Now that her head was no longer in a bubble of denial, she moved forward with her life. A new client had proven to be a nice distraction. After closing on his home, they’d gone out a few times. Nothing serious, but he'd chased away the loneliness that clung for weeks after Max’s abandonment.
“Tamara, you look great,” Beth said, hugging her.
Tamara smiled. Who knew that pining over a man would make those stubborn pounds finally disappear? Heart-sickness: a fast way to lose weight.
“Thanks. Is my order ready? I’ve got to get back to the house.” She looked at the counter and saw several packed boxes.
“Yeah, give me a minute to pull it all together.” Beth walked around the counter, and put the boxes into the bags.
Tamara looked at Gayle and frowned. “Why couldn’t you pick these up for me, I need to get dressed.”
“I don’t come here without you for any reason, you know that, and you know why,” Gayle said.
Tamara didn’t bother responding. Neither Gayle nor Charlene approved of the way she'd handled her past relationship with Max. But she’d never chased a man and refused to start at this stage in life. If he didn’t appreciate her for who she was, fuck him. At first they didn’t believe she’d walk away, and then they didn’t believe he’d let her walk. But after all this time, they'd eased up on the get back together talk, which she appreciated.
“Here you go,” Beth said bringing several bags forward. “Who’s Pete?”
“Huh?” Tamara asked, while pulling a few large bills from her wallet.
“The name on the cake says Pete.”
Tamara’s face warmed, which pissed her off. “A good friend.”
Beth looked at her for a moment and smiled. “Good for you, sweetie. You deserve to be happy.” She took the money and walked to the back.
“Grab the bags so we can go. What time is the musician getting there?” Tamara asked Gayle.
“In another hour. Everything should be set in plenty of time, stop worrying. It’ll be nice.” Gayle grabbed the bags and headed toward the door. Tamara glanced behind, wondering why Charlene hadn’t come out to speak.
Beth waved with Tamara’s change in her hand.
“Keep it. Tell Charlene I said hi.”
Beth nodded and stuffed the money into her pocket as she walked to another table. Tamara headed to her car, clicked the remote to open the trunk, and placed the food inside. Thank goodness for Charlene’s cooking, her guest would get a good meal, have a few drinks and hopefully a good time. Pete had been hinting at taking their relationship to the next level. So far they’d exchanged a few kisses and some major groping. Smiling, she did like the shape of his ass, and his dick felt long and hard. Not as hard as . . . She stopped the thought and slammed the trunk.
“Tamara?”
She spun around and saw Max and his son walking across the parking lot. Her heart raced as she drank in the sight of him. Scared she might do something weird or crazy like grab and kiss him, she looked around for Gayle. The wily woman stood in the door of the restaurant and walked inside. Had they set her up? She shook her head in amazement, she hadn’t seen it coming.
Straightening, she faced him with a smile. “Max.” She looked at the cute young man holding his hand. “Hello.”
Kevin smiled and waved.
Max walked up to her and placed a kiss on her cheek. Her skin sizzled beneath the slight pressure of his lips. “You look great.” His eyes darkened as they roamed with familiarity across her body. She crossed her arms to hide her pointed nipples and, stared at his son.
“Thanks.”
“This is Kevin,” Max said to fill the silence.
“Nice to meet you Kevin. How old are you?” she asked, extending her hand while looking him over. Gone was the small boy who’d almost died a few months ago. Kevin had gained weight and looked healthy. Max had done a good job, had made the right choice. So had she.
He shook her hand and then dropped it. “I’m five. How old are you?”
She smiled. “Older than five. I’ll need to count again.”
He grinned and she saw Max as he must’ve looked as a young boy. She met Max’s heated gaze and clenched her fist against her body’s response.
“It’s nice meeting you, Kevin.” Her gaze slid down as she turned away. “Good seeing you again, Max.”
“You’re leaving?”
“Yes, I have some things to do.” Gayle would say she ran and there may be some truth to that. But she didn’t care. This man proved dangerous to her emotional health and needed to be avoided with a passion.
“A date?” His voice dropped low and did weird things to her belly.
She opened the car door, looked over her shoulder and nodded. “Yes.”
* * * *
Five hours later, Tamara, dressed in a form fitting corset and long flowing skirt, flopped on the sofa next to Gayle, who’d steered clear of her most of the evening. They’d avoided each other, but for different reasons.
“This turned out good,” Gayle said, taking a sip of her drink. “Pete’s drunk, he’s not gonna be much good to you tonight.”
Tamara snorted. After seeing Max, she’d broke things off with Pete as soon as he arrived, which may account for him drinking more than he should. “I’ve survived this long without good dick, I’ll survive a little longer.”
Gayle giggled. “No, you did not just say that.”
Tamara shrugged and pushed up. “I did, and don’t think I don’t remember what happened at the restaurant, I do. Later.” She pointed at Gayle, who grinned up at her. “Seriously we’re going to talk about your behavior.”
“It’s not her fault, I asked her to help me.”
Tamara whirled around and stared at Max. Her mouth opened and closed. But she couldn’t speak. Good Lord the man looked yummy. Half-inebriated she imagined running her fingertips across his wide chest, or allowing him to play with her fingers in his mouth or run his hands over her ass. Those wild ideas made her heart race and her panties moist.
“I’ve got to get a certain drunk person home. Don’t worry, the musicians have packed up and are heading out along with everyone else. You two need to talk.” Gayle walked out the room before Tamara could speak.
“I’m sorry,” Max said, standing in front of her looking sexier than any man had any right to be.
Remember what he did, how much it hurt, the nights you lay awake crying to hear from him. “Okay.” She shrugged and glanced at the closed door he blocked.
“I should’ve handled everything differently. Should’ve called, talked to you about what I was going through, all the thoughts in my mind. I didn’t and I’m sorry.”
She shrugged as if his words didn’t faze her. Three months ago, she would have tap-danced on Broadway to hear what he had to say, now they were words with little worth.
“Nothing to say?” he asked.
“Not really. You did what you needed to do, didn’t bother to share any of that with me. If it makes you feel better to say I’m sorry… okay. I hope it helps. But it does nothing for me.”
His eyelids lowered and then he took a step closer. “Okay. I deserve that. You’ve moved on, I deserve that too. But it doesn’t help. Nothing helps. I’m in this bubble and I can’t break out. I keep going over everything in my mind, the things I should do, seems like I can’t. Why is it easier for me to deal with someone I don’t give a damn about when all I think of is you? Because she’s safe?”
Tamara took a step back. “I don’t want to hear about you and your women.”
He ran his hand through his hair. “There hasn’t been any women since you. Why is that? I keep asking myself why I can’t move on. You have.”
Hearing him admit his life was as bland as hers had been eased her pain somewhat. “Why are you here, Max?” He’d asked her a similar question when they first met.
“I need to know if you’re it for me.”
“I’m not.” She didn’t trust what the gleam in his eye did to her girly
parts. Her nipples already hurt.
“You can’t be sure. I dream of you, I see you swollen with my babies, loving me when my hair is white. Why am I thinking like that if you’re not my one?”
Tamara swallowed hard at his softly spoken declaration. “I don’t know.” She took a step to the side, prepared to leave the room. If she didn’t, the barrier wall she’d built around her heart would tumble, leaving her vulnerable again. Remembering the days of pain and heartache, she stiffened.
“I can’t answer those questions for you,” she said.
“I love you.”
She pointed her finger at him. “Don’t you dare… don’t you say that now that I’ve moved on and decided to protect my heart from you. Why couldn’t you tell me that three, two, or even a month ago? You were a coward.” She reached him in two steps and jabbed her finger into his chest. “You are a coward. You asked me to trust you and I did. What did you do with that? Huh? You bailed at the first sign of emotions, you left me behind.” Her chest heaved as she released the hurt and pain of his betrayal.
He reached for her.
She lifted her arm and stopped him. “You don’t have the right to touch me, not after leaving me without saying good-bye. No texts, no calls, nothing to tell me you and your son were okay? What? You were too busy living in this fucking bubble? Guess what? I’m not buying that. You’re selfish and a coward. You were afraid to man up and deal with your feelings.”
She stepped aside and headed for the door.
“You’re right.”
Tamara stopped.
Max faced her. “You’re right. I was and still am to a certain degree, scared of what I’m feeling. I’ve never been in love with a woman before. I loved my family, but they’re all dead.” He took a few steps until he reached her. She looked up into his eyes, saw his pain and confusion.
“I love my friends but they don’t drive me crazy with thoughts like this. I am scared to love you, Tamara. I admit it. Loving you leaves me open, and even though my heart tells my mind you’re not like the Adele’s or Carin’s in the world, my mind still sees their bullshit in living color.”
“If you think I’m like them, you shouldn’t be here.” She turned. His hand rested against the door, above her head, keeping it closed. He moved closer, his scent filled her nostrils. Closing her eyes, she refused to look at him.
“I’m here because I’m tired of this battle on the inside. I was dropping Kevin off to Beth tonight because I planned to come and talk to you. That’s when I found out you were having this party. Gayle told me to give you five hours, I did that.”
Tamara swallowed hard when his fingers ran up and down her back.
His hair brushed against the side of her face. “I’m sorry Tamara, I was a coward when it came to facing my feelings for you. It scared me how much I wanted to be with you all the time, and how much I needed you. I’ve never needed anyone before or allowed their needs to come before my own.”
“I don’t trust you.” She delivered those four words which as much heat as she could considering the fire of lust running through her body.
Max didn’t play fair. He brushed his hardness against her ass while boxing her into the door. “If you give me another chance, I promise I’ll make it up to you. I’ll earn your trust and give you my heart.”
Tamara closed her eyes and shook her head. “You hurt me.”
“I know, and I’m sorry.”
He still hadn’t touched her and she wanted to feel his warmth.
“Let me think about it.” She bit her lip and prayed for strength.
He took a step back. “Okay. Whatever you need. I ask one thing.”
Tamara exhaled and then sucked in air. “What?”
“Neither of us date while you’re thinking about it. I’m not that accommodating. I’d rather you tell me now you never want me in your life than know you’re with another man.”
She turned and met his sincere gaze. “You’ll be faithful to me?”
His brow rose. “That was never a problem. I don’t want anyone else. Can you say the same?”
She hid a smile at his testy response. Dating Pete had really gotten to him.
“Tamara?”
She met his narrowed gaze. “Yes, I can say the same. But I’m not sure how we move past this.”
“Can I touch you?”
After a miniature battle with her mind, her heart won. “Yes.”
He took a step and held her close. She reveled in the feel of him and yes, he was home.
“I’m sorry, baby. I promise to make it up to you. Give us another chance, please,” he whispered against her forehead.
“How do I know you won’t shut me out and leave me again?” She stated her biggest fear.
“Because you won’t let me. You’ll pull me aside and let me know that’s what you’re feeling and we’ll talk it out, we can make this work. I know we can. Give me another chance.”
Heart racing, she closed her eyes and listened to the steady beat of his heart. Could she take another chance with him? When he left, it was ten times worse than Eugene. She’d had no warning, his abrupt departure had come out of left field.
“We can do this, but we go slowly. Go home tonight, let’s think about what we want in a relationship and tomorrow, the three of us, you, me and Kevin, have a meal together. Because let’s face it, if he has major problems with us, we’ll need to rethink some things.”
“Baby, he’s five. I’m not going to allow him to run my life.”
Tamara thought of the past three months and kept the cutting remarks to herself. “I understand, but this is the way I want it. We need to do this with him so he never feels left out or that I’m taking you from him. He needs to see you happy with a woman who isn’t his mom.” This time they would take their time and do it right. Strong relationships took time to build and she was worth it.
Max squeezed her tight. “Okay. We do it your way. Can I hold you a while longer?”
Tamara exhaled, releasing the knot of tension that held her hostage. She hadn’t been sure he’d agree to involve Kevin in their courtship, but for her it was critical that they do this together, as a family.
Tomorrow they would start over, take it slower, and do it right. She snuggled closer filled with hope that her love for him was enough and that in time they would become a family in truth.
Reclamation: That’s Not My Baby
Max, Brock, and Jose were SEAL team-mates with a plan. They’d set up a place for vets to hang-out, grab a hot meal and be themselves. Brock would head up the hostage removal firm which the other two were share-holders. Jose died in a car accident before their businesses really got off the ground, leaving his wife, Adele, for his partners to take care of. At least that’s the way they set things up. But no one expected Adele to be such a pain in the ass or that she’d be used to keep tabs on Max or that she’d end up raped and pregnant.
Max and Brock step up to defend their fallen brother’s wife only to discover she hadn’t told them everything in That’s Not My Baby. Coming: January 2015.
Erosa Knowles
Erosa Knowles has a love for the written word. Originally from Miami, Florida, Ms. Knowles now resides in North Carolina with her teenage son. Two older children are married and live in North Carolina as well. An avid reader since college, Ms. Knowles is one of those people who keeps her books as old friends and has re-read all of them at least once. Many have been read more often.
Writing stories, creating worlds and characters fuels her imagination. It is both physically relaxing and mentally invigorating. Although life got in the way and she had to postpone her writing, it is the one career she always craved. As a full time writer, her days are just as full, except now she is doing what she loves; reading exciting stories from talented authors from various genres, and writing the stories that tickle her imagination.
Please visit her website: http://www.erosaknowles.net for other titles. Also check out the Men of 3X Construction website: www.menof3X
construction.com. Also please visit the Club Reclamation fan page on Facebook to keep up with the wily characters and surprises. http://on.fb.me/1wqp4Rp
All my books can be found on Amazon, Barnes & Nobles, All Romance, and SittingBullPublications.com
Other Books by Erosa Knowles:
Reclamation – Murder at the Beach
Reclamation – Lies in the Morgue
Reclamation – That’s Not My Baby – (Jan 2015)
Letting Go
Lyon on a Leash
Promises Kept
Loving a Bad Boy*
Secrets
Special Forces
Nikki’s Challenge
The Ultimate Breed
Have I Told You Lately?*
Ready for Love*
Where There’s Smoke*
Not This Time*
Run to You *
Double Trouble *
Lawked Flame
Jaleesa’s Pleasure
Jones Girls – Sabrina
Jones Girls – Melissa
Jones Girls – Angela - (coming Feb 2015)
* denotes Men of 3X CONStruction series
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