TEACHER: Let’s see if we can find a way for you to do the important part of the assignment—letting me know what you thought of the story you just heard, which is something you’re very good at—without you getting frustrated about the spelling part.
RICKEY: How?
TEACHER: Well, maybe Darren would help you with any words you don’t know how to spell.
RICKEY: No way.
TEACHER: How come?
RICKEY: He’s going to rag on me about needing his help.
TEACHER: Hmm. Is there anyone who could help you who wouldn’t give you a hard time about it?
RICKEY: DeJuan.
TEACHER: DeJuan? That could work. You’d feel more comfortable with him?
RICKEY: Yeah, he’s smart.
TEACHER: You’re smart, too. You just have some trouble with spelling.
Of course, it would be far better to handle this problem proactively, especially since this isn’t the first time it’s occurred. In other words, Rickey’s spelling problem is predictable. So rather than dealing with the spelling problem emergently, every day, which is very time-consuming, the teacher would want to schedule a time to solve the problem with Rickey using Proactive Plan B, preferably before it erupts again in the middle of another lesson.
By the way, the ingredients of Plan B can be applied to every student in the class, each of whom has problems that need to be solved. If every student is working on something, then the student with concerning behaviors doesn’t stick out like a sore thumb.
STUDENT–STUDENT AND GROUP PROBLEM SOLVING
Plan B can also be applied to unsolved problems that may arise between two students. In such instances, the teacher’s role is Plan B facilitator. Here’s an example from Lost at School:
MR. BARTLETT: Hank, as you know, in our classroom when something is bothering somebody we try to talk about it. As I mentioned to you yesterday, I thought it might be a good idea for me and you and Laura to talk together about the project you guys are supposed to be doing together.
HANK: OK.
MR. BARTLETT: She has some concerns about what it’s going to be like doing the project with you. It sounds like you guys worked on a project together last year, yes?
HANK: Yup.
MR. BARTLETT: I don’t know if you knew this, but Laura came away from that project feeling like you weren’t very receptive to her ideas and feeling like she did most of the work. So, she wasn’t too sure she wanted to do this project with you.
HANK: She doesn’t have to do the project with me. I can find another partner.
MR. BARTLETT: Yes, she was thinking the same thing. But I was hoping we could find a way for you guys to work well together. What do you think of Laura’s concern?
HANK: I don’t know. That was a long time ago.
MR. BARTLETT: Do you remember how you guys figured out what to do on last year’s project?
HANK: No.
MR. BARTLETT: Do you remember Laura doing most of the work?
HANK: Sort of. But that’s because she didn’t like the way I was doing it, so she decided to do it herself.
LAURA: That is so not true. I did most of the work because you wouldn’t do anything. And you wouldn’t listen to any of my ideas.
HANK: Well, that’s not how I remember it.
MR. BARTLETT: It sounds like you both have different recollections about what happened last year and why it didn’t go so well, so maybe we shouldn’t concentrate so much on what happened last year. I don’t know if you would ever agree on that. Maybe we should focus on the concerns that are getting in the way of your working together this year. Laura, your concern is that Hank won’t listen to any of your ideas. And you’re both concerned about the possibility that Laura will do all the work. I wonder if there’s a way for you guys to make sure that you have equal input into the design of the project, without having Laura do all the work in the end. Do you guys have any ideas?
LAURA: This is so pointless. He won’t listen to my ideas.
MR. BARTLETT: Well, I know that’s what you feel happened last year, but I can’t do anything about last year. We’re trying to focus on this year and on coming up with a solution so that you and Hank have equal input and work equally hard.
LAURA: Can you sit with us while we’re figuring out what to do? Then you’ll see what I mean.
HANK: Then you’ll see what I mean.
MR. BARTLETT: So, Laura, you’re saying that maybe if I sit in on your discussions, I might be able to help you guys have a more equal exchange of ideas?
LAURA: That’s not really what I meant.
MR. BARTLETT: I know, but I’m thinking that it might not be a bad way to ensure the equal exchange of ideas. What do you think?
HANK: I think we can work together.
LAURA: Fine, sit in on our discussion and help us have equal input.
MR. BARTLETT: Only if that works for you guys.
LAURA: It only works for me if I have to work with him.
MR. BARTLETT: I’m not saying you have to work with him. I’m saying I’d like you to give it a shot so the other kids don’t have to break up their pairs. We can entertain other options if that solution doesn’t work for you.
LAURA: What other solutions?
MR. BARTLETT: I don’t know. Whatever we come up with. Can you guys think of any others?
HANK: We could do the project by ourselves, you know, alone. She could do one and I could do one.
MR. BARTLETT: Well, that would probably work for you guys, but it wouldn’t work for me. One of the goals of this project was for kids to learn to work together. I think it’s an important skill.
LAURA: Why don’t we try to work together, with you helping us, and if that doesn’t work we can do our own projects.
MR. BARTLETT: Hank, does that solution work for you?
HANK: Sure, whatever.
MR. BARTLETT: I need to think about whether it works for me. You guys’ll try hard to work together with me helping you?
LAURA: Yes.
HANK: Yes.
MR. BARTLETT: OK, let’s go with it. We’re working on the project again tomorrow. I’ll sit in on your discussion with each other and see if I can help make sure the exchange of ideas is equal and the workload is equal. Let’s see how it goes.
While some problems are best addressed by using Plan B with individual students or pairs of students, other problems, especially those that affect the group as a whole, are best addressed by using Plan B with the entire classroom community. Group discussions are a common occurrence in many classrooms, but mostly on topics that have an academic orientation. But when the three steps of Plan B are added to a group discussion, and when such discussions are about nonacademic problems such as bullying, teasing, and general classroom conduct, then community members learn to listen to and take into account one another’s concerns and recognize that there are no “right” answers, only solutions that are mutually satisfactory. Group problem solving is hard, but no harder and messier than having problems that never get solved or having problems that “go underground” because there is no mechanism for solving them.
Yet again, the ingredients are the same, and the classroom teacher is the facilitator. The first goal is to achieve the clearest possible understanding of the concerns of each group member with regard to a given problem. Once the concerns have been well clarified, the group moves on to the next challenge: finding a solution that will address those concerns. The criteria for a good solution remain the same: it must be realistic and mutually satisfactory.
When using Plan B with a group, the teacher helps the group decide what problems to tackle first, keeps the group focused and serious (group members will eventually take on these responsibilities as well), and ensures that the exploration of concerns and solutions is exhaustive. The teacher’s stance in helping the group sort through concerns and solutions is generally neutral. There are no good or bad concerns, no such thing as “competing” concerns, only concerns that need to be addressed. L
ikewise, there are no right or wrong solutions, only ones that are realistic (or not) and mutually satisfactory (or not). There’s an excellent video of full-class Plan B on the Lives in the Balance website.
PARENT–TEACHER PROBLEM SOLVING
Parents of kids with concerning behaviors and school personnel often have difficulty working together for the same reasons that kids and adults do: the tendency to blame one party or another; the failure to achieve a consensus on the true nature of a kid’s difficulties (lagging skills) and the true events (unsolved problems) precipitating his explosions; the failure to identify the concerns of the respective parties; and the attempt of one party to impose its will on another. As Sara Lawrence-Lightfoot writes in her insightful book The Essential Conversation: What Parents and Teachers Can Learn from Each Other, great potential exists for productive collaboration between parents and teachers. When parents and teachers are able to exchange highly specific information about a child’s lagging skills and unsolved problems, they start trusting each other. Parents become convinced that they are being heard and that the teacher sees, knows, and cares about their child. Educators become convinced that the parents are eager for information, eager to collaborate, and eager to help in any way possible. Both parties need to be part of the process of working toward a mutually satisfactory action plan. You’re on the same team.
Here’s what Proactive Plan B looks like between parents and teachers. Once again, it uses the same ingredients: information gathering and understanding, entering the concerns of both parties into consideration, and brainstorming solutions that are realistic and mutually satisfactory.
TEACHER: I understand that homework has been very difficult lately.
MOTHER: Homework has been very difficult for a very long time. You’re the first teacher Rickey’s had who’s expressed any interest in what we go through with homework. We spend several hours fighting over homework every weeknight and every weekend.
TEACHER: I’m sorry about that. But let’s see if we can figure out what’s so hard about homework and then come up with a plan so it’s not so terrible anymore.
MOTHER: You can’t imagine how nice that would be.
TEACHER: Can you tell me the parts of homework that have been difficult for you and Rickey? Or is it all hard? You don’t mind if I write these down, do you?
MOTHER: Not at all. He’s a very slow writer. So, he gets frustrated that homework takes as long as it does. And he seems to have trouble thinking of a lot of the details you’re asking for. And he’s always struggled with spelling. Last year’s teacher told us not to worry about the spelling. But Rickey doesn’t seem to be able to do that. So, I don’t know whether to forget about it or work on it. I wouldn’t know how to work on it anyway! And I end up doing a lot of the writing for him.
TEACHER: Yes, I’ve noticed the slow writing part, and the difficulty he has coming up with details, and his troubles with spelling. How about math?
MOTHER: He breezes right through it. Very little writing, very little spelling, and not the kind of details he has trouble with.
TEACHER: Well, then, let’s take our problems one at a time. Of course, I’ve only had Rickey in my class for about four weeks now, so I can’t say I have a perfect handle on his difficulties or what we should do about them. And I have begun working with Rickey on these problems myself, so I’m in the midst of trying to gather some information from him, too. But I’m not one for having kids spend two hours on homework every night, and I’m certainly not one for having homework cause problems between kids and their parents. Of course, I’m not always aware that those problems exist, so I appreciate your honesty.
MOTHER: I’m not shy about letting people know what’s going on with Rickey. I just wish we were seeing more progress on the problems he’s having.
TEACHER: The thing is, we’re going to need to get Rickey involved in the homework discussion, too. Even if you and I come up with brilliant solutions, they won’t be so brilliant if he’s not on board with them. So maybe we should use this discussion to make sure we have a clear sense of the problems we need to get solved. One problem is the amount of time homework is consuming. Yes?
MOTHER: Yes!
TEACHER: But it sounds like a lot of that time is spent being frustrated over what to work on and how you can help, so that’s something we’ll need to get solved, too.
MOTHER: Absolutely.
TEACHER: I’m not convinced that Rickey can’t get better at spelling, so I’m disinclined to tell you that we should drop it altogether. Plus, as you said, Rickey doesn’t seem able to drop it. So spelling is an unsolved problem. And slow writing is an unsolved problem. And fleshing out the details is an unsolved problem. And I know you’re doing a lot of the writing for him, but we don’t want him getting the idea that he doesn’t need to do any of the writing.
MOTHER: Aren’t you overwhelmed by all this?
TEACHER: No, I actually find that sorting through unsolved problems helps me be less overwhelmed. At least I know what needs to be addressed.
MOTHER: I see what you mean.
TEACHER: Any other unsolved problems related to homework?
MOTHER: Well, he has hockey practice two nights a week, so sometimes he’s really tired when it’s time for homework. Those are our really tough nights.
TEACHER: I can imagine. So, we have some work to do, don’t we?
MOTHER: It appears so.
TEACHER: Here’s what I’m thinking. If it’s OK with you, why don’t we meet again within the next week, but next time let’s include Rickey in the meeting. Then we can start talking about how these problems can be solved, one at a time.
What’s the solution to the writing problem? The spelling problem? The details problem? The hockey practice problem? That’s for Rickey, his mom, and his teacher to figure out. There are dozens of possibilities. There’s no such thing as a “right” or “wrong” solution—only solutions that are realistic and mutually satisfactory.
Q & A
QUESTION: I’m a teacher, and I’m a little worried about having different sets of expectations for different kids. If I let one kid get away with something, won’t my other students try to get away with it as well?
ANSWER: Plan B isn’t about letting students get away with something. Teachers have different expectations for different students already. That’s what initiatives like differentiated instruction, personalized learning, and universal design are all about (not to mention special education laws).
QUESTION: Does Plan B undermine a teacher’s authority with the other kids in the class?
ANSWER: No, it doesn’t. The other kids are watching closely. If a teacher intervenes in a way that solves the problems that are causing concerning behaviors, they have done nothing to undermine their authority with the other kids.
QUESTION: Is it really fair to expect teachers—who are not trained as mental health professionals—to solve all these problems with their students?
ANSWER: A mental health degree is not a prerequisite for solving problems collaboratively. Most mental health professionals don’t have training in solving problems collaboratively either.
QUESTION: I was using Plan B with a student in my class and things seemed to be going well for a few weeks but then deteriorated again. What happened?
ANSWER: It could be that the solution you and the student agreed on wasn’t as realistic and mutually satisfactory as it originally seemed. That’s not a sign that you should revert back to Plan A. It’s a sign that you need to go back to Plan B to figure out why the solution didn’t work as well as anticipated and come up with a revised solution.
QUESTION: Are there some students who are so volatile and unstable that academics should be de-emphasized until things are calmer?
ANSWER: Yes. Some kids simply aren’t “available” for academic learning until factors that are impeding their learning—and perhaps stability—have been addressed. Plunging forward with expectations a student clearly can’t meet is usually an exerci
se in futility and often results in detentions, suspensions, expulsions, paddling, restraints, and seclusions.
QUESTION: What if Plan B isn’t working? What then?
ANSWER: This is a more interesting question than it might seem, and the answer depends on your definition of the word working. For many people, working refers only to the ultimate destination, the point at which a problem is finally durably solved. But there are many ways in which Plan B is “working” before the ultimate destination is reached. Plan B is working if adults are viewing a kid’s difficulties more accurately and more compassionately. It’s working if adults are effectively gathering information about a kid’s concerns on a given problem and finally achieving an understanding of what’s been getting in the kid’s way. It’s working if the kid is able to listen to adult concerns and take them into account. Plan B is working if the kid is no longer viewing adults as “the enemy.” It’s working if the kid is participating in discussions about how a given problem can be solved in a way that addresses the concerns of both parties. Plan B is even working if it’s not going so well but the kid and adults haven’t broken off discussions and are resolved to keep trying. Yes, the ultimate definition of working is that a problem is solved and is no longer causing concerning behaviors. But, sometimes, there are a lot of things that are working before that happens.
QUESTION: But are there some students who need more than what can be provided in a general education setting, even if people are using Plan B?
ANSWER: Yes, there are. But wouldn’t it be interesting to see how many students still needed more than what could be provided in general education settings if more general education settings were using Plan B? That question aside, there are some kids who need a larger “dose” of Plan B than can be provided in schools and outpatient settings, kids who continue to behave in an unsafe manner at home, at school, and/or in the community. Many start a downward spiral early, become increasingly alienated, begin exhibiting more serious forms of concerning behavior, and begin to hang out with other children who have come down a similar path. After all else has been tried—therapy, medication, perhaps even alternative day-school placements—what many of these kids ultimately need is a change of environment. A new start. A way to begin working on a new identity. Once alienation and deviance become a kid’s identity, things are a lot harder to turn around. Fortunately, there are some outstanding therapeutic day schools and residential facilities in the United States that do an exceptional job of working with such kids.
The Explosive Child Page 16