Irrelevant Jack

Home > Other > Irrelevant Jack > Page 20
Irrelevant Jack Page 20

by Prax Venter

He stopped and pulled up the information.

  PATH: Dimensional Blade [1]

  ► Double Strike - [Activated | 5 Mana | Main Hand Damage x2]

  ~ Your blade becomes a blur, attacking the target twice in a single moment.

  PATH: Data Mining [1]

  ► Mining Laser - [Channeled | 2 Mana/Second | Main Hand Damage/Second]

  ~ skill.repeating(rewrite_v1.58) include(error.correction(target, !total, local_user));{unif

  PATH: Data Summoning [0/350]

  ► Call Alt – [Activated | Once per Entrance | read.Mainhand(remote deletion pr)]

  ~ Summon ARV Alternis to help in the Tower.

  “Summon ARV Alternis… what the hell is this?”

  “Your third Path, Jack. I saw an opening in the code to amend a summoning skill to your Paths. You are going to be the Hero this world needs.”

  “Are you serious? Alt, please don’t say cheesy crap like that. How does this new ability work?”

  “Activate it.”

  Jack’s brows came down as he focused on the ability name and tried to actively Call Alt. There was a pinpoint flash of light off to his right, and when he turned to look, he saw a model spaceship hovering in the air.

  “No way…” Jack muttered as the sleek ship smoothly floated closer to his face. It was about the size of a 2-liter bottle, and the gunmetal-gray vessel had four stubby wings, two in the front and two near the back. They ended in sharp, blue flames, like a butane lighter. The thrusters adjusted their angle as the ship strafed around Jack in a circle, and he tracked it with his head. By the size of the windows peppered along the ship’s wedge-like hull, the actual ARV Alternis was much, much larger. Long protrusions that must have been antennae spread out across the exterior, among other complex components and fine details.

  When Alt spoke, the sound no longer came from inside his head, but now originated from the badass hunk of metal floating before him.

  “Congratulations. You now have a minion.”

  “This is what you look like, huh?”

  “Correct, but at 2100:1 scale.”

  “What can you do?” Jack asked, appraising the highly detailed toy ship for weapons. “Please tell me you can shoot lasers or something.”

  “Although I am designated as a research vessel, I am outfitted with the means to protect myself. My virtual presence here is capable of dealing minor, long-range damage- although I’m fairly certain I can add functionality as you increase- er, as you feed me more blades.”

  Jack looked down to pull his sword from his scabbard and did a double take at the leather flap strapped to his waist. Elaborate blue embellishments were now sewn into the edges that had not been there before. He tilted the sheath forward and gripped it with his left fist while he drew his blade.

  The long sharp edge was now a deep black metal, and the hilt had gained an ornate red gem in its center. He tried a few practice swings, and his new floating spaceship friend drifted safely out of range.

  After feeling comfortable with the heft of his ever-upgrading weapon, Jack returned it to its sheath and continued stalking toward the next group of enemies. A wicked half grin appeared on his face.

  “Come on, Alt. After we kill the Floor Two Boss, we’re going for Floor Three.”

  The tiny spaceship caught up easily with Jack’s long strides and elegantly spun to face him, then began hovering backward at a speed equal to Jack’s gait.

  “Maybe you should see how things end up after we face the Floor 2 Boss,” Alt said.

  “Maybe,” Jack echoed, but inside he felt fired up. “You said you needed more risk-taking humans, right?”

  “Correct,” the ship said, “and losing you would be catastrophic to the universe.”

  “So, there are humans in your alternate universe?” Jack asked after a handful of paces along the soft, furry ground.

  “Your biological makeup is 99.9998% similar, so they must have evolved slightly differently than the humans here.”

  “Was there stuff like America, Star Wars movies, and McSanders Meals in your universe?”

  “I can confirm the first two, but what’s a McSanders meal?” Alt asked, the ship dipping a little as if looking at the ground for clues.

  “You know, a burger, fries, a drink, and a toy. I used to bug my parents for one every time we drove past those scarlet arches.”

  “Oh, I see. In my universe’s history there existed a fast food restaurant named McRonald’s, and its logo was lime green arches. The popular franchise chain was famous for their minty shamrock shakes.”

  “Huh, my McSanders only had shamrock shakes around St. Patrick’s Day.”

  “I have no such religious event in my records- but it is possible that information is simply missing. Is this a holiday in your culture?” Alt flew up close to his face and seemed genuinely interested in the information.

  Jack waved him away as if the ship was a fly and shook his head.

  “Let’s do this another time. We’re close to this group. We should be planning strategy instead of comparing alternate reality fast-food restaurants.”

  The small ship spun around and faced their next group of foes. There were two of the disgusting, black insect creatures again, and both were down on their knees, sucking blood out of the ground with their needle arms.

  Jack pointed at the group. “Can you just go in there shooting? Can they hit you? Do you have Hit Points?”

  “I do have Hit Points. Here, let me…”

  The ship’s voice trailed off, and a moment later a new display flashed into existence within Jack’s vision.

  Alt HP 10/10

  The moment he looked away, the information vanished much like his own Hit Point display.

  “Interesting, you can modify my user interface…” Jack shook his head, trying to focus on the fight. “Ten HP is okay, I guess.”

  “Yes, for now. Also, if I lose them all, this summoned entity will dissipate, but no harm will come to me. I can only be summoned once per day though, so if you lose me quickly, that’s it- I’m out for the day.”

  “Damage?” Jack asked, raising one eyebrow.

  “Your Main Hand damage value, divided in half, rounded down. Currently, that’s 4. I can fire an electron pulse every 5 seconds.”

  Jack rubbed his chin. “Hmm, okay. How about I laser one, and you electron pulse the other one.”

  “My range should be sufficient to fire twice before the monster reaches us. Sounds like a solid abuse of the distance.”

  Jack nodded and drew his blade. “Good, this way I only need to spend one Mana to kill two of these.”

  The tiny spaceship rotated in place, facing Jack again.

  “Incorrect. Anything I eliminate counts as a party kill. In this situation, your current Rest Bonus will trigger twice and refund you 2 mana back.”

  “Damn,” Jack said, surprised that his plan was much better than he thought. “Let’s abuse the hell out of these bloodsuckers. You fire first, the one on the right. Then I blast the one on the left directly after.”

  “Understood. Ready?”

  “Ready,” Jack confirmed, pointing his sword outward.

  Two bright yellow pellets of pure energy launched out from the miniature ARV Alternis like a pair of tiny suns, and there was a minor concussive *bloop* sound as the ship fired its weapons.

  The orbs of sparking light collided with one of the creatures, causing them both to pull their piercing needles and sprint forward.

  Chitinous Blood Man -4 | HP 2/6

  As planned, Jack willed his Mining Laser to activate, and a powerful beam of energy burst from his sword, obliterating his target.

  The remaining needle-armed bug man sprinted across the fur-covered ground. Red blood spurted out of the thing’s sharp appendages as it ran. It was closing the distance fast, and Jack readied his shield to intercept the monster if necessary. Until he was seriously wounded, keeping his new minion alive was the main priority. The Chitinous Blood Man was about ten steps away, and Jack could
see the mandibles working on its horrid bug face. He resisted the urge to burn it with his death laser and stuck to the plan.

  True to his calculations, the sleek ship launched another two spheres of power into the charging creature, sending it into oblivion.

  Two Mana spent, two foes dead, and two Mana returned.

  “We’re unstoppable, Alt!” Jack cheered, looking for loot drops.

  “Remember, we are only on Floor 2 of only one Tower. Things will get much harder as we climb higher. There is a long road ahead of us.”

  Jack and his spaceship continued to clear out the rest of the fur-covered Floor. They fought four more clumps of monsters and found a few more coins and items. There were no upgrades for Jack or blades for Alt, so he stashed the equipment into his Inventory.

  “37 total value so far,” Jack said. “Not a bad pile of stuff. And we haven’t even tackled the Floor 2 Boss yet.”

  The spaceship turned to face him. “I’m sure you noticed your carry limit has been… augmented.”

  “Yeah, I saw that. Heh, it’s going to take me forever to add up all the values once we get higher up. I can’t wait.”

  “Would you find something like this useful?”

  Jack was about to ask what he was talking about when more values flashed in his peripheral vision.

  HP 23/25

  MP 30/32

  ALT HP 10/10

  Coins 22

  Inventory Value 37

  “Oh yes,” Jack said, smiling. “This will work nicely.”

  He dismissed the information and searched around but didn’t see any more clumps of bug men. Jack wondered where the Floor Boss was. The only thing different from the orange-fur ground and gray sky was the … massive floating shadow in the distance.

  “Hey, Alt,” Jack began and pointed his finger outward, “is that what I think it is?”

  The spaceship rotated and faced the circular shadow ahead of them. Again, a reliable perspective was something Jack missed from his old life, but the object he had thought was the moon now appeared to be a house-sized, imperfect sphere.

  “I can detect the Exit Orb under its shadow,” Alt said. “That is indeed the Floor Boss.”

  “What the hell is it?” Jack said, taking a few tentative steps forward.

  “I believe it is a giant cat head.”

  - 19 -

  “How do we fight a floating cat head?” Jack asked. The monstrosity appeared to be hovering at least fifty feet off the ground.

  “With ranged attacks, obviously,” the miniature spaceship answered from his right as it tracked Jack’s movements.

  “Obviously,” Jack repeated with a hint of sarcasm.

  “Keep your eye on the exit Orb if it gets to be too difficult,” Alt said, and Jack’s mood flipped from slightly worried to grim determination. His mind was set on defeating not only this Boss but the Floor 3 Boss as well.

  “Okay,” Jack began. “Let’s split up. If you start shooting it, and then I hit it with my Mining Laser after, will it change targets and come for me instead because I am doing more damage?”

  “Possibly,” spaceship Alt answered. “We can’t be sure of anything regarding an unencountered foe.”

  Jack nodded. “Well, since this is only the Floor 2 Boss, I think I can melt it down pretty quickly. We’ll keep the same plan. You go wide to the right, I’ll go left. We flank it, and when you see me wave my sword, you start shooting. If I can’t pull the thing off of you, and it does whatever horrible thing it does… I’ll just make a break for the Exit Orb.”

  “It’s your call.” Alt said.

  Jack turned from the sphere in the sky to face the spaceship at his side.

  “That’s good to know, but I’d still like your opinion.”

  “Given that we don’t know the attack pattern, it’s as good a plan as any.”

  Jack sighed. “Right, let’s split now. See you after it’s dead.”

  Alt remained silent and immediately broke his formation to angle right, around the Floor Boss. The thing was farther away than Jack thought, and as he drew closer to the massive object in the sky, more details began to come into focus. It was facing downward, and the ears were pointing away from them. The part where its neck should be was perfectly round and covered with smooth orange hair. Jack started to make out the stubby muzzle, and whiskers, then he saw one enormous glassy, yellow eye. It was wide open and unmoving, staring straight down into the equally furry ground. The bizarre floating head was unlike anything Jack had ever seen, and the thought of this colossal thing turning its gaze on him was highly undesirable.

  Eventually, Jack and Alt were in position and with a few breaths to psyche himself up, he gave the attack-signal to his minion.

  Two bright orbs launched from the tiny speck of a ship across the massive cat head shadow, and Jack watched as they zipped upward at a straight forty-five-degree angle into the giant cat head. The two electron pulses flashed against the side of the disturbing creature’s face, and its muzzle opened to let out a howling screech that echoed across the flat landscape.

  Floor 2 Boss -4 | 44/48

  Jack fought the urge to put his hands over his ears and cower. The terrible noise was deafening. Then he noticed a new status icon flash into existence in his peripheral vision.

  Fear - [ Hit Chance reduced by 50% | 10% chance to Run / 10 seconds | 00:00:58]

  ~ This is too much to bear

  Jack shook off the attack and focused on his role. The massive thing had spun and was hovering slowly toward Alt. As soon as his spaceship fired another pair of tiny suns, Jack leveled his sword on the giant cat head and activated his Mining Laser ability.

  Floor 2 Boss -4 | 40/48

  Floor 2 Boss -9 | 31/48

  As Jack had predicted, the monstrosity rotated in midair and turned its bizarre gaze on him. Who knew what this thing would do if they couldn’t kill it before it closed the distance, but Jack’s ability did its damage quickly. He watched the enormous monster’s Hit Points drain with every passing second.

  Floor 2 Boss -9 | 22/48, 13/48, 4/48

  The insane yellow cat eyes began to glow, and the Boss appeared to be charging some type of energy attack of its own.

  Floor 2 Boss -9 | Defeated

  It took a net of 9 Mana to destroy the Floor Boss, and the enormous cat head burst into a dazzling display of fireworks in an otherwise drab universe.

  Jack thrust his horribly overpowered sword up into the air and sprinted to meet Alt under the shower of glittering sparks.

  “I was worried at first, but that was a walk in the park,” Jack said.

  “A Floor 2 park, yes,” Alt agreed.

  On the ground was a five-foot warhammer that Jack quickly dumped into his inventory. If a dropped item was obviously useless, he was just going to loot it and move on. Then he jogged over the orange furry ground to the golden Boss Chest and held out his hand.

  Floor 2 Rewards - Boss Chest

  Worn Leather Boots - [Feet | Value: 6]

  | Def: 4 |

  Bent Carving Knife - [Dagger | Value: 7]

  | Dmg: 4 |

  Itchy Woolen Pants - [Legs | Value: 8]

  | Def: 1 |

  | Magic Power +3 |

  Jack smiled. “Alright, two upgrades, and I can finally ditch these fished-up shoes.” He moved his new boots to his Feet Equipment slot and gained another 3 Def.

  “And one for you,” Jack said, sliding the knife over to his sword. He covered his eyes, but the flash didn’t happen this time.

  “I was able to scale the opacity of the system-generated visual effect to 0%.”

  “Oh, that’s really nice. Thanks, Alt. Did you get anything from that knife?”

  “No. I do not think Floor 2 items will be increasing the weapon’s stats outright, but my value is now 7/350.”

  Jack nodded as he pulled the itchy pants into his Inventory. “Makes sense.” His eyes drifted over to the wooden door with a burnt number 3 branded into its surface. Before he did anything thou
gh, he checked his own stats.

  HP 23/25

  MP 21/32

  ALT HP 10/10

  Coins: 28

  Inventory Value: 51

  Even if he risked it and came back with nothing of value for the Town, Alt’s upgrades would totally be worth the trip. Jack’s mind had long since been made up, and with a grin, he reached out and pulled open the door to Floor 3.

  His vision was nothing but whitewash for a moment, and then Jack found himself standing on a thin stretch of sand surrounded by a clear blue, shallow ocean. Dancing on the waves where bright sparks of reflected light and his eyes were pulled up to see two yellow balls in the sky instead of one. The heat baking down on him was slightly over the line into sweltering and, Jack used his hand to block the suns until his pupils adjusted. An array of vibrantly blue and pink seashells lay scattered along the edges of this narrow strip of dry land, and Jack was happy to be on one of the ridiculously beautiful Floors.

  Alt was there with him, hovering near his right shoulder, and Jack watched the tiny ship slowly spin in place as if it were also taking in the surroundings.

  One leafy palm tree bent away from Jack and hung out over the ocean to his left. The relatively narrow path of sparkling sand led away from them, and he realized that they were standing on an island in the shape of a straight line. Ahead, Jack could make out a tiny figure standing on the only path, and if he squinted, it appeared to be a white-winged angel. Jack checked behind them, and he saw the obligatory Exit Orb plinth poking out of the sand just before it transitioned into the shallow ocean.

  “Let’s clear the Floor, my minion,” Jack said as he pushed his new boots forward up the sandbar. They felt slightly more comfortable than the ones he had received from Garl.

  “Yes, my master,” Alt responded in a dry tone.

  “Okay, we aren’t doing that,” Jack said, shooting the tiny ship a sidewise glance.

  “I know… I was being glib,” Alt said with amusement in his electronic voice. “But I am excited to see where your brinksmanship will take us.”

  “Straight to the top, my boy!” Jack said, pointing up into the cloudless blue sky stretching out infinitely above them.

  Jack felt noticeably better that there was someone else in the Tower to talk with. It had only been a few days and… and his mind went straight to Lex. She had been spending her days fighting alone for an unknown stretch of time. Years? Had she spent years fighting this random madness alone? He felt a darkening anger rise within and quickened his strides toward their first enemy. If Jack was able to leave the Tower today as a Level 4 Hero, he was going to ask her to join his party for tomorrow’s climb.

 

‹ Prev