“You’ve been spending too much time around Dad.” Before Josiah invited Molly home, they’d only really talked after she was finished cleaning his not-so-messy apartment.
“Maybe, but that doesn’t make me wrong. Listen, I get it. She’s a pretty little thing. She speaks the same weird movie-song-lyric language as you. She’s sweet as all get-out, and funny. If she wasn’t with you, I’d be seriously looking in her direction.” Bear grinned. “So, why did you volunteer to clean my feed room the day before Christmas? There’s a very hot place covered in a thick sheet of ice right now, and I want to know why.”
Josiah huffed and crossed his arms over his chest. “Just because I volunteer to do manual labor doesn’t mean something is up.”
Bear waved him off and straightened. “You can shovel that somewhere else. Now, I know something’s up.”
“I told her we should get married in order to give us a better chance at keeping Ellie.” It flew out of his mouth before he could stop himself.
“Married? Josiah…man, that ain’t no small thing. You ready to be a daddy? Because that little baby is an innocent bystander in all this. The second you decide to step into that role, you can’t take it back.”
“I wouldn’t want to take it back.” Josiah raked his hand through his hair. “Bear, I love that little girl. I know it’s not all fun and that taking care of her is a commitment that lasts a lifetime, but I want her.”
“But marrying her momma? Is that something you really want to do?”
“I don’t know.” Which is why he wanted peace and quiet to think. So he could figure out a few things. It felt like he had to choose between his career and having a family. A decision he wasn’t sure he was ready to make.
Bear eyed him. “Be honest, Josiah. There’s no shame in having feelings for her.”
Josiah’s gaze dropped to the floor. “She doesn’t feel that way about me. The only reason she’d be marrying me is to keep Ellie.”
“That’s not what I asked.” Bear popped him on the shoulder. “Answer the question and answer it honestly.”
“Yes…” he said, swallowing hard as the answer came out in a burst. “I want to marry her.”
“Now we’re getting somewhere. Do you love her?”
Nodding, Josiah lifted his gaze to Bear’s. If he was honest, he loved her more than anything. Yes, he wanted Realtor of the Year, but he also wanted Molly. He just didn’t know how to balance it. He didn’t even know if it was an option.
“Yeah. But she doesn’t feel that way about me, and I need to just not think about that. I need to keep myself prepared for the possibility that she’ll never feel that way about me,” Josiah replied.
Bear took a deep breath. “Are you okay with that? And don’t give me bull, because you can’t tell a lie to save your life.”
Talk about a tough question. That was at the heart of all his thoughts. Could he be okay with that? What if Molly never felt about him the way he felt about her? Sure, they could get a divorce later on, but he wasn’t sure he could stomach getting married and knowing they’d be ending it sometime down the line.
“I don’t know, Bear. That’s what’s been bugging me since I suggested it. But I can’t go back on it. I mean, I could, but I don’t want to hurt Molly.” And now he felt like a lowlife for even having all those thoughts. He’d said he’d do whatever it took to keep Ellie. Now all he could do was question it.
“Yeah, it would be a tough thing to do.” Bear nodded. “That is, if I thought those feelings were one-sided. Thing is, I’ve seen how she looks at you, too.”
Josiah grumbled, “Then why go through all this interrogation?”
Smiling, Bear said, “Because you needed to hear your thoughts out loud. I’ve got no advice on any of it, but I know you. You’ll do the right thing.”
The right thing. Keeping his word to Molly or protecting himself? How could he choose himself when a baby was in the middle of it? He couldn’t. At least, he didn’t think so. Hopefully, by the time the lawyer called, Josiah would have a solid answer. Maybe hiring the lawyer would make Molly’s mom rethink taking Ellie, and all the worrying would be for nothing.
Chapter 15
Sauntering into the kitchen, Molly went straight to the sink and washed her rag out. She’d gotten up before dawn to clean the house before everyone woke up for Christmas. Josiah wasn’t the only one who had a love language. Yes, there were gifts under the tree for everyone, but they were purchased with Josiah’s money. Molly needed her own gift to give.
Mostly, her sleeplessness was due to his proposal. She hadn’t expected that at all. It had made sense to her, but it was a big deal. He’d even offered to adopt Ellie, not even flinching when she’d said he’d be forced to provide child support. He’d just offered his life to her so she could keep her baby. What kind of man did that? None that she’d met before him.
Still, it was marriage and adoption, and it was a lot to consider. Would the marriage end one day? When? How did that get decided?
“Wh-wh-what are y-y-you doing?” asked Bandit.
Molly startled and blew out a big breath as she leaned her stomach against the counter. “You scared the daylights out of me!”
Bandit’s cheeks turned pink, and he lowered his gaze. “I’m s-s-sorry.”
Talk about a sweet, cute guy. It had been a shock to find out he wasn’t a member of the West family. He looked so much like them—tall, dark hair, strong jawline. He fit perfectly.
“It’s okay. I thought I’d clean the house to get it ready for Christmas,” she replied.
He lifted his gaze and looked around. “Looks gr-gr-great.”
She shrugged. “Thanks. I was just rinsing out this rag, and I’ll be out of your hair.”
He shook his head. “N-n-nah, you’re fine.”
Just as he finished the statement, a yawning Reagan entered the kitchen. “I’m sorry. I’ll get the coffee going.”
“Now, that is worth getting up early for,” Molly said as she wrung out the rag she’d been using. “Where should I put this?”
“L-l-lay it on th-th-the sink. I’m sure I’ll need it later,” Bandit replied. “I’m going to ch-ch-check the firewood and m-m-make sure there’s enough for the d-d-day.”
As he left the kitchen, Molly parked herself on a stool at the island. “You make the best coffee I’ve ever tasted.”
Reagan laughed. “Thanks. I’ve always just thought of it as coffee. It wasn’t until I got here that I was told it was great.”
“Well, it is. Like, secret-ingredient, crave-for-it-nightly great,” Molly said with the best Scottish accent she could muster.
“That’s funny. Sounds similar to something Josiah once said.” Reagan finished getting the coffee ready to brew and leaned her hip against the counter. “You two make a good couple.”
Molly’s eyes widened. “We’re not…” They weren’t a couple. They took care of Ellie together and kissed…a lot. But that didn’t mean they were a couple. Just friends with lucrative kissing benefits.
Reagan held her hand up. “You’re talking to the woman who pretended to be a man’s fiancée. Of all the people in this house, I am uniquely qualified to call your bluff on that.”
“He’s just helping me with Ellie. He’s the baby whisperer.”
“You look at Josiah the same way I looked at Hunter.” She smiled. “You may not want to admit it, but you know I’m right.”
Molly hung her head. “I can’t date, Reagan. After all I went through as a kid, the way my mom dated. I don’t want that for Ellie.”
“That’s a fair point, but do you really think Josiah is the kind of man to walk out? Is it really Ellie you’re worried about, or is it yourself?”
Molly lifted her head and began to protest. “I’m—”
“I’m not judging, because I’ve been there. Admitting that I loved Hunter meant that getting hurt was a real possibility. No one in their right mind wants to be hurt, and I’m imagining that’s especially true when you
have a baby to consider.”
What could Molly say? The truth was, she was afraid of being hurt. She was afraid of leaning on someone, allowing Ellie to lean on someone, and risking their hearts. What if Josiah decided in five or six years that he’d had all the fathering he could handle? What then? Even adopting her, he could wash his hands of her. Just like Molly’s biological father. He’d found a new wife and then a new life with three kids.
Reagan covered Molly’s hand with hers. “Listen, it’s scary trusting people. It’s even scarier trusting yourself. I know from experience.”
“Yeah?” Molly’s stomach was twisted in knots.
The last thing she wanted was to hurt Josiah. He’d been more than wonderful to her, but what if it wasn’t Ellie he quit? What if it was Molly? Could she withstand being abandoned again?
“No one can make these choices for you. No one can change you either. It was a hard lesson I had to learn. I needed to change because I didn’t want to live in the past. Yes, there’s a chance Hunter could hurt me in the future, but there’s also a chance he won’t. I had to decide that I wanted Hunter more than I wanted safety.”
“Do you still feel like that?”
Shaking her head, Reagan said, “Actually, what I’ve found is that I’m safer with Hunter than I am alone. I’m not saying either one of us is perfect, but when it comes to having each other’s backs, I can count on him.”
Molly did like the sound of that. She’d been on her own so long that it was all she knew. The idea that she could depend on someone was both exciting and scary. “If I tell you something, will you keep it a secret?”
“Well, it would depend on the secret.”
“Josiah suggested we get married as a way to keep Ellie.” Molly paused a moment to gauge Reagan’s reaction. “I have to admit it’s tempting, but I don’t want to use him like that.”
“Wow. That’s…wow.” Reagan pulled open a cupboard and took out two cups, pouring one for Molly and then herself. “Sweet, though. Josiah loves Ellie…and I think he feels the same about her mom.”
Waving her off, Molly stood, went to the fridge, and pulled out the cream. “No, we’re friends. Before this…” Before this what? She always found a reason to stick around until he got home on the days she cleaned his apartment.
She’d known from the very beginning that he’d hired her because he found her crying. It had been the elephant in the room from the start, and he’d confirmed it on the drive to Caprock Canyon. Who wouldn’t have a crush on a man who did that?
Plus, sheesh, he was cute. She’d thought that the second she saw him that day in the coffee shop, and if she was being honest with herself, he’d been the reason she’d gotten that order wrong. She’d still been ogling Josiah when the next customer ordered.
Reagan grinned. “Yeah, before this, there was already something brewing. Josiah is a good guy. He’s sweet and funny. Part of the time, I get his movie and song references, but you two? It’s like you speak Elven or something.”
“Josiah is a fantastic guy.” That wasn’t even debatable. He was the most incredible man she’d ever met, and she did care about him. But this was about more than just them. It was about Ellie too. No, Molly didn’t want to get hurt, but more than anything, she didn’t want her little girl to get hurt like Molly was the day her dad packed. He was going to keep in touch. Nothing was going to change, and he still loved her.
But it was a lie. It may not have been an intentional lie when her dad made the promises, but he’d broken them just the same. He didn’t keep in touch. Everything changed, and she’d been left picking up the pieces like breadcrumbs, trying to find her way back to normal—something that didn’t exist anymore.
“Good morning, ladies.” King smiled as he walked into the kitchen, grabbed a cup from the cabinet, and held it out as Reagan filled it. “Thank you.” He looked at Molly. “She’s one of my favorite kids.” He looked back at Reagan and winked.
Rolling her eyes, Reagan took a sip of her coffee. “He always says that. It’s the coffee.” She laughed.
“Nah, it’s the coffee maker.” He laughed and took a seat next to Molly, patting her on the back. “How are you doing this morning?”
“I’m okay. All things considered.”
“That’s about all you can be. Josiah said you’ve got a Tasmanian devil for a lawyer, so that’s got to help a little.”
A little? “No, it helps a ton. I just wish I could understand my mom.” Not just that, but was Molly a bad mom? She’d been asking herself that since the conversation with her mom.
She and Ellie didn’t have a big apartment. She couldn’t be a stay-at-home mom because she had to work. There was no big back yard or great school in the suburbs. Were those the things that made a mom great?
Molly’s mom had worked. They were in just a so-so school district. They lived in a house, but they moved not long after her dad left. Molly didn’t think of her mom as a bad mom at the time.
“I’ve got no answers for that. I won’t judge another person’s parentage. At some point, we’ve all failed.” King took a drink of his coffee and groaned. “Oh, Reagan, I think this is your best pot yet.”
“You say that every time.” Reagan laughed.
“It’s true every time.”
Hunter strolled in, dressed in jeans and a t-shirt, and stopped by Reagan. “Hey.” He smiled, put his arm around, and kissed her. “Good morning.”
Reagan leaned into him. “Hi.”
Molly’s envy factor tripled. She wanted that so badly, but was she ready to be the person someone could lean on? Granted, she’d taken on the responsibility of taking care of Ellie, but that was a different kind of commitment than a relationship and love and marriage.
“I think I’m going to go check on Ellie,” Molly said and stood, quickly setting her cup in the sink and leaving.
As she reached the top landing, she paused as she heard singing coming from the end of the hall. Following it, she tiptoed down the hall and stopped at her room. She had the monitor in her pocket, but she’d not heard Ellie at all.
Leaning against the doorway, her heart melted as she listened to Josiah singing to Ellie. She knew the melody, “Goodnight, my Angel,” but he was changing the words.
“Good morning, darling, now we’re both awake, and I can’t wait for the smiles you’ll make. My promise is to never leave and cherish moments just like these. Your tiny laughter is the greatest prize a father could ever want to hear. These lyrics are a horrible mess, but I don’t care because you can’t understand.” He sang the last sentence as off-key as possible, and Molly held in a giggle.
Josiah stopped humming and held Ellie up in front of him. “You are the tiniest, cutest person in the whole world, but that’s just between us. Okay? My brother Wyatt would disagree, and I’d hate to throw down with him.” He brought her close and kissed her. “And since I’m a lover and not a fighter, a fight would just end with me having a lot of bruises.”
Before Molly could announce herself, Josiah sighed and brought Ellie close to his face. “I sure do love you. I hope you know that despite my singing. We probably should have your hearing checked the next time you visit the pediatrician. For that, I’m truly sorry.” He grinned.
He loved Ellie, not Molly. Sure, they were kissing a whole lot, but how long had it been since she’d kissed someone? The last couple of months had been hard on her as she learned to balance work and being a mom. Everything she was feeling could be explained away as loneliness and stress.
Reagan meant well, but she was wrong. What she saw between Molly and Josiah wasn’t feelings as in dating or otherwise. It was two extremely lonely people finding common ground and using the other person to satisfy the need for companionship. There was nothing more to it.
Molly didn’t need to worry about her heart being broken or leaning on someone. As soon as the holidays were over, she’d keep in touch for Ellie’s sake, but whatever was going on between her and Josiah would be over as soon as they we
re back in Dallas and reality hit. With the pressure from her mom, did she really need to add relationship questions on top of it?
Taking a deep breath, she closed her eyes and stilled her mind. It was Christmas Day. A day to relax and enjoy the present with presents. That’s what she was going to do. Cast worry aside and focus on the now.
Chapter 16
With Molly sitting next to Josiah, holding Ellie, it was easy for him to picture his life. Well, with maybe a couple more kids and even maybe a cat. Hunter and Reagan’s Great Dane was cool, but picking up after it? Uh, no, thanks.
Molly shifted Ellie from one arm to the other, and the conversation he’d overheard returned in stereo. He’d listened to Molly and Reagan talking for a minute and gone back upstairs to tend to Ellie so Molly could have her conversation without being interrupted.
She’d said he was fantastic…and just a friend. He’d known that, but hearing it was disappointing. He wasn’t even sure that was the right word for it. Expected? Maybe that was a better word.
After his talk with Bear, he’d allowed himself to get his hopes up about maybe having something with Molly. So much so that, if he was truthful, it was more than disappointing. More like heart-piercing.
He’d even reconsidered the whole marriage suggestion…until he held Ellie. As much as he loved her, he knew Molly loved her even more. He couldn’t go back on his promise to do everything he could to keep Ellie from being taken. It wasn’t like the whole marriage thing was set in stone anyway. If the lawyer didn’t see a reason for it, they wouldn’t.
“Josiah?”
The sound of Molly’s voice broke through his thoughts, and he looked at her. “Uh, sorry.”
His dad held up a gift and laughed. “You must have been thinking awful hard if you didn’t hear me call your name.” He passed the gift to Wyatt, and it slowly reached Josiah.
He shook his head. “No, just relaxing.”
His dad eyed him for a second. “If you say so.”
After tearing the paper off the gift, Josiah pulled on the corners of the box until it popped. A smile formed on his lips as he plucked the gift out, and he laughed. “A Mr. Matchmaker cruise to Alaska?” He grabbed the wrapping and checked the name on the gift tag. “Carrie Anne, what is this?”
The Housekeeper's Billionaire Boss (Caprock Canyon Romance Book 3) Page 10