by Jayce Carter
“Omegas are people, and most have been dealt a shitty hand. There’s not a lot more to it than that. If we can help, we do. You don’t need a bad past to think that beating on someone is a bad thing, that it’s something that should stop.”
The words, like all of Joshua’s, sounded great. They sounded so easy. He helped people who needed helping, right?
But Claire hadn’t had that experience. “You always know what to say, and you look at me like I’m foolish, but I’m not. I’ve lived this my entire life.”
“What have you lived, Claire?” Bryce asked.
A day or two before, Claire would have shut up, would have kept it to herself. Instead, she blurted out the truth. She hadn’t told anyone what had happened with James, not since Penny, not since that first night when she’d sobbed out her story to the older omega. Some bond had formed between them, and the story poured from her lips.
“I was eighteen when he found me, when he realized what I was. It was my first heat. I didn’t know to expect, didn’t even realize it was coming. He made me his mate against my will, and my parents were only too happy to let it happen when he paid them enough.”
“How long?” Kaidan’s coaxing voice compelled her to continue.
“I was with him for two years. Two years of being locked inside a house when he left, two years of bruises and screaming and insults. Two years of being his toy, his trophy. Two years when no one cared what he did because he was an alpha and I was just an omega and that was my place in life.”
Her knuckles ached from her grip on the fork, but she couldn’t release it, couldn’t stop her words. “And don’t you dare tell me that was just one. I have helped omegas. I’ve seen them beaten and raped and murdered. I’ve seen shells of people left over and I’ve seen cops do nothing and I’ve seen omegas handed over like property. You tell me you’re different, but can you blame me for not believing it?”
Something touched her hand and she jumped. Kaidan handed her a napkin and it was only then she realized the wetness that tracked down her cheeks. She used the cloth to wipe away the tears she rarely cried, her face down to hide them.
It shamed her worse than anything else. She’d picked herself up from nothing, built a life, helped others and yet there she was, broken.
And they saw it. That hurt the worst, that these men who had all the power in the world got to see her break down, got to see the scars she carried that never healed.
She pushed the seat back and stood, gaze down, unable to face any of them. “Sorry,” she mumbled, moving away from the table. “I’m sorry. I’m going to go to the bathroom.”
No one spoke as she left, or maybe they did but she couldn’t hear it over the screaming in her own head. Why had she said a word? Why had she told them anything?
The reason was obvious. Whatever she had with them terrified her, and Jackie’s death was opening all those old wounds.
She shut the door to the bathroom behind her and turned the water on to splash her face. A face, blotchy from tears and eyes rimmed in red met her in the mirror, and no matter how much she told herself she didn’t care how to looked to any of those men, it wasn’t true.
Claire’s flushed skin cooled beneath the cold water, but even after she was done, she couldn’t face them, not yet. She parked her ass on the edge of the tub, the water running to hide behind. She dropped her head into her hands and closed her eyes.
Memories of James swamped her. She remembered how he’d grinned when she’d gone into heat, how damned scared she’d been. It had been overwhelming, so much more than she’d ever expected. He’d hardly had to coax her at all, her body doing all the work.
The door opened, but Claire didn’t lift her head. She didn’t care who it was.
A hand stroked through her hair, gentle and sweet.
Kaidan, then? She knew his touch, as distinctive as a voice.
“I’m sorry I ruined dinner,” she whispered.
“You didn’t ruin anything.” The water turned off, then his voice came closer. He’d probably crouched beside her. “We needed to know, to understand. You’re right that alphas can fail to understand what many omegas suffer through.”
Claire lifted her head, wanting to see the truth in his eyes, needing to see that he really did understand. “It’s why I can’t be whatever you want me to be. Even if you’re different, even if all of you are different, I’m not.”
“You spend a lot of time deciding you aren’t what we want without ever asking us. Do you think Bryce wants you because you’re easy? Because you’re convenient? Because, love, you’ve been neither of those things. And do you think Joshua wants you because he’s desperate for a relationship?”
“He seems pretty good with women, so it wouldn’t shock me.”
Kaidan shook his head, but kept eye contact. “Joshua beds a lot of women, but he hasn’t had anything similar to a real relationship in fifteen years. It’s his story to tell, but trust me, you are not what he planned for.”
“And you?”
He rubbed his fingers against her scalp, a gentle stroking that seemed mindless. “I want you very much. I find when I don’t have someone to care for, a piece of me is missing. You don’t make caring for you easy—you don’t always need it, you don’t want it often—but I like that. I’ve been with women, beta and omega, who have taken advantage of that side of me, those who haven’t always treated me well, who have taken and taken and never given. You? You give, and you only take when forced, and I like that.” He leaned in, his forehead to hers. “This isn’t what any of us expected, and it’s scary to each of us in its own way, but I have to believe it’s worth it.”
The closeness helped her smell him, helped her senses ease. She couldn’t deny the bond between them, the way she craved him, the way just his nearness settled her. That alone frightened her. “I can’t stay.”
“You still want to run? Even knowing what we want, even with all our promises, you still want to run from us?”
Not just from them. And would they want her anymore after she’d killed Kieran? Would they want her if they knew what she’d done to escape her first alpha? People wanted omegas who were sweet, not ones who killed alphas.
Still, the gentle tone from Kaidan had her answering. “I have to. When everything’s done, when I finish what I’m doing, I have to go.”
“What are you doing? Tell me, and we’ll work it out.”
Instead of telling him, she stole an almost-there kiss from his lips. “It doesn’t matter. I’m going to have to leave, but not yet.”
“I’ll talk you out of it.”
“You won’t be able to.”
“Then we’ll find you. Wherever you run to, we’ll find you.”
If she survived.
Chapter Eleven
The sun beat down on Bryce’s shoulders through his shirt, and he turned a snarl toward it. He hated the sun, hated the heat, hated the unease he carried.
Claire had gone to work that day after he’d put their numbers in her phone and taken a look around her shop. Joshua had ordered the supplies needed to properly secure her place of business and Kaidan had headed to her home to look there. He hoped she’d choose to remain at their home, meaning little would need to be done at her place.
It left Bryce responsible for checking in with Kieran.
He knew they intended to meet in a few days to finalize the arrangements, since Kieran had been upfront about their communications.
If it had been anyone else, Bryce might have felt uncomfortable with an alpha so near his omega. He knew Kieran, though, had for years. He often helped with the rescue cases, giving technical expertise Bryce and his brothers lacked.
Besides, Bryce had to remember that if he pushed too far, Claire would bolt. She needed freedom, and that included space, privacy. She had a life and he couldn’t not allow her to take a meeting with a trusted friend just because that friend happened to be an alpha as well.
Still, Bryce didn’t care for the idea.
> Kieran lifted an eyebrow as he looked at Bryce. “You look terrible. I thoughts omegas were supposed to make you feel good.”
Bryce moved away from the large window. “Yeah, turns out they’re a little more work than that.”
“So it seems from what I found on her. You know, I spotted her as an omega the second she walked in here.”
Bryce’s lip curled up, flashing his teeth.
Kieran huffed an unimpressed laugh. “Stop it. I have no interest in her, not before I knew she was yours and certainly not now.”
Bryce straightened, pulling back. It took a moment to get himself under control, but he managed it. “Sorry.”
“I’m not a fan of damaged goods, and she is more than a little damaged.”
Another deep breath and Bryce lowered himself into the chair. “Yeah, I know.”
“She didn’t want any alphas in her shop. I’m surprised she let one, let alone three, anywhere near her.”
“That hasn’t gone easily. Please tell me you found something else on her?”
“I did. You sure you want it all?”
“I can’t keep doing this blind, and she’s as tight-lipped as they come.”
“It wasn’t easy. Whoever set her up with that identity did a good job, and she’s covered her tracks. Not a single call back to her hometown that I’ve found.”
That had Bryce’s attention. Kieran had found her information, found who she really was?
Kieran kept going. “Her real name is Cathryn Todd. She’s actually thirty-three, though she goes by twenty-nine now. She has an official mating document for only a week after she turned eighteen, signed by her parents.”
“Her parents agreed to the mating?” Despite her story, the idea the people who should have cared for her hadn’t done so had frustration mounting in Bryce.
“There was a large money transfer just before. It’s not uncommon for alphas to pay off parents for omegas to get them young, and it helps explain how she managed to not contact them in all these years.”
Bryce ground his molars, and for a moment, he considered a visit to those parents. They deserved some payback for what she’d suffered, and he was in a position to ensure it happened. To distract himself, Bryce asked, “She said she was with him for two years. What happened?”
“Two years after the mating, the alpha was found dead, a few bullet holes in his chest. Official record says a home invasion gone wrong, and the omega went missing. They assumed an alpha killed him to steal her. She’s still listed as missing.”
Missing? The options swirled through Bryce’s mind. Had someone attacked her as well? Had she used that as a way to escape? Had the person who attacked the alpha saved her? Had the home invasion been a set-up from the start, and the ring who she helped set it up? Maybe she’d made friends with someone who—
“You’ll drive yourself crazy trying to figure it out,” Kieran offered, breaking the train of thought. “From what I can tell, no one has any leads. I don’t think anyone but that girl can tell us what happened. What I can tell you is that whatever it is still haunts her. I saw it in her eyes when came in here, and I know I’ll sleep easier knowing the asshole who hurt her is dead.”
Bryce rubbed his fingers against his eyes. He’d gotten answers, but damn, he wasn’t sure they helped at all.
* * * *
Joshua watched Claire move around her shop and couldn’t fight his smile. She walked with a contentment and confidence he rarely saw in her. When alone in the store, among her books, she relaxed.
Would she ever relax like that around him? Could he picture her, cuddled on the couch, her legs thrown over his lap as she read? He’d walk his fingers up her legs, teasing her while she tried to focus on her book.
Could he settle into that life? Could he allow himself to need someone again? The last time he’d done so, when he’d mapped out a future that included a loving mate and children, having it stolen away had destroyed him.
He remembered when he’d found out. He hadn’t answered his phone, on a job with Kaidan. His mate hadn’t been due for another few weeks, so neither had worried. First babies always came late. He’d kissed her goodbye when he’d left and stroked his hands over her belly. He’d crouched and pressed a kiss to her belly, whispered to his unborn daughter.
Kaidan had gotten the call when Joshua had ignored his phone. He’d seen the truth in the tight lines of his friend’s face. He’d assumed his mate had lost the child, a sad reality at times. He hadn’t expected Kaidan to sit him down and explain his mate had bled out as well.
In moments, Joshua had gone from mate and expectant father to widower.
Could he do that again? Could he risk it again?
Then Claire leaned up on her toes, reaching for a book near the top, angled precariously and wavering, and he knew the answer. He’d already made the choice to risk it again.
The door signaled his entry into the shop, but Claire didn’t react with startled fear. She inhaled, as if her instincts had finally started to wake. “I can’t reach it.” She pointed at a large green book near the top.
Joshua moved to just behind her and reached above her. His body pressed against hers, dwarfing her, reminding him of their size difference. He slid his hand up her arm as he reached for the book, pulled it down then handed it off to her. Still, he didn’t move away.
“You’re a bit close,” she whispered.
“Not close enough, sweetheart.” He set a hand on her hip and crept his fingers beneath the hem of her shirt.
“I don’t think you know what close enough means.”
He slipped his hand to the front of her pants, toying with the button in a tease. “I can keep going and see if we can figure it out. Maybe you can teach me? I’d love a good lesson from you.”
She shuddered and leaned against him for a heartbeat, for a spark of trust that burrowed beneath any of his defenses. As quickly as it happened, she brought an elbow back into his side. “I’m sure you didn’t come by for that.”
He pressed a kiss to the top of her head then stepped back. “I could have. It would have been worth it.”
Claire turned and set the book on the counter, then gave him a look of exasperation that made him want to kiss the annoyance from her face.
Instead, Joshua picked up the food he’d left on the counter. “I figured you hadn’t eaten and thought we’d have lunch.”
“What is it with you guys? You’re always trying to make me eat.”
Joshua reached into the bag and pulled out the two wrapped sandwiches, setting one before her and one before him. “I worry about you.”
“Why? You don’t even know me.”
He pointed at the chair on the other side, then took his own seat. “I don’t need to. You’ve ignored your instincts for so long you’ve forgotten what they feel like. You know that sensation in the back of her neck, near your skull, when an alpha orders you to do something?”
Her gaze dropped to her food as she unwrapped it, frowning. “I don’t know what you’re talking about. You’ve told me to do things all the time.”
“Not with any sort of command, any pressure. I’ve been careful not to do anything like that with you.”
She tugged at the thin strip of masking tape. “I don’t think that affects me anymore.”
“Eyes up here,” Joshua said, command dropping his voice low with the force behind it.
Her gaze snapped up to his in a heartbeat, her pupils widening.
Joshua looked away first, giving her a chance to regain her footing. “That feeling? That’s instinct. It’s something programmed inside you deep down, and it’s in everyone. Yours tells you to respond to my voice, and mine tells me to ensure you’re fed, that you’re warm, that you aren’t hurt.”
“Only because I’m an omega?”
“Partly.”
“Kaidan told me you hadn’t had many relationships. Is this just how you treat all women? You keep telling me you’re not just any alpha, but I’m not just any omega, either.
”
Joshua shifted in his seat, stretching his back at the answers to the questions she wasn’t directly asking. Still, she deserved to know, didn’t she? “I haven’t had any sort of real relationship since my mate.”
“When was that?”
“Around fifteen years ago.”
“What happened?”
Ah, there it was. The real question, the one he’d ignored. It reached out and slashed across his cheek, the answer sticking in his throat.
But how could he ask her to trust him if he wouldn’t even tell her the truth? So Joshua took a deep breath and offered the story. “My mate, Sandra, was an omega. She was pregnant with our first, and we were expecting a little girl. While I was out on a job, she started to bleed. She called an ambulance, and they took her to the hospital, but she had a placental abruption. She died, and the baby died.” The words came out flat, low, dead.
A warmth on his hand. Claire had reached out and set hers over his. “I’m sorry.”
Joshua turned his hand and laced his fingers with hers. “After that, I decided it wasn’t a risk I wanted to take again, so I kept relationships casual. I didn’t service omegas in heat. I didn’t sleep with the same woman twice. I did everything I could to make sure I wouldn’t bond again, that I wouldn’t risk having another mate.”
“So what are you doing here? I don’t want to force you to—”
Joshua squeezed her hand to silence her. “You’re not forcing anything, sweetheart. I hadn’t planned on this and I won’t say I’m not nervous as hell about it, but I’m here for a reason. So, no, you’re not just any omega. Every other omega, I’ve sent on their way, and you? You, I keep chasing.”
She stared at him, both of them silent as if trying to figure out what that all meant. Did they believe one another? Claire leaned up in the chair and over the counter to touch her lips to his, the counter too wide to allow for much contact. Still, she seemed determined to steal the sweet kiss.
So Joshua gave in and leaned forward. He slid a hand behind her neck and deepened the kiss. He tasted her, the action causing his body to demand more. Who was he kidding? Clearly he’d bonded already, given how he hardened so fast, given how he needed to have her.