by Emma Louise
“I don’t know what’s happening with you guys, but if you need anything at all, even just someone to listen, I'm here,” I tell her honestly.
Watching her fall apart is hard, but I know she needs to work through it. When she hits rock bottom, she’ll come out the other side. Better and stronger than she was before. Just like I did when I lost her.
Lucy spends a minute or two sitting quietly, composing herself before standing to leave.
“I should go before Breeze comes back,” she sniffs. “I don’t think she’d appreciate finding me crying over her boyfriend like this.”
“You going to be okay?” I ask her.
“I’ll be fine.” She nods “Thanks.” Giving my hand a squeeze, she walks away. She doesn’t get very far before she turns back toward me. “I’m happy for you. She’s perfect for you and Abel. You have a beautiful family.” Her words stun me into silence.
She’s right. My family is fucking beautiful.
It isn't until Lucy has gone that I notice Bree hasn’t come back yet. Checking my watch, I see she’s been gone nearly thirty minutes now. Picking up my empty beer bottle and the baby monitor from the floor, I realize that I didn’t hear anything while she was putting Abel down. Usually I get to hear their chattering back and forth as she gets him ready for bed. Unease sits heavy in my gut. Something feels off.
Slowly pushing open the door to the room where Abel is supposed to be sleeping, I half expect to find it empty. Instead, I find my son tucked in tight and fast asleep. His diaper bag is on the floor at the end of the crib. Breeze must have gotten distracted on her way back to me. Heading toward the voices I hear coming from the kitchen, I see Poppy and Elliott lifting a huge cake from its box.
“Hey,” Poppy says when she sees me, “how’s Breeze feeling?”
“Where is she?” I ask.
“She didn’t tell you?” Poppy says, continuing to fuss over the cake. Frustration bites at me. I knew something was wrong.
“Pop,” I snap, “tell me where the fuck she went.” I know it isn’t Poppy’s fault, but I can’t help it. She wouldn’t have left without telling me why, unless there was something very wrong.
“She came out from putting Abel down, and she looked really pale. She said she didn’t feel good and that her brother was going to come pick her up.”
“And you didn’t think to fucking tell me?” I shout.
“I thought you knew!” she shouts back.
“How long?”
“What—”
“How long ago did she leave?” I grit through clenched teeth.
“Not long, maybe twenty minutes ago?” she says, concern tinging her words.
“Can you watch Abel?” I ask, but I'm already moving toward the door.
“Of course. I hope she’s okay,” she calls out, but I don’t wait around to answer. I’m out the door and in my truck within minutes.
I’ve called her over and over as I drive toward her apartment, but each time it rings out. I can’t shake the fear that’s taken a grip on me. My mind is working overtime trying to work out why the fuck she’d leave like that.
Pulling my truck into a space in front of the apartment, I see a car parked in front of her garage. I assume it’s her brother’s. Taking the steps two at a time, I'm about to knock on her door when I hear voices, specifically Breeze. I freeze in place when I hear her say my name. There’s a small window next to the door, and it’s open a few inches, allowing me to hear what’s being said.
“Just calm down and tell me what happened.” Her brother’s deep voice carries over the sound of her crying.
“What happened was I almost gave up my dream for a guy who was just using me as filler.” She cries, and my heart drops. Why the fuck would she think that? “I planned to tell him that I was falling for him, all the while he’s telling his ex ... whatever she is, that he still thinks about her. I watched them sitting there, looking like they were made for each other. You should have seen the way she looked at him.” She whispers the last part. “I felt like an outsider, again.”
I restrain myself from kicking the fucking door open and telling her how wrong she is. I know this is my fault. I should have told her how I felt. I should have made it so there was no room for doubt.
“What did he say when you confronted him?” Her brother sounds like he wants to rip my balls off.
“I didn’t. I called you instead.” She sniffs.
“Sis, we don’t run away from shit. It's not the Lucas way.”
“I know, but I just couldn’t take it.” Her voice sounds muffled, and I assume she’s letting her brother hold her. It should be me.
“You were going to stay? For him?”
“For them,” she says.
“You’d give up your dreams?” He sounds shocked, but not as shocked as I am right now.
She was going to stay? I’ve known about her plans to travel from the beginning. I know her dreams, her desire to follow her mom's wish for her. Hearing her say she was going to give all that up for me fills me with a warmth like I've never known. She’d put her life on hold for me and my son.
“No, Asa. My dreams just changed.”
Fuck me.
Done with listening to her, I twist the doorknob and step inside. Breeze turns to look at me, shock clear on her face.
“Fucker,” Asa mutters as he takes a step toward me. He’s a big guy, but I'm bigger. Stopping just inside the doorway, I cross my arms over my chest.
“You were going to stay for me?”
I’m struggling to not break down as my brother holds me, but I can feel my emotions getting the best of me. I’m sad, but I'm also disappointed.
The front door opens, and TJ strides into my tiny apartment. Asa’s arms tense around me before he pushes me behind him. He takes a step toward TJ, fists clenched. Of all the people that I could have called to collect me from that party, I had to choose my hot-headed older brother. Before Asa can take another step, TJ speaks.
“You were going to stay? For me?”
Of course, he heard me say that. Anger blossoms inside me.
“I don’t think that matters anymore, does it?” I can’t help but spit the words at him. Our eyes lock, anger blazing in his dark ones. How dare he be angry at me.
“I think it’s best if you just leave,” Asa says, interrupting our stare off.
“I’m not leaving,” TJ states darkly.
“You will if tell you to,” Asa says, matching TJ’s deadly tone.
“We’ll see,” TJ retorts.
“Enough!” I shout, causing both heads to swing in my direction. “You’ll both leave whenever I tell you to leave.” Turning to face TJ, I don’t try to hide my feelings anymore; why should I? “TJ, I have no idea why you’re even here,” I say, throwing my hands up in frustration.
“Are you kidding me? You fucking left!” he shouts, his face turning a shade of red I've never seen before. “You went to put Abel down for a nap, then you disappeared!”
Something in me snaps, and I can’t hold back anymore.
“Because I heard you!” Tears fill my eyes, and there’s no point trying to fight them as they fall. It hurts too damn much.
“Baby, let me—” TJ steps toward me again, but Asa cuts him off.
“Back off!”
“I don’t want to fight you, but I will if you don’t get out of my way,” TJ growls at my brother, and his voice is sharp, the sound cutting into me.
“TJ, please. I can’t do this,” I whisper.
“Tell me what you heard,” he demands, but I can’t answer. The thought of saying it out loud kills me.
“It doesn’t matter—” I try to speak, but it’s his turn to cut me off.
“You heard me speaking to Lucy, tell me what I said,” he demands, voice raising.
“I heard you tell her you still think about her.” I draw in a breath, trying to get the courage to continue. “I heard you tell her how she messed you up. I saw you hold her hand.” The last comes out as
a whisper.
“That’s it?” he demands.
“That’s not enough?” I shriek.
“So you missed the rest?” His whole body seems to deflate, the fight draining out of him. “You missed me telling her that I never loved her. That I didn’t know what love was until I met you.” He says the words so softly that I'm almost sure I've misheard him.
“What?” I breathe.
“It’s you, Breeze,” he answers. “I told you before, all I see is you.”
This time when he moves toward me, Asa doesn’t get in his way. Before I realize what’s happening, TJ has me swept up in his arms. I bury my face in his neck as tears of relief course down my face. Wrapping my arms around his neck, I hold him as tight as I possibly can.
“I’m an idiot.” I cry.
“You are,” he agrees, murmuring against the top of my head, “but you’re my idiot, okay?”
“Okay.” I sniff, unable to control my crying.
A little while later, we’re laying on my bed. TJ is on his back, propped up against the pillows, and I’m tucked into his side tightly, my head resting over his heart.
Once TJ managed to calm down my crying, I introduced him to Asa properly. They shook hands and didn’t seem to hold any grudges against one another. I promised to call him if I needed anything, then Asa left.
“Is Abel okay?” I ask, breaking the silence of the last few minutes.
“He’s fine, baby.”
Another few minutes of silence pass, and I’m not sure I can take much more.
“Are we okay?” I ask, bracing for his reply. “I’m sorry for overreacting—”
I don’t get the words out before I’m pushed onto my back, and TJ’s large frame is hovering over me.
“It’s me who should be apologizing. If you had more faith in me, in us, you wouldn’t have run.”
“No,” I interrupt him, “I should have trusted you. You’ve never given me a reason not to. I think I was just waiting for the other shoe to drop.” I hold his beautiful face in both hands and pull him closer for a kiss. I can’t believe I tried to walk away from this man. Looking in his eyes, I can see how he feels about me. How was I so blind before? He’s shown me every day how he feels. He’s let me in to his life, his son’s life, and until now, I didn’t appreciate how telling of his feelings that is. “You’re an amazing man with an amazing child, part of me couldn’t understand why you’d want me. It was easier to believe that you just wanted me for now than it was to believe you might want more with me.”
“I should have told you, made sure you understood,” he murmurs between pecks to my lips.
“You did. I just wasn’t listening.” I try to concentrate on getting the words out, but it’s an impossible task with the weight of him pressing me into my bed. Shifting so he can look into my eyes, TJ rests his head against mine before he speaks again. I don’t just hear what he says this time, I feel it.
“I don’t just want more with you, sweetheart. I want it all.”
The world stops. Time stops. It’s just us here in this moment.
“Made a lot of mistakes in my life, baby. I’d make them all again. Every single one if it brought me to you again.”
When his lips touch mine, I can taste the urgency. The deep need for me to believe his words. And I do. I don’t doubt his feelings, not anymore. Right there, in my bed, I finally open my eyes and my heart and let this man all the way in.
“Fuck, yes,” I hiss through gritted teeth. Unable to rip my eyes off the sight in front of me. Breeze’s face down in the bed, ass up in the air, and my dick sliding in and out of her pretty pink pussy. “Love how you take me, baby.”
Breeze loves it when I talk dirty to her. I can’t say it’s something I've ever consciously done, but if doing it gets her pussy to convulse like it just did, I'll make sure to do it more often.
My fingers trace down the silky-smooth skin of her back, all the way down to her peachy ass, and I grab a handful of flesh and pump harder. I’m not going to last long like this, she feels too fucking perfect. Sliding out of her wet heat, I get a hint of satisfaction at the disgruntled moan she lets out.
“Don’t stop,” she begs.
“Patience, baby,” I tell her as I flip her over on to her back. She doesn’t have time to reply before I’m sliding back inside her. Pure fucking perfection.
My blood is buzzing in my veins. I’m high on her. High on our connection.
Her thighs tighten around me, and I can feel she’s right there on the edge. It won’t take much to push her over, but I'm in the mood to savor her. Shifting on to my knees, I pull her legs from around my waist and put pressure on the inside of her thighs so she’ll spread them wider for me.
Slowing down my thrusts, I drag my cock almost all the way out, before slowly pushing all the way back in.
“Baby ... please...” Breeze groans, her eyes locked on where we’re connected.
“What do you need?” I pant, the thin grip I have on my desire about to snap.
“You. Just you.” Her eyes flick up to meet mine, and that’s all it takes. Leaning over her, I hook one of her legs over the crook of my elbow so I can slide in even deeper.
“Love your pussy, baby,” I growl against her lips.
“Harder. TJ ... please,” she begs again, and this time I give her what she wants. My hips snap against hers, harder, faster. Driving us toward an ending I know will be explosive for both of us.
Her breath catches, her body going taut for a few seconds before she starts to fall. I feel her, each wave of pleasure that washes over her, rippling through her, and along my cock. Reaching down between us, I run my thumb over her clit, prolonging her pleasure as much as I can.
“TJ!” she gasps “I can’t ... It’s too much.” Her eyes slam shut, but I don’t stop; I keep up the punishing rhythm even when her head digs into the pillows. The feel of her nails digging into my biceps only fuels me to push harder into her.
Pounding harder still, I revel in the feel of her. Her warm, wet heat is unreal. The way she squeezes me so fucking tight steals my breath.
I feel the tell-take tingle start at the base of my spine, and I know I’m done. She feels too fucking perfect for me to hold out any longer. I see stars as I finally let go and plant myself as deep inside her as I possibly can, not moving as my orgasm barrels through me.
“I’m pretty sure that’s the hardest I’ve ever come.” I breath into Bree’s neck a few minutes later. She giggles, causing my semi-hard cock that’s still buried deep inside her to stir to life at the feeling. Lifting my head out of her neck, I kiss her softly.
“Let’s go get Abel and go home.”
Smiling softly, she just nods.
“I feel a little silly, going back into your brother’s house.”
We’re in my truck, driving to pick Abel up.
“They won’t care. As long as you’re okay, they won’t give a shit about anything else. Trust me, they’ve had enough drama of their own over the years.” I try to reassure her.
“I know.” She’s quiet for another minute before asking, “Will Lucy still be there?”
We’ve only managed a brief conversation, but I’ve told Bree that whatever is going on with Lucy has nothing to do with me. She’s the only one I want, and I'll keep telling her that until I'm blue in the face if that’s what it takes for her to believe me.
“I don’t know. Please try to forget that shit. Lucy will work her shit out and probably be mortified about how she was today.”
“I’ll try,” she says, squeezing my hand.
Luckily the party is over, and everyone is gone by the time we get to my brother’s.
After coming home and getting Abel ready for bed, I watch as Breeze does her usual yoga routine with him. It's crazy how quickly we’ve settled into a routine. I can’t imagine her not being here with us, a part of everything we are.
Asa’s words from earlier rattle around in my head.
“You’d give up your dream
for him?”
The thought of my Breeze sacrificing her wants for me sits sour in my gut. Can I ask her to do that?
As much as it pains me, I realize that no. I can’t.
“You said he was hot, but you didn’t say he could be on the cover of Men’s Health.”
Ava whisper shouts as she passes me in the kitchen. After weeks of her pestering me, I finally caved and brought TJ and Abel to family dinner.
Ava and I are inside clearing away the dishes, while TJ is on the back deck talking sports with Asa, my other brother Beau, and our brother-in-law, Carl. Ava’s daughter is sitting on the floor in front of Abel’s carrier, pulling faces and making him giggle his infectious laugh.
We’ve both been incredibly busy with work, and TJ has been with Jonah more and more as the weeks have gone on, so it’s taken longer than I'd have liked to arrange tonight.
“I told you he was gorgeous,” I laugh. “Wait till you see him holding his son. Your ovaries might not be able to handle it.”
“Things are good with you two? He couldn’t keep his eyes off you over dinner,” she says, handing me a dish to load into the washer.
“Things are very good. It's crazy, but it feels like we’ve been doing this for years, not just a few months.”
“It’s not a little weird? You didn’t just get a boyfriend; you got a baby at the same time,” she asks, but there’s no judgement, just curiosity.
“They’re a package deal, and I wouldn’t have them any other way.”
Ava watches me closely, and a slow smile creeps onto her face.
“You love them.” It’s a quiet statement, not a question.
“I do,” I tell her, my voice firm. I know my family had their reservations about my relationship, and I understood why. Not only is TJ a new father, he’s also at least ten years older than me. It’s never been an issue for us, but my family are natural born worriers, and I knew they would need to see for themselves before they would understand.