by Jayce Carter
She opened her mouth to answer as if his voice compelled her. Only the words died on her lips and that same spark of fear ignited.
It happened so fast he jerked back. All the simmering lust had combusted into terror. She shoved his chest, her breathing quickening and turning shallow.
“Claire.” He reached for her, wanting to tell her to breathe.
She held a hand out flat and flinched away. “Stay back,” she whispered, words shoved through a tight throat. Her hands trembled as she dug into her pockets until she retrieved a set of keys. She tried to line them up, but the shaking meant she couldn’t manage it.
When they clattered to the floor, Bryce crouched to gather them. Despite how she cowered, he slid the key into the lock and twisted, then opened the door for her.
“I can’t do this,” she told him, her back to him, refusing to look at him.
“We’re not doing anything.”
“Whatever you want, I can’t be. I won’t be that, not ever again.”
Bryce set a hand on the door frame, just above hers, close enough their fingers brushed. “You have no idea what I want.”
“Yeah, I do. Go away, Bryce.”
“It’s not safe. You’re not safe here, not as long as you have these secrets and you refuse to share them. I can’t leave.”
Claire twisted, stepping into the house as though the threshold offered some magic barrier he couldn’t pass. “I don’t want you here, not in my house.”
He frowned at the tone in her voice. She was honest. Not just afraid, not just nervous, but this? This was a line for her.
He was not welcome in her home.
He imagined her creating a nest in her bedroom, surrounded by the soft blankets she’d want when her heat happened. He pictured how he’d stand back as she built it, as she crawled into it and waited for him.
But she didn’t want that, didn’t want him.
And no matter what he wanted, he’d never force her. He pressed his lips together and stood straighter. “It’s not safe for you. You can’t be alone.”
“Then send someone else.”
She prefers Joshua or Kaidan?
He’d never been a jealous man, not with the other men who were more than brothers to him, yet a tightness in his chest forced a growl from his lips.
She paled at the sound, so he cut it off, silenced it.
“Fine,” he snarled and turned his back on her, on the house.
He’d never expected to have something of his own, so why did it hurt so fucking much when he turned out to be right?
Chapter Seven
“What are you doing here?” Claire’s suspicion came out loud and clear through the metal screen that stood between she and Kaidan.
“We already told you, you need protection. That hasn’t changed.” He put his hands in his pockets but made no move toward the handle, no attempt to get into the house. Let her realize I’m not going to do anything.
“Bryce called you?”
“He did.”
She stared at him. Was she waiting for him to lecture her? Too bad for her, because he wasn’t someone to do that. He preferred letting people figure things out on their own, found the lessons sunk in deeper that way.
“I’m not inviting you in.” She snapped the words, like the silence had gotten to her.
Kaidan’s lips tilted up before he nodded and grabbed the chair sitting at the edge of the porch. It groaned as he sat, and for a moment he expected to topple onto the hard porch.
“What are you doing?”
“Sitting.”
“You can’t just sit there all night.”
He leaned back, legs kicked out and crossed at the ankles. “I can, actually.”
The same tense moment as before passed. Even though from his spot he couldn’t see her, he could imagine her look. Unsure, expecting some reaction from him that would hurt her. She did it a lot, he’d come to realize. She waited as if sure he would blow up, that he’d scream or attack her. The tension would sit between them, thick and suffocating.
He could have said something, tried to reassure her, but he knew better. Eventually, she’d get her feet beneath her, sure up her courage, and continue.
“Why aren’t you trying to come in?”
There you go.
He grinned. “Because you don’t want me in your house.”
“So? Since when does that stop an alpha?”
He folded his hands in his lap, trying to look as non-threatening as a male his size could. “I’d tell you I’m not like that, but you won’t believe it. You’ll just have to see in time that not all alphas are alike.”
“Instead, you’ll sit alone on my front porch? Because that’s not creepy at all.”
He turned, catching her with his side-eye. “Well, I’m not alone right now. Maybe you don’t dislike my company as much as you want to pretend. Why don’t you grab a chair and talk with this nice locked metal door between us?”
She hesitated at the door before the soft falls of her steps said she’d left. Would she come back? Would she take him up on the offer, or was he stuck sitting by her front door all night?
He’d stay either way, but a nice conversation would make the night pass faster.
When she returned, he kept his back to her. He didn’t speak, letting her make up her own mind, letting her argue with herself in her head.
Claire took a deep breath then unlatched the lock. She teetered off-center as she leaned out, a plate with a cup of something hot and half a muffin on it in her hand. One good breeze could knock the girl over, but she seemed unwilling to bring any more of her body out into the open.
Kaidan laughed softly and took the items but made no move to follow.
Claire yanked back, throwing the deadbolt on the screen door, her breath fast and loud even through the screen.
“Thank you.” He lifted the cup to his lips. She makes good coffee.
Shuffling from inside said she hadn’t left. A soft sipping made him guess she had a cup of her own.
“You should get some sleep,” he said.
“I’m not tired.”
He took a bite of the muffin, the plate balanced on his knees. “Of course you are. I can hear it in your voice. Do you always neglect your needs like this or is it because of us? Because of your heat? Because of the stress we’re causing?”
“I’ve taken care of myself for a while now. I’m fine at it.”
“No, you’re really not. You clearly have been neglecting your basic needs as an omega, which is why your heat happened the way it did. Since then, you haven’t eaten properly, haven’t slept. The store is well organized, the house well kept. I’m going to guess you take care of everything except yourself.”
“I’ve got a lot to think about. I don’t rank very high on the list.”
“Not surprising. People like to think of omegas as weak, but the truth is they simply don’t think of themselves. Most are so busy taking care of everyone else their own needs drift away.”
“Are you going to say that’s why they need an alpha?”
“Yes.”
She didn’t answer immediately. Instead, she seemed as if the answer surprised her, like she’d expected him to lie. “I don’t need anyone, least of all some overbearing alpha.”
He took offense at the statement. “Really? Even after you admit to not taking care of yourself? Love, you misunderstand me. Omegas and alphas, they fit. Each has evolved to counter the other. Alphas have grown more protective, more aggressive. They’re driven to see to the care of their omega. In turn, omegas are driven to care for all those around them. Alphas, unchecked, can be vicious and single-minded. Omegas unchecked can be selfless to the point of harm. Omegas calm alphas, and alphas care for omegas. When they fit together correctly, it is to the benefit of both.”
“That sounds nice,” Claire admitted. “But it hasn’t been my experience.”
He considered her reaction to Bryce, to how she hadn’t wanted Kaidan in her home. It all p
ointed to one thing. “You haven’t invited an alpha into your home before, have you? It’s not just that you don’t trust us, but you’ve never actually invited one in.”
“No. I’ve lived alone a long time, and I’ve made it a point to avoid alphas.”
He crossed his ankle over his other knee, plate still balanced in his lap as he thought about her all by herself in that house. “That sounds lonely.”
“Lonely isn’t so bad.” A soft thud and the rustle of the door made him think she’d rested her head against it. “Lonely is safe.”
“It only seems safer. Bryce and Joshua have saved my life countless times, and I owe the two of them more than I could ever repay. Life is hard enough on its own, so I can’t imagine not having others to rely on.”
Claire didn’t respond for so long, Kaidan wondered if she’d left. Had her courage run out?
When he’d almost lost hope, she released a long sigh. The hinges on the screen groaned as she opened it, then held it for Kaidan.
Despite not saying the words, the point was clear. She was inviting him in, and that meant for the first time ever, she was willingly inviting an alpha into her personal space.
He stood, plate and cup in his hand, and didn’t comment on the choice before sliding in past her.
Claire’s home reminded Kaidan of her. Simple, but warm. She had extra sets of things, things that appeared well used. Plates with chips, cups and glasses showing wear.
She didn’t date, didn’t seem to have many friends. Who exactly spends time in her home?
“Do you have roommates?”
She stared at him, her back against the wall. She’d yet to turn around, to let him out of her sight. Her body remained rigid as she watched him, expecting attack. “No. I live alone.”
“So, who spends so much time here?”
“None of your business. Besides, you and your buddies keep saying you’re not jealous.”
Kaidan smiled at her biting wit, at the way she stood up to him even if she didn’t see the strength in herself. “We have no jealousy with one another, but that doesn’t mean we’re willing to share with anyone else. You don’t allow alphas in here, but I’m not interested in sharing you with betas, either.”
Claire watched him with the caution and study of someone who wasn’t sure what she thought of him. Finally, she shook her head. “Just friends. Romance hasn’t been on my mind for a long time.”
“Not since your bad experience?”
“No. And before you think anything positive, I wouldn’t have started with you, but I didn’t have a choice.”
“We all have choices, Claire.”
She sighed, rubbing her hands over the tops of her thighs. It drew his attention to her figure again, as if it had ever really left. She had hips he’d like to grasp, to hold close. Everything she did screamed omega. The fact she’d thought for a moment she’d be able to pass as a beta made him shake his head.
She was all protective, all caring. He could have spotted her a mile away even if she hadn’t been mid-heat. It reminded him of how much he missed having an omega, how much he missed the softness and grounding they lent to his life.
Not that he had a bad life. The family he’d created with the other alphas suited him and the work they did pleased him, but nothing could quite replace the warmth and softness of a female. He wanted to go home to an omega, to the life one could bring to a house, to make it a home.
“You can’t sleep in my room,” she said.
“Didn’t plan on it.” Which was only half true. He wouldn’t force the issue, but he’d be lying if he tried to say he hadn’t hoped.
The little bit of attention she’d gotten wasn’t nearly enough to sate her. Lust crawled along the edges of her eyes each time she glanced his way. Deny it all she wanted, he could see the need inside her, smell it on her.
Instead of risking anything else, he nodded toward the sofa. “I’ll take the couch. It will let me keep an eye on the front door.”
Her answering yawn had him wishing he could tuck her into bed and press a kiss to her sweet lips before watching her slip into an easy sleep.
Since that wouldn’t happen, he only sank his hands into his pockets to keep still. “Go on, love. We’ll talk more tomorrow.”
Her wary eyes wanted to argue, but exhaustion won out. She nodded, backing away, still unwilling to turn on him. “Goodnight, Kaidan.”
The door shut, and he couldn’t help the stupid grin at the way his name sounded on her lips.
She couldn’t sleep.
Hours passed, the house silent, but the scent of alpha wouldn’t let her rest. Her body ached, molars grinding, thighs pressed tight together.
She craved his touch. No matter how many times Claire told herself to stay put, reminded herself of the danger, she couldn’t stop. Her mind would drift back to Kaidan’s hands on her, to the way his tongue, soft and giving, had stroked against her clit.
He’d do that again. She knew it without asking, knew he’d give her anything she wanted. Nothing came for free, though. There would be a price, and she had no idea if she could pay it.
Still, she couldn’t help it.
She considered trying to quell the fire herself. She could slip her hand between her legs and get herself off, despite the fact that she hadn’t done that, hadn’t wanted it in so long. Her fingers brushed down her body before she shook the insane thought loose.
First, he’d know. No alpha could remain asleep if she gave in. He’d smell her, drawn by it. Even if he didn’t force himself on her, they’d both know she’d done it and why. Besides, giving in felt like losing some part of her she didn’t want to lose. She’d surrendered so much of herself to her nature, to them. She didn’t want to give that, too.
By the time two rolled around and she still hadn’t managed to unwind, Claire pulled a robe over her pajamas and crept from the room. Tile chilled her feet, but she kept going. Soft snores from the couch drew her closer, told her Kaidan slept.
She lied to herself, said she could turn back, said he was sleeping so she wasn’t doing anything. Just one quick look, a reminder of his size, his strength, his danger, and she’d go running back to her bed.
Except, when she passed the couch, she froze.
He was stretched out on his back, shirt off, legs hanging over the arm rest, body too large for the small couch. His arm rested behind his head, eyes closed, face relaxed. The snores from his lips made him seem innocent, almost young.
This was what she feared? This man, who snored and slept so soundly she could have hurt him, was who she’d panicked from? Who’d she flinched from? Not just him, but any alpha. He was the nightmare that kept her up, and yet as she surveyed him there, she couldn’t find that fear.
The wide set of his shoulders, the muscles in his chest, over his stomach—they all said yeah, he was what she feared. That fear was held back by want, though. The desire inside her at the sight, the smell, the memory…it all dammed the fear back, gave it no room to escape.
She came forward, each step slow, caution, careful, silent. Above all, silent.
His scent pulled her closer until she crouched beside him. Her body demanded she taste him again. Between her heat and the time with Joshua, she was starved for the taste of alpha. Those had given her the barest satisfaction, had reminded her instinct what it wanted. Now? Now it screamed for more.
She reached out, her trembling hand hanging in the air.
Can I do this?
The heat had been out of her control. Joshua, in the backroom of the restaurant—that had been her giving in. She’d surrendered to an instinctual want, but Joshua had offered. He’d held out what she wanted, coaxing her forward.
This? This would be all her. It would be her taking what she wanted, not reacting but acting. Could she change the way she saw herself by doing this?
The rise and fall of his chest, the way the waist of his pants drew a line across his stomach, the line of his cock, hard even in his sleep, against his jeans,
answered for her. She might be damned for it, but she needed.
Just before she made contact, though, she lifted her gaze to find his eyes open and staring at her.
He’d caught her.
She left her hand hanging in the space between them, caught between what she wanted and what she feared. Claire rested on a threshold between the two lives—the one she’d lived and the one she might have.
She just needed to take a small leap.
“Go on,” he whispered, his voice soft as if he didn’t want to startle her.
“This doesn’t mean anything.” It can’t mean anything.
“Sure.” Amused sarcasm colored his answer.
She remained on the balls of her feet, muscles tight. She offered more of the tentative touches, sliding her fingertips over his arm, tracing the solid muscles there, running over each rough knuckle. “I couldn’t sleep.”
“Because I’m here?”
She nodded as she stroked over each finger, her motions slow and methodical. “I couldn’t stop thinking about you.” Her voice dropped lower. “Or smelling you.”
His eyebrow lifted, but he let the statement stand. He nodded toward himself. “Go ahead. You know you want to.”
“I’ve never wanted to before. What did you do to me?”
“Nothing, at least nothing you haven’t done to me, as well. You know alphas and omegas can bond, and this is the start of that.”
“Why would I bond with you? I don’t want that.”
“You may not want to eat, may not want to sleep, but it doesn’t stop your body from needing it. You’ve spent so many years denying your instincts, pretending they don’t exist, that now they’ve broken free and refuse to listen.”
“I can’t do that again. Why would my instincts put me there again?”
He reached slowly but didn’t grab her. Instead, he cupped her cheek in his palm. “It won’t be like that again. Whatever happened before, it won’t be like that this time. Give in, just for tonight. I won’t touch you, not unless you ask. Sate some of your instinct with me. You’ve spent too long denying it, so allow yourself just for a short while.”