“Before the fight began today, Darius told me we were missing something. Garreth could have pressed his attack as we retreated many times but didn’t. He allowed our reinforcements to join us and never struck when he had the advantage.
“Once Meglar turned Garreth and his army into Chamdon, however, it made sense. He had no more use for them. This battle was the reason Meglar recruited Garreth to attack the other princes.”
Farrell nodded. “This was a distraction.”
“It was, but it didn’t work out how he’d planned,” Kel said. “He meant to weaken our corps of wizards. But once Farrell killed Qurol, we defeated his army with minimal casualties. More, Rastoria, Dumbarten, and Ze’arder have sent us reinforcements. And because He Who Protects traveled with us, the Shaman and She Who Guides were able to warn us of the true threat. Far from demoralizing, distracting, and defeating the west, Meglar has helped us prepare.”
Kel’s optimism buoyed the spirits of the others as they discussed the next step. Troop movements and battle tactics weren’t Farrell’s strength, so he tuned them out. Miceral excelled at strategy and no one questioned his authority. That allowed Farrell a chance to rest.
“I echo Kel’s praise,” Nerti said a moment before her horn touched his shoulder. “You did very well.”
“I had a lot of help.”
“Yes, but it was your arrival that turned this fight into an easy victory. A fact Kel, Miceral, and your mother are pressing very hard.”
“Why?” He started to move, but Nerti pressed her horn against his shoulder.
“No. You will not stop them. Everyone knows you did not fight the battle alone. Those who do not know you well needed to see firsthand why you, not Kel, lead this war. Today’s effort shouted your fitness.”
Farrell decided it wasn’t worth the effort needed to stop them. Even arguing with Nerti required more energy than he wanted to use.
“Queen Nerti is correct.” Rothdin’s booming voice felt surprising soothing. “And I add my approval of your efforts. Qurol avoided my justice long enough. It gives me endless satisfaction and joy to know my sons avenged their uncle and not someone else.”
“I hope you expressed your pride to Grohl.” Farrell scanned the area and found his brother. He stood with a few other peregrines with his feathers out in a good way.
Rothdin laughed. “I am a wise being. I know which of my sons needed to hear my words first.”
The peregrines around Grohl reacted to something and Farrell smiled. “He finally has something to make Takala jealous. Killing Qurol will give him air above his brother even though he wasn’t chosen first.”
“And your Takala will not cede a speck of height to Grohl,” Rothdin said. “They have achieved a stalemate and that is good.”
It was good. He watched his brother recount their fight and felt a longing to go home. He’d not seen the children in over a month nor slept in his bed in the familiar surroundings of his rooms.
“Soon, Little One.” Nerti rested her head on his shoulder.
Reaching up with this left hand, he pressed their faces together. “I know. But I can still wish.”
“Those are still free.” She made no effort to pull away, so they stayed that way for a while.
Miceral finally glanced over. “Hi, handsome.”
His partner’s goofy smirk gave Farrell a warm feeling. “Hi yourself. I missed you, Ral. All of you.”
“We’ve missed you too. It will be good to have you home.”
Farrell nodded to avoid giving voice to the truth. This was the final push. No one told him, but he knew. He felt a need for resolution he’d not felt before he recovered the Blood.
“Do you think Neldin has told Meglar not to go to Gharaha?”
Nerti didn’t answer. He knew she’d heard him, so he gave her time to think. “I don’t know. If He thinks Meglar will win, He will encourage him to meet your challenge.”
“Agreed, but the Six want the fight to be there. They’ve told me repeatedly to have the fight there. Neldin is aware of the weapon we built.”
“To warn Meglar not to go would violate the rules.”
“Would it? How do we know what the rules are?” Not intending to sound so frustrated with Nerti, he paused to calm down. “The Six told me to fight Meglar at Gharaha. Why couldn’t Neldin tell him to fight me anywhere but there?”
“I can’t answer that. It would not make sense for the Six to give you directions you could not follow. I also see nothing that would prevent Neldin from giving a counter command to Meglar. So long as He doesn’t tell His Champion why he can’t go to Gharaha.”
Though he wanted an answer, he hadn’t expected she had one. No one did. No one except the Six, and They weren’t going to tell him.
FARRELL ENTERED their suite, and a wave of calm filled him. Home. He didn’t need to think as he moved about the familiar rooms. It was automatic, like breathing. Even the smell was distinctive.
Not that he’d tell Lisle the suite had any smell—none other than clean.
Miceral rubbed his back gently. “Glad to be home?”
“You’ve no idea.” He turned and kissed Miceral. The children were home, so they didn’t linger. “Let’s go find Geena and Bren.”
“That’s it?” Miceral feigned being devastated. “One tiny little kiss is all I get, but ‘oh, let’s go find the children’? I see where I rank.”
“You’ll get your welcome when they’re asleep.” He winked and nodded. “If you’re not happy then, you can complain.”
“Oh really?” Miceral moved closer in a way that didn’t help Farrell’s resolve. “What did you have planned?”
“Anything you wanted.”
“Everything?” Miceral raised his eyebrows.
Farrell snorted. “That too.”
“My wounds are healing already. How can I be injured when you give me such a gift?”
“Are you finished?” Farrell had to rein in his imagination. “Any more and I won’t be in any condition to let anyone see me.”
“Well in that case, I am.” He stepped back and took the saddlebag from Farrell. “They’ve been anxious for you to return. I don’t want to disappoint them.”
They walked back to the nursery, and the sound of kids’ chatter stopped him. “Is that Bren?”
Miceral smiled. “Yes, he’s grown quite a bit since you’ve been gone. He’s decided he likes to talk.”
When they entered, Geena and Bren dropped what they were doing and ran toward their parents. It took Farrell a moment to realize there were two distinct calls of “Papa.” He scooped them up and slid closer to Miceral so they could all be close.
“Did you teach Bren to speak this well?” he asked Geena.
“No, Papa. He learned on his own.”
“I’m free, Papa!” Bren held up two fingers.
Miceral reached over and pulled up another finger. “Three is this many.”
Bren looked at his fingers and then shoved them in Farrell’s face. “This many.”
A pang of regret hit Farrell. He’d missed his son’s birthday. He choked up and handed the children to Miceral.
“I’ll be right back.”
“Papa?” Geena’s voice held the concern he knew he’d hear.
“I’ll be right back, sweetie. Stay with Daddy.”
“Why is Papa so sad?” He heard her say it as he shut the door and clamped down on his emotions.
So stupid! He’d known better. Being away, he’d taken down the hard shell that prevented Geena from reading his feelings. It took more effort than he’d expected to pull everything in enough to block his emotions from her.
The door opened and Miceral slipped in. “What happened?”
“I… It’s…. I forgot to put my shield up.”
“I figured that, but what happened that you’re sad?”
He shrugged and tried to find the right words. Just thinking about it made his eyes water. “One of the purposes of the trip was to find the answer Arritisa
wanted.”
“I know. And….”
He took a deep breath but it didn’t help. “I missed his birthday, Ral. It might… be the last one… it might be the last one I’ll get to see.”
All the emotions of the trip broke through. He turned away to compose himself, but Miceral put his arms around him.
“What are you talking about?”
“The weapon, Ral. It’s probably going to require I sacrifice myself for it to work. That was what I needed to accept before She would give me the last Gift.”
“What? She told you that?”
He shook his head. “They never say things that clearly. But She wouldn’t give it to me until I told Her what I was willing to give up to get Her Gift. When I told Her ‘everything,’ She gave it to me.”
“That doesn’t mean She expects you to sacrifice yourself.”
“When I was in Bendar, She Who Guides and the Shaman tested me. They tricked me into believing I’d been sent to another world. The beings there tried to use a Door they’d corrupted to get into our world. If they’d succeeded, they’d be worse than Meglar.
“I stayed back to close their Door expecting to open a safe one to get home. They manipulated the dream so I had two options: sacrifice myself or give them an opening to our world. Only when I agreed to use my life force to kill the beings did the Bendari agree to follow me.
“What I did in that dream is what I’ll probably need to do to kill Meglar. Get him to Gharaha and use myself—all of me—to power the weapon.
“I was at peace with it. Someone might have to give their all so everyone can survive. But seeing the children and….” He shrugged again.
“Farrell, that was only a test. A dream.”
“Don’t, Ral.” He pushed back. “Don’t give yourself or me false hopes. It is the most likely outcome. Part of me always knew this was a possibility, but now I know it’s more.”
“No,” Miceral said and put his hands on Farrell’s upper arms. “I refuse to accept that. It doesn’t fit with what Jolella told me.”
“Told you? Jolella was here?”
“No. But before we left Agloth, she said I was Seritia’s gift to you as much as you are Her gift to me.” He shook his head. “I believe They expect a lot from you, but They do not want you to sacrifice yourself. For certain Seritia has a plan, but She wouldn’t expect you to sacrifice yourself. Why would She give us to each other just so we could break each other’s hearts? She wouldn’t.”
“But what about Arritisa? She denied me the Blood until I agreed to sacrifice myself.”
“No, She waited until you said you were prepared to do that before giving it to you. The two are not the same.” He pulled Farrell into a hug. “I understand. I don’t want to lose you or the children. If you go to the fight ready to blow yourself up the moment Meglar shows up, that’s what will happen.”
Farrell snorted. “I don’t blow up, Ral. I open up.”
“Same thing,” Miceral said. “If it were that simple, why did Kel take you around the world to meet with allies? You could have come back once you found the answer. Why spend the time to teach you combat magic if all he needed to do was teach you how to power the weapon?
“I understand you missed something important, but are you sure Geena didn’t do something to affect you? You said you didn’t shield yourself.”
Farrell straightened and pulled back. Bearing down, he cleared his thoughts and found his center. Grounded, he moved his shield inward. Once certain there was nothing inside that didn’t belong, he pushed it out. When it returned to its normal place, he waited a moment and opened his eyes.
Miceral stared at him expectedly. “And?”
“You were right. She must have sensed I was sad for missing Bren’s birthday and her power instinctively reached for me. But instead of healing me, it unlocked some of my other fears and then amplified them.”
“You’re that afraid nothing else will work?”
“As you said, it is possible, but that isn’t what happened. I misspoke when I said this was about my fears. It was the sadness of what I’ll miss if I have to sacrifice myself that was magnified. I wasn’t afraid of doing it, I was incredibly sad that I wouldn’t see you or the children again.”
“Is this… is this going to keep happening?”
“No.” He pulled Miceral’s hands up to his lips and kissed them. “When I merged with Grohl, I had to take down all my shields and create new ones that covered both of us. I didn’t create the special one to block empathy. I didn’t remember to put this one back up when I raised the others. I focused on fighting the other wizards. If I merge with them again, I’ll remember to put this one up again.”
“Good.” Miceral smiled and hugged him again. “But don’t be upset if I ask you anyway.”
Chapter 33
THE LOUD pounding on the door woke Farrell with a start. Miceral bolted up as well. Thankfully the knocking spell only worked in their room.
“What’s happening?” Miceral asked as he disappeared into his closet.
“Someone’s at the door.” Farrell summoned clothes and magically put them on. “I’m dressed, I’ll get it.”
“Cheater.”
If it weren’t the middle of the night, he’d have smiled. Nothing good was waiting in the hallway. He opened the door, and Jagwin glanced up at him.
“Your Majesty?” Jagwin sputtered for a moment. “I’m sorry, I expected King Miceral would answer.”
“Is this really the time for that?” Farrell hadn’t gotten up to be chided.
“Sorry, I…. Honal is under attack.”
“It’s begun,” Farrell said. “Anything else?”
“King Christian is dead. As is Prince Hendral.”
The news hit Farrell as if Jagwin had used his war hammer. He pinched the bridge of his nose to stop the tears. “How.”
“The king and his knights defended a bridge to allow everyone else to get behind the city shield.” Jagwin remained stoic, but Farrell saw the emotions he held back. “They stayed until the last person was safe.”
Farrell closed his eyes and nodded. “Has anyone told Kerstand?”
“Prince Thedeus escorted Queen Gedla with some of the evacuees. They went straight to Prince Kerstand. All the Doors are open and Honal’s citizens are coming through.”
“Where’s Sanduval?”
“He and Prince…. King Albert are holding the city until everyone can get away.”
The shield around the city wouldn’t last a day with Meglar attacking it. “Send word I need every available wizard. Have them bring every storage vessel they can fill and meet me in the great room as soon as they can.”
“Yes, Your Majesty.”
“And send someone to summon Prince Thedeus.” He hated to intrude on their grief, but he needed information. “And Captain?”
Jagwin paused before giving an order. “Yes, Your Majesty?”
“Make sure whoever goes to Thedeus is respectful of his loss. Father, brother, and kingdom all gone in one moment.”
“Of course.” Jagwin saluted and moved away.
“What are you planning?” Miceral asked.
“I’m going to bring Sanduval home.” He turned around to face Miceral. “I need your help.”
“What can I do?”
“I need you to wear your armor and let me fill it with energy.”
“Fill it…. Why?”
“Let’s get dressed and I’ll explain.”
THE GREAT room bristled with activity. Every available wizard in Haven reported as requested. Zenora and Kel helped draw energy from the Sources to fill any storage vessel available.
Farrell waited with a touch of dread for Thedeus. He wasn’t sure how the new crown prince of Honal would handle things. He hoped he was stable enough to direct them to the central stone.
When Thedeus arrived, Kerstand walked beside his brother. The look in his friend’s eyes made him regret not telling Jagwin to only admit Thedeus. The pair stopped in front o
f Farrell.
“Prince Thedeus, I apologize for intruding on your grief. I need your help to save your brother and Sanduval.” He avoided Kerstand, who was staring holes in him. “I offer my most heartfelt condolences—”
“You hypocrite!” Kerstand stepped forward and tried to punch Farrell. Time remained constant, but Farrell easily parried the blow. “Don’t you dare tell us you’re sorry when you let them die!”
Farrell’s guards tried to tackle Kerstand, but he extended his shield to keep them back. “Kers, you know I’m not allowed to—”
“Not allowed?” Kerstand shouted hysterically. Thedeus had his right arm over his brother’s shoulder and held him back. “Since when have you ever cared about the rules?”
“Let him go,” Farrell said.
Free, Kerstand balled up his fists but didn’t attack. Tears leaked from each eye and rolled down his cheeks. “They’re dead and you let it happen.”
“I’m sorry, Kerstand. I did what I could before I did what I had to.”
“It wasn’t good enough!” He tried to lash out again, but Farrell caught his arms. “You didn’t do enough.”
“Kers, that’s not fair,” Thedeus said. “Father made the decision to leave the safety of the shield over everyone’s objection. Hendral and Glaus went along to protect him.”
He left off how ill-fated that decision ended up.
“I’m sorry, Kerstand. More than you know.” He looked into his friend’s eyes and almost lost his control. What else could he say?
Kerstand tried to break free but Farrell wouldn’t let go. Finally he collapsed against Farrell. “It wasn’t enough.”
He let Kerstand sob against him until he recovered some control. “It wasn’t. I know.” It never was.
After a few minutes Kerstand straightened and stepped back. “I’m sorry, Farrell. I know you tried. I’m… I’m sorry.”
“It’s fine. Don’t apologize.” He tried to smile and it felt forced. “Go take care of your mother. She needs you right now.”
Kerstand nodded, turned, and walked away.
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