"Got busy? What possibly could a seven-year-old have to do apart from clean his room?" Connor watched Cooper closely, and though he attempted to use a serious tone, it failed. I heard his amusement and pride when he spoke to his son.
"I. . . Dad is changing the subject Mom." His large black eyes snapped back to mine, while he pointed a finger at Connor. "He was the naughty one."
"You're changing the subject, Cooper. Why didn't you clean your room?" Connor spoke directly to him, his voice still light, "You knew that was your punishment after what you and your cousin did to Mark."
"Me and James did nothing." Cooper crossed his arms.
"James and I didn't do anything." I corrected him, "and don't lie Cooper."
How did I know he was lying? I just did. I couldn't explain it.
"Because someone else would put a hose in his car and write 'Cop and Jam rule' on the back of his car, with paint." Connor shook his head and then shot me a quick wink.
"Well, you have only left us with one option Cooper." Connor voice was firm.
"You can't take my Xbox away." Cooper quickly glanced at me for help, "Please. Please. I will clean it now. I promise."
"Cooper, you said that last time." I chimed in, again not understanding why I knew.
Cooper crossed his arms and then quickly spun around and began to dart from the room, "You can't take what you can't find." He sang over his shoulder, reaching for the door.
"Wait, Cooper." I called at him.
He glanced over his shoulder at me, his hand on the door knob. He was ready to make his getaway.
"Thanks for breakfast and I'll hold your dad off for five minutes or so." I winked at him and his little face beamed with a large smile before he flung the door open and I heard his little feet slap down the hall as he ran away.
"You will, will you?"
I glanced at Connor and nodded my head. He looked the same, apart from the slight six o'clock shadow, which defined his strong jaw line.
"And how do you plan on doing that?" He arched an eyebrow.
I brought myself up to my knees on the edge of the bed and leant up to him. His hand automatically went around me and rested on my lower back. I still had to look up at him slightly, god he was tall.
"I've missed you." I sighed softly and kept my eyes locked with his. I saw the slight confusion flash across his eyes.
"Sweetie I was gone for less than an hour. Are you getting clingy on me?" He smirked down at me.
I rolled my eyes and reached out, placing a hand on each of his arms, "Me clingy, never."
I let out a little squeal of surprise as he flung me up in the air and pulled me from the bed. I felt like a feather as he held my weight so easily. I reached up and wrapped my arms around his neck and my legs going around his waist.
He leant his face down to my shoulder, holding me close to his chest with one hand, the other ran across my collar bone and he moved the tank top strap I wore out of the way. Slowly he planted his lips on my mark, his mark of claim on me.
"I love you." He muttered into my shoulder, "I'm never letting you go."
My grip around my neck tightened, neither was I.
"Come on." He pulled away from my neck and looked me in the eye, "We better go find that son of ours before he hides everything he owns."
I chuckled lightly and it was refreshing to hear. I nodded my head and slowly I slid down Connor's body and my feet sunk into the soft carpet.
His structure, ever muscles as I ran my hands across his upper arms, was how I remembered.
Connor took my hand and I walked in his wake as he guided us across the room. I glanced down at his hand as it was wrapped around mine. We belonged connected. I tightened my grip around him without thinking.
He shot me a questioning look out of the corner of his eye as he opened the door. I just shrugged my shoulders. I wanted to have a tight grip on him, I wanted to never let go.
"So what do you want to do today?" Connor asked, "I know you said you wanted to keep this birthday low key, but I think our chances are slim."
"As long as you are here, I don't care."
Connor frowned at me, "I'm always here; even when I am away, I'm still with you. You know that."
"Yeah, I know." I let my eyes float to the ground. "I just can't face things without you."
"Yes you can." He stopped and turned to face me "You don't need me sweetie. I'm the one who needs you."
His other hand went under my chin and titled my head up to look him in the eye. His eyes could see through my fear, through my emotions and straight to my soul. He was the only person in the world who I knew could see through me; who knew me completely?
Connor's eyes softened and slowly he brought his hand from my cheek and twisted a door knob to a room, I wasn't even aware we were standing at. The door flung open and I noticed the flashing of a body as little Cooper dashed around the room, hiding things.
"What did I tell you?" Connor said amused to me, as we moved to stand in the large doorframe. He untangled his hand from mine and then wrapped his arm around my shoulder and pulled me to his side.
"Are you really going to take his things away?" I asked as I watched Cooper stuff a large bag under his bed. He was making grunting noises as he pushed with all his force to make it fit.
"Do I ever follow through?" Connor arched an eyebrow at me. "Look he cleaned his room and didn't even realize it."
"You're a great dad." I watched Connor look across as Cooper with admiration, before he brought his eyes down to me. "Cooper needs his dad."
"No, he doesn't," Connor's expression was soft, "He only needs you to love him."
"No, he needs you. I need you."
Connor turned his body around and his arm fell from my shoulder, he took both my hands and his face remained soft.
"No, you don't sweetie. You don't need me."
I shook my head, ignoring the tears that threatened to drop, "I can't do it without you. I can't live without you. I can't raise him without you. I can barely live without you."
"Cooper only needs you to love him." Connor's expression remained soft as he stared down at me, "He only needs his mum to love him. Everything else sweetie, you don't need. You two don't need me."
"I can't live without you."
"Yes, you can."
"I love you. I can't, I just can't do it without you. He looks like you, to me he is you. It hurts." A tear fell down my face, and Connor's expression remained soft.
"We created him out of love. And he is the image of his mum. You just haven't looked closely enough." Connor leant down and kissed my forehead, "Don't let sadness blind you."
"Connor you don't understand. I can't love him, not after—"
"Do you love me?" his eyes were clouded. I couldn't look into his emotions. I couldn't understand why he asked, but I already knew my answer.
"Yes." And that was why it hurt so much.
"Then you can love our son." His voice was so strong and firm, yet soft and caring. He believed I could, he knew I could. "You don't need me sweetie. I am the one who needs you. You never did."
Connor let go of my hands and took a step away from me, his eyes still soft as he watched me.
"He needs his dad. He needs you. I-"
"You don't." His smile was gentle, I felt like he was leaving me. "You two don't need me. Cooper only needs you."
I heard my name being called in the distance; like it was far away. I kept my eyes on Connor, his small smile and soft eyes consumed with love. He was a great father, a great lover, and he was my mate. We needed him.
My name was getting louder, and as it did Connor's appearance began to get harder to focus on. I took a step towards him, but yet he was only fading more, with a gentle smile on his face.
"Isabella?"
I squinted my eyes to keep Connor's image under lock, but it was pointless; he was fading away from me. I reached a hand out, but my vision was going cloudy; Connor's image disappearing.
"ISABELLA!"
"Isabella?"
My head snapped to the side. Chase was standing beside the bed, his eyes wide with terror and his whole expression pale.
"It's Cooper, something's wrong Is." His voice leaked with concern and fear.
I flung the blankets back and accidently shouldered Chase as I hurried out the room. The blood curling wails of Cooper deafened my ears as I hurried down the same hallway and broke out in the lounge room. Chase right behind me. How had I slept through this?
Nick held Cooper in his arms as he squirmed and screamed. His face was red and his eyes were closed tight as he screamed his lungs out.
"He has a fever," Chase said as he hurried past me, "We can't get it down."
I stood frozen in the lounge room, watching my child scream and squirm.
My child.
"Give him to me," My voice was low as I reached my hands out for him. Nick and Chase's mouths flung open and they stared at me. "Please?"
Nick shifted Cooper in his arms and when he didn't make a move to hand him over, I walked to his side and gently pulled Cooper away from his embrace. Nick's body was frozen in shock, which stopped him from reacting.
I steadied my breathing as I wrapped my arms around Cooper. For the first time. I held my son, our son.
I put the pain to the side, the pain of my experiences, the pain of my past and with the little pieces I had, I threaded them back together. Because now I knew I had to.
He only had me. He would never have Connor as the father, to tell him to clean his room to hold him. We had to live the life together that was meant to be lived by three and live it only with each other. Connor wouldn't be there.
"We should run a warm bath." I muttered, while calming myself so I could calm Cooper. I let my mind shield the sadness that usually consumed it. Chase seemed to snap out his shock and quickly brushed past me as he headed to the bathroom.
I followed slowly behind him, but didn't pull my eyes from Cooper as he squirmed in my arms, tears still rolling down his red hot cheeks.
I had to be strong, I had to. Everyone had attempted on their way to convince me to accept Cooper. But it was his father, my underlying connection with him, that made me come to reason.
I had lost Connor and it had shattered my world; it has sent me into darkness. But my light was in my arm and it was Connor who made me realize this. Even though he was never to know this. He had sent me into darkness and then proved me with the light to see what I was doing within the darkness.
The bath filled with warm water, and I leant Cooper down on the change table and took his clothes from him. His body was absorbing my connection, my relaxation.
I kneeled beside the bath and lowered Cooper into the water. Supporting his body with one arm, and with my other hand, I ran the water over his body.
"Call Serenity," I sang over my head "and ask Anne for advice."
If we lived in a pack house, or if we were back at the castle, I would call for the doctor. But we weren't and a human doctor wouldn't understand.
Cooper tears began to dry and his face relaxed slightly. My relaxation was sinking into his skin, and his worries were disappearing. I brushed the black hair from across his face.
He was all I had left of the life I was meant to live and I wouldn't lose him; like I lost his father.
Connor's words echoed in my mind 'You never needed me'. I could do this. I could love our son. I wouldn't give in to the darkness that surrounded my mind. Connor knew I could do this; he had faith in me. That I convinced myself.
I had a glimpse of the life the three of us should have lived together. The dad Connor should be to Cooper. But now light was shone through my closed eyes and now I knew; I had lost him, but I hadn't lost our son.
Connor had given me the gift of Cooper and I had ignored it. We created this life, we created Cooper. If that was the only thing to come out of our shattered love then perhaps the betrayal, heart ache and pain was worth it. But this was something I would think of later, because right now I wasn't strong enough too.
I had to be strong to build a life for our son. I had to pull myself back together. I had to unlock the doors I had closed on my life and I had to enter through them. I had to live the path I had been thrown on with Cooper.
I loved Connor and I would always love for him, I couldn't hide from that anymore. The pain I felt when I thought that I had to come to terms with the pain, accept it and pray that over time it would fade. I could no longer be the shell, not when Cooper needed me.
Cooper's eyes fluttered open, his face still slightly red, but his eyes dried from tears. His little, large black eyes stared up into mine and they mirrored Connor's.
My heart fluttered, and I felt the wave of emotion as I stared into his eyes, Connor's eyes.
But as I stared deeper into them, I noticed the crystal blue tint that flashed across them. Why did he have that tint, I didn't know. But it mirrored the color of my eyes and I had a feeling just like my eyes shone red when I was angry. His tinted with blue when he felt at peace.
I smiled slightly and now only realizing that tears rolled silently down my cheek. I lifted him from the water and grabbed the towel that Chase handed to me, wrapping him up into a bundle.
He pulled an arm out of the small bundle and his little hand reached up to my face. Holding him to my chest with one arm, I pulled my other hand free and placed it on his chest. His little hand wrapped around one of my fingers.
Walking from the bathroom, Nick stood to the side as I walked past him and out into the lounge room. Sitting down in an arm chair, I held Cooper close to my chest.
His eyes slowly fluttered closed and his chest was rising with ease. His tears and wails now a distance memory as he laid in my arms completely still and in peace.
I knew he would be alright, because I would not let him be otherwise. I could love him unconditionally, with protection and devotion.
I did.
I had pretended to ignore him, I had convinced myself I didn't love him, but he was my son, our son.
And it was Connor who made me realize this. Connor who spread light back into my life and he would never know he even did it.
Connor had ended my life and then had handed me a second one and I was to live that one with his son.
Silent tears rolled down my cheeks, as I looked at my son for the first time; how could I have been so blind?
Chapter Five
Isabella
His smile was haunting my nightmares, apart from when I was asleep. I didn't class it as a nightmare; no it was a good dream. It was only in the morning when I awoke, that I realized I had spent my whole night sleep dreaming of Connor's smile. It was at that point I classed it as a nightmare.
"Is?"
I looked up from the Cooper as he slept in my arms and looked at Chase.
"Umm?"
"Are you sure you are right with him?" Chase glanced at Cooper briefly "Because I am more than willing to give you a break."
"Chase, seriously I am fine." A small smile crept at the corner of my lips, "Honestly."
Chase frowned at me from across the room and I knew what he was thinking or waiting for. He was waiting for me to snap, to go back into my shell; a shell I had once taken to living in.
"I have to do the grocery shopping." Chase crossed his arms, "Are you sure you will be right with him, by yourself?"
It had only been three day's since I had started to take a role in Cooper's life and everyone was watching me, waiting for something.
"Actually I think we will join you." I slowly got up from the arm chair, Cooper stirred in my arms. "I think he is only sleeping because I am holding him."
"Could be a point. He doesn't usually sleep this much." Chase ran a finger across Cooper's forehead, "I still don't get it."
"Get what?" I asked lightly while shifting Coop
er's weight in my arms and glancing up at Chase; as he stood beside us now.
"What changed your mind?" his eyes studied me for a moment "What made you accept Cooper?"
"I just had my eyes forced open, that's all."
We shared a gentle smile. I had a role to take in life, and even though I felt like I was missing half of myself. I had to live, I had to pull myself together it was for everyone's sake. My eyes drifted down to Cooper in my arms, it was especially best for him.
I knew it was hard, but when had my life ever been easy?
Connor
I rubbed the side of my temples. The connection to my daughter was giving me a headache, again. Pulling myself up from my armchair I walked to the bottle cart and poured myself a straight glass of whiskey.
A connection to your infant, was weak for the first few years. Until they changed into a cub, the connection would strengthen and then your bond with them would never be breakable. You can feel their pain, feel their thoughts and most importantly hear their thoughts.
Which made me question why my connection with May, was so strong already? She wouldn't be crying, but yet I felt the dull headache as if she was in pain.
I walked out of my study and made my way to her room once more. As the dull ache in my temples occurred once again, like it always did when she was in pain. Why wasn't Melissa dealing with this? Was she a complete useless mother?
I gritted my teeth as I stormed through the corridors. How was I meant to help organise the search for Isabella when I had this nagging ache. My hand froze on the door knob, and I frowned I couldn't hear her cries again.
Cracking the door open I walked quietly into the room and sure enough her little body was lying still in her crib. Leaning over I placed a hand on her forehead, she was warm and sleeping peacefully.
Then why did I have this pain in my temples? Sighing I pulled my hand from her and then sat in the armchair across from her. Slumping down into the armchair and bringing my fingers to my temples I attempted to rub the pain away.
Why was I feeling this? Closing my eyes and gritting my teeth, perhaps she was having a nightmare? This wasn't a connection to my family, my bond to my family was strong. This was weak, not fully developed- like a child's connection. Unless....
Royal Blood and One Forever : Book Three Page 4