“Should I try to use the shadow magic?”
The elf shrugged. “See what forces answer your call.”
Aeron licked his lips, closed his eyes, and muttered the syllable that unlocked the spell’s power. He stretched out his senses, seeking the delicate threads and forces that he needed to weave the spell. Instantly he realized his perceptions had changed from his earlier days. Before he’d seen the life, the light, the energy of everything around him. He’d drawn on the motion of the wind, the strength of the earth, the life-force blazing within his own breast. But now, in his mind’s eye, he perceived a black echo of each of these threads. The rock beneath him was old and fissured. The wind held the telltale imbalances of the storm brewing over the mountains. Even the vital flame of his own spirit guttered with uncertainty and the frailty of his flesh.
Carefully he tried to avoid plucking the dark strings of energy, grasping only for the bright threads he’d used with impunity before. But as he seized the wind’s sighing breath in his mind, he also gathered the anger of the coming storm. When he used the living energy of his mind to shape the spell, the darkness and doubt followed. Aeron struggled to disentangle them, but it was useless; light and shadow were intertwined, and the effort to part them was exhausting him. His heart thundered in his chest, and he gasped for breath, caught on the cusp of a spell that was indiscriminately drawing its power from his own body.
“Aeron! Finish it!” Fineghal shouted from a great distance. “You cannot power the spell without the Weave!”
In desperation, Aeron seized the dark with the light. Shivering with fear at the power he touched, he wove the invisibility spell and vanished from view. Shaking with fright, he held his head in his hands, trying to understand what had happened.
“Aeron? Are you well?” Fineghal asked the night.
“I … I think so,” he answered. “Did it work?”
“You wove the spell well. I cannot see you.”
“This is not so pleasant an experience as weaving a spell from nothing but the Weave,” he said carefully. “It’s like … grasping a rose that cuts with its thorns.”
“Did you feel the stone’s influence?”
“In a sense, yes, but I suspect the Shadow Stone merely opened my eyes to something present all along. Maybe under the stone’s influence a wizard is forced to accept only the dark forces of decay and corruption.” Aeron felt his voice shaking. He was maintaining the spell, but it was not an unconscious effort.
“So you did not tap any power directly from the Shadow Stone,” Fineghal observed. “You simply used magical energy, both dark and bright, that exists all around us. I never suspected I stood so close to the shadow.”
Aeron ended the spell and took stock of himself. He seemed unhurt, although his hands ached with cold and his muscles were weak and watery. “So the stone is not the sole source of shadow magic. It serves as a magnet, a lens of some kind, blinding you to the living Weave of our world.” He leaned back, staring up into the sky. “I can’t imagine what I would have seen in the world around me if I’d been fully caught by the stone’s curse. All the world would have been an open grave in my eyes.”
“What will you do?” asked Fineghal.
“I think I will resume my studies,” Aeron said. “But more carefully this time.”
The summer passed, lazy and golden, as Aeron worked out the forms and rules of the magic he now wielded. Fineghal helped where he could, but the noble elf was blind to half of what Aeron wrought. Aeron had to devise a new method for recording his spells, a new symbology and logic for casting them, and he had to learn how to use his power all over again.
Two summers came and went. Aeron painstakingly defined the structure of his sorcery, the medium by which he could record and speak his spells, the techniques with which he could wield both the Weave and the shadow magic from the endless dusk. He moved carefully, setting aside his studies for weeks at a time to roam the forest with Fineghal or to visit with Kestrel and Eriale, spending days helping Kestrel with his woodcutting, trapping, and hunting.
In his third summer with Fineghal, war swept through Chessenta. Cimbar and Akanax spent months battling in the rugged lands along the Akanamere, while their allies and supporters fought to a standstill elsewhere. Soorenar stood neutral, still husbanding its strength for the future. But the tide of conflict never ran as far south as Oslin, and the Maerchwood was undisturbed. Aeron wondered if Oriseus or Dalrioc had anything to do with the strife, but there was no way he could find out without returning to Cimbar, and he was not ready for that. He doubted if he ever would be.
In the winter that followed the temporary waning of the war in the north, Aeron translated all the old spells he had once known by heart, rephrasing them so that they made sense to his symbology. He spent long, lonely weeks in the paneled libraries of the Storm Tower, transcribing his old notes. He’d been forced to abandon the glyphwoods; the old elven spell tokens could not encompass the magic he worked to master. Instead, he used written spellbooks after the style of the college, but he phrased the spells in his own cipher.
Within the year, he mastered all the spells he had formerly learned from Fineghal and even worked out transcriptions of several spells he’d been taught at the college. Fineghal studied his writings intensely but could not make the leap to Aeron’s unique symbology. “Your cipher seems meaningless to me,” he told Aeron on one occasion. “Yet the structure seems familiar.”
“Elven magic accounts for the Weave, and so the glyphs and runes you’ve taught me work for recording part of my spells,” Aeron explained. “But it does not account for the shadow magic, the powers of darkness and entropy that exist in the planes alongside our own.”
“You’ve found an answer, I trust.”
“That’s what I’ve been trying to work out,” Aeron said. “I’ve found that the notations and the logic behind magic as it’s taught at the college are useful. The forms of human magic work, regardless of which powers are manipulated.”
“That is why your work seems familiar,” Fineghal said. “It is derived from human magic. But if human sorcery is capable of wielding power from beyond our world, how do human wizards resist the corrupting influence of shadow magic and similar forces?”
“Many do not,” Aeron replied. “I believe a great portion of the magical lore that has become rite and rote for human wizards is shielding, protection against the darker influences that might otherwise swallow a mage. Sorcerers who are unwilling or unable to take these steps are devoured by their work. That is a road I don’t want to walk.”
“You seem to have survived so far.”
“I don’t think I’m the same person I used to be.” Aeron closed his book and rose, pacing over to the window. “Everything is ambivalent now. I used to be able to tell the difference between strength and decay, between growth and sickness, but now I can’t sense one without sensing the other. I can’t find beauty anymore, Fineghal. There’s always a flaw, a cancer in the rose.”
The elf lord was silent for a long time. “I had no idea you’d have to pay such a price,” he said quietly. He set his hand on Aeron’s shoulder and left him to his work.
Late in the following spring, Aeron visited Saden for several weeks, helping Kestrel to clear some land and raise a sturdy new house to replace the simple cabin the forester had first built when he settled in the freehold. It cheered him to see how happy Kestrel and Eriale were, although it saddened him, too. He was reminded again of the loneliness of his chosen life. Aeron made up for it by throwing himself into the work, chasing the cobwebs and unsettled fears from his mind with hard physical labor.
On the last night of his stay, they all enjoyed a fine dinner in the newly finished cabin with a handful of their neighbors. After the cider and ale were passed around, Aeron went outside and sat on the porch, gazing out into the woods. The door creaked open behind him, and he glanced up as Eriale joined him. “You don’t care for company?”
“I’ve become used to my ow
n,” he said with a smile. They shared a long silence, gazing up at the clear stars that glittered above the rustling trees. “You’ve done well,” he said after a time.
“I didn’t know I needed your approval,” Eriale laughed. “But thank you. I think so.” She reached out and pinched his arm. “Do you have any thoughts of settling down?”
Aeron frowned. “I am settled down.”
“All you ever do is study, locked up in that tower. What are you going to do when you finish your studies? What’s the point of it all?”
“I can’t finish, Eriale. That’s the nature of magic, of being a mage.” He thought for a moment, seeking the words to express what he’d come to recognize over the last few years under Fineghal’s tutelage. “I’m not an apprentice, learning a craft to earn my keep for the rest of my days. Magic isn’t what I do; it’s what I am, and what I’ll always be.” He laughed quietly. “You might as well ask me what I’ll do with myself once I learn how to be human.”
“No one’s meant to be alone, Aeron,” Eriale said. “What did you do to deserve such a lonely existence?”
“Even if I lived in a house in the middle of Maerchlin, I’d still be on the outside,” he replied. “People fear what they don’t understand.”
Eriale shook her head and looked away. “Do you ever wonder how things would have turned out if you hadn’t met Phoros, Regos, and Miroch on the path that day? What you’d be doing now, what your life would be like?”
Aeron glanced at her. “It never occurred to me.”
“Not once? With a mind as sharp as yours?”
He closed his eyes and tried to picture it. He’d have stayed in Maerchlin, working Kestrel’s land on the outskirts of the village. Maybe he would have finally escaped Phoros Raedel’s notice when the young nobleman inherited his father’s seat. He thought of the girls he remembered from Maerchlin, but he couldn’t imagine being married to any of them. “I don’t think I was ever meant to be anything but a wizard,” he said at last.
Fineghal and Baillegh were not at the Storm Tower when he returned, so Aeron returned to his studies. He was engaged in devising a new spell, and it quickly absorbed his full attention, so that he didn’t notice for three more weeks that Fineghal had still not returned. This wasn’t unusual; over the years he spent more and more time pursuing his own studies, while the elven wizard went his own way, but as each day passed, a vague unease settled over him.
Finally, a month after his visit with Kestrel and Eriale, Aeron set out to some of the places he knew Fineghal often lingered. At first he followed a methodical pattern, moving from place to place to cover the most ground, but within a day, he felt he was being guided to one particular spot. At sunset of the second day of his search, he found himself standing on the ancient hilltop of Forest’s Stonemantle, the same place where he’d withstood Fineghal’s test seven years before. Patiently he settled down to wait.
His intuition did not disappoint him. As the dusk deepened and the stars emerged, Fineghal appeared, leaping gracefully from stone to stone as he ran up the path in his effortless stride. Baillegh bounded behind him, dancing with delight. “Greetings, Aeron. I see you received my summons,” he called.
Aeron scrambled to his feet just in time to meet Baillegh’s playful rush. He scratched the hound’s ears while she rubbed her head against him. “I didn’t realize you wanted me,” he said. “I’m afraid I delayed a day or two.”
“No matter.” Fineghal settled himself on a boulder, a smile flickering across his face. He almost seemed to shine with the starlight, radiant under the night sky. The night was warm, with a steady breeze out of the east that carried the sounds and scents of the woods up to the rocky heights. The elf lord’s gaze settled on Aeron. “Tell me, Aeron, are you content in this existence?”
“Content?” Aeron blinked. “Magic challenges me in a way that I never could have imagined. It’s a dark and silent path we walk, but I had no choice but to follow it.”
“What would you have done differently?” Fineghal asked. “Would you have stayed in Maerchlin to face Count Raedel’s justice for wounding his son? Would you have allowed Kestrel to die in Raedel’s dungeons, or remained in Saden instead of going to the college?”
Aeron weighed Fineghal’s words. “No,” he said. “I don’t think I would have made any of those decisions differently.”
“Then what does it matter if you had any choices or not? You would not have availed yourself of them. You would not be the man you are today if your life had followed a different road, so why waste time on regrets?”
With a rueful smile, Aeron shook his head and sat down by the edge of the precipice. “I guess that in a thousand years you learn to accept the decisions you made in the past. If you had to bear the weight of every mistake you’d made over such a long time, you’d be useless.”
Fineghal laughed in the dusk. “If anyone ever asks you, Aeron, that’s the secret to happiness. Forgive yourself and learn from your mistakes.” He turned his head into the breeze, inhaling deeply. It occurred to Aeron that he’d never seen Fineghal so lighthearted. The elf’s mantle of dignity was softened by a childlike delight in his surroundings, despite the gravity of their conversation. After a time, he returned his attention to Aeron. “You said that you wondered if you’d ever made any choices in your life. I have another decision to offer you.”
A faint apprehension narrowed Aeron’s eyes. “You called me here. What is it?”
“I have lived in this land for a thousand years. For the past three centuries, I have lived here mostly alone, the keeper of this land of golden glens and emerald groves. I have guarded its borders against dragon and man. But I weary of this burden, Aeron. The time has come to set it down.”
Aeron was speechless. He started to protest but fell silent. Instead, he waited for Fineghal to continue.
The elf lord fixed his bright gaze on Aeron’s face. “I want you to take up my watch, Aeron. You know this land nearly as well as I, and you have a wisdom far beyond your years. The Maerchwood needs a guardian.”
“I don’t know what to say,” Aeron stammered. “What are you going to do?”
“I want to rejoin my kinfolk. To wander, free of care. To know that, should I be slain tomorrow, someone else stands over this land and guards it.”
“Fineghal, I don’t know how I can replace you.” Aeron stood and paced away, dusting off his pants. “You taught me the elven magic when I first began my studies, but my sorcery is something different now. It’s … darker, tainted by the forces you’ve fought against all your life.”
“That is the human conflict, Aeron. To be Tel’Quessir is to be immortal and unchanging, one with the land, one with yourself. Humans must struggle every day to lead the life we live of our own accord.” Fineghal closed his eyes, picking his words. “I sometimes believe the elves cannot know virtue, since we do not have to fight for it. Perhaps this is why it is so easy for the elves to misjudge men.
“Aeron, the world has grown old since my youth. The Tel’Quessir are long gone from Calmaercor. The time has come for a human heart to love and guard it.”
“Fineghal, I don’t know what to say,” Aeron replied.
“You need a purpose, Aeron. And the forest needs a guardian. Think on it.” Fineghal watched him for a moment, and then retreated from the cliff top, leaving Aeron to consider the question in solitude.
Aeron stared out over the dark blanket of trees that lay spread out below, broken here and there by gleaming streams of water or the gray, shaggy stone hilltops. On the Forest’s Stonemantle, he could feel the living forest all around him, from the bright stands of cedar facing east toward Unther to the low, mist-cloaked marshes in the southern reaches of the woodland. It was his anchor, the one place in which he had no pretensions, no delusions, no fears.
He thought for more than an hour, until he heard Fineghal returning to the hilltop. The elf trotted up and sat across from him, waiting for his answer.
“I’ll do it,” Aeron sa
id. “When do we begin?”
Fineghal grinned. “Begin? Six years ago, when you came to me and begged me to show you how to work magic.”
“Wait, that’s not fair. What do I do? Where do I go? How do I protect the Maerchwood?”
“Do what you think is right,” Fineghal replied. “Your heart will not lead you astray.” He suddenly laughed in delight. “There is one more thing I must do.” Fineghal spoke a string of liquid syllables, an elven tongue so ancient that Aeron could barely understand it, and passed his hand over his chest. As he extended his arm toward Aeron and unfurled his palm, a tiny dancing flame appeared, a jewel-like point of light that stole Aeron’s breath. Fineghal pressed the flickering light to Aeron’s shoulder. “May you hold this honor with courage, compassion, and wisdom.”
Aeron shivered as an electric sensation ran through his body. He sat back, blinking at his chest, but there was no light to be seen. His skin tingled beneath his shirt, and he pushed his shirt aside to see what was there. A strange mark in the shape of a lightning stroke marked his right shoulder, just under his collarbone. “What is this, Fineghal?”
“It’s the mark of the Storm Walker, Aeron. I’ve carried it for centuries. Now I pass it to you.” The elf’s features seemed youthful, illuminated by some light from within. The elf released him and rose, seeming to shimmer before him. “Turn your sight inward for a moment, Aeron. You’ll understand what I have just given you.”
Aeron looked down, his face taut with concentration as he tried to describe to himself the strange sensations that electrified him. He had to grasp the earth with both hands to keep from falling. He felt the land as if it were an extension of his own body. The weathered gray hills were his bones, the rich earth and magnificent groves his flesh, and the running waters his blood. All the countless animals and birds and fish that lived within the forest’s borders burned like brilliant myriad points of light and life, bathing him in a boundless sea. He rose to his feet, feeling the faint stirrings of warmth and dawn in the east, sensing the rustling motion of the animals of the night seeking their lairs, the restless sleep of other creatures anticipating the new day.
The Shadow Stone Page 23