by B. J. Hardy
‘I can only try.’
‘You may very well be squashed.’
‘I don’t care.’
‘Oh, you will.’
I silenced my inner dialog. There was no point in torturing myself. My sense of discipline wouldn’t allow it. I had things to do, important things. Still, I couldn’t shake Cassie out of my head, or my heart rather. In hindsight it was simple, I had to win her, even if it meant that I would lose everything. Yeah, I had it bad. What was it about her that was so beguiling? I mean beyond the obvious; her unbelievably beautiful face, that ripe full body with such supple curves, but most of all her fiery spirit. It was no use in trying to rationalize the irrational. The fact remained that I would do everything in my power to not just have her, but to win her heart.
It wasn’t long until I had finished what I fully considered to be my quintessential masterpiece. I was prouder of it than any thing I’d ever accomplished. My heart was rendered to shreds when I played just the piano concerto alone. In my mind I could hear the entire orchestral arrangement though. It was ingrained in me by this time. There was only one thing I could do and that was to have the full symphony played by an expert orchestra. Right away I called up some acquaintances who I knew had the connections. I needed the best orchestra as well as the best choir to do justice for the composition. I had written the lyrics in Italian, as there could be no other language for such an epic opera. I knew that this was going to be expensive, but it had to be done. I had to unleash this beast upon the world. Luckily there was no need to try to fly in anyone, as we were fortunate to have some of the best musicians and opera singers in the world there in the Bay Area. Even though I was not deeply involved in this community, I did know people who were. I made all the arraignments and we set up some practice times. Then I went ahead and gave the green light to my promoter to book the venue and advertise the opera.
After all the necessary arraignments had been made and paid for by me, it was time to invite the special guests, most especially the guest of honor. I waited until near the end of class to surprise them.
“I have a gift for you all. I will highly encourage you all to attend. This is important, and I will take it as a personal affront if I do not see you there.” I began.
“Attend what?” Jerry demanded.
With that, I handed out the tickets to them, each in a personalized, custom envelope with their names done in the finest calligraphy. Yeah, it was important to me.
“Oh my.” Lara exclaimed.
“The San Francisco Symphony, and the San Francisco Opera Chorus?” Coby had wide eyes. “What is the opera?”
“It doesn’t say.” Elan remarked.
“Yes it does.” I told.
“A remarkable new opera?” Cassie mused.
“Exactly.” I nodded.
“Oh, modern music… wonderful.” Jerry was sarcastic.
“It is in the classical style.” I assured.
Lara questioned, “Why is this so important, Professor?”
“You will see, or rather hear.” I smiled.
“Do we have to dress up? You know… like in a damn tuxedo?” Zack frowned.
“No. However try to not wear jeans with holes in them.” I shook my head. I would’ve much preferred if they did dress formally, but that was too much to ask of poor college kids.
“Why is this so important, Maestro?” Cassie was blunt.
“You will understand when you witness this.”
I could tell they were all a bit confused, but they accepted the invitations none-the-less.
It was a gamble that I was taking, one which could easily backfire on me. There were a few times that as I thought about the whole thing, I realized part of it was so entirely juvenile and silly. Cassie had made me feel like a love-sick teenager who just had to try to impress her. Then as I would pick up the phone to call it off, I knew that this music had to be heard, it was imperative that it be unleashed upon the world. I could’ve given a fuck about critical reviews of it because I knew it was damned good. There was only one person whose opinion mattered about it, and if she didn’t like it then I knew I’d be crushed. The big gamble was that others would make the connection and as such see right through the guise, thus exposing my childish infatuation. In a worst-case scenario, it might come to the attention of the University administration and I could possibly lose my position. I wasn’t too worried about that as I definitely didn’t need the paltry income. It was something I did to pass along what I’d been taught. My way of paying it forward as it were. Still, I did have a desire to teach and the University was the perfect place to do that, so I needed to be careful.
The fact that Cassie had hooked up with that damned drummer was eating at me.
‘Maybe she, or even he, was just a one-night-stand?’ My foolish-self posed.
‘If she is that sort, then you don’t want her anyhow, right?’ Mister sensible corrected.
‘Actually… yes I do.’
Sensible me shook my head. ‘You’re heading for a whole lot of trouble son.’
‘What do I do?’
‘Let her go.’
‘I can’t!’
‘Then get ready to suffer.’
‘This sucks!’
‘Yes, it does.’
There was only one person who might be able to help me through the rabid emotions I was experiencing, so I gave him a call. Master Shue was glad to meet with me at his school after his next class.
“Now what is it that is troubling you, Ricardo?” He got right to the point. He always got right to the heart of any matter.
“There is a young woman who seems to have gotten the best of me.”
“How so?”
“She’s all I can think about. You know me. I’m normally pretty level headed. Since I met her all that’s gone out the damn window. Hell, I even wrote a whole symphony just for her.” I thought about that for a moment then corrected myself, “Well, not just for her. It’s for everyone, but I composed it because of her.”
“If I may intrude with a personal question?” He asked.
“Of course.”
“Have you had relations with this woman yet?”
“No.” I looked down.
“Are you intending to?”
That caught me off guard. “I don’t know. I mean, I suppose so. It’s just that when I’m around her something happens.”
“What happens?”
“It’s hard to explain… It’s like… I feel like nothing else matters.”
“Have you told this woman how you feel?”
“No. She’s a student of mine.”
He frowned. “Then I suggest that you leave your personal feelings in your pants until such time as she is no longer your student.”
I should have seen that response coming. Master Shue was very proper when it came to teacher-student relationships. “That’s exactly why I haven’t made any advances. Why is it that she can have this effect on me, teacher?”
He took a long moment before he answered, so I knew this was going to be valuable.
“Our true-selves are comprised of energy, of light. You could say this light, which is a very special type of light, is what we call our souls. As you know, light has a frequency. I was taught that our true-selves have a specific vibration. Sometimes beings will have a similar frequency, or vibration. These people are naturally predisposed to be attracted to each other.”
“That makes sense.”
“Then there are rare instances when two people have perfectly matching vibrations. They have a wonderful resonance when together. There is a harmony of souls if you will.”
It struck me like a bullwhip hitting me right between my eyes. That must be what was causing me to feel like I did towards Cassie.
“Oh damn! That’s it!” I sighed.
“I suggest that you take time and reflect on this desire. As I have mentioned many times before, desires can be useful only when they motivate us towards discipline. The moment the opposite is tru
e is the moment you need to reel yourself in and firm up your will.”
It became so clear to me. Cassie had inspired me to express my feelings through one of my disciplines. My symphony would not have been composed without her influence on me. Even though she had no Earthly idea that she’d done such a thing.
“Thank you, Master Shue. You did help me greatly. I know what I need to do now.”
“Good. Remember that anything in life is only valuable if it brings out the best in you. Everything else is nonsense.”
I nodded and smiled. His wisdom had never let me down.
Well Cassie had definitely brought out the best in me, my symphony was proof of that. There was one thing about it which I had to change though; the title.
‘Unheeded Prophecy is good, and fits perfectly, but I think Unheeded Resonance is better.’
It was a good thing that the programs were the last thing to be printed and hadn’t yet gone to the presses. Right away I called my printer and made the change. It was too late for the sheet music, but then only the orchestra and choir had them. Good thing I had purposely left the name of the opera off the tickets as I’d wanted it to be a surprise. This would be a simple fix, and the new name really resonated with me. That made me chuckle as I thought about it.
There was one last bit of business that I needed to take care of before I would be able to be at ease again. That damned drummer! What the hell was I going to do about him? The thought of putting the fear of god into him crossed my mind but that wouldn’t be such a smart idea. If she did love him then that was just the way it was. My threatening him wouldn’t cure that, neither would hurting him. In fact, that just might cement her bond to him more fully. It was a good thing I had talked to Master Shue as I could rationalize the whole situation with a focused, clear mind. This was something that I would just have to stay out of and hope for the best. Cassie had to come to me, she had to really want me as much as I did her. It was the only way we stood a chance of having a relationship. Hopefully, my symphony would let her know how I felt. Maybe she would warm up to me some, but then I might wind up like Apollo had, rejected and heartbroken. If that were to be the case, I wasn’t going to curse her though. No, my heart wouldn’t allow that. Of all the possible outcomes of my plan, the one that occurred I really didn’t expect.
Chapter 11
-Cassie-
When I didn’t have classes, I went to The Grill Studios every available chance and they kept training me and even putting me to work. I figured it was a win-win situation. I was getting an invaluable real-world education in the field I wanted, and they got some free labor. Over the next weeks we recorded a number of artists but Alulim only had one more session. Jason still hadn’t called me by then, and even though he’d again promised to do so when I saw him, I didn’t hold much hope. When I soon saw a photo on the cover of a tabloid at the super market, of Jason taking another young girl into a hotel, well, I knew that he wouldn’t call. He was a player, and I’d known this deep down even that wonderful night we had together. It did sting a bit, but it wasn’t like I had fallen for him. I do wish I would have enjoyed his hard cock some more, as he was a damned good lover, but it wasn’t something that would squash me. The whole reason I went with him to the hotel in the first place was that I’d hoped being with him might bring me to meet my ultimate fantasy man, D.D. I realized that this just wasn’t going to happen.
It did cross my mind that my sexual awakening might just have fucked me up. I found myself daydreaming about dick quite often.
‘Oh my god, have I become a damn slut?’
This thought bothered me. I had promised myself that I would never let that happen. I began to panic about this.
‘Holy shit! Why can’t I get penis out of my mind?’
As the panic got worse, I called Lara hoping she could talk me down from this ledge.
Fortunately, she answered. “Hey what’s up?”
“I think I fucked myself into slutdom, Lara!”
She started laughing, and that didn’t ease my damn mind one bit.
“Stop! I’m serious!”
“What the hell is going on with you? Did you get laid again?”
“No! I just can’t stop thinking about dick!”
“It’s simple, then that means you need to get laid.”
“What if it’s lame like my first time?”
“Then you find another dick.” She said.
“And then bango! I’m a fucking slut.” I frowned.
“Look, I’m sorry that Jason blew you off, but there are other guys who would be more than willing to give you a good run for their money.”
“I just want someone dependable.”
“You mean a guy that will show up?”
“No. I don’t just want any swinging dick! I want a guy who knows how to make me come… fucking hard!”
“That’s the trick, now isn’t it. It’s a Catch twenty-two, Cass. You find one that is dynamite in bed and odds are he’s a rotten bastard in every other way.”
That made me groan. “I should just become a nun.”
“Well, you ain’t getting none now, so what’s the difference?”
At first, I gritted my teeth but then it did hit my funny bone and I started to laugh. Lara joined in with me.
Every time I thought about sex, which was becoming an everyday, almost all-day long occurrence, I thought of Jason first. The way he’d pulled my hair as he fucked me from behind, spanking my ass as he did. Holy shit he’d made me come so goddamn hard, and so many times too. Then there would be several other men who would also find their way into my lurid fantasies as well. The first was that bastard Master D from the Devil’s Dungeon. I just knew that he was one of those who knew how to make a woman come. Of course, my ultimate fantasy man, D.D. from Alulim would also pop up. He’d made me orgasm many times already without even touching me, just by his music alone. Then in inevitably Rick Brookes image was there too. That would make me sad when I masturbated thinking of him. Getting off while dreaming of a dead man… shit I was fucked up! The other man who would make appearances in my dirty fucking mind was Professor Riachuelo. Though he played a subtler role in my horny wish list. At first, I was somewhat disgusted that I was fantasizing about him, but then I just accepted the fact that he was kind of hot. I was so damn horny that I even burned out my vibrator. This was within a couple weeks’ time. I know my dorm mates probably knew I was masturbating in the shower, but I didn’t give a fuck at that point. I needed to come! The thought that I had indeed had my pussy unleashed, and was now well on my way to slutsville, constantly nagged at me. There was nothing I could do though. I even asked Lara if we might be able to go back to the Devil’s Dungeon and give it another try, but she told me that her friend Devon had already told her that neither of us were welcome there, ever again. I don’t know what had happened exactly, but I do know that Lara was right about BDSM being totally fucking hot. I began to read some fiction of that genre when I had a rare free moment, and this never failed to send me into the shower to get off. The thought of Master D cracking his whip on my ass would push me right over the top, and hard!
Those last few weeks before the end of the school year were exceptionally hard. Not only were my studies getting insanely difficult, but my pussy was out of control! This just made focusing on what I needed to learn much more challenging. There was one brief reprieve coming up, the classical symphony that Maestro had given us tickets to and pretty much demanded we attend. I didn’t mind at all, rather I looked forward to an enjoyable evening of a concert, even if it wasn’t rock and roll. It held the promise of being relaxing and intellectually stimulating. Lara wasn’t so hot on the idea, as she resented his insistence that we attend. I tried to get her to lighten up and make a pleasurable evening of it. She did eventually mellow out and agree to try to have fun.
We both decided to dress as nicely as our meager wardrobes would allow, but that wasn’t saying much. There was a last-minute detail that the Professor hadn’t
told us about until two days beforehand; he’d arranged for all his students to be picked up by stretch limousines. This put a lump in all our throats. For him to go to this expense was totally mind-boggling. Lara and I figured that this was indeed going to be a special night, and that this concert was extremely important to him. I thought that just maybe he would be playing with the orchestra. Perhaps even performing a solo.
The limos picked us up on campus and did we get quite a lot of stares from people as we boarded. There were two slightly stretched limousines and we comfortably fit twelve of us in each. These were students from all his classes. They were somewhat small classes after all. This was undoubtedly because he had the reputation of delivering difficult, advanced teaching of music theory. Everyone was excited, and many questions were asked of what the symphony was, but no one knew. It was a long ride into the city from Oakland, crossing the Bay Bridge then heading downtown. When we arrived at the War Memorial Opera House, the excitement had built until we all were wide-eyed and smiling. Then came the next surprise, we had box seats! These were without a doubt the best seats in the house, front and center as well. I wondered if Maestro had come out of pocket for all of this, but then how the hell could he afford that on a professor’s salary, unless they were paying professors a hell of a lot more than I figured? It must have been that he worked a deal somehow with the Opera, which wouldn’t surprise me at all. He did seem to have connections in high places. That was obvious after how he’d hooked me up with my internship of sorts at The Grill Studios. All these thoughts were running through my head as we were seated and given the evening’s program.
“Finally! The name of the symphony is ‘Unheeded Resonance.’ I hate mysteries.” Lara chortled.
That snapped me back to the moment, and I opened the program to check it out. Some of the other students were gasping and whispering back and forth.
“Hey, it’s a full opera, not just a symphony.” I remarked, seeing that San Francisco Chorus was also listed. Then I remembered seeing that listed on the tickets.