Irrelevant Jack

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Irrelevant Jack Page 13

by Prax Venter


  Fished-up Boots - [Feet | Value: 0]

  | Def: 1 |

  ~ Discarded, flimsy, and smell of the sea

  In the end, he kept on his fishy leather boots and stashed the magic shoes in his inventory. He only had 4 total Defense as it was. Even though Jack still didn’t fully grasp what the number did- or affected, the extra two mana didn’t seem worth it. Especially since his priority was to stay alive.

  Jack walked back along the path, and the croaking seemed to grow increasingly louder. The frog had to be right under him. By the time he came to the next offshoot from the main path, the sound was almost deafening.

  He checked down the bridge expecting to see another platform, and he wasn’t wrong. What he didn’t expect to see was a bullfrog the size of a dump truck.

  Jack immediately crouched next to the dried bamboo railing on the main path and peeked at the gargantuan creature sitting idly on a wider platform. Its protruding hourglass eyes didn’t seem to notice him- or if it did, the thing didn’t react. Perhaps it only attacked once he approached.

  Jack shot a glance down the wide suspended footpath he’d been traveling and confirmed that it continued for quite a while beyond this point. This massive amphibian had to be the Floor Boss, but Jack told himself he couldn’t be sure until he saw its nearby Exit Orb.

  It was an easy choice to skip this area and come back later. Jack stayed in a squatting position as he shambled away from the giant croaking creature and continued down the main footpath.

  At the usual distance, he came to an additional platform hosting another giant snail. Before he rushed out, Jack considered his options. He definitely wanted to blast the Boss with his Mining Laser, and he wanted to have as much Mana as he could get for that attack. The Double Strike he used before took a whopping 5 Mana. He checked his total.

  26/30 MP

  Jack quickly dismissed the idea of using his ability and decided to save up for the Boss. If everything worked out, he could take advantage of the rest bonus and get back to full Mana by clearing the rest of the Floor.

  His mind made up, Jack crept forward and waited for the white-shelled snail to face away from him. When it did, he silently rushed forward and stabbed his sword into the pus bag’s head. It felt like he did some serious damage, but the giant snail didn’t vanish. Instead, it began to turn and sent out its noxious cloud.

  Landing that first strike, however, made a huge difference in the length of the fight. He employed the same technique of circling around the slow creature- he missed a few times, but it was dead within thirty seconds. The snail and its stinking cloud vanished, leaving a ridiculously long staff to clatter to the bamboo platform.

  Jack inspected the drop.

  Dusty Driftwood Staff - [2-Hand Staff | Value: 4]

  | Dmg: 2 |

  | Max Mana +5 |

  | Magic Power +1 |

  “Ooo,” he said to himself. The red outline meant he couldn’t use the weapon, but he was pleased to see a higher-value item. Jack tucked the staff into his Inventory and made a mental note to ask Lex what the stat ‘Magic Power’ did. If he had to guess, it was like damage for pure magic users. As an experiment, he tried to merge the staff with his upgradeable blade but wasn’t surprised when it didn’t work.

  Jack continued down the wide bamboo footpath and came across five more platforms before he reached the end. He killed two more giant snails, only picking up five more gold coins along the way. Satisfied that he had cleared the whole floor, Jack leaned against the railing on the dead-end path and took stock of his stats.

  HP 20/20

  MP 29/30

  He was disappointed that he didn’t get any new equipment for himself, but the sword upgrade was nice.

  Jack’s plan of attack was to stand as far away from the giant frog as he could and blast it with his Mining Laser. If there were any snails on the platform, they would take a while to slink all the way out and hopefully not cause a problem.

  With his plan more or less set, Jack stalked back up the bamboo footpath toward the Floor Boss.

  The croaking grew louder once again as he approached the giant, wart-covered amphibian. It was still resting on its platform, staring straight ahead. Jack watched the frog’s throat bulge outward as it let out another loud, gurgling croak. It looked slightly out of place- just sitting on a bamboo platform, but this was only a game, and Jack was about to conquer this Floor. He allowed himself no other choice.

  “Hopefully there aren’t any mates for you out there, bud,” Jack whispered quietly as he stepped one foot on the bridge leading to the Boss’s platform and drew his sword. He looked down and noticed the same white leather wrapping on the hilt, but the edges seemed a bit sharper than before.

  “ARV Alternis… whatever the hell you are, don’t fail me now.” After he said the words, the blade vibrated in his hand. It was barely perceptible, but it was something. Perhaps it was the sword talking in his head all along.

  Determination took hold, and Jack held the tip of his weapon out and pointed it at his target. He wondered what the range was on his ability just before it activated, and a red burst of power struck the massive frog crouched about twenty yards ahead of him.

  Flames engulfed the amphibian, and Jack’s mana began to drain.

  27/30 MP, 25/30 MP, 23/30 MP… That was when the creature used its powerful back legs and launched high into the air. Jack tried to track his target with his sword, but when the shadow of the colossal creature fell over him, he canceled his ability and sprinted down the path.

  Directly behind him, the giant frog impacted the spot he had just been standing, and a visible shockwave sent him sprawling onto his face on the bamboo footpath.

  18/20 HP

  Scrambling to his feet, Jack spared a glance over his shoulder to see the massive frog make a slow quarter-turn to face him. He sprinted a few steps before something moving very fast struck him in the back and knocked him on his face again.

  13/20 HP

  Jack staggered to his feet and tried to put some distance between them. How was he supposed to defeat this thing? He glanced over his shoulder to keep an eye on the Floor Boss when he saw its wide mouth open.

  Jack’s mind put two and two together and realized he’d just been nailed in the back by this thing’s tongue. Anticipating another strike, Jack immediately dodged to the right and almost avoided the red, slimy wrecking ball. The grazing impact to his left shoulder forced him to stumble a little, but he kept his feet under him and sprinted away from the monster with adrenaline-infused haste.

  11/20 HP

  Jack’s fished-up boots pounded against the dried bamboo walkway in rapid succession as he shot another glance over his shoulder just in time to catch the frog leap into the air again.

  He knew that if he kept running like this, the Boss was going to keep the upper hand. He needed to take control of this battle.

  As quickly as he could, Jack skidded to a halt and sprinted back the other way, toward where the frog had just been sitting. When the creature impacted the bamboo path behind him, he was knocked to the ground again by his proximity to the white, rippling shockwave.

  7/20 HP

  This time, Jack didn’t get up. He rolled over, pointed his sword at the frog’s ugly, green ass and activated his Mining Laser.

  The tip of Jack’s sword pulsed once, and a blinding red beam lanced right into the massive Floor Boss’s rear end. Just like the giant snails on this floor, the giant frog had a hard time turning around, and the railings on the footpath made it even more difficult.

  The unfortunate creature made pitiful gurgling noises as Jack’s mana drained. Its tiny front legs tried to navigate around the railings, but its huge body prevented it from turning quickly.

  Eventually, the massive bullfrog managed to face him, but by then, Jack was up on his feet and ready. The giant amphibian tried to open its mouth to launch another tongue attack, but Jack aimed the red beam of fiery death a bit upward and lit up its skull from the inside- and t
he battle was over.

  The Floor Boss vanished in a spectacular display of glittering dust, and a pile of coins rained down onto the bamboo path where it had been. At the same time, Jack felt an intensely pleasurable wave of power jolt through his body.

  After a deep breath, he sheathed his sword and checked his stats.

  Jack - Hero Class: Irrelevant | Level 2

  [Health: 7/20 | Mana: 7/30]

  [Defense: 4 | Dodge: 10]

  [Main Hand Damage: 3 | Off-Hand Damage: 0]

  [Hit Chance: 0.87] [Critical Chance: 0.01]

  “Wooo!” Jack yelled into the silent and tranquil bamboo forest. “Who’s Level 2 now?”

  With a grin, he dismissed his Character panel and collected the dropped coins. Jack opened his inventory to see his new total.

  Coins: 27

  He felt absolutely rich, and his grin turned to laughter when he returned to see the golden chest where the massive frog had been sitting on the Floor Boss platform. He ran right for it and just before he reached down to loot its contents, a chill ran down his spine.

  Pulling his sword and spinning in place, he checked to make sure no other monsters were lurking around within the area. With a slow breath blown through his lips, Jack confirmed that there were no more creatures to deal with and only saw serene bamboo forest. However, he did notice the Boss Exit Orb and an iron-bound wooden door with the number two burned onto the front, as if it had been branded. The freestanding door looked odd, just quietly remaining upright on the dried bamboo platform with no support. It had to be the way he got up to the next Floor.

  Shaking his head, he sheathed his sword, trying to remember that he needed to think before acting.

  Jack held his hand out to the ornate golden chest before him.

  Floor 1 Rewards - Boss Chest

  Cracked Leather Leggings - [Legs | Value: 2]

  | Def: 2 |

  Dented Plate Helm - [Head | Value: 2]

  | Def: 3 |

  Rusty Claymore - [2-Hand Sword | Value: 3]

  | Dmg: 3 |

  |+0.02 Crit Chance |

  Bent Short Bow [Bow | Value: 3]

  | Dmg: 3 |

  It was an absolute treasure trove! He quickly moved the leather leggings over to his Legs slot, and baggy leather pants suddenly enveloped his legs, displacing his currently equipped item into his inventory. They didn’t look pretty, but he felt more protected than with the thin cloth pants Lex had given him when he first woke up here- wherever this was.

  The other item that caught his attention was the two-handed claymore. Squinting his eyes in preparation for the flash that would hopefully follow, Jack moved the item from the chest onto his Main Hand slot.

  Even through his eyelids, the bright burst of power from the sheath attached to his waist was enough to sting.

  “MORE!” the deep voice echoed in his mind.

  “I KNOW!” Jack yelled back. “What do you think I’ve been doing?”

  Shaking off the minor annoyance, Jack inspected his upgraded weapon.

  ARV Alternis - [Sword | Value: 9/10]

  | Dmg: 4 |

  | Hit Chance +0.02 |

  | Crit Chance +0.02 |

  Fulfillment like nothing Jack had ever experienced washed over him as he reveled in his hard-won stats and items. With a grin that just wouldn’t go away, he walked up to the Floor Boss Exit Orb and hovered his hand over it. Before he touched it though, his eyes darted over to the wooden door to the next Floor. A large part of him wanted to open that door and see if he could come back with treasures untold- but he knew that was a bad idea.

  That wasn’t going to be him anymore, he promised himself, and slapped the Exit Orb.

  - 13 -

  He found himself outside under a clear cobalt sky and the crumbling, beat-down Town of Blackmoor spread out before him. The crisp sea breeze was a stark contrast to the bright green bamboo forest. Jack noticed Ryea standing by the fountain, and that she was the only one there to greet them today. Turning to his right, he faced Lex with a devilish grin.

  “Level Two,” he said, holding up two fingers.

  A smile spread across her face, and Jack felt once again irreparably addicted to this woman’s happiness.

  “Nice pants!” Ryea said as she clomped up to the pair of Heroes.

  Jack looked down at the baggy, cracked leather cylinders hanging off his hips and nodded.

  “I’d love to show Harrak my…” he began, but he caught Lex’s smile leveling out, and Jack quickly course-corrected his mouth. “-my appreciation, by paying for his daughter’s dinner. How much is fish and a room, Lex?”

  She squinted her eyes and crossed her arms before her smile returned.

  “Three coin for dinner, six for the room and breakfast.”

  Doing some quick math, three dinners was 9, and two rooms were 12. That would leave him with 6 coins left over… but what else did he need to spend it on?

  “Alright, Lex, Ryea- dinner is on me tonight. Let’s celebrate!” he said.

  “Feed the Town first, Jack,” Lex said, indicating the beat-up wooden chest by the edge of the fountain. She seemed to reconsider and added, “Actually, can you show me your loot?”

  “Sure thing.” Jack brought up his Inventory and willed the items over to the blonde Bastion wearing leather armor standing in front of him. The trade menu opened, and he filled it with his Floor 1 loot.

  She was backlit by the blood-orange setting sun, and Jack was distracted by the stunning image, but he could tell she had focused past the trade window and onto the hilt of his sword. Lex looked at him for a moment with her golden eyes then nodded, declining the trade.

  “This is good, Jack,” she murmured with a distracted tone, then turned to the chest to deposit her items. He did the same and held his hand out to the chest with the intent to open it. A new black-lacquer interface panel opened in his vision. It was a big empty area with the words “Town - INPUT Chest” carved into the top left corner.

  “Input?” Jack said out loud.

  Lex turned to face him. “Please don’t tell me you forget the things you already know… You need to put your loot-”

  “Ha!” he interrupted her. “Wouldn’t that be funny? Never mind, I got it. Dumping in items now.”

  After they both emptied their inventories, Jack unequipped his armor and reequipped his cloth pants. There was a moment of hesitation before he switched his pants. Even though it was instantaneous, he still felt odd changing in front of the two women, out in public.

  “Congratulations, Jack!” Ryea cheered and clapped him on the back.

  “Thanks, Ryea. We ready to eat?”

  They were all grins as the three of them entered the inn, and before the door closed behind them, his loud friend with the braided ponytail immediately announced that Jack was now Level 2.

  The Eye o’ the Storm exploded with cheers, and a few Townsfolk stood to shake his hand. Jack smiled and nodded as Lex led them to an empty table in a relatively quiet corner.

  He was having a hard time wiping his cheesy grin off his face, and Lex had a hard time keeping the smile from hers as she looked at him. They locked eyes, both silently expressing their shared jubilation over his overpowered sword.

  “My, my,” Demi said from behind him. Jack never heard her approach. Her steady eyes appraised him again, and he knew she was inspecting his gear.

  “Hi, Demi. I’ll cover our three meals and a room both for Lex and myself.” Jack opened his inventory and willed 21 gold coins over to the innkeeper. She scanned his offer and nodded, slapping the accept button.

  “You got it,” she said and swiftly moved to fill their order.

  Ryea clasped her hands under her chin. “You guys are so good to me. But seeing as there is only one fishy dish to spend my coin on, it’s really not necessary.”

  What she said reminded him that he wanted to learn more about how things worked around here.

  “Who pays the guards?” Jack asked. “Where does the coin come from?”<
br />
  The larger woman smiled, constantly amused by his ignorance.

  “We get paid from the Captain of the Guard. That’s Kron.”

  “Where does he get it from?”

  Ryea looked over to Lex for support. “Um… the Wall? I guess. I don’t really know. I’ve never worried about such things.”

  The shorter blonde woman shrugged and said, “it’s not our job,” like that settled it.

  “And Sol, out on the wharf, where does he get the coin to pay the fishermen?”

  “This again?” Demi said, almost making him jump. The silver-haired innkeeper placed steaming plates of food in front of everyone and then put her hand on her aproned hip. “He gets it from me. I pay him the coin for the raw fish and seaweed.”

  Jack nodded. “Thanks, Demi.” She returned the nod and left.

  As he sipped on his tentacle soup, he was starting to get a better grasp of the Town’s circular flow of coin- except for Kron. This economical puzzling was derailed when Lex looked up from her own soup and spoke.

  “Tell us about your first victorious Floor, Jack.”

  He told them about the gassy snails and the giant bullfrog, and then he asked Lex to regale them with tales of the five Floor Bosses she defeated. The petite woman held up her hand and counted off on her fingers.

  “First there was a wolf with metal claws. Two was a type of jellyfish creature with some uncomfortable shock attacks. Floor Three was a skillful skeletal ranger, it was annoying. Four was… oh yes, a large rabbit with a horn and five was a massive lustrous pearl that used a horrible sound attack. I’m surprised my ears aren’t still ringing.”

  “Sounds intense,” Jack said, then shoveled some of the buttery grilled whitefish into his mouth. In the corner of his vision, he noticed that his HP and MP were restoring as he finished his meal. This was his third identical supper, and although it wasn’t anywhere near the point of getting old for him, he could see it becoming an issue over weeks or months. He watched Ryea push her fish around on her plate, and he could practically see her disinterest in the food. Her stomach won out in the end, and she eventually finished everything.

 

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