To the Paris of our dreams

by Tomas Goncalves

  - Soo, can you believe my aunt actually called me three times already since we got here? And all the texts too...

  Eric smiled

  - It's ok. She was awesome for letting you come here like this. And she became my idol when she actually decided to come along. That was so cool of her. Almost anyone...actually she's the first person I know that has that kind of reaction “Oh, you're going to London? Give me five minutes to pack and I'll go with you guys” That was amazing – They laughed

  - I know right. I absolutely love her. She's the coolest person ever. Completely different from my paren-... - She was cut off by someone yelling at Eric:

  - Ei! Eric...

  - Hey man, what's up?

  - What are we gonna do about the hotel?

  - I don't know. I think we have enough space to everyone, don't worry. We reserved like four or five huge rooms, if I'm not mistaken...

  - Sweet...It's just cuz I was thinking, you know.... - He left the rest unsaid, because it was obvious.

  - That's up to you, man – Liam smiled

  - Anyways guys, we’ll settle this at the hotel, I'm sure they will have a spare room if anything... - Lucy got into the matter.

  - Ah, so you guys decided to join us?

  - Sure, or you really want us to believe that you guys are going to sleep tonight?

  Eric smiled. Internal joke. If he had any luck, five or six hours of sleep. That was the essence.

  - Hey mate bring us another round here and then the check please.

  The waiter nodded and as soon as they drank what they had to drink and paid the bill, they had to call five cabs in a row to go to the hotel.

  Marie, visibly tired, went to a room with Sophie, Cécile and a girlfriend of Lucy: they would rest for a while. The rest of them were together in another room, and it was obvious that they needed more mattresses. Even more obvious the fact that the staff didn't like to see the mess that was being created and the extra work that they were being requested to do. But after talking to the manager, and after some very generous tips got distributed, they left the room almost happy. They kept drinking, watching TV, smoking shisha, cigarettes, some started to light some joints and... Just being very loud. In the girl’s room, a couple of them ended up taking a nap

  Eventually they were starting to get ready for the party: some people took showers, others slept for a bit or ate some more. Lucy and some of her friends actually left before everybody else. After all, it was her birthday party that had started a while ago. The rest of them stayed for an extra hour in the hotel and then they soon left to go to the party all at once.

  The party was at this big club downtown London and they actually had a couple of private tables reserved for Lucy's birthday, with tons of food and more drinks. It was one of those electronic music houses, with blue lights and lasers, and crazy people on acid, cocaine and everything else you can imagine. They were having so much fun at their tables, because in the rest of the club they were having to scream to try to understand each other because of the loud music. After a while chatting, they all just decided to go downstairs to dance among everyone and then the night was divided into moments they were completely lost from each other, so people could go “hunt” some “company” or times that they were again around their friends.

  Marie and Eric didn't talk much, they just went along with everyone else, dancing (jumping, mostly) and making out. When anyone would get tired of the loud music, they would go back upstairs, to talk to people (and there was a lot of very interesting people there, and a lot of pretentious pricks too) to eat and drink until they would, once again, go back downstairs to dance and jump around.

  That happened several times during the night.

  At some point, Lucy went onstage to talk to the DJ (she 'naturally' knew him) and the DJ ended up asking for people to scream loud for the birthday girl, as she chose one song to be put on. It was so much fun. Marie was having so much fun: Not because of the place, or the music, but because of the people. Mostly because of Eric.

  Sophie was not sharing that excitement though: She was sitting at one of the tables upstairs, barely talking to other people, mostly on her phone. Her bad mood had almost infected Fernando and Cecile, who were having a blast until then, had Eric not pushed Fernando at a girl, who just started kissing him, and so he was in heaven – He had probably never made out with such a hot girl before - and made sure Cecile was having a good time, having shots with her and Marie and anyone they knew who was around them at that time. Eric wanted to make sure Marie had a good time. And she did: dancing, drinking, laughing, moving around, meeting new people, singing. She had a blast.

  When they left the party, hours and hours later, they could barely speak. Sophie had long gone back to the hotel by herself because she was “tired”.

  Marie fell asleep on Eric's arms during the cab ride. She practically passed out in the bed once they got back to the room.

  Surprisingly, Eric felt somewhat happy because of that.

  Marie woke up the next morning really early and Eric was once again gone from his side of the bed. While she was getting out of bed, the world seemed to be the quietest she had ever seen. She actually tried to fall asleep again, because she was exhausted and she didn't know what to do, but then she realized she was completely awake at that point. She went to check the big room, and there was some people awake, sitting around the table, eating.

  She said hi to them, but she didn't see Eric there.

  - I didn't see him, Marie...

  - Oh, that's ok...

  - Sit here with us, soon enough he'll come around.

  Marie sat in the mattress on the floor beside Lucy.

  They were telling stories about San Francisco, and Eric name was mentioned in a couple of unreal stories.

  - … But you know what? I think he really likes you. So that's all that matters, right? - Lucy finally said to Marie

  - Why do you say that?

  - Well, I've never saw Eric Meirelles take a girl from one city to another. It's actually ironic, symbolic, I'd say. Usually he leaves them behind. Not that he cares, I guess.... Now, Mike is the opposite, he is kind of a super romantic guy, he always try to make it work when he falls in love with someone... which is quite often, and actually never worked out well... But … I don't know. Eric never actually gets together with people, right?

  - Hmm I see...Well, at least he has you guys. You really seem to care about him.

  - Of course. He's a good friend, and he has a good heart, even if he doesn't like to show it. And I guess we do owe him a lot... I do at least. Well, but that's not the point – Lucy smiled – Sorry, I'm really tired, my brain is really slow now... But you also seem to like him, am I wrong?

  Marie honestly didn't know how to answer that.

  - Yeah, I do. He is an amazing guy and the best company ever.

  Lucy seemed to analyze Marie for several seconds after she answer that, but she kept her conclusions to herself.

  Then the talk went to another subject and during ten minutes, Marie actually felt like belonging to that group, even participating in the conversation, especially when they started talking about how they've met each other, how they've met Eric, Tom, Katherine and a couple of other people that apparently they had in common in life

  At one point, Marie got the sudden feeling that she should go look for Eric. And it came very strong, almost as a mother's intuition.

  - Where do you
think I should look for him? - She asked the group

  - Who knows...knowing him, he could be anywhere in London at this time. Or probably at the bar, if the hotel has one. - Lucy smiled

  - Ok, I'll go look around.

  - Good luck. Hey Marie, if you have the chance, make him sleep, ok? - Lucy

  Marie just nodded and didn't say a word.

  She left the room and, surprisingly, soon after she found him in front of the hotel, looking at the street. He was very nostalgic, once again, with a facial expression as he was having a headache. Hanging against the wall, he actually gave her a weak and quick smile when he saw Marie sat by his side.

  - Hey, couldn't sleep? - He asked

  - No, I slept for a good while.... You?

  - ... Not that much

  - Aren't you tired?

  He shrugged his shoulders.

  - I can't sleep

  - Hmm...How long have you been up here?

  - Half an hour, I guess

  They went silent. Marie thought it was really weird the fact that she probably had woken up five minutes after he had left the room. She put her head against his shoulder and that made him do the same to her. After a couple of seconds, he broke the silence.

  - …. Uau, you smell good

  - Thank you – She smiled

  Again, silence.

  - ...Hey, why are you here? Aren't you tired? - Eric asked

  - I... I felt like coming to check on you

  - Hmm....Why? - He felt really childish asking that. But she wasn't acting as they were supposed to, right? Besides, Eric was not used to people genuinely concerned about him. You know, normal human beings.

  - Just cuz...

  Eric looked into her eyes, with a disorientated expression and then just looked away.

  - You're a nice guy, Eric. You shouldn't be afraid of people liking you, you know...

  He went dead silent for a while, almost as he'd got angry by hearing the word “afraid” or “nice guy”. Probably both. When he finally was able to just ignore the comment, and change subject, they kept talking for more ten minutes.

  At some point, he again changed the subject very drastically, asking:

  - … Do you know how many years ago we left the States, without a very long break from this?

  - ?

  - Like three years now... Do you know how many years ago I left home? I mean...Brazil?

  - ? – Marie didn't even know Eric, as Tom, was Brazilian, to start with.

  - Almost six years ago. I barely remember my sibling's face... They were just kids when I left, and I honestly couldn't stand them...I … I hated them.

  Silence. She didn't know what to say.

  - Do you miss home?

  - I don't know... I never felt home anywhere. I always felt like I was just going by anyways...

  They didn't say anything for several seconds, maybe a minute or two.

  He again went silent for several seconds

  – You know what's worse?

  She raised her shoulders slowly and shook her head.

  - How their lives seem to be so fucking perfect today. They are so happy, and together, in a way that...I'll never, ever be part of that... When I lived with them, we were always ignoring each other, or it would be fight after fight. It was fucking unbearable. A fucking nightmare.

  Marie was caressing his head with her hand, touching his hair. He was not himself. It was probably the lack of sleep. It seemed like he was a bit disoriented. Hallucinating even.

  - You know what's funny?

  - Don't make me so many rhetorical questions in the same day – She smiled.

  - Sorry – He smiled. He looked beyond tired.

  - Go on...

  - I never thought about it. And I don't even know why I'm telling you this, because I wasn't even thinking about that before you got here... I guess... I guess I'm really tired, I’m sorry.

  - It's ok, don't worry about it... What were you thinking about?

  - … Things... - He suddenly got cold and looked away.

  After some instants, she made him look at her, and this times their eyes seemed to have spiritually bonded.

  - Do you wanna go back to bed? You could use some sleep. I can see dark circles under your … your soul.

  Eric smiled

  - Uau, I knew French girls were pretty forward and all, but uau...

  - Ha-ha. Funny...Sure. Let's go... - She was smiling.

  They hold their hands and went to the room. They took a nice long shower together which made Eric relaxed enough to sleep a couple more hours with her.

 

  At some point in the morning, people started to gather at the hotel restaurant to enjoy this huge breakfast they had available. Some of them were looking completely exhausted, with deep dark circles under their eyes, or acting as if their brains were ninety-nine percent slower, while some others were looking good as ever. Eric and Marie, especially, were looking very well. They asked to the receptionist to call and wake up everyone from their group, so at some point everyone gathered at the breakfast table. They were almost twenty five people, because some people had come for the after party and some others were a one night stand for someone from the group. Didn’t matter, they finished the breakfast in a very happy mood, and then some people left and some decided to stay with them for the day.

  They would visit the London Eye and the parliament, because there were some Lucy's friend who were in London for the very first time. Then they had lunch in a Japanese restaurant and they ate until they could barely walk. After that, Lucy and her friends took them to several very cool stores, where Marie would even buy a colorful piercing to substitute the black one she had. The nice thing too is that one of Lucy's friend had become the official photographer and was taking hundreds of pictures since they've arrived in London.

  The group was already pretty well connected at this point, everyone basically talking to everyone, with some couples making out from time to time. The conversations were always pretty chill, nothing heavy or too philosophical: most of what they were talking was undeniably bullshit, but hey, they just wanted to have some fun. During the afternoon, they sort of had a picnic under a very big tree in a park, and Eric and Marie went back to have more serious conversations: There he learned about her siblings, a bit about her parents, her aunt, her friends, her dreams, her friendship with Tom, and how herself was a musician – but a classical one, her favorite instrument being the piano, although apparently she did know how to play the guitar too and even sing.

  Eric was getting more and more surprised with that girl.

  People were getting quieter, talking more to one or two people at a time, in smaller groups. Eventually some of them started to lay down on the grass, and it wasn't much later that everyone was laying down with their head on so
meone else. Just like that, they stayed there for a couple of hours, enjoying the nice weather and the sunny day they had been blessed with in London, the land of the rain.

  And let me tell you: In life sometimes there's some moments that are really enlighten, where there's so much beauty and peace, that unexplainably you know that that moment will last forever. Where everything is being so blessed with light and plenitude that time seems to slow down so you can enjoy it better. Where you don't feel pain anymore, and you know you're in the right place, in the right time, with the right people. Where the past is... not hunting you...

  They got lazy enjoying the moment, trying to keep that peace in their memories, because even unconsciously everyone wants something to hold on to in the hard times. After all, in a few hours they would be completely separated with half of them heading back to Paris, Berlin, Liverpool, Chicago or wherever each one came from. So they really needed the time to slow down.

  Lucy, two of her friends and Liam started to smoke right in front of everyone at some point, and the unpleasant smell would have bothered everyone if Mike and Jack didn't have screamed at them so they would go smoke somewhere else. It's probably not very easy to be a smoker sometimes.

  After that much food and shopping, walking around, talking, and the lack of sleep most of them suffered the night before, that moment (that for most of them became a nap) was more than perfect.

  Eric was holding Marie, and eventually he looked at Mike, suddenly feeling something very strong for him. A huge gratitude. Happy for having him there. Mike was probably exhausted, as he was napping on Lucy's lap.

  After one hour and a half in that refuge from the rest of the world, they started to wake up and get bored. Eventually realizing it was time to go to the hotel. They started heading back, very slowly, gathering all their belongings, getting ready to leave.

  Almost all of them went to the train station together, to take Marie and her friends so they could go back to Paris, and a couple of people who were also taking trains to other places. It was not very fun nor easy.