Eight Years: A Novel (Trident Trilogy: Book One)

by Donna Schwartze

  Not moving, I stare at the blood on my hand when Mason is suddenly there. He kneels in front of me. “Hey. You okay? Here. Look at me. Look right in my eyes. That’s good. Now breathe. You’re okay. Just breathe.” He’s talking so fast.

  “Ty!” I hear him yell.

  Then Ty’s kneeling in front of me, too.

  “She’s in shock,” Mason says.

  Nailed it, I think to myself, or I might have said it out loud.

  Ty and now Bryce have gotten me out of my belt and are basically carrying me back to the medical area. They lay me down on a stretcher. Ty is putting something on the area that hurts on my head. Trying to stop the bleeding, I guess.

  “Hey Mills, focus on me for a second. Okay? Here I am. Over here,” Bryce says.

  Yes, I see you, Bryce. You’re like a foot from my face. Again, I’m not sure if I’m saying that out loud or just thinking it. His face looks blurry.

  “Hey. You’re okay. We’re all okay. We’re back in the plane, headed home. Ty is just fixing up a few scratches you have on your head. No big deal. You’re fine. Okay?”

  I think I’m nodding at him, but to make sure, I eek out, “Okay.”

  He sits down beside the stretcher, his hand resting on my shoulder. Ty seems to be done doing what ever he was doing. My head hurts, but it doesn’t feel like it’s leaking anymore. I close my eyes for what feels like a minute, but when I wake up, I realize it’s been more than that. Ty and Bryce are gone. Mason has taken their place. He’s sitting with his back against my stretcher, head down, sleeping.

  I feel more focused now. I try to remember what happened, and it all comes roaring back. The hike down the mountain, Haroun Hadzic, the interrogation, the firefight, the helicopter out, and then blank. I shake my head a little, trying to remember, but it’s not there. I suddenly remember what Haroun said to me about Yusef being in Sarajevo, and it comes crashing back to me why I’m on this trip. I need to get to my computer and start a target package for Yusef.

  I sit up gently so I won’t wake Mason, but he springs up the second I move.

  “Whoa, whoa, Mills. Where are you going? Lay back down.” He’s trying to gently push me back on the stretcher.

  “No, I’m fine. I need to work.”

  “Millie, there’s plenty of time to work. You need to be still.”

  I manage to sit up on the stretcher without him pushing me back down. I notice his hands at the ready in case I get dizzy.

  “Mason, I’m fine. I need to get up.” I start to get off the table, and he grabs my shoulders to steady me, making sure I’m not going to fall over.

  “I can stand. I’m good,” I insist.

  “Come over here with me for a second,” he says as his hand makes it to my lower back, pushing me toward a seat away from the medical area.

  “Sit down. Let me check you out.”

  It’s not a request, so I sit. He runs me through a battery of tests, mainly testing my eyes and my focus. I pass.

  “Okay, let’s just sit here for a second. Make sure you’re good,” he says as he sits down beside me. “Do you remember what happened?”

  “Yeah. Mostly. I don’t remember getting from the helicopter to the plane.”

  “Yeah, you fainted when you were getting out of the helo. I carried you in here.”

  “I fainted? Wow. I’m so sorry.”

  “Why are you sorry you fainted? It’s not your fault. Just kind of happens.”

  “Have you ever fainted on a mission? Or any of the guys?”

  “Mills, we’re trained operators. We do this every day. We’re used to it. Most people haven’t been in a full-out firefight. You did good.”

  “I didn’t do anything.”

  “You did what you were told, and in that situation, that’s all we expect of you.”

  “I could have gotten you all killed.”

  “Nothing you did endangered our lives. I asked you to do exactly what we told you to do, and that’s what you did. That was perfect.”

  “I’ve never even been shot at, much less that,” I say more quietly than I intended.

  “You did good, Millie. We got the information we went in for, and we all got back safe. It’s a good day.”

  Chapter Twenty-Six

  Mason

  Virginia Beach, Virginia

  2019

  After we land, I see her walking out toward her car with her keys in her hand. I follow her.

  “You’re not driving yourself home.” I grab her keys out of her hands before she can react.

  “I feel fine now. Just a little headache, but I’m okay to drive.” She holds out her hand, expecting me to return the keys. I don’t.

  “I just need to dump my gear, and then I’ll take you home.” I walk away without looking back, her keys still in my pocket.

  Ty walks over to me. “Mase, she probably needs to stay at the hospital tonight. She has a pretty bad concussion. She’ll need to be monitored.”

  “I’ll stay at her place tonight. I’ll do the concussion protocol.” Ty stops. I know what he’s thinking.

  “Maybe not the best idea, man.” Ty’s the quietest person I’ve ever met, but man, he’s an observer. He always knows what’s going on.

  “It’s not a problem.” I lock eyes with him as I pass. He shrugs. He’s not going to question me twice. Never does. None of them do. That’s what makes them great operators.

  After I dump my stuff in my locker, I go back out to the parking lot to find her sitting on her car hood, hugging her knees, her head in her lap.

  “Millie, you okay?” I rub her back lightly.

  She bolts upright when she feels my hand on her back. Sitting up so quickly makes her dizzy, and she starts swaying.

  “Easy, slugger,” I say as I steady her and help her down from the car. I put my arm around her shoulders and lead her over to my truck. She doesn’t try to shake my arm off. I’m not sure she has the energy.

  When we get to her hotel, I lift her down out of the truck and follow her to her door. I still have her keys, so I unlock the door. She walks in, turns around, and looks up at me as she starts closing her door. “Thanks for driving me home, Mason. I appreciate it.”

  I block the door gently with my hand. “Millie, I’m not leaving. I’m staying here tonight. You have a concussion. I need to check you a few times during the night to make sure your symptoms don’t get worse.”

  I’ve already walked in, and closed the door. I look back at her. She’s still in the clothes she wore the night before. She’s dirty and blood-stained. And, she looks like she hasn’t slept in a month.

  “Millie, why don’t you take a shower, and get some fresh clothes on?”

  She looks down at herself, and runs her hand across the blood stain on her shirt like she’s just starting to remember what happened last night.

  “You okay?” I’m half expecting her to break down, but she just nods, and heads back to her bedroom. “Yell at me if you need help. I’m going to make us something to eat.”

  I walk to the kitchen as quickly as possible so I won’t be any further tempted to follow her into the shower. Not like this, man. Not when she’s this weak.

  I hear the shower starting, and walk into her bedroom to find her clothes on the floor. I pick them up and open the closet to find a dirty clothes bag. Her robe is hanging on the closet door. It’s blue with white, fluffy sheep all over it. It’s perfectly her, and it makes me smile. Against my better judgment, I decide to take the robe to her. I turn the bathroom handle. Locked. That makes me smile. I breach doors for a living, Millie.

  The shower turns off as I enter the bathroom. “Hey, I brought your robe in for you,” I say softly. I don’t want to scare her.

  She peeks around the shower curtain looking at me confused, but not mad. I know what she’s thinking.

  �
��I picked the lock,” I say. “The training comes in handy sometimes.”

  “Well, at least you didn’t kick it down,” she says as she takes the robe. “Wait, this robe is warm. Did you put it in the dryer first?”

  I’m suddenly embarrassed. I don’t really get that way much. “Umm, I mean, yeah, I thought you’d like it warm.”

  She pulls open the shower curtain, now fully wrapped in the white, fluffy sheep robe. “Look at you,” she says. “All this alpha male bullshit, and you’re actually a cream puff underneath.”

  “I don’t know what a cream puff is, but I’m going to guess I’m definitely not that.” I give her my hand to help her step out of the bathtub. She takes it.

  I stand there for a second, not letting go of her hand. She looks so soft and vulnerable right now. God, it’s killing me. Snap out of it. Not like this, I tell myself again. I let go of her hand and walk out of the bathroom. “Are you hungry? I couldn’t find much in your refrigerator, but I can make us some pasta or something.”

  When I turn around, she’s followed me out. “I’m just really tired. Is it okay if I just sleep?” She’s made her way over to the bed and is crawling under the sheets. I follow her and help her pull the blankets up around her. She looks up at me, covered up to her chin with blankets, looking so small in her big king-size bed. “Mase, you really don’t have to stay here. I’m fine. I feel fine.”

  “I’m going to stay. I’ll wake you up in a few hours to check on you. Okay?”

  “Okay,” she whispers already half asleep. I sit on the side of the bed, watching her sleep for a few minutes. I don’t know what I’m feeling, but I’ve definitely never felt it before. It’s not just lust. I mean it is that. God, I want to be with her. But, it’s not just that. I want to hold her, protect her. I want to talk to her, laugh with her. I just want to be near her.

  I finally break myself away from her in the bedroom. I fix myself something to eat and watch SportsCenter. By the time I’m done, it’s been two hours. I need to wake her up and check on her. I brush the mass of wet strawberry-blonde curls away from her face. She’s sound asleep. I shake her gently. “Millie,” I say softly.

  She opens her eyes, sleepy and confused. “Hey,” she manages to say as she tries to sit up. I pull her up gently. As I do, the blanket falls down, and I notice the robe has slipped down over her shoulders. I can’t stop staring. It’s beautiful. She’s beautiful, and seeing what I’m seeing, I just want to rip the rest of the robe off and see what else it’s hiding. Not like this, I repeat over and over in my mind while I quickly adjust her robe back onto her shoulders. She’s so out of it, she doesn’t even register what happened.

  “Hey, Mills, I need to turn on the light to look at your eyes and make sure you’re still focusing okay.”

  “Okay,” she say sweetly. She’s slowly starting to remember what’s going on.

  I take her through a short battery of concussion tests and ask her a few questions. She nails them all. “Good job,” I say. “You can go back to sleep.”

  “Okay,” she says looking up at me. “Are you staying here all night? Where are you going to sleep?”

  “I’ll sleep on the couch.”

  “I can’t even stretch out on that couch fully. There’s no way you’ll be able to.”

  “Believe me, I’ve slept in more uncomfortable places,” I say.

  “Mason, just sleep in the bed. There’s plenty of room. It’s not a big deal.” She flips over her pillow and snuggles back into the blankets.

  I sit there again for a few minutes looking at her, and then take off my shoes, and my shirt, and lay down on the bed. I still have a T-shirt and pants on, and I’m above the blankets. I intend to stay that way. Not like this, not like this, I repeat in my head as I fall asleep.

  I wake up with a jolt. It takes me a second to remember where I am. I look at my phone. It says I’ve been asleep for four hours. I find that hard to believe. I never sleep more than an hour or so at a time. I look over, and Millie is still sleeping peacefully. I roll over to face her and gently touch her shoulder.

  “Millie, you need to wake up again.”

  She opens her eyes, this time more aware of where she is. “Hey, do we have to do the tests again?”

  “Probably not. You seem to know what’s going on now. How do you feel?”

  “Better. My head doesn’t really hurt anymore.”

  “That’s good. Do you feel dizzy or nauseous?”

  “I don’t think so, just kind of tired still.”

  “Okay, you sound good. You can go back to sleep. You should be okay until morning, babe.” I try to catch myself before it comes out, but it’s too late.

  Even in the darkness, I can see her eyes widening. “Babe?” she says softly.

  “Millie. . .” I scoot a little closer to her, and put my hand on her hip. “Millie, come on, you have to know how I feel about you.”

  I want to look away from her, but I can’t. I have the feeling with that one word, I’ve just blown the operation I’ve been working on for weeks.

  She puts her hand lightly on my chest. “Mason, we work together. We live in different cities. We have crazy schedules. I have feelings for you, too, but it could never work.”

  “And, you have a boyfriend,” I say turning over on my back, looking at the ceiling. I’m not sure why I brought him up.

  “Yeah,” she says as if she’d forgotten that part. “Either way, Mason, you and I could never work.”

  “It could. We could figure it out,” I say, not really even believing it myself. I roll back over to face her. “Millie, I didn’t want to talk to you about this tonight. You just need to get some rest. Forget I said anything. We can talk about it later if you want to.”

  She scoots toward me, and turns until she’s spooned into me. I wrap both of my arms around her. We don’t say anything else. We just fall asleep like that. I wake up, and it’s light out. I look at my phone again. Another five hours. I haven’t slept five hours straight since I was a kid. I don’t want to let go of her, but I know I need to get back to the base. I’m already late.

  I’m hungry again, and I know she hasn’t eaten in at least a day, so I text JJ and tell him I’m going to be late. He won’t question it. She’s still sleeping soundly when I finish making the eggs, so I sit at the kitchen counter to eat my breakfast first before I wake her. As I’m finishing, I hear her coming up behind me quietly. I’m guessing she knows it’s impossible to sneak up on me. I turn the stool around. She’s standing there in my shirt. Only my shirt. Oh fuck. I think I’m really going to be late.

  She walks up between my legs, and puts her hands on my thighs. I pull her into me, one hand on her back, and the other one buried in her hair. Her lips part just as mine touch down and her arms climb up my body until they circle around my neck. She’s pressed hard against my body, but I keep trying to pull her closer. I want her to be part of me. I want to be inside her. I’m just about to pick her up, and carry her back to bed, when my phone beeps. Fuck you. I ignore it. It beeps again.

  She pulls back first. Her cheeks are flush. “You have to see what it is,” she says.

  She’s right. I check. Emergency call from the base. I’m needed there immediately. For the first time since I enlisted, I want to quit. Right here. Right now.

  “Go,” she says.

  “Millie.”

  “Mason, I know better than anyone what your job is. Go. You’re needed. We’ll talk later. I’m good. Really, I am.”

  I leave with her still standing there in my shirt. All I can think about is getting back there. Getting back to her. Getting back to the place we left off.

  “Be careful,” I hear her say as I close the door.

  Chapter Twenty-Seven

  Virginia Beach, Virginia

  2011

  “You’re not going to wear that out of this house!”
Camille was trying her best to keep up with Millie’s long strides. “Why can’t you dress decently? Everyone knows you’re my granddaughter. They’ll talk about us!”

  Millie whipped around to face Camille. At sixteen, she had long past reached her breaking point with her grandmother. “It’s a T-shirt, Camille. A T-shirt. Settle down.”

  “A T-shirt with the devil’s V right there in front.” Camille formed a V with two fingers, waving them accusingly in the air at Millie’s barely exposed cleavage.

  “Good God, you’re losing it.” Millie pushed the screen door extra hard so it would make the loudest sound possible when it slammed.

  “I’m going to tell your dad about this—taking the Lord’s name in vain while you’re dressed like that,” Camille said to the door.

  Millie got in her car and took a deep breath. It’s the only place she felt at peace anymore. Mack had bought her the car for just that reason. He knew she’d have to escape the house regularly just as he had at that age. She put the car in reverse quickly just in case Camille tried to chase her out of the house. She’d done it before, and she was only getting crazier with age. Beatrice told Millie years ago that Camille had gotten pregnant with Mack when she was a teenager. She said Camille was just trying to prevent Millie from ending up with the same fate. But they both knew Camille was only worried about Camille, and about saving her own reputation.

  Most days, Millie didn’t know how she’d make it sixty more days until Mack retired. They were planning to move to San Diego right after her graduation. She couldn’t wait to finally be free of Camille. Two more months, Millie thought as she eased the car onto the highway. With this heat, being on the highway was the only way she could get enough of a breeze through the windows to cool off. The old VW’s air conditioner had stopped working years ago, if it had ever worked at all, and the car’s black seats made it especially oppressive. But, it was a car, and a car meant freedom.

  Millie was lost in her thoughts when she saw the sign: “Virginia Beach, Next Four Exits.” She spun her head around to make sure she was seeing it right. Somehow, she’d driven an hour without even registering where she was going. She’d never been to visit her dad once in Virginia Beach. He’d always come home when he had free time, even if it was just for a few hours. Millie found herself taking the exit that pointed toward the naval base. He’d come to see her the day he got back from deployment, and she knew he’d be back down over the weekend, but she felt something pulling her closer and closer to the base until she was driving to the guarded entrance.