to himself pleased him.
She inhaled a shaky breath and pushed his shoulders, tension high.
If he ever found out who’d hurt her, he’d tear the worthless bastard apart. He wasn’t someone who shied away from the uglier parts of life. He knew damned well what happened to some omegas, the lives they lived, but those were abstracts.
He’d even helped to save some of the worse-off omegas, an under-the-table aspect of their company. He recalled one girl, Fiona, a teenager but old enough to have started having heats. She’d weighed nothing, the fucker who had taken her using medication that kept her in a near-constant state of heat.
It had been Kaidan who had carried her, the best of them with women, who had set her down for the doctor, who had held her hand while they’d examined her. She’d lived, he supposed, hidden away and silent for years since they’d rescued her. Every once in a while, they’d head up to the little cabin she lived in outside town to check in, to update security. In the five years since they’d saved her, she hadn’t uttered a word, hiding away in her room when they came.
Still, the push of Claire’s hands on his chest had him moving back enough to give her space.
“Wait,” she whispered.
“Sure, wait. Yeah.” He dragged a rough hand through his hair, while he struggled for control. “Told you, this is up to you. Not about to force you.”
Her hands remained on his chest, fingers curled in, blunt nails pressed against his skin. Her breath spilled against his chin and throat in broken panting. “You can’t crowd me.”
Ah, is that it?
When not drunken by her heat, she didn’t want him so close? Not so overpowering?
He could work with that. He’d work with anything he had to.
Joshua nodded, setting his hands on the wall as he lowered himself to his knees. “How about this, sweetheart? This okay?”
The way her eyes widened, that rose color dancing over her cheeks—it had his eager cock jerking against the zipper of his pants.
He wanted her. He wanted her more than he wanted anything. He wanted to bury his face against her and never let her go.
Instead, he waited.
Claire’s tongue, pink and wet enough to catch the light, darted out to her bottom lip before she nodded.
He needed no other yes. He flicked open the button of her pants and slipped the fabric down her toned legs. He lifted one of her feet and pulled the shoe off, allowing him to free that leg. Good enough. He didn’t need her nude for what he wanted, and the longer he gave her to think, the greater chance she’d lose her nerve.
He returned his fingers to the waist of her panties, the simple black ones that hid the part of her he’d kill for right then.
Her back went straight, so he flattened his hands against her. Wait. Don’t rush it. He pressed his lips to her hip, followed the lace trim there until he reached the tempting point. That, he scraped his teeth against.
No matter how he chided himself to be gentle, he couldn’t fully tame his primal side.
He continued the line of kisses over her l
ower stomach as he set his hand on her inner thigh. He trailed his fingers up the soft, warm skin. The muscles beneath twitched, but as he slid his hand higher, she inched her feet outward.
Nerves and fear might hold her back, but she wanted this.
When he reached her pussy, hidden by the black fabric of her underwear, he brushed his fingers across her. The second pass had him pressing the fabric firmer against her, able to feel heated slit and her folds. He could picture her spread out for him as she had been during her heat, the way her nipples tightened and darkened for him like an invitation.
He’d get another real look eventually, once he’d earned her trust.
Joshua moved his fingers until he could use his thumb to rub her hidden clit through her underwear. The black fabric had soaked up her wetness, a temptation he’d never be able to resist. He lifted her leg, the one he’d stripped the pants and shoe from, and set it on his shoulder to open her wide. It forced her to balance on a single leg, but he set his hand on the wall, and she wrapped her fingers around the wrist for balance.
Damn, he liked her leaning on him.
Unable to resist anymore, Joshua allowed himself the barest of taste. He flicked his tongue along her core, rubbing his stiffened tongue against her clit. It hardly sated what he wanted, his desire to pin her thighs wide and feast for hours until she was a trembling, sobbing mess.
He used the small taste to hold him over before slipping his thumb beneath the drenched crotch of her panties and stroking her clit, which had swollen beneath his touch. Joshua sat back on his heels to stare up her body. It would be better if he’d stripped her down, but even still, it left him breathless.
Her shirt, not tight or revealing, still showed the outline of her breasts, the peaked nipples pressing against the fabric like an offer. Again, his cock throbbed, hard and desperate and ready.
No chance he’d have her then. She was too flighty, too nervous, too wily. It would take time, but his body refused to ignore its needs, either.