“Let’s put it this way—if I got upset and wanted to talk something out, he would leave the room. If I started crying, he would leave the house.” Maddy sighed. “I told myself when we got married that he was just repressed—from an uptight family—and I would change him in time. But of course I never did.” She shook her head. “My mom tried to warn me. She always said,‘The only time you’ll ever change a man in any way is when he’s a baby and you’re changing his damn diaper.’ And boy, was she right.” She laughed sadly.
“I do not know what a ‘diaper’ is but I am sorry your mating wasn’t what you hoped for,” Calden murmured. “Maybe if your bond had been stronger…”
“Bond?” Maddy frowned. “You mean our emotional bond?”
“No.” Calden shook his head. “I mean your soul bond.” Then, apparently seeing Maddy’s look of confusion he said, “Don’t your people form a telepathic bond with their mates when you join together? A bond that allows you to hear each others’ thoughts and feel each others’ emotions?”
“Uh, absolutely not,”Maddy said, frowning. “That would have driven me crazy, being inside Pierce’s head all day. And he would have hated being in mine too.” She looked at Calden. “Are you telling me that your people form that kind of a bond?”
He nodded. “So I’m told, anyway. I have obviously never experienced it myself. But supposedly a Kindred is able to form a bond with any female he joins with permanently. My people say it is the Goddess’s way of putting two people together for life.” He made a skeptical face. “But I do not believe that—I think it is just a product of Kindred biology and our need to tie our mates to us securely.”
“Wow…” Maddy shook her head. “I’ve never heard of anything like that before. But I guess…with the right person it might be kind of nice.”
“It’s better than ‘nice’—it ties those who are bonded together for life and allows them a deeper understanding of each other than is possible in any other way.” Calden sounded almost wistful as he spoke of the Kindred bond.
“You sound like you wish you could have that with someone,” Maddy said softly. “Like you wish you could find the right girl to bond with.”
He shook his head. “I never thought I would want such a deep attachment to anyone but lately…” He reached over and stroked a strand of hair out of her face. “Lately I’m beginning to understand why my Kindred brothers went in search of new brides to bond with. Why they wanted so desperately to find the right females.”
“Oh…” Maddy felt her cheeks getting hot at his gentle touch and the way he was looking at her. Their eyes locked and somehow she found she couldn’t look away.
Surely he couldn’t be thinking of bonding with her, could he? After all, the two of them were completely incompatible due to their size difference. They might enjoy a lot of physical pleasure together but they would never be able to consummate a sexual relationship—which she guessed was part of what it must take to form the bond he was talking about.
“Um…where did your people go? I mean, are you still in contact with them?” she asked, unsure of what else to say.
Calden sighed. “I joined the Mentat station five standard years ago and they were going in the opposite direction. They are long gone and the last time I went out to my shuttle and tried to raise them on the long-distance vidscreen, I got no reply.” He shook his head.“I told myself at the time that I did not care but now…now I am not so sure.”
“You miss them?” Maddy asked softly. He had that wistful tone in his deep voice again.
“I do. It would be nice to talk to my old friends and find out if they have found any females as they hoped to do. Maybe…get some advice about the matters I have on my mind.”
“Well if you have a ship, maybe you could go find them,” Maddy suggested. “I mean, if you have an idea what direction they went. I know it’s a long shot though—space is so vast.”
Calden shook his head. “My work is here. In fact, I’m beginning to think I want the study of your world’s creatures to be my life’s work—I want to devote my whole career to studying them.” He looked at Madeline. “And I hope you’ll help me.”
“I would love that, Calden,” she murmured.
The idea of living and working with the big Kindred, of helping him understand the biology of the Earth’s many animals which would otherwise be lost forever, was immensely appealing to her. But she didn’t like the idea of him giving up on his dream and never seeing his people again.
“Are you sure you couldn’t find them if you looked—the other Kindred, I mean?” she asked.
He shook his head again. “I could search a thousand years and never find them.” He cupped her cheek and looked into her eyes seriously. “I’m just glad I found you, Madeline.”
“Thank you.” Her heart was drumming fast against her ribs as she looked up at him. “I’m glad you found me too, Calden.”
They had slipped down from their sitting position against the headboard and were lying on their sides in the big bed, facing each other. Maddy cuddled closer and the big Kindred welcomed her into his arms eagerly, drawing her to him and pillowing her head on his muscular bicep.
Maddy sighed contentedly, her knees drawn up against his flat abdomen as Calden stroked her naked side and back with one large, gentle hand.
Just the way I was stroking Snuffy and the other little branthas earlier, she thought, which made her smile. She felt a drowsy kind of contentment but she was well aware that the big Kindred had given her a mind-blowing orgasm and she hadn’t done anything in return.
“Calden,” she murmured sleepily, looking up at him. “I want to touch you too—want to make you feel good the way you made me feel good.”
“Mmm, that sounds very intriguing.” He gave her a lazy smile. “But I think for now, you look all tired out, nieka. It’s been a long day—why don’t we get some rest?”
“Don’t you want me to touch you? And what…” Maddy yawned. “What does nieka mean?”
“Little one—tiny one.” Calden stroked her cheek again. “And of course I want you to touch me but for now, I want you to get your rest.”
Maddy gave a sleepy laugh.
“You know, ‘little one’ is the last nickname I would have had among my own people. I was always too tall—too big—compared with most Earth guys.”
“They must have been puny creatures then,” Calden rumbled. He reached down and pulled the silvery sheet up over the two of them and then called, “Lights off,” in an authoritative voice. “Good night, nieka,” he murmured. “Rest well.”
As long as you’re with me, I will, Maddy thought but was too sleepy to say it out loud. She was sure that in the morning she would realize all over again how inappropriate what they had done together had been but for now she just wanted to relax and enjoy the new closeness she felt to the big Kindred. She couldn’t remember the last time she’d felt so safe and cared for in a man’s arms—she’d certainly never felt this way with Pierce, not even after years of marriage.
This isn’t right and you know it, Maddy! You shouldn’t be feeling this way, whispered a little voice in her head. You ought to be feeling guilty that you’re the only one who survived the wreck of the Kennedy and grieving for Pierce. You ought to be worried about the future. What’s going to happen to you here? What are you going to do with the rest of your life?
But Maddy didn’t want to hear any more about what she ought to be doing. The fact was, she felt too warm and safe and happy in Calden’s arms to care. His spicy scent along with the delicious aroma of the blossoms which still pervaded the air seemed to lull her into a feeling of safety and contentment. She pushed the little voice aside, ignoring the warnings it tried to give along with the guilt, and drifted off into a dreamless, peaceful sleep.
* * * * *
Calden held her for a long time before he also allowed himself to sleep. Gods, she was beautiful, his little Earth female. And the way she had responded to his touch was…well, there wasn’t
a word in his vocabulary to describe it. It went beyond anything he had ever seen or felt or experienced. He felt like he had been only half-alive until Madeline came along—going through life only half awake.
Only she didn’t just “come along,” whispered a little voice in his head. The droids found her remains—remains which are currently still in storage in your lab—and you cloned her, Calden. How happy do you think she’d be to let you touch her and pleasure her if she knew the truth—and knew that you’d been keeping it from her? You have to tell her—you can’t hold it back much longer. Especially now that you’re falling in love with her.
The thought brought him up short. In love? Was he really falling in love with the curvy little female?
Calden supposed he was. He certainly had all the symptoms he had always read about with dry indifference back on his days aboard the Mother Ship—the desire to protect and provide for her, the need to pleasure and taste her, the longing to always be near her and never apart from her. Weren’t these all the symptoms of love?
How well he remembered thinking such an emotion was ridiculous—implausible. He had read about it in the same detached way he might read about a deadly disease which had very specific symptoms but which he himself was highly unlikely to catch.
And now I’m catching it and I don’t even care that I’m sick, Calden thought and had the urge to laugh. But was he sick? He very well might be—why else would he be contemplating falling in love with a female who had started out as a specimen and whom he was incompatible with?
You won’t be incompatible for long if the bonding fruit plant bears fruit, whispered a little voice in his head. Bonding fruit makes everything possible, doesn’t it?
That was certainly what his friend, Ren had believed—which was why he had insisted on Calden taking the seed of the bonding fruit plant in the first place. But the plant had been drooping—almost dying—until Madeline had touched it. Then, suddenly, it had sprung to life and produced blossoms. Could fruit be far behind?
Calden frowned. Why had the plant reacted in that way to Madeline’s presence? Had it somehow sensed that it was finally needed? And was it needed? Should he attempt to bond with Madeline? Should he try to make her his and tie their lives together permanently?
But you swore an oath not to—not to take a mate or have any kind of relationship with a female while you live and work aboard the Mentat station, he reminded himself.
True, but who’s going to know that you’re having a relationship—that you’re bonded? whispered a tempting little voice in his head. No one but you knows about the bonding fruit and what it makes possible. And no one knows what happens in the privacy of your quarters. Privacy in one’s private quarters is sacrosanct—that much is promised by FATHER itself when a new member joins the station.
Would it be possible to have Madeline admitted as a member of the scientific community and then bond with her secretly and live and work here aboard the station side by side?
At the moment, anything felt possible. Calden didn’t like the idea of lying to FATHER or the Mentats but they didn’t understand Madeline—or any female, for that matter. They didn’t know how to care for a female or cherish her, Calden told himself. He did—therefore he had to protect Madeline and keep her safe from their prying eyes.
Closing his own eyes, Calden dropped his head so that he could breathe in the aroma of her hair. Gods she was so sweet and tiny and perfect! He swore to himself that he would do everything in his power to protect her and assure her status at the station. Then, when he was sure she was safe and she had the self-termination unit removed, he would tell her the truth about her origins before asking her to bond with him. They would live out their lives together and never be alone again.
He was certain it would work.
Drawing Madeline closer, he dropped a soft kiss on the top of her head and at last allowed himself to drift off.
Chapter Eleven
Madeline caught herself humming a little tune as she attempted to twist her hair into a knot at the nape of her neck and made herself stop. She knew she ought to be grieving and miserable—sad about the loss of the other members of her crew and guilty that she was the only one who had survived—not to mention devastated about the loss of her late husband. But somehow she couldn’t make herself feel all that.
Instead she felt…happy. Which she knew was totally wrong, but she couldn’t seem to help it. She did know the reason for it though—it was Calden who was making her hum to herself and feel all warm and tingly inside. Every time she was near the big Kindred, her stomach turned to butterflies and her heart started to pound.
You’re falling in love, whispered a disapproving voice in her head. Falling for him even though you know you shouldn’t. Shame on you, Madeline!
But somehow she could scarcely even feel guilty.
Part of that was because she was always so busy. She and Calden had fallen into a kind of routine. They got up every morning and had First Meal—she was really beginning to like his Kindred food, though she was sometimes homesick for Earth cuisine—and then waited until all the Mentats were hard at work to go to the enzyme baths.
After their bath, it was straight to Calden’s lab where Maddy helped him catalogue and understand his new Earth specimens. He had cloned a calf, a lamb, a piglet, and a foal at this point—and they all seemed healthy so she had high hopes that they might live out a normal life-span instead of dying early, as some of Calden’s other clones had done.
They worked hard all morning—had a quick but satisfying lunch—then went back to work until it was time to knock off for the night and come back to Calden’s quarters. Once there they often skipped supper in favor of making long, leisurely love to each other.
Not that they were actually able to have penetrative sex—they had actually tried but there was no way Calden’s shaft could fit inside Maddy’s pussy, no matter how wet she was or how hard she tried.
“Stop, nieka,” he had murmured the night before, as Maddy straddled his lean hips and attempted to get him inside her. “I don’t want you to hurt yourself.”
“It should be possible,” Maddy argued, at last giving up in defeat. “Women’s bodies are built to have babies, after all—this part of me is meant to stretch.”
“Maybe in time you’ll be able to open enough to take me. Maybe…possibly, there will be a solution soon,” Calden had murmured.
“Oh, are you working on something in your lab?” Maddy had asked eagerly.
“Not exactly but there is something I have hopes for. No—please don’t ask me the details.” He shook his head mysteriously. “I don’t want you to be disappointed if this idea doesn’t, ah, bear fruit. But I have high hopes for it, right now.”
“I hope it’s something that will help us be together,” Maddy had murmured, snuggling close to his side and pillowing her head on his broad chest.
“I hope so too, nieka.” He had pulled her close and dropped a soft kiss on the top of her head as they cuddled together in the vast, Kindred-sized bed. “Now why don’t you let me taste you again? We know my tongue fits into your sweet little pussy just fine.”
“Mmm…yes it does,” Maddy had murmured and despite her disappointment at not being able to take his shaft inside her, they’d had a very pleasurable night after all.
She knew it was probably wrong and premature but more and more she found herself longing to be completely joined to the big Kindred. It was as though she had discovered a new hunger—the hunger to have him completely inside her, filling her, loving her…and bonding her to him forever. She wondered if they would really form the telepathic connection he had assured her all Kindred formed with their bonded mates and hoped they would.
Maddy caught herself humming again and shook her head. She was so head-over-heels for the big Kindred it was ridiculous—and probably shameless considering that it had been only a little less than a week since she’d awoken in the slimy green nutrient bath and he’d caught her climbing over the ed
ge to try and get to freedom. But she couldn’t help herself somehow—no matter how often she told herself that they were going too fast and she needed to put on the brakes, she just couldn’t seem to do it.
Every time she was determined to start pulling away from Calden, he would come into the room or she would catch him watching her with a loving expression in those warm, topaz eyes and then, before she knew it she was in his arms and he was kissing her.
And then kissing led to other things… Maddy shivered with desire as she remembered exactly what things Calden liked to do to her. They had explored each other’s bodies thoroughly by now but he never seemed to get tired of learning her all over again and neither of them could get enough of the other.
The big Kindred especially seemed to love going down on her—he did it multiple times a night with such apparent enjoyment and enthusiasm that Maddy had completely lost all her earlier inhibitions about the act.
How could she feel that her pussy wasn’t pretty enough or that she made too much honey when Calden was constantly remarking on the beauty of her body and saying how good she tasted and how he loved bathing her pussy with his tongue? How could she feel that she was too big or not thin enough when he was always calling her “nieka” which meant “tiny one” and telling her how delicate and perfect she was?
Awakened by the Giant: Brides of the Kindred Page 14