“She did?”
“Yes, Quill. She loves you. Please give her a chance.”
“They got a divorce because of me?”
“No. They got a divorce because Romano Chavez took you away from them, and she couldn’t handle it. None of it was your fault. You were three.”
Aquilla took a deep breath. Her heart felt heavy all of a sudden and she wasn’t sure how she felt anymore. She worked better being stone cold toward her mother and Reese. She didn’t want to like them, be close to them or be their friend. She didn’t want to hurt them either.
“I don’t know how, Mo,” she honestly spoke.
Monica smiled a warm smile, feeling like maybe she had just chipped away a little of the stone wall Aquilla had built.
“Spend some time with her, Quill. Go out to eat and to the movies with her tonight. Stop trying to push her away. You don’t have to talk about anything you don’t want to talk about. I’ve already coached her on what I think are going to be sore spots with you.”
“Really? And what is your conception of my sore spots?”
“Julius for one. I’ve explained to her that just because she feels that it is wrong that you think you love him, doesn’t mean that it is wrong, and that she wasn’t there. She doesn’t know. Your father is another one. She is aware that just because he took you from her, doesn’t mean that you didn’t love him, and that he didn’t give you a good life that you miss.”
“I don’t want Seri to leave me.”
“Honey, Seri is not your rock. Seri has her own problems. Let your mother fill those shoes.”
“I don’t know if I can, Mo,” Aquilla admitted with watery eyes, looking over to her.
“You don’t have to do anything, Quill. Just take that first step. The next one will follow. I promise.”
“What if it doesn’t?”
“How about you take the first one and worry about the next one when you need to. Better yet. Don’t worry about it at all. Just open up to your mother and see where it takes you.”
“I’m still going to find Julius and get out of here as soon as I can,” she assured her.
“Baby steps, Quill.”
Aquilla knew that meant to see where this took her before she decided to do that. She knew that Monica was hoping that she would realize that she wanted to be there with her family and that Julius was bad for her.
Chapter 14
Aquilla tried not to show her impressiveness over the massive movie screen and the surround sound in the theater. She even turned her head a couple of times, looking for a window. The thunderstorm flowing around the cinema felt so real. Wow. She really was sheltered. She couldn’t help but be excited. She may have picked a better movie had she known this one was about a drug cartel. She fought her whirling mind the whole time, trying to keep her attention on the movie while the scenes reminded her of the home she left behind.
The sidewalk was dark by the time the two of them exited the building.
“Want to get ice cream?” Liz asked, as they walked down the sidewalk.
“Sure. You know the last time I had ice cream was the day that our home was raided and my father was killed and Julius ran,” Aquilla shared for whatever reason.
Liz had to bite her bottom lip to keep from reminding her that he wasn’t her father. “I can’t imagine how hard that was for you, Quill. I’m sorry all of this has happened to you. I wish I could change it.”
“My father used to tell me that everything happens for a reason. Do you believe that?” Quill asked, looking over to her mother.
“No. I can’t really say that I do. I spent years thinking that. It drove me nuts. My father too, used to say that same thing. I spent many waken nights trying to figure out what I had done. If things happened the way they did for a reason, than I had to have done something really bad. ‘Cognitive dissonance,’ that’s the only thing I think I took from my own years of therapy.”
“What’s that?” Aquilla asked.
“It’s where an individual's behavior conflicts with beliefs that are integral to his or her self-identity.”
“Uh?” Aquilla mumbled, not understanding the foreign language.
“Take a smoker. They smoke, which is the behavior, but yet they know that it causes cancer, which is the cognition. I was what you might call a smoker.”
“You have asthma. Why would you smoke?”
“No, not really, I’ve never smoked. I’m just using it as an example. My behavior of some of the things that I did after you were taken, were sort of like that. I knew my actions were causing major turmoil on my family, yet I did it anyway.”
“Like leaving Reese?”
“Monica tell you about
“Yeah, but don’t be mad at her. She’s only trying to help.”
“Yes. Like leaving Reese,” Liz admitted, holding the door for Aquilla to enter the ice cream shop.
“Do you want to eat in here or just keep walking?”
“We can walk. It’s nice out.”
“Hey, I know you. You’re that pretty famous girl that was all over the news last week,” the young man at the counter smiled. “How are you? I hope you are doing okay,” he stated, sincerely.
“Yes. I’m fine. Thank you for asking,” Aquilla smiled back.
“What can I get for you two lovely ladies this evening?”
“I’ll have a small strawberry cone,” Aquilla replied.
“Make that two,” Liz added.
They waited while the cute boy fixed their cones. Aquilla noticed a table of four young people about her age, looking at her as they whispered around the table.
“Here you go. They’re on the house,” the boy said, handing over the cones with a Colgate smile.
“Thank you,” they said simultaneously.
“You know that boy was flirting with you, don’t you?” Liz teased as they walked.
“Shit. I would hurt that little boy_____. Crap. Sorry,” Aquilla said with a skewed face.
Liz couldn’t help but laugh, although she didn’t want to think about what she knew Aquilla was talking about. “It’s okay,” Liz assured her, placing her arm around her shoulder and pulling her in for a hug. She dropped it immediately, remembering Monica’s advice about giving her space.
“You can touch me,” Aquilla offered, catching it too.
Liz didn’t put her arm around her again, and instead, smiled and moved her hair from the front to her back.
“I’m sorry that you had to go through this too,” Aquilla offered, still unable to call her mom. It just didn’t feel right to her.
Liz smiled, happy with the night’s progress.
Aquilla did feel like they had moved a step closer, feeling like maybe some of the weight had been lifted from her shoulders as she crawled into her bed alone that night. She wondered what Seri and Monica were doing, and wished she were there with them.
She dreaded the days ahead, knowing that Seri had to leave her. She wasn’t looking forward to not having her around. She knew it was crazy and didn’t really expect her to just move in with her at her mother’s house. It was still a nice wish though.
Aquilla pulled the laptop closer and began to read. She didn’t read about anything too emotional and it was mostly happy, memory lane talk. She decided to close out of it when she felt his emotions changing to a deeper topic. She was happy. She had a good day, and she was smiling, remembering the things that they had done together. She didn’t want to go to bed sad.
<><><>
By eleven o’clock, both Seri and Monica were well on their way to being drunk. They hooked up with a couple of locals, and flirted their asses off while the four of them shot pool tog
“You ladies here on business?” the guy who had introduced himself as Vince asked, as he sent the 3 ball straight into the corner pocket.
“Something like that,” Seri answered.
“Where you staying?” he asked, sending another ball right where he aimed it to go.
“At that little div
e down the street, Crimson Inn, I think it was called,” she answered. “You guys live around here?”
“Yup, born and raised,” he answered, missing the next ball and handing the pool stick to Seri. She stood close and purposely touched his hand with hers as he smiled down at her.
Yup, he would do just fine. He was fucking hot and smelled amazing.
By midnight, they were back in their room with the two hot guys tangled in their webs.
“You girls want to burn one?” Vince asked, sitting on one of the queen beds.
“Hell yeah,” Monica answered.
Vince pulled out his bag and twisted a joint. He looked up to Seri, pulling the gun from the back of her jeans and placing it in the hotel safe.
“You carry a gun? You a fucking cop or something?” he asked, alarmed.
“Nope,” she answered with only that, sitting beside him and taking the joint from between his fingers. He held the lighter up and lit it for her.
The four of them sat on the edges of the beds, facing each other, smoking the joint. They exchanged trivial conversation until Vince snuffed the bud out on his beer can. Seri moved back on her elbows and unbuttoned her jeans. His eyes shot up in shock.
“Are we really doing this?” Hot damn, this was his lucky day.
Seri raised her eyebrows as she slipped the zipper down.
“In front of them?” he asked with his thumb.
“Monica’s seen me fuck before. You got a problem with that?”
“Uh-uh,” he replied, moving up her body to kiss her. She turned her head, letting him kiss her on her neck. She wasn’t interested in being intimate with him. She had an agenda and it didn’t involve trading saliva.
She slid her jeans and panties over her hips and closed her eyes as his fingers found her aching nub.
“Hmmm, go down on me,” she moaned.
He looked to see his friend and her friend still sitting on the side of the bed watching. Fuck. This girl was fucking crazy. Yup, she was no doubt crazy, he decided, watching her pull her legs up, opening them and exposing her fucking hot as hell naked pussy. He dazedly moved between her legs. She didn’t even give a shit that they were being watched. And holy shit did she taste as good as she looked.
Seri turned her eyes with a smile when she heard Monica moan from the bed beside them. Her new friend was also between her legs, causing her to squirm.
Thirty minutes later, they were kicking the men out, both satisfied.
“Do you even know what that guy’s name was?” Seri asked as she tossed the condom wrappers to the trash.
“No. Who cares,” Monica replied, pulling on her panties.
“True,” Seri agreed, crawling into her bed.
Seri’s mind went to none other than Quill as she stared at the dingy ceiling. Why was this girl having such an effect on her? She worried about leaving her. It was probably dumb, and she was reading more into it than she needed to. She couldn’t help it. She felt obligated or something.
<><><>
The next three days were okay. Aquilla continued to talk to Monica about her relationship with her mother, and Aquilla tried to be more open. Seri had spent three days trying to get into Julius’s computer to no avail. It was really starting to piss her off. Aquilla pissed her off even more with her smartass smirks because she couldn’t figure it out.
“Give it up, Seri. You’re just not as smart as I am.”
“Just tell me what it is, Quill.”
“No. That wasn’t the deal. I decrypted it. Just admit that you are not as smart as you think you are.”
“I’ll make you a deal.”
“A deal?”
“Yeah, you tell me what it is and I will give you the story of how Monica and I ended up working for the FBI.”
“You told me you would tell me that anyway. That’s not really a deal.”
“Please, Quill. It’s my job. I have to get on this laptop. I didn’t tell Houston about it, did I? He would have already had it in his hands if he knew you had it.”
“And I would never talk to you again. It’s personal, Seri, stuff that Julius wrote to me.”
“Quill, don’t you think the two of us have been through enough together for you to trust that I would never judge you, and I already know how you feel about him?”
“I don’t think you do, not really.”
“Then let me read it, and try to understand.”
“I haven’t read it all yet. I’m afraid there is something in there that will tell you where he is, and you’ll go after him.”
How did she reply to that? She was right. She would go after him, in a heartbeat. There was no doubt that she wanted to bring Julius Chavez to his knees.
“Okay. How about this; I will read it with you and if you feel as though he is about to reveal that information, you can move ahead to where I can’t read that part.”
“There is some pretty fucked up shit in there,” Aquilla warned.
“My whole life has been pretty fucked up. I’m sure I can keep up.”
“And you still have to tell me your story,” Aquilla required, giving in.
“I will.”
Aquilla took the laptop and typed the two passwords to let her on. “I have to go over to my grandparents and meet a bunch of aunts and uncles or some shit. I have a book mark where I left off. I doubt you will get that far. I’m not going to be gone that long, but if you get there, you have to stop.”
“I promise,” Seri said, taking the laptop.
“And this is between you and me? Not Monica, my mom, Houston, nobody, just you and me,” Aquilla advised.
“Okay, Quill. I get it. Go eat hotdogs with your family.”
“Yuck. I’m not eating a hotdog.”
Seri spent two full hours reading the words of Julius. She wiped tears more than once, laughed at the innocent way he loved Quill, and had her heart ripped to shreds when she read about some of the things Julius had been through. She couldn’t imagine seeing her mother and sister crushed beneath a car, and then leaving them.
The thought of a 12 year old boy being forced to train grown women was sick. It twisted her stomach in knots. When she read about the way he took care of Quill, and how he nurtured her, she felt her original perception of him was skewed. He was thrown into the life of drugs and chattels at a very young age. He really didn’t have a choice on the way he turned out or the things that he did. She also knew that even though he was somewhat of a pervert, he fought his feelings for Quill extremely hard and tried to keep them in check. He lost. He loved her and Seri could now see that without blinders.
“Are you still reading?” Quill asked after her very long, annoying introduction to the rest of the family.
“Yeah,” Seri said in a sad tone, closing the laptop.
“What’s wrong?”
“Nothing, Quill, I won’t go after him. I promise.”
Aquilla smiled. “He’s not the bad guy that you thought he was, is he?”
“No, Quill. He’s not. He was just as much a victim as you were.”
“Can you understand now why I am so determined to find him?”
“I can, but I still don’t know if that is such a good idea. He’s always going to be on the radar, Quill. I want you to have a normal life. You deserve that.”
“I don’t want that, Seri,” Quill explained, sitting on the end of the bed with her head down. “I’ve never had a normal life. We’ve always lived on the radar. It’s what I know. It’s what I’m used to. Can you understand that?” she asked, lifting her eyes to Seri’s.
“I’m trying, Quill.”
“Will you help me, Seri?”
“Quill, I___,”
“You don’t have to go with me, just help me track him down. You did it once,” Quill interrupted.
“And it took me almost a year.”
“I have almost a year before I will really be 18.”
“I’m not making any promises.”
“Promises about what?” Monica asked, walki
ng in.
“That I will talk to her mom about her coming to stay with me for a week before school starts,” Seri lied.
“Whoa, I’m still not going to some fucking high school with a bunch of drama infested teenagers,” Aquilla assured them both.
“You’re a teenager, Quill,” Monica reminded her, plopping beside her.
“But, I’m more like a 25 year old teenager. Reese and Lil drive me crazy.”
Monica and Seri laughed, but knew she spoke the truth. She was way beyond her age of 17.
“Hey! Let’s smoke a joint!” Aquilla exclaimed excited.
“NO!!!” Monica and Seri both yelled at the exact same moment.
“Geesh, alright, alright, I get it.”
“Come on. We have to go sit by the fire with your family,” Monica lured the two.
“Great, are you sure we can’t smoke some of that first?”
“You stay away from weed. I think you’re allergic to it or something,” Seri teased, ruffling her hair. She felt even more compelled to be there for her now after reading her secrets. Nobody could understand Julius without reading that, let alone comprehend Quill’s feelings for him.
Aquilla liked her Aunt Kerri, and her Uncle Jake was funnier than shit. It wasn’t near as bad as she thought it was going to be. Of course, she did have Monica and Seri there for refuge too. That probably helped.
“You should go get your flute and play something for us, Kerri,” her grandpa urged.
“You play the flute?” Quill asked.
“Yeah, a little,” she replied modestly.
“She plays more than a little. She played for the New York Philharmonic for three years,” her Uncle Jake boasted.
“You did?!” Aquilla asked, excited. She would love to see the New York Philharmonic in concert.
“Do you like orchestra?” Keri asked surprised.
“Yeah, and I love to hear the flute. Play something for us,” Quill begged.
Aquilla’s cousin Samantha ran to her car and got the flute. Aquilla was astounded. Her Aunt was amazing. It was beautiful. Seri and Monica watched Quill get lost in the melodramatic melody. Neither of them pictured Quill to be into that sort of music, let alone the flute.
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