“Well, that’s stupid. You made me talk about my feelings with Sophie. What makes you think I’m not going to do the same to you?”
Swiping a hand over his eyes, he wearily replied, “Are you?”
“Of course I am! Hell, I’m practically giddy right now knowing how the tables have turned!”
Great.
“So why are you sitting alone looking at a Christmas tree in the middle of the night when you no doubt have a beautiful woman in your bed?”
“I already told you I couldn’t sleep.”
His brother made a tsk-ing sound. “And there was no other way to exhaust yourself than leaving the warmth of your bed and sitting in the dark looking at a tree? Really?”
There was no way he was going to share just how much he and Emery had exhausted one another already tonight, and how that still wasn’t enough to make him sleep.
“Remember when we were kids and we’d sneak downstairs after Mom and Dad were asleep and play with the train under the tree?”
Christian was quiet for a moment. “Oh yeah. Holy crap, I haven’t thought about that in years. Maybe Sophie and I will get a train for under the tree this year.”
Carter studied his. “Yeah, this tree doesn’t have one either, but maybe I’ll do the same at home.”
“What made you think of that?”
“This whole project was supposed to be low-effort—throw some recipes down, write a couple of sappy blurbs, and be done with it.”
“But…?”
“When I arrived in New York and found Emery at the condo, she began poking at me to put more thought into it, more effort. She made me think about the holidays we spent when we were growing up, and…I don’t know—it wasn’t all bad, right? I mean, not all of our memories of our childhood were bad.”
He heard Christian sigh. “No. No, they weren’t. In fact, there were probably more good times than bad. It was just easier to keep the bad ones front and center when we got older because of the way Dad treated us.” He paused. “But the holidays were always different. He was different.”
This was why he’d called his brother—Carter needed the reminder of how life growing up with his parents hadn’t been so bad.
“I remember him getting things for me at Christmas that I wanted but never mentioned to him or Mom,” Christian was saying. “It was like they overheard my thoughts somehow, and it always amazed me.”
“How do you know it wasn’t Mom?”
“Because it was always stuff he and I could use together and—believe it or not—he was always excited to talk with me about it. Stuff like model cars and airplanes, new ski equipment… It was the things I was too afraid to ask for because I figured they’d think it was frivolous. And yet each year there was always one gift like that.”
Now that Carter thought about it, it was the same with him. Unfortunately, he’d assumed the gifts were all his mother’s doing. “Maybe we should ask her about that when we’re there next weekend.” He paused. “Which, by the way, thank you for being willing to come. I know it seems crazy.”
“It’s not a big deal. Sophie and I were trying to find the time to visit Mom and couldn’t seem to decide, so this was the perfect excuse to go. It will be nice to see everyone again for something fun. I was talking to Megan and she said Summer and Ethan may take the trip too.”
“Really? That would be great. It seems like the only time we all get together anymore is for big events like weddings and funerals. Which sucks. It’s going to be great to have something low-key where we can catch up and relax together.”
“Tell me about it. And I think it will be nice to take work talk off the table,” Christian added.
“That was always Dad’s thing. You know that. Uncle William and Uncle Robert were never the ones to bring up anything work-related.”
“Well, now that there’s no one for Uncle William to play matchmaker to, he might be looking for something to talk about!”
That had them both laughing. “No way. By now he’s got grandkids to brag about and then that’s going to turn all the attention to you and when you’re making Mom a grandmother.”
“Oh no.”
“Oh yeah. And I’ll sit back and take it all in, feeling no pressure at all,” Carter teased. “It’s gonna be awesome.”
“Not so fast, little brother. Now that you’re involved with Emery, I can easily sway the conversation toward you and when you’re going to settle down. How would you like that?” Christian challenged.
“Don’t upset the chef. You wouldn’t want me distracted and ruining dinner, would you?”
Christian burst out laughing. “Leave it to you to find a loophole. Nice.”
“I do what I can.”
“So what are you making? Sticking with the usual traditional menu or are we getting something with the famous Carter Montgomery flair?”
“Actually, this project had me remembering the Christmas menus from when we were little and we used to have a houseful of people. It was more of a buffet than a sit-down affair. I’m making a selection of foods from back then.”
“Oh wow! That’s going to be awesome!”
“We’re planning two big meals—the big dinner on Saturday night, and then a traditional holiday brunch on Sunday before we all leave.”
“Speak for yourself. Sophie and I are leaving on Tuesday, and I think Megan and Alex are doing the same. No doubt Summer and Ethan will leave with them. You’re seriously heading out on Sunday?”
“Um…that was the plan,” he said hesitantly. “I’ve been away from home for a month and need to get back.”
“So what’s another couple of days? C’mon. We never get to hang out and relax. It will be fun.”
In that moment, Carter knew his brother was right. They didn’t get together and visit with one another nearly enough. And really, what was another couple of days in the grand scheme of things?
“You know what? You’re right. I’ll change my flight to Tuesday. What time are you flying out?”
“We’re leaving Mom’s after breakfast on Tuesday—sometime around ten. Our flight out is at one. Same with everyone else. We’re taking a limo to the airport.” While they discussed travel arrangements, Carter went to the kitchen and wrote it all down so he could change his plans in the morning.
Now as he made his way back toward the sofa, he realized he felt good. Relaxed. And more than likely would be able to fall asleep.
“This all sounds good, Chris. Thanks.”
“What about Emery? Is she heading back with you?”
Just thinking about it—about how she wasn’t and they were going to be apart—had him rubbing his chest. He sank back down on the couch. “No. She’s heading home to straighten everything out.” He shared the story about Emery’s ex and—even though he figured his brother must have heard some of this from their mother—Christian listened without interrupting. “I hate that she has to deal with this. She has no idea what’s going to happen when she gets back home—how people will react, if her job will be waiting for her…it’s a damn mess. And the worst part is how her parents are still backing that scumbag.”
“Damn. That’s got to hurt.”
The image of holding Emery in his arms out on the beach earlier came to mind and he had to fight back the wave of anger he had toward her family and her ex for making her feel like she didn’t matter.
Because she did.
And if they were all foolish enough not to realize that—not to be grateful every day for the amazing woman they had in their lives—then they didn’t deserve her.
He was getting wound up and knew if he didn’t cut himself off right now, he was going to be wide awake again. “I wish she was coming with me rather than going home.”
“Have you asked her to go with you?”
“No,” he replied wearily. “I know she has to do this
. She’s tired of hiding out and putting her life on hold. What she has to go back to, though, sucks.” As he said the words, a war was waging within himself. From everything she’d shared with him—which still wasn’t much—no one was on her side. No one was protecting her. And he feared that when she went back home, she was going to get a lot of grief because of her absence. Carter wanted nothing more than to protect her from all of it—to stand up to all those people and demand they apologize to Emery and leave her in peace.
Somehow, he doubted she’d appreciate him going all Neanderthal on her family and friends.
Didn’t stop him from wanting to, though.
“So…this is serious, huh?”
“What is?”
“You and Emery. This isn’t just a way to pass the time. You’re crazy about her.”
It wasn’t a question and Carter didn’t hesitate. “I am.” A nervous laugh followed that simple statement. “In a million years I never saw this coming, but for some insane reason, this works.”
“And how does she feel?”
I wish I knew.
“We haven’t really talked about…you know—”
“Feelings?” Christian finished for him, humor lacing his voice.
“Exactly. In case you haven’t been following along, we’ve had a lot on our plates.”
“Can I offer one piece of advice?”
“No.”
After a snort, his brother’s reply was, “Too bad.”
Sighing dramatically, Carter said, “Go ahead. I’m about ready to crash, so drop whatever pearl of wisdom you’ve got so I can go to bed.” He said it lightly but knew his words could also come off as a little snarky.
“Don’t wait to talk to her,” Christian said, his tone serious and a little somber. “Sophie and I lost a lot of time because I didn’t want to talk about how I was feeling—and not just about her, but about everything I was going through after Dad died.” He paused. “If you really care about her and see this relationship going somewhere, don’t be afraid to talk about how you feel.”
Yeah, this wasn’t news to him, but…
“You know the relationship we’ve always had,” Carter said. “We were opponents, rivals, and at times enemies. We have this snarky banter and sometimes it’s—it’s awkward. Like when one of us is being serious, it’s not always obvious. More than once we’ve offended each other because of the way we react. It’s hard to undo years of snark and animosity, you know?”
“Unfortunately, I don’t. I’ve never been in that situation and I certainly don’t want to make light of it. Just…don’t wait, Carter. This weekend is going to be loud and boisterous and out-and-out crazy. You’ve got a long drive to Mom’s. Use that time to make sure she’s going to be okay and that she knows how you feel and you’ll be there if she needs you.”
Unable to help himself, he yawned. “I don’t want to fight with her in the car.”
“No one said fight, Carter. Talk. I know you can do that.”
“But what if… What if she doesn’t need me?” And man, did that hurt to say out loud.
“I wish I could answer that. I don’t know Emery all that well, but I’d like to think she needs you just as much as you clearly need her.”
It was too much for Carter to wrap his brain around at this hour. When he finally said good night to his brother, he tossed the phone down on the sofa, turned the lights off on the tree, and slowly made his way back to the bedroom. Emery was still sound asleep, sprawled diagonally across the bed.
She was a bed hog.
Chuckling, he walked around to the opposite side of the bed and stripped down before sliding between the sheets. It was slow work, but he managed to maneuver them both so she was spooned against him, her back to his front. His favorite position for them to sleep in. He kissed the top of her head and breathed her in. She was warm and soft and… Yeah, he was crazy about her.
“How did we get here, beautiful girl?” he whispered.
Of course she didn’t respond, but that didn’t stop him from imagining her response.
She’d remind him of all the facts first—she was always logical. Then she’d try to make light of it all and blame it on proximity before lightly putting herself down and questioning his taste in women.
There was nothing wrong with her, and there certainly wasn’t anything wrong with his taste. She didn’t give herself enough credit. Ever. And that more than anything bothered him. She’d always been the most intelligent, the most confident woman he’d known, and to see how this whole situation with her ex had stripped her of that? It filled him with rage. He wanted that confidence back. Wanted her to try to outsmart him and everyone around her just because she could.
Over the last several weeks, he’d created situations specifically to make that happen. If she was aware of it, she didn’t say anything. No doubt she’d be pissed. Still, every time he caught a glimpse of the girl he used to know, it made him smile.
And how twisted was that—arguing with her and being yelled at by her made his day!
This was probably the most dysfunctional relationship he’d ever been in, but it was also the most fulfilling and exciting. He enjoyed the challenge. And more than anything, he enjoyed knowing they were equals in every sense of the word.
He kissed her again as he closed his eyes. Beside him, she hummed softly in her sleep.
“You can argue all you want, but I’m not letting you go,” he whispered. “This is where you belong.”
Chapter 7
“What if I just add—”
“No.”
“But it will add so much flavor! We could just—”
“No!”
Sighing, Carter looked at the ingredients in front of him. Bland meatloaf. Bland mashed potatoes. And—“I’m sorry, did you say you wanted corn with this?”
Beside him, Emery nodded, her smile going from ear to ear. “That’s right. Corn. Not creamed, not grilled, not anything but good ol’ corn with a little bit of butter.” The look she gave him was downright impish. “It’s killing you, isn’t it?”
It wasn’t, but he wasn’t going to admit it. This was the third night of him making comfort food for her. The first night, he’d made fried chicken and mashed potatoes. He was finding that mashed potatoes were a big thing to Emery. If given the opportunity, she’d have them at every meal.
Not on his watch.
Last night, he made spaghetti and meatballs.
And the ways she had thanked him afterwards made him blush just thinking about it.
Neither of those meals had been particularly challenging, but they were extremely satisfying. It had been so long since he’d made something so simple and gotten such pleasure from it.
And not just from Emery.
When he glanced over at her, she was looking at him expectantly. Oh, right…she’d asked him a question.
“I wouldn’t say killing me, but I just have some ideas I wish you’d let me experiment with.”
She sighed loudly, crossing her arms over her chest. “You’re going to ruin this, aren’t you?”
“How can you say that? I haven’t told you what I’m thinking.”
The eye roll was her only response.
“I was thinking of stuffing the meatloaf with bacon and cheddar cheese,” he stated, gauging her reaction.
None.
“The bacon would be cooked first and be extra crispy—just the way you like it.”
She blinked. Her expression could only be described as bored.
“I could do a barbecue sauce glaze. It would be like a barbecue bacon cheeseburger and—”
“Say what, now?” she asked, leaning in a little closer—almost as if she were suddenly very interested in what he had to say.
The way to this girl’s heart was definitely through her stomach.
Leaning on th
e granite counter top, he gave her his most charming smile. “That’s right. I can make your beloved meatloaf taste like your favorite barbecue bacon cheeseburger. That is…if you’ll let me.”
Her beautiful eyes narrowed. “You’re not going to put anything weird in there, are you? Just the bacon and cheese, right?”
“Define weird,” he challenged. “Because even a basic meatloaf requires some seasonings. I don’t want you freaking out when you see me adding garlic or onion to the mix.”
“I’m aware of the use of seasonings, Carter. I’m not completely clueless when it comes to cooking.”
He shrugged. “I wouldn’t know, considering you’ve yet to cook anything other than frozen pizza and microwave popcorn.”
Watching her expression turn fierce was practically a turn-on at this point. There was something a little twisted about how much pleasure he got out of making her mad and then making love to her, but not twisted enough to make him stop.
“Bastard,” she snapped before storming around the island and launching herself into his arms. The kiss was brutal and full of raw need and emotion. Her legs wrapped around his waist as his hands gripped her ass.
They’d done this enough times where it shouldn’t be this exciting—this frantic. And yet it still was. Hell, every time she was near him, he felt like this. He kissed her like he couldn’t get enough and she clung to him like she wanted to crawl inside of him.
Dishes crashed to the floor, but it barely registered. Placing Emery on the countertop, he rained kisses across her cheek as his hands snaked under her shirt and whipped it over her head. She bit his shoulder, and he bit her back, both of them laughing in between the madness because this was them and it was fun.
Sex with Emery was fun.
It was crazy and wild and sometimes completely out of control, but it was always fun because they took the time to be playful with one another.
Kicking aside a baking dish that was now broken in half, he said, “There goes dinner. And I was really looking forward to that meatloaf.”
“You can think about food right now?”
Pulling back, Carter laughed heartily. “You can’t? Oh my God, did we finally find the one thing that keeps you from thinking about food?” He feigned surprise, placing his hand over his heart. “I never thought I’d live to see the day!”
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