Even at four o’clock in the afternoon, the sun still blazed hot enough to attract sunbathers. Robbie had two more hours on patrol. Longer, probably; people would stay in the water til dark. And his dad wouldn't leave anyone without letting them know they’d be out there without assistance. At least his mum would be up at the club house in an hour to set up the Christmas leftovers BBQ.
Robbie slitted his eyes open just enough to look across at Drew. He was absorbed in the book, clearly not concerned they weren't talking. He was so freaking gorgeous, a single dark lock of hair curling on his neck, begging Robbie to tug at it. The waves crashing on the shore, the shrieks of kids filling their sandcastle buckets and the seagulls screeching as they hovered like vultures over the crowded beach combined in a familiar lullaby as Robbie drifted back into his doze.
Once again, Drew passing between him and the sun interrupted Robbie’s hazy dream state. He slung his arm over his brows to shade his eyes. Drew stood over him looking uncomfortable, his book, phone, and the folded-up tent in one hand, his red and white striped towel over his shoulder. “Okay. Well, see ya,” Drew blurted, as Robbie shuffled around and rolled to get out of the low-lying chair.
Embarrassed by his uncoordinated fumbling, Robbie slapped his hands on his thighs to get rid of the sand before looking at Drew. “Yeah, I’d really like that.”
Their gazes met in a stare that neither seemed inclined to look away from. It felt intense for a few seconds before they both laughed. Everything relaxed, everything good, friendly, different from the last, tense couple of hours they'd spent not quite together. Robbie watched as Drew picked his way over the sand dunes and across the road to the caravan park entrance.
Chapter 4 – Drew
26th December - Boxing day
“Pancakes?” Drew’s mum asked as she swanned down the caravan steps in a revealing white floral cozzie. There was no way the tiny thing wouldn’t end up completely see through if his mum ever deigned to go in the water. He wished he’d never pictured that, ever.
She’d draped herself in a floaty kimono-style beach wrap. Drew thought she should just exchange her sparkling pink Havaiana thongs for feather adorned high heel slippers and the pancake mix for a bottle of champagne. Then she’d be the perfect embodiment of a spoiled housewife.
He smiled, it was hard not to. Even nagging and being unreasonable about letting him stay with friends in Sydney instead of coming to the van, she only wanted them to be together for Christmas. Drew couldn't stay mad at her for wanting family time.
“Ugh sweetheart, can you go ask your father to clean the BBQ? I’m not making pancakes on this, it’s disgusting.” Drew reluctantly put down his copy of Hamlet and extracted himself from the hammock. He wasn’t particularly interested in Shakespeare. If he’d been in charge of the prescribed texts for his year 12 exams, he’d have chosen almost anything else, but he needed to get his head around the play’s basic concepts by the end of the holiday. Maybe it was for the best that Isaac hadn’t come on holidays, although his chance beach meeting with Robbie Adams gave Drew a tiny anticipatory flutter that didn't bode well for the play.
Drew crossed the small garden into the cool darkness of the caravan annexe. His dad snored loudly— he wasn’t getting up to clean the BBQ. Instead of trying to wake him, Drew grabbed the BBQ maintenance box from the kitchen and filled the bucket with hot water. He’d have to clean the damn thing himself if he wanted breakfast.
Robbie’s voice only registered as Drew fell down the last step of the caravan and spilled soapy water all over the garden and himself. He lay very still for a few seconds, shock and embarrassment freezing him in place. Drew stared at his fingers clutching at the grass. Could someone die of mortification? Trying to shake off the uncomfortable feelings, he stood up, and pretended wet, uncomfortable streaks of soapy muddy water weren’t sliding down his legs.
His mother looked unsympathetically amused. Robbie looked horrified. Drew looked away.
“Dad not interested in getting up?” asked Drew’s mum.
He glanced back at her, raising his eyebrows in a silent question. Why the hell was Robbie there? “No,” Drew answered shortly. He wanted to swear after falling over like an idiot. But he also didn’t want to look like he cared what Robbie thought. The whole freezing on the ground thing had already ruined any chance of that.
“Huh.” Drew’s mum tilted her head. She shook her huge mane of hair, rattled the pile of tiny jangly bangles she always wore, and grabbed Robbie’s upper arm, “Come on sweetheart, you sit down with Andy.”
Drew closed his eyes with mortification at his baby nickname, but opened them almost immediately: Robbie would realise how embarrassed he was. “I’ll get you boys some juice. I think I'll leave the pancakes. How about toast?” Robbie murmured something unintelligible that Drew’s mum must have assumed was assent. She didn't even wait for Drew to respond, just went back into the van to put together whatever she thought a suitable breakfast for growing boys.
Robbie sat down like he belonged at the fold out table and chairs that Drew usually avoided due to their instability. He wore a confident expression, like Drew should expect him in the familiar caravan park garden at 8am on Boxing Day. Drew picked his way around the spilled BBQ tools and sat across from Robbie. He could pretend everything was normal.
“What are you reading?”
“What are you doing here?” They spoke at the same time. Drew glanced over to the hammock and the book Robbie indicated with a nod of his head. “Hamlet,” Drew answered, before repeating, “What are you doing here?”
“Um,” Robbie looked lost for a few seconds before smiling a cheeky big grin, “Looks like I’m having breakfast with your mum?”
Drew smirked at the ridiculousness of Robbie’s answer. “Uh huh? And how’s that going for you?” he asked, making the question sound as dirty as Robbie’s answer had. Robbie blushed, and Drew smiled wider. So much for Robbie’s teasing. He couldn't even brazen out a lame mum joke.
“What are you really doing here?”
Robbie looked away, seemingly even more embarrassed. “I dunno, I thought you might want to hang out at the beach today or go hiking, or something.”
Had he missed something? The invitation came out of the blue. “Um, thanks. I guess. I was going to read Hamlet and try and get some of my other readings for school done.”
“Oh,” said Robbie. They sat there, kind of looking at each other, kind of not. Drew leaned on the table, struggling not to fidget at the awkward silence.
“Ok, there’s juice, coffee, I made some toast and there's cereal and milk,” said Drew’s mum as she reappeared. “Andy darling, would you come and get some of this and bring it out, there’s some leftover Christmas ham from yesterday there too. I’ll have breakfast with you boys.” Drew was mildly horrified but not surprised as once again his mother gently flirted with Robbie.
He should have been used to it. She’d been flirting with every male she met regardless of age ever since he could remember. Robbie’s fabulous smile bloomed on his face and an irrational and ridiculous surge of jealousy took Drew by surprise.
Drew returned from the caravan kitchen to find his mother fluttering her eyelashes and Robbie laughing with her. He may have dumped the butter, ham, vegemite and milk a little more forcefully onto the table than necessary. She wasn't serious but it was embarrassing, like really embarrassing. And honestly, he embarrassed himself enough without any help from his mum.
“Darling,” his mother cooed at him. “Robbie’s family is going to the bowling club for dinner tonight. Did you know there’s a trivia night on? We should go. Your father will be useless but he’ll buy enough raffle tickets on the door prizes that we’ll come home with a decent wine.” Drew rolled his eyes but carefully didn't let his mum see. She was ridiculous, but he loved her and she wasn’t going to change.
“What do you think Robbie darling, maybe we could join your family?”
Robbie smiled and nodded.
“Su
re, I bet my parents would be stoked to have you guys on the team.”
Drew knew he pouted. He didn’t want to go to stupid trivia, he didn’t want to be here at the stupid beach, he didn’t want to look at stupid Robbie Adams’ mouth while he ate his breakfast, except it wasn’t stupid. Robbie’s mouth was something, something the opposite of stupid.
“So,” began Robbie, around a mouthful of toast with loads of butter, mustard and ham, “Do you wanna ditch the books and come hang out with me today?”
Drew was tempted, not because of Robbie, definitely not because of Robbie. He’d just rather be doing something other than school work, but Drew had priorities, he had things that needed to be done before the holiday ended.
“Nah, thanks though.” Drew almost changed his mind when Robbie’s whole body drooped and that beautiful mouth dipped into a disappointed frown. “I’ll come to trivia with you though. If you want,” he added quickly, hoping that that would chase away Robbie’s pout. Robbie flashed him a bright smile. How did a person who he had only spoken to twice in three years have such a visceral effect on him?
“Yeah, that would be good,” Robbie said as he extracted himself from the unwieldy picnic table. “See you later.” He turned briefly to Drew’s mum and waved. “Thanks Mrs. McConnell. I’ll tell mum and dad you’ll be at the club tonight.” Robbie strode out of the tiny garden, glancing over his shoulder just as he stepped out of sight, sending a cheeky grin at Drew just before he disappeared around the corner.
Drew chewed slowly on the toast he had doctored with too much butter and not enough vegemite.
“Hmmm.” His mother’s musing dragged Drew’s attention back from Robbie. “So, Robbie Adams huh?”
Drew flushed. “I’ve got no idea what you’re talking about, Mum.” He huffed and stood up.
“Okay, baby. Pick up the BBQ stuff before you do whatever you’re doing today that’s more important than hanging out with Robbie Adams. Your dad will strangle you if he treads on one of those sets of tongs in bare feet.”
Drew chose to ignore her implication about him and Robbie as he sorted out the BBQ stuff. He shoved his book in his pocket and headed to the park to read.
Chapter 5 – Robbie
26th December - Boxing day
Robbie squeezed himself into the spare chair between Drew and his mother. His mates had their own trivia table, but Drew wasn't there. Besides, he’d walked past earlier to hear Vick ranting about something “so gay,” and Robbie didn’t want to deal tonight.
Mrs McConnell was fun and flirty and ridiculous. He loved the way she behaved the same with the old guys at the bar and the five-year olds playing between the tables. She was vivacious and loud and beautiful in a confident, bountiful, blonde kind of way: the opposite of Drew in looks and personality. Robbie was very attracted, in different ways, to them both. An embarrassed, almost sullen expression generally dominated Drew’s expression. His pink lips and blue eyes were striking on his pale face, but his height and dark unruly curls gave him a feeling of solidity that belied his thin build. Robbie wondered what he looked like without a shirt on.
“So, Robbie, I’ve signed you up for water safety on the Whitehaven Classic Ocean swim next week,” Robbie’s dad said, lobbing that bomb across the table. Robbie winced. He wished his dad would ask before volunteering him for things. Or at least let him know in advance that he was thinking about it. He hated doing water safety, and he’d hoped that he could convince Drew to compete in the swim with him, even if it was just in the fun 500, the kids’ race.
“Really, Dad?” He tried not to feel exasperated, or at least not to show it.
“Yep, we didn't have enough volunteers this year, so I’m voluntelling you; you’re doing it.” He laughed at the new word he’d been noticeably trying out over the last few weeks. Robbie sighed. He’d be doing it, he’d known he would be. He’d just hoped to get out of it for once.
Robbie pressed his leg against Drew’s, wanting to touch him, but not sure if he’d freak out or show interest. Drew flinched, but then almost immediately relaxed and let his leg lean against Robbie’s. Robbie smiled. Despite the job his father had just dropped on him, he was happy at the gentle pressure and promise of Drew’s thigh pressing into his. He fiddled with the buzzer that would go off when the food was ready.
“Adds-y,” boomed Drew’s dad to Robbie’s, the familiar nickname one that both Robbie and his father shared when they were with friends. Drew moved slightly and Robbie watched him slump a little in the chair, close his eyes and sigh deeply. He could commiserate. Dads. Were. Challenging.
“Did you say you needed more water safety? Drew has his Bronze Medallion, he could do it. He needs some volunteer hours for his Duke of Edinburgh award.” Robbie felt rather than heard the swearing that Drew did under his breath at his father’s words.
“Dad, I have stuff lined up. I don’t really have time.”
“Nonsense. It’s the bloody holidays, of course you have time,” said Drew’s dad, all gruffness and bluster. The man turned to Robbie’s dad, his moustache bristling like an enormous excited walrus. Robbie tried not to laugh at the image.
“Adds-y, what do you need? I can get his certification forwarded if you need it.” Drew slumped even more. He seemed just as enthusiastic about the volunteer water safety as Robbie.
Although he commiserated, Robbie couldn't help but enjoy the tiny fizz of anticipation at having Drew with him for a whole day. Robbie shoved both hands under the table and into his lap, before tentatively, secretly stretching his hand across his thigh to stroke Drew’s leg. Drew tensed. Robbie leant forward and whispered, “It’ll be fun. We can do it together.” He pulled back and put his hands back on the table. But not before he registered the shiver running through Drew.
Robbie’s Dad pulled his attention back to the conversation around the table. “You boys will have a great time,” he laughed, and then went on to talk about the price of real estate in the Greater Whitehaven Bay area.
***
The glow of the Whitehaven Lawn Bowls Club reflecting on the water gave off just enough light for Robbie to make his way across the beach in the direction he’d seen Drew go earlier. He carried the beer he’d nicked from the half-price-trivia-night-beer-bucket-special carefully as he navigated the black rocks at the end of the beach. He almost missed Drew hunkered down on one of the bigger boulders looming over the dark water. Only the flash of his phone's blue light on his face gave him away. Robbie clambered up around the back of the boulder where there was an easy climb up. It was a good spot to jump into the lake in the daytime.
“Hey,” Robbie said when Drew looked up. He’d pulled himself up over the side of the rock, managing not to spill his beer.
“Hey. What are you doing up here?” Drew asked. Robbie waved his beer bottle towards Drew. Drew’s phone light dimmed but not before Robbie saw Drew’s eyebrows raise in question. “You could have drunk that back at the club. There’s no way anyone cares if we’re drinking tonight.”
“Yeah, you maybe,” replied Robbie, “but not the locals. They’re only relaxed about the caravan kids. They have plausible deniability with you guys.” The bar staff were way more relaxed about checking ID and age when it came to the holiday makers, but given that everyone working knew that Robbie turned (what, seventeen?) in less than a week, nobody would fuss about him drinking a light beer.
They sat together silently on the rock. Robbie passed the beer to Drew. Drew took the beer and sipped, cicadas chirping in the background and tiny waves on the lake lapping below. Distant sounds of the holiday makers and locals spread out on the lawn at the back of the bowling club, drinking and eating and celebrating summer, drifted across the water in occasional bursts.
Drew handed the beer back to Robbie, pulled his hoodie up and leaned forward, resting his elbows on his bent knees. “How’d you know you’re gay?” he asked abruptly. Robbie’s whole body clenched and he squeezed the bottle of beer hard between his hands, the instant defensiveness an inst
inctive reaction to his friend's usual taunts.
“How do you know you’re not?”
Drew turned his head to the side, still draped over his long, folded legs, but now looking right at Robbie, although Robbie doubted he could see much in the dark. “I never said I wasn't.” Drew said. “Although it was more a question for you than some philosophical existential enquiry.”
“Oh.” The defensive tension drained out of Robbie, replaced by an awkward embarrassment at his assumption Drew was having a go at him. Drew still watched him, so he turned his head away quickly and stared into the dark lake.
“So?” asked Drew.
“So what?”
“So how do you know?” Duh. Robbie looked back at Drew. Luckily it was dark and Drew couldn't see his face. He didn't know what to say. Instead, he peeled at the label on the beer and took a long sip. There wasn’t much left; he should have brought two.
“Um, I guess, because, you know.” Robbie’s brain misfired. Had he spoken anything other than random words? “I guess because it’s more fun, you know? To, you know, with guys.” He tilted the beer bottle back and swallowed the last of it.
“Oh.”
“Yeah.”
Robbie scratched at his leg where something had bitten him, probably a mosquito. He should go back to the Club. Embarrassed, he pulled his hood over his head, curling his arms around his crossed legs, holding his beer bottle in one hand and squeezing his thighs to his chest with the other. He pressed his forehead to his knees and started counting. If he got to ten and Drew hadn’t said anything, he’d leave. One… two… three… four
“Have you been with lots of girls?”
Robbie almost didn’t understand the question, too focused on his counting and working out how to leave without looking even more awkward.
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