Crow's Stana (Ruthless Renegades Book 1)

by Kat Cameron

  I think this was the longest week she might have ever had. Between her father and Lana it was all a lot to take in. The expression on her face when she took her rage out on Lana was one I didn’t ever want to see on her face again. She had such pure hatred for this girl. The way she was beating the shit out of her and taunting her was like a lion playing with its prey. She specifically asked me to untie her when she got down there. Stana said she wanted a fair fight. So I obliged. It still wasn’t fair regardless. Stana had a shit ton of training on her side. It looked like the only training Lana had was training in makeup application.

  She was knocked out quick from Stana’s final blow. Stana woke her up and cut her hair off. This was making the girl scream even worse than fighting her was. Stana told her, “You are the cause of so much pain in my life. If there was ever a time when I wanted nothing more than to kill someone it would be now. I could do it too and get away with it. But you living in a life knowing that I could be around the corner would be so much better for me. So here is the deal. I am going to let you go. You won’t say anything and if you do, well I will just find you and keep you locked up for the rest of your life. How’s that sound sweetheart? When your parents ask who did this to you, you say you never saw any faces?” The girl whimpered and nodded.

  I didn’t agree to let her go but I also didn’t want Stana to have any more kills under her belt. She had gone through enough. Snake agreed as well which really fucking surprised me and had me thinking he had an idea up his sleeve.

  Everyone was out in the main room still having a good time drinking and dancing the night away. Riley and Malia were talking while holding the babies and they looked like they had everything under control. Grayson, Ryder, and Asher were at the bar and I wanted to talk to them a little bit about staying here. And Malia of course. I would have to make sure they are treating her right even though I am a little late it never hurts to make sure. “What are you three doing over here? The kids scare you away again?” I chuckled. Grayson grumbled at me and took another swig of his beer. Asher pretty much paled all over again and Ryder was the only serious one about it.

  “No, we are fine we just wanted to give the girls time to talk. They were talking about periods and pregnancy. No need for us to hang around.”

  Taking a swig of my own beer I asked, “You four thinking about kids anytime soon?” All three choked on that one.

  “Fucking hell warn a guy before you go and drop something like that on us,” Grayson grumbled.

  “Does it look like we could handle kids any time soon? We are just trying to figure out where we are going to school next. Malia really wants to move here to be with all of you guys and we would do anything to make her happy. So here we are.” Asher told me. I couldn’t really argue with that. I would do anything to make sure Stana was happy too.

  I was thinking about everything when Bullet came to sit next to me. He was looking at me with a funny look, so I asked him about it. He said, “You realize along with Stana you got some crazy bitches in this clubhouse these days? Stana is crazy but Riley I would swear she is straight psycho. Not that I am complaining but fucking hell she is a handful. Their mother is a whole other story too. Would you say it was crazy for me to say I have got some serious feelings for Riley already?” That question surprised me because he was only twenty-three years old. He didn’t even get to live a clubhouse life full of booze and women, but to each their own I guess.

  “I would say you know when you know. I did. Yeah, it was fast as fuck but I think I loved Stana when she pulled Dylan out of his car seat at the hospital. There was just something about her that I couldn’t let go of. No here we are and we have been through hell or high water already. Go for it if that is what you want. But I can tell you right now you better fucking be serious. That girl is gonna need a hell of a lot of help. You fucking with her head won’t help at all.” He sat back like I had just slapped him.

  “The fuck? You really think I am capable of something like that? Have these months been for nothing? I know you don’t know much about me yet but my mother went through some shit and I wouldn’t wish it on anyone. I would never do something like that to a woman. Or to anyone at all for that matter.” He drank the rest of his beer and got up. “Thanks for showing me you do care about her though and I think you are right. She is gonna need me there for her. I will be there, you count on that.” He walked away and right to Riley after that. She rolled her eyes at him and gave him a smirk.

  Chapter Nineteen

  Stana

  I woke up in the bedroom and it was quiet in the clubhouse. I must have really needed that nap because I slept for a long ass time. Going into the bathroom I relieved myself and brushed my teeth. I woke up with the most terrible taste in my mouth. Garrison was still sleeping. He looked so relaxed when he slept. I placed a kiss on his cheek and went to check on the twins. They were both sleeping peacefully as well so I went to lay back in bed. While laying there I was thinking about everything that had happened these past months. All of us had been through so much I couldn’t even believe this was my life. I already had some therapy sessions booked. I knew I needed them even if I really didn’t want to go and talk to someone about my fucking feelings but I could feel something brewing in the back of my head that kind of felt like an impending disaster.

  My appointment was tomorrow well technically today since it was around three in the morning. I was filled with nerves and excitement about our baby. I wanted to hear the heartbeat and see the little bean on the screen. At the same time, I wanted to pretend that I didn’t have anything to worry about.

  As I was laying here, I heard some yelling come out of nowhere. What the fuck was going on at this time in the night that someone was yelling? I got up and wandered down the hall to see who was yelling. The sight in front of me stunned the shit out of me. It was Riley and our mother having a yelling match or more of a whisper-yelling match. I could hear the words ‘Bullet, husband, and done’ being muttered out of Riley’s mouth. I heard Riley cry, “I need to leave. You have no idea what I have been through. I don’t want him to dim his light just for me to shine anymore so just fucking let me go god damn it!” She ripped her arm out of our mom’s grasp and walked out of the front door. I watched my mother crumble to the ground and let out a cry that sounded like a wounded animal. I took one step to go to her when I saw Snake put a hand under her legs and her back to lift her wedding style off the floor.

  He saw me because he shook his head at me which I was guessing he meant to just leave it but how do I leave something like that be? So at three in the damn morning, I found myself at Bullet’s door deciding if I was doing the right thing. If I learned anything from these past months it was that the words and actions of a man that meant everything he said were what saved me from a life full of misery. These men in this club stood by their word even if it meant to their death. I could only hope that Bullet was one of them.

  I knocked on the door and it felt like a lifetime before Bullet answered. When he did his appearance almost knocked me off my feet. He always looked kept together, like nothing could ever bother him. Seeing Bullet was always like seeing my big brother because he was only a year older than me. He could always make anyone laugh no matter how bad their days were. Now seeing him it looked like he went through a war. His brown eyes were tired and there were bags underneath. I didn't know how anyone missed it.

  “Jesus Christ Bullet what the hell happened to you?” He looked like death warmed over. He waved me in and I sat on the bed. Patting the spot next to me I beckoned Bullet to come sit next to me. “What the hell happened with Riley? I thought you two were good?” How good I didn’t know. I was thinking about friends but judging by Riley’s words and the way he looks it is so much more than that.

  “She thinks all of her demons are going to bring down my brightness. Riley has no idea just how much dark is inside me. Her darkness calls to mine and I don’t want to lose her but she is slipping out of my grass like a snake covered in oli
ve oil.” I shudder at the thought of snakes. He sighs and rests his elbows on his knees while running his fingers through his dirty blonde hair.

  “You know the best thing that ever happened to me was Crow chasing me down and dragging me home. I thought I was doing what was best for them too but I had no idea what I would be losing. If I kept up with my own ways I would have lost this family, all of you guys, and this little bean in my belly.” I rubbed my flat belly just to further my point. Bullet’s head popped up at that.

  “You fuckin’ with me right now?” He rasped. With tears in my eyes, I shook my head because I was so excited about this baby and I wanted my sister to be here. So yeah me talking to Bullet about her was kind of for selfish reasons but at the same time, I could see his heart bleeding out onto his sleeve while talking about her. Bullet wrapped me in a hug and whispered his congratulations in my ear.

  “You and Rooster are the only ones who know. You need to bring my sister back for not only me but you too. I told you I could see you patched in and I believe it just like I believe you will be able to bring my sister back to us. Yeah, she might be a fucking psycho now but you know what we are all one huge family and she has the most support from all of us. Plus I think we all have a little psycho in us every now and then.”

  I got up to go thinking that was as good a pep talk as ever and I felt a tug on my hand. “Thank you for everything and for trusting me with your sister. I won’t let you or anyone else down. I will bring her back to us.” He told me with the most determined look in his eyes. I nodded and went back to the room.

  On my way there I wondered what was going on with my mother and Snake too. He picked her up with such tenderness that there had to be something there too. It seemed all three of us found something here in this clubhouse. We should call it the love shack these days instead of Ruthless Renegades. That thought made me chuckle. I would have to bring that up to everyone and see what they all said. Or rather die laughing at their grimaces. I could just see it now.

  Here I was laughing at myself in the hallway and then it hit me that my sister may never come back. She was always a lot more headstrong then I was and I trust Bullet’s word but he doesn’t know my sister. I knew she would run. I didn't know how I knew but I could see it in her eyes right before she turned to leave. There was a flightiness that was there and a straight look of panic. I couldn’t imagine her demons that she had hiding behind her beautiful eyes or that smart brain of hers.

  I found myself cradled in Garrison’s arms in bed. He was holding me so tight I thought he had crushed a rib or two after he let me out. I didn't remember how I ended up here. I remember talking to Bullet about Riley leaving. I also remember Snake picking up my mom but other than that there wasn’t much I could remember. There were dried tears on my cheeks and my eyes felt swollen and puffy. I was sure I looked a damn awful mess. “You okay now babe? I found you out in the hallway crying your eyes out. You were basically hyperventilating and I couldn’t get you to calm down. So I picked you up and brought you back to bed.” Huh. I have heard of women’s crazy hormones while being pregnant. Apparently, mine were starting already. That was just fucking wonderful. I did not need to keep having mental breakdowns every time something awful happened.

  “I am going to take a shower. Considering it is seven am and the babies aren’t up yet I need to take care of this rat’s nest that I call hair. Thank you for taking care of me all night. I love you.” Leaving him with a kiss on the lips, I went into the bathroom and took a very long and hot shower. I felt like a brand new person. It was fucking wonderful. I got dressed and put my hair up since ya know kids and all that. It wasn’t fun having them pull it all the time. I had to slow my roll for a second and play catch up. How did I go from being in the fetal position all night in my mans lap to bouncing around like a big ball of fucking energy? This was making no sense and considering I had my obstetrician appointment today I would be asking lots of questions.

  I was looking forward to today because of multiple things. Number one was the obvious; my appointment for this little bean. Second was because I get to meet some guys that have been on a long trip away from the club doing one of their jobs. Rage, Buzz, and Cash were the guys that were gone this whole time I was here. It would be fun getting to know the new guys. Carol was watching the twins while we went to our appointment and I was so excited that Garrison was coming with me. I figured maybe he had some club stuff to do but Snake gave him the go and said this wasn’t something that should be missed. He also had a really sad fucking look in his eyes while talking about it. Speaking of Snake, I was on my way to his office to see if I could get something out of him on whatever was going on with him and my mother.

  “Daddy Snake open up!” I knocked and waited for him to answer. When he did I was met with a grimace on his face.

  “Knock it off with that shit. You keep it up and I won’t allow you here anymore. I will ground you for a month.” I busted out laughing at the complete seriousness on his face.

  “You can’t ground me. I am Crow’s woman you fool. Plus I am pregnant with his child. He wouldn’t allow that and you know it.” I chuckled trying to catch my breath.

  “You know I am the fucking president here not anyone else.” He said with the manliest pout I had ever seen.

  Now he just had me giggling like a fool. “I can’t breathe!” My belly hurt from laughing so hard.

  “Alright, that is enough woman what the fuck has you coming in here and pestering me?” He grunted but there was the barest of smiles on his face. I straightened up my face and wiped the tears from my eyes.

  “Okay first things first I saw your eyes when you were talking about the pregnancy and I know there is something in your past. I won’t dig but I just want to let you know I am here for you. If you wanna talk or anything. Second, what is going on with you and my mother?” Oh, he didn’t expect that. There was a twitch in his eye that showed he heard me. The scowl on his face told me he didn’t want to talk about it. Oh fucking well. This was my mother that I just got back and I was not under any circumstances losing her again because some fucking biker would break her heart. Even as I thought it, I knew he wouldn’t. Judging by the way he so gently held her last night I wouldn’t doubt he was already halfway in love with her.

  For her age and everything she had been through, she was still beautiful. Her curly blonde hair with some grays coming in around the edges was still pretty and full. Her face had wrinkles by her eyes but she had the glow of a woman in love. I knew as sure as I knew I was pregnant that he wouldn’t do wrong by her but I was determined to make sure he knew just how serious I was about my mother. “If you so much as make her cry Snake your fucking snake will find its way off your body and into a motherfucking blender. Don’t mistake my liking towards you anything that will save you in the end if you hurt her. It won’t. She is my mother and I will never lose her again. I can’t.” Snake looked really confused. I didn’t think he knew how to handle a threat from an almost twenty-year-old woman. At his age, he could have been my dad so there was that. But I was serious. All he did was nod his head in agreement. He was acting really fucking weird just staring off into space so I walked out of his office.

  An hour later Garrison and I were off to the doctor. I didn’t want to tell anyone else about the baby until I knew that we were in the clear. I read about women losing the baby in the first trimester and I didn’t want to jinx anything so Garrison agreed to stay quiet as well. When we got to the doctor I filled out my paperwork and they called me back within five minutes. I had to pee in a cup and then we sat in a room. They asked me all the questions before we finally got to the part I was most excited about. The ultrasound. At the moment there wasn’t much to see because I was only six weeks and four days along. Literally just a bean. I have been wanting to ask the doctor a question so I figured now would be the best time.

  “Doctor Gilbert, how did I end up pregnant? I mean obviously, I know but I was told that I wouldn’t ever be able to hav
e kids.” I was pissed that they were wrong but at the same time if I thought otherwise we wouldn’t be here now so I couldn’t be too mad.

  “Honestly there could be a number of reasons that your doctor told you why you couldn’t have kids. Our bodies change as they get older and your body either could have or your doctor wrongly diagnosed you. Whatever the case you should be considering this your miracle.” They printed us out copies and we were on our way back to the clubhouse. Garrison put his hand on my belly on our way home and I swore right then and there that I would do everything in my power to make this man the happiest man on earth. It was the least I could do for giving me everything I never knew I wanted.

  Epilogue

  Crow

  We got back to the clubhouse and went straight to the kids. Carol was in the middle of bathing them so we relieved her of her duties and got in the tub with them. We both had our clothes on and we were soaked but we didn’t care. This would go down as one of the happiest moments in my life. This woman had come into my life like a damn tornado making landfall in my heart. The way she loves our kids like her own melts me into a million fucking pieces and yeah it may make me sound like a sap but there it was.

  After we got out we dried off and got the kids to sleep. We were working on getting our clothes back on after we took them all off because they were still damp. Her hormones were driving her crazy with lust and she jumped on me. Her body was quite literally trembling with need. So I, of course, gave her what she needed. Now here we were half an hour later walking out of our room to all the ruckus that was in the main room.