by J. J. McAvoy
She looked back at us and smiled, waving. “Hi, Grandma; hi Grandpapa.”
It was like seeing Dona all over again, and my heart shook.
She was precious.
“Hi, my dear,” I smiled back at her.
“What did she tell you to call them?” Ethan asked, picking her up and holding her when she tried to come to me…man was he petty.
“It’s a secret, Papa!” She stuck her tongue at him, and he pulled her nose, moving her closer to where her mother lay in bed.
Her eyes widened, and her smile dropped. “Mommy.” She bent down to reach.
“Don’t worry.” He kissed her head. “She’s okay. Some bad people hurt her, but she’s fine. Stay with her.” He carefully placed her on the bed before coming to us, his eyes falling cold again. “One of you get a car, and the other get my guest in the stairwell. We won’t be staying here for long.”
“All these measures,” Melody finally spoke, her voice above a whisper. “Saferooms, bulletproof hospital suites, secret Latin codes, poison smoke bombs, they were created by—”
“Calliope,” Ethan answered, looking down at her. “All that money people thought she was stealing or wasting on diamonds…it was for this. It’s easier to get work done in secret when you don’t use cash. She was protecting us—your son and your granddaughter. She’s been planning this for a very long time. So, get to work while I help her recover.”
I cracked my jaw to the side.
Now I was impressed, with Calliope too.
But it made me wonder how paranoid she had to be…how deep were the horrors behind that woman’s mask.
“She knew we were coming to kill her…and she still told her daughter about us.” Melody exhaled slowly. “That’s how bad wherever she came from was. She would rather her daughter be in the arms of the woman who might murder her than the one who raised her.”
“I said this once before. This family always attracts the most tragic of us,” I muttered slowly.
“This is not the moment for you both to reflect on your actions,” Ethan stated. “I gave you jobs, didn’t I?”
My eyebrow twitched.
“On it, boss.” I spat out, turning to leave.
How the fuck did my father manage this shit with me?
ETHAN
It took me more time then I liked, but I got the hospital to cover this up. For now, they would just say there was a faulty machinery issue, which caused the blast, if anyone on the bottom floors felt it. The rest of my men would clean up the bullets before repairs would be made…for this all, of course, the chairman of the hospital asked for a few new toys as well.
“When you bought major shares in the hospital and got involved in staffing, I thought it was your way of preparing a place for your brother,” my father said as we stood in the elevator, and I really wished the old man would shut up. “I see now how you planned on tainting their hands, too.”
He nodded over to the two nurses, one female and the other male, who monitored Calliope’s condition as we moved her. They pretended not to see or even hear us…well, they couldn’t hear us. They were deaf. All the nurses who worked on our floor were deaf. The hospital had created a unique program for them…they were happy for it. These two were also in very desperate need of funds and knew better than to even acknowledge any of us.
“How much do you spend a year paying people to be deaf, blind, and dumb?” he asked me curiously as he looked them over. “It always cost us an arm and a leg.”
It wouldn’t have cost that much, more like a thumb and a pinky. But he was stingy when it came to things like this.
“Mister?” Gigi called out to him instead of Grandpapa because my daughter was smart and knew not to do so when strangers were around.
“Mister?” My father replied, frowning, apparently not getting the game.
But Gigi put her hands to her lips. “When Daddy doesn’t answer, it’s cuz he’s either thinking or mad.”
I wanted to smile, knowing who had told her that.
“Really? How do you know which is which?” He snickered.
“When he’s mad, he gives you the look.”
“The look?”
I turned slightly so he could see for himself. His eyebrow raised.
“He’s mad at you, mister,” she said.
Really if not for her…it really would have been a dark new day.
“It’s okay. I’m used to his anger by now,” my father replied as we reached the basement floor, where a black minivan with a broken plate was parked and waiting.
The nurses glance at each other. They knew the owner of the car was not the woman who came out of it.
“A minivan?” my father asked her.
“It’s not like there are many options on short notice now, are there?” my mother shot back.
And again, I wondered, was all this talking out loud necessary?
I set Gigi on her feet. The moment she was free, she moved to her grandmother and raised her arms for her to carry her instead. My mother’s eyebrow rose as she glared down at the little girl below.
“Don’t be ridiculous. The door is right here, and you are a big girl, far too big to be carried by anyone,” she snapped sharply before looking to me as I moved the machine. “You are spoiling her.”
One again, I reconsidered this plan.
They could not fucking help themselves.
“It’s okay. You are old, so you are not strong anymore,” Gigi mocked. “Only strong people can pick me up, like Nana Evelyn.”
My father snorted and bit his lips closed as Gigi stuck out her tongue before going into the back with her mother. Gigi returned what she was given. If you were mean to her, she’d be mean right back…and she somehow knew exactly where to poke people.
My mother glared before muttering, “Like mother, like daughter.”
I frowned at that. I loved Calliope, but I didn’t want Gigi to be like her. I didn’t want my daughter to fight the same demons my wife battled. I didn’t even know the depth of it. But I knew without a doubt, from what I could piece together, Calliope had been born and raised in hell far worse than any of us.
11
“I see the Past, Present & Future
existing all at once before me.”
~William Blake
CALLIOPE—AGE 16
My heart raced so fast it felt like it was trying to escape my body. My mind was sharp, too, everything felt so much clearer, but I could see every flex of his muscle, the shift of his feet when he threw his fist. It was like it came at me in slow motion. I grabbed his fist, using the forward motion of his body, stepped on his thigh, twisting my legs around and up until I latched on his neck, flipping us down on to the mat. Squeezing as tightly as I could until he began to tap me for surrender.
I glanced at Siena outside the ring, in the shadows, waiting for her to tell me to let go. However, she just looked back even as I turned red
Oh…I’m killing him, aren’t I?
What was his name again?
He had said hi to me yesterday. I thought he was nice.
I guess it didn’t matter now.
I twisted his neck. There was a sick pop and I let go, rising from his body and waiting beside it.
“You are getting faster, Calliope,” she said.
“Thank you, Grandmother,” I said back, still waiting.
“Who wants to go next?” she asked, and no one around the ring moved.
None of them seemed to breathe. Just like me, they stood at attention, but no one stepped forward.
“It seems you have become scarier, too, Calliope. None of them want to fight you.” She laughed. “Well, I don’t blame them. This is the third one today. Why don’t we even the playing field a little.”
I expected her to call up more at least four people this time. It was three last week, so it would be four now. But instead, a knife was thrown into the ring at my feet.
“Stab your right leg…don't do too much damage. Just enough that they are
n’t scared to fight anymore.”
Breaking me was the handicap.
Bending over, I picked up the knife, wondering if I could throw it at her neck from here. But there were at least four of these assholes, I knew who would passionately protect her. There was no escape yet. There was no way to disobey. So I rolled my pants up and stabbed into the fat of my skin.
It hurt.
It hurt so badly, but instead of screaming, I stabbed my arm as well, biting my lips, before slowly rising, wobbling slightly. I stood, ignoring the blood that poured out of me. Breathing in, I swallowed my screams and stood at attention.
“Who’d like to fight her now?”
They all stepped forward.
That was why I didn’t bother remembering their names.
Lupus est homo homini. Man is a wolf to his fellow man.
Auribus teneo lupum. But I hold a wolf by the ears.
I was born in danger.
I couldn’t run from it.
I would fight it.
I would survive it.
And then I’d kill everyone. Gripping the knife tightly in my hands, I crashed down and stepped back as four of them entered the ring.
I knew what she wanted to do. She wanted me to know my body wasn’t mine. It was hers. I didn’t have any desire. I didn’t have control. I wasn’t supposed to feel. I was supposed to kill.
Win and kill.
And so that was what I was going to do. I was going to kill and kill and kill and give her the part of my body she wanted, and then I’d kill her with this same fucking body.
Stab me.
Shot me.
Drown me.
Break me.
But I wouldn’t die. No one was going to kill me. Not until I killed them all, not until I enjoyed my freedom from killing them, not until I was old and gray still dancing on their ashes would I even consider dying.
This world owed me.
So, I couldn’t die.
CALLIOPE—PRESENT
Why can’t I move?
What happened?
What—
I heard beeping, and when I heard that, I also felt pain. My body hurt.
“Relax.”
Ethan? I felt his hands brush my face gently.
“Relax, la mia anima, it’s the meds,” he said.
And I tried to think, but everything was foggy. Slowly I opened my eyes, and even though everything was a blur, those green eyes of Ethan’s were as sharp as ever.
“That’s it,” he said, still stroking my face. “You are all right.”
I didn’t feel all right. Soon though, it became easier to see him, everything coming into focus. I was sure there was another person in the room, a woman over his shoulder. My eyes strained, and slowly, the vision of her become clearer. Who was the woman with the brown eyes and dark hair with a gray-white highlight at the front standing behind him, looking down at me?
“Am…I….in…hell?” My voice was low and hoarse, even to me.
“No. You are alive and getting better,” Ethan replied directly, which was comforting.
I nodded as best I could before asking, “Then…your…mother’s…ghost?” I didn’t have the energy to speak.
He chuckled, lifting my hand to kiss it. “She’s haunting, but not dead.”
I smiled as Melody’s nostrils flared in annoyance. Breathing in, it slowly came back to me. The governor’s ball, the ambush…killing my father. I’d killed him.
“I…killed him…right?”
“Fiorello?”
I nodded.
“His brain matter may forever stain that bathroom floor,” he said, and I grinned wide.
I had really killed him.
“One down…one to go.”
“You can’t go anywhere until you are better,” he said to me.
I frowned at that. “How…long?”
“Patience.”
I was tired of being patient. But I knew Ethan was ready. I didn’t know what was going on, but I was so tired, and everything was confusing. Where were we? This wasn’t one of the hospital rooms I had worked on. Why were his parents so close? Melody had shot me, hadn’t she? I had so many questions, but it was all too confusing right now. And that was the least of my worries at this point. I shifted my head over and glanced around. But I didn’t see her, and panic filled me, which everyone heard thanks to that damn heart rate monitor.
“Gigi? You…have…to get Gigi,” I said, trying to sit up. I told him if I fell, he had to make sure she was with him at all times.
“She’s fine. She’s resting.”
He grabbed me to force me back down.
But I didn’t believe him. I shook my head. “Bring…her.”
“It’s been a long day for her—”
I grabbed him, glaring into his eyes. “Bring. Me. My daughter.”
He exhaled and then chuckled. “When Gigi saw you on the news, she reacted the same way. She wouldn’t calm down until I promised to bring her to you.”
I didn’t say anything, waiting. So, Ethan kissed my forehead and got up, moving to the door. When he left the room, I relaxed back onto the pillows. Then I realized he’d left me in the room with the woman who had put me in this position. When I turned my head to look at her, she sat in the corner, carving an apple, no longer looking at me.
I smiled. “Good…you feel guilty.”
She paused mid-peel, and her brown eyes snapped up to glare at me. “Guilt? I have none. I acted to protect my children. And I have no regrets about it.”
“Moms… always… have…regrets,” I replied, knowing first-hand about that. I regretted bringing Gigi into this chaos, allowing her to grow up near those monsters, for not being strong enough to kill them all before she was born. I regretted a lot. But then again, would I ever confidently be able to admit that out loud? I had my reasons. She had hers. But I was still a bit petty anyway. “I’m patient. I’ll get an apology…and a thank you—one day.”
She didn’t reply, simply because she didn’t want to, and because Ethan returned with my daughter dressed in mermaid pajamas. He brought her over to my side and put her in bed next to me. Exhaling calmly, I placed my hand on her head, brushing her hair slowly.
“Thank you,” I whispered to him before closing my eyes again.
CALLIOPE—AGE 17
“Your first assignment is him,” she said, giving me the picture of a teacher in his early 40s, with dark hair and slim frame, standing at the blackboard.
I nodded, taking it. “When do I need to kill him by?”
“After he’s fallen in love with you,” she said, sitting back in her chair, watching me carefully.
“How long does it take to make someone fall in love with you?” I asked, not sure what that timeframe was.
She laughed. “Calliope, that’s up to you and your skill. Some men like conversation, and others prefer sex. Whichever it takes to get it done.”
I looked down. He wasn’t the ugliest man for my first time. But then again, I guess that didn’t matter.
“If you prefer, you can pick one of the men here to get you adjusted to the feeling and then—”
I shook my head, looking through the photos of him.
“He looks like a loner. He might fall for an innocent girl faster,” I replied, rising from the chair. “Is there a reason why he needs to be in love first?”
“That’s what the client wants.”
I nodded, turning to leave. “Understood, I’ll get it done.”
“Calliope.”
“Yes, Grandmother?”
“You get more people to approach when you aren’t so cold and direct. Especially men. What did I tell you about that mask?”
“Never take it off until the kill,” I said with a smile on my face.
“Better. Go on. I have faith you won’t disappoint me.”
CALLIOPE—PRESENT
When I woke up, the room was brighter.
Gigi was no longer at my side. I could hear what sounded like a televi
sion outside the room, but it was drowned out by the water coming from the room beside me. I was about to call out, but before I could, Ethan came into the room, holding a bowl of water, soap, and a washcloth.
“You’re up again,” he said, coming beside me and putting his hand on my forehead. He nodded to himself before he dipped the washcloth into the basin, washing my face gently.
I smiled. “Feels nice.”
And it did. The cool water on my skin was refreshing.
“You’ve been running a slight fever,” he said.
“How…long has it been?”
“Five days,” he said, moving down my neck.
“Five days!” My eyes widened. “Siena—”
“We’ll deal with it later.”
“Ethan…she’s not going to…take a break. You need to be—”
“Calliope,” he said, sternly glaring down at me, “I am exactly where I need to be. You are my first priority now.”
I frowned. He didn’t understand. If Siena couldn’t reach me, she’d either assume I was dead or that I had betrayed her. Which I had, which meant the three who were the most loyal to her would be out on the hunt. She could also be hiring more people. “She’s sick, but she hasn’t lost it all yet, Ethan—”
“You are my first priority,” he whispered to me, leaning closer. “Whatever is happening, I need you. We are all hunkered down. All the Callahans, in different places, for now. There have been attacks, but we are fine. We are saving our energy. Because we need you. We’ve all only gotten this far because of you. So, relax and let me finish.”
I did and watched as he carefully took off my gown and cleaned my exposed skin. He was very focused, very dedicated, calm…no, not calm, caring. He was caring. Even from the beginning, when he didn’t trust me, he was still caring. Even when he was angry and lost his temper, he was caring.
I’d had a lot of male targets in the past. Some of them cared, most of them did not. They, for some reason or another, fell for me, and I killed them. I used whatever tricks or lies necessary. I became exactly what they needed then killed them. But for some reason, he changed everything. I took off my mask, and he was still there. I put on my mask, and he was still there. I lied, I cheated, I stole, I’d done so many things to him, and in the end, he still trusted me, still waited beside me. Let me lead when I wanted to lead. He had shown me all of his flaws, too.