“Get your boys together for this afternoon and we can get ‘em all in place later. Timing is everything tonight.” Cain is pacing the room, wearing a hole into the carpet. I don’t think I’ve ever seen him this worked up about anything before.
He hasn’t touched a drink all day, which is quite unlike him. I’m not sure what to make of it. Is he not confident in the plan? If not, we really don’t need to do this. Rick isn’t here. He’s not in charge anymore. Well, he’s definitely not in charge of me. I can’t speak for Cain here who looks like he’s about to shed his skin and start crawling any second now. It’s actually pretty funny seeing him sweat and I find myself smiling just a little.
“Something funny?” Cain hisses, turning his attention to me.
“Nah, bro. Nothing’s funny. Need a drink? You look a little hot under the collar there.”
He shakes his head and turns away from me, continuing his pacing.
“How many do we need?” Joshua asks, taking out his cellphone.
Joshua is the quietest Da’Costa child, but easily the most violent. He’s younger than Cain by just a year, but he’s never cared to get too close to him. That, he left to Gabe who does everything to gain Cain’s approval.
In my eyes, Joshua is more of a wild card. He can fit in just about anywhere without being noticed and get the job done before anyone even realizes what’s happening.
In another life, he’d be my favorite sibling.
He was raised to fight combat style and knows his way around all the guns that the D’C clan sources, but despite all that, he, like myself, wanted out at one point.
As a strategist he was cunning and as a fighter he was fearless, but after one too many run-ins with Rick, he decided that a backseat in the car to hell will get you there just as quickly as the front seat, so he just let it all go.
Somewhere along the line, he stopped caring about impressing Rick or ascending the ranks. He became content to do as he was told and apply his genius to the logistics and distribution of products. Lord knows, Cain would do a piss poor job with that. He’s more of a disorganized crime kind of guy. He couldn’t strategize if his balls depended on it, but he is far too cocky to admit that. He and Gabriel rely heavily on their fists while Josh and I actually have brains to fall back on.
I seriously hope Abby lands on our side of the coin.
“We’ll split the team in three,” Cain responds. “But only the guys you think you can trust. Abe is an old-timer but he is right about one thing. If we have a rat, we’ll be the last to know.”
Gabriel nods, taking another shot.
“The three locations are evenly spaced, so there shouldn’t be any room for coincidences.”
“It’s a good idea. Cain, stop pacing and sit the fuck down. You’re making me dizzy just looking at you.” Joshua shakes his head, sending out blast messages.
“I know it’s a good idea. Dad thought of it.”
Such a daddy’s boy.
I shake my head and he looks over at me. “Got something to say, boy?”
“Get off my ass, Cain. If I had something to say, I’d fucking say it. You should know that by now.” I roll my eyes, though on the inside I’m really rolling on the floor.
Cain is so pathetic. I hate to admit it, but it’s really not a bad idea. Cain doesn’t know it, but it’s actually my fucking idea. Rick’s suggestion involved way too much blood and enough people have died over this crap.
When I suggested this plan, Rick thought it over and surprised me by agreeing. I think it’s the first time he’d ever approved of anything I said. It made me nauseous, and for a second, forced me to rethink the person I am. I got up and left immediately. If Rick wanted to add more to the plan, I didn’t hear it, but I’m pretty sure this is it. Cain will accept just about anything if you slap a Rick label on top of it and to me, that makes him the saddest person I’ve ever met.
“Are we done here?” I ask.
Cain looks up at me. “Somewhere to be?”
I roll my eyes in frustration. We had this argument last night. I’m going to school today. I need a break. I’ve done everything that he’s asked, and I haven’t complained about it. It’s been a few days since the last time I went. As much as I know it won’t - in any way - shape the future I’m headed toward, it will at least give me a goddamn break from all of this mess.
“Cain, we agreed to let him go,” Gabe reminds him. Cain snorts, dismissing me with the flick of his wrist.
“Kace,” he calls to me just as I’m about to exit through the door. I turn around and stare at him, waiting for him to speak.
“I don’t need to remind you how important this is today, do I?” He’s staring me down, like he’d very much prefer to slap my head of my body now, rather than later.
“Something tells me you’re going to anyway,” I retort and I’m not wrong.
“We’re doing this for our family.” I roll my eyes and he starts crossing the room, heading towards me. “You said you’re one of us. You fuck this up and you’re out of here. Got it?”
How many different ways does he intend on saying the same thing?
“Be here tonight. No fuck-ups okay?”
“Jesus Cain, yes I get it.”
He nods and I head out of the living room to check in on mom and Abby before I head out to school. Abby is drawing her idea of what mermaids should look like and mom is pretending that she’s never seen anything more beautiful. The grin on Abby’s little face is priceless, innocent, so many things that don’t reflect the position she’s in because of the family she was born into. Just the sight of her there breaks my heart all over again. She deserves a real life, real freedom, safety, opportunity. And it sucks that our father didn’t even consider giving that to her. What sucks even more is that I no longer have an out. Not for me. Not for her. Not for us.
I knock on the door, drawing attention to myself and Abby totters over on her bare feet with her drawing in hand when she sees me.
“Look, Kace!”
She holds the picture up for me to see and I start oo-ing and aahh-ing much to her delight.
“You’re leaving?” Mom asks.
“Yeah,” I respond, picking Abby up off the floor and twirling her around before walking over to mom’s bed.
“Again, again!” Abby squeals and I oblige before setting her down.
“School?” Mom asks. I can hear the hope in her voice. At least this time I won’t be disappointing her with my answer.
I nod and her smile is the reason I put up with Ms. Jordan and her band of stooges.
“Promise me you won’t give up,” she says, hope glistening in her eyes.
I start to stand, but she pulls me back to her. “You didn’t promise.” She pokes a finger into my cheek and I squirm.
“I promise. I promise, alright?” I chuckle at her, feeling enough guilt to crush what’s left of my soul. It shouldn’t be this easy to lie to her.
Abby joins in and starts to sing, “I pwomise, I pwomise.”
I’m grateful for happy moments like these. Even if I have to lie in order to have them.
16
Janey
“Janey, what do you think?”
I sigh. “Logistically I don’t think that makes a lot of sense, if I’m to be completely honest about it.” I can hear the groans around the room, but I don’t care. “We aren’t trying to open a club, Chase, so why do we need 3 DJs when just one is sufficient? We already agreed on a fixed budget and 3 DJs aren’t accounted for in the budget.”
“The excitement.” He grins and I shake my head at his childish way of seeing things.
“We’re hosting a fundraiser. Starting off with a deficit defeats the purpose.”
The logical members of the Council nod in agreement, but we’re outnumbered, and I fear this fundraiser will be a financial crapfest just like the one before it.
“Alright, well, we’ll consider it and get back to the group,” Jermain offers, turning the page in his binder.
“Any new business?”
I’d thought about this all night and it feels like the right thing to do.
“Yes,” I offer, raising my hand to make sure I’m not overlooked.
“I’m not sure how many of you are aware, but we recently lost a member of our student population.”
There are murmurs going around the table, but from the looks of it, nobody here heard about what happened to Odane.
“What do you mean… lost?” Julia asks. “As in, transferred to another school?”
I shake my head. “No. He was killed.”
Everyone gasps and the questions start buzzing around at top speed. Chase pounds the gavel and, soon after, a steady hush falls over the room.
“Settle down guys,” he urges, turning his attention back towards me.
“Which student?”
“Odane Rowe,” I answer, barely able to keep the sadness out of my tone.
“Bubba?” One of the guys asks and I’m so relieved that there’s at least one of us who knew him before he died.My eyes flicker to the jock who asked the question. He looks visibly shaken.
“Yes, Bubba,” I whisper, feeling my throat tightening.
“Are you sure?” he asks, and I nod.
Nobody says anything for a while. It’s not every day you get told that your classmate is no longer with the living. Most of the students here aren’t at all familiar with death, especially not when it comes to the death of someone young, someone our age.
“I think we should do a tribute at the fundraiser,” I offer, breaking the short silence that had fallen upon us.
“Won’t that, you know...kill the mood?” At least Jared has the decency to stutter as he throws his bullshit lack of sympathy into the air.
Elizabeth rolls her eyes at his poor choice of words and I gape at him, so many unsanitary words sitting loosely on the tip of my tongue.
“Sorry,” he mumbles when he realizes his error.
“I agree with Janey,” Elizabeth comments, and I’m grateful for the solidarity.
We go around the room contributing ideas for the tribute and I’m relieved that I didn’t get too much push back on this.
My mind wanders to Kace. I don’t know if he’ll appreciate our efforts, but I hope he does. It’s very belated and it will never bring Bubba back, I know that, but I need him to know that his friend mattered to at least one person other than him. Comfort comes in many ways and if he won’t accept comfort from my physical presence then this is my next best option. It’s not nearly enough, I know that, but at least it’s something.
I close my eyes for a few seconds, sucking in a breath and allowing it to sting my lungs. My mind, as it tends to do a lot these days, lingers on Kace. I hope to see him today. I find myself hoping to see him every day. There’s just something about seeing him, confirming that he’s okay and still alive, that comforts me. I can’t explain it and to my logical brain it makes no sense, but a lot of the times, feelings make no sense. Not too long ago, I would have charted off what he and I have as me trying to beat my bully with kindness. Now, though, I know it’s more than that. I’m really and truly blessed to have the opportunities I have and it hurts my soul to know that there are people like him, people with promise who get roped into the gutter just because of where they’re from. That’s not to say I’m trying to save Kace out of pity. I’m just trying to make him understand that no matter how dark the tunnel, somewhere at the end of it, there is light. And damn it if I don’t know that’s true. My dead sister’s shadow haunts me wherever I go and if it weren’t for my father shining hope into my darkness, maybe I’d have given up on life ages ago.
The meeting ends with a consensus. We’ll have one DJ and we’ll have a tribute. That pretty much sounds like a win to me. I leave the meeting feeling at least a little at ease.
On my way to the bookroom, I run into Mrs. Jordan who seems relieved to see me. “Hi, Janey, just the person I was hoping to bump into,” she says, inching closer.
Honestly, I’m surprised to find her strolling around the campus in those ridiculously high heels.
“You look fabulous Mrs. Jordan,” I comment, taking in her look. She’s wearing an all beige pantsuit paired with red bottoms.
Mrs. Jordan blushes and thanks me for the compliment before her face shifts to a more serious expression. “I need to ask you a few questions, if you don’t mind.” I nod, expecting her to ask me about the figures and preparation for the upcoming event. “It’s about Kace,” she adds.
“Oh.” It’s all I can manage as a response. Wasn’t she the same person who didn’t see the importance of talking about him or anything to do with him just this week? Why the sudden change of heart?
“He stopped by my office to deliver some very startling news,” she says and it seems like with every word she says, the weight on her shoulder gets heavier.
“Were you aware of what happened?” She peers down at me over her glasses.
Was I aware?
Was...not are...that’s interesting.
Wait, is she really implying that my reason for offering to help Kace is because his friend died?
“I’m not sure what you mean,” I respond, because if that really is what she thinks, then she needs to come right out and say it.
“Kace let me know that we lost a student,” she starts, and I keep my face blank. I’m not helping her through this.
She nods unquestioningly at me, encouraging me to chime in. Clearing her throat, she continues when I don’t respond. “Well, I’d like to commend you for getting out in front of it with your tutoring suggestion. It’s just such a pity it did not come sooner, but it’s a great initiative, anyhow.” She smiles and I’m tempted to let her know that the real pity is the fact that she can only seem to see helping all her students equally as a publicity opportunity. The real pity is that she still doesn’t seem to know what exactly her duties are and it’s sad because she’s otherwise a good person, just really bad at her job.
My obsession with helping Kace has opened my eyes to so many things that I was blind to before. I can’t help but wonder how many incidences have slipped right by me over the years.
How many broken hearts and wounded souls have I written off as being delinquent?
How many students have slipped through the cracks because of misperceptions?
It’s shameful, really.
I want to thank Kace for opening my eyes. He’s already done more for me as a person than he can ever imagine. I just wish he would let me return the favor.
“No,” I finally respond, and Mrs. Jordan seems genuinely surprised. “No. I was not aware of Odane’s death when I made the suggestion, but I was aware of Kace’s circumstances. I, unfortunately, did not know Bubba before he passed and that’s on me. I was too self-absorbed to pay attention to anyone outside of my immediate circle, but just like Kace, he must have been hurting. I understand if you don’t see things the way that I do, that’s none of my business as you’re entitled to your thoughts and feelings. I just don’t intend on making the same mistakes for the rest of my life. If there’s something I can do to help, then I’m more than willing to help and I’m not afraid of the word ‘No’. People who need help the most tend to be overly familiar with that silly word. I’ll find respectful ways to help them anyway because that’s what I think is right.”
This is the second time this week that I’ve lectured Mrs. Jordan.
What the hell has gotten into me?
“Respectfully speaking,” I tack on at the end with the hopes that it will smooth over any bruises I may have caused.
“Well then,” she responds, clearing her throat. “You’ve given a lot of thought to this. As always, I appreciate your candor.”
I blush and start chewing at my cheek to prevent myself from saying anything more.
“Is there anything you can tell me about Kace that you think I need to know?”
“Yes.” I manage to smile despite the pulsing in my upper lip. “I could tell you a
lot, but I don’t think it’s my place.”
“Oh?” she seems a little disappointed by my response.
“I’d encourage you to try and talk to him yourself. He’s not the person you seem to think he is. That much I do know.”
“Very well. Do you have a free period now?” she asks, trying to regain her stance as my superior.
“Yes. I’m free all morning. We’ve been making plans for the fundraiser. We’re doing a tribute for Bubba. You should come, it’ll be great.” She nods, digesting everything and I smile at her before walking away.
I don’t think I could ever pluck up the nerve to be the principal of an institution. It seems like a lot of work and I know I want to give her a hard time, but the truth is, I’m sure I don’t know the half of what she does.
I can feel myself trying to talk my way out of the judgmental zone I tend to frequent. A few steps away from where we stood is a staircase and I’m more than just a little bit surprised to see Kace standing there as I walk by. He looks perplexed and for a moment I consider going over to him, but I decide against it. I opt for a simple smile before I look away from him and continue walking down the hall.
“Hey Janey.” It’s not Kace’s voice that calls after me. When I look up, I see Lucas leaning against the lockers across the hall. Once again, he’s dressed in all black and I’m starting to wonder if it’s some sort of a uniform for him.
“Hi.” I wave back without stopping and he starts walking toward me. His long, lean legs have him by my side in seconds and his scent is captivating, dominating every other surrounding odor, snuffing them out instantly.
“Mind if I carry that for you?” he offers, pointing at the canvas in my hand.
“That’s fine, thank you though,” I mumble, clutching the painting closer to my chest.
He grins down at me. “Why so secretive, Janey Bradshaw?”
“Just Janey is fine,” I mutter, glancing up into his dark eyes.
My name doesn’t sound the same coming from his lips. It doesn’t even sound like it belongs to me and I want to ask him to never say my name again, but there’s something dark about him. Something off beneath his seemingly warm smile and willingness to help. Something about him screams trouble and I know my gut is rarely wrong, so I’m committed to staying away from him.
Infinite Fury (High School Bully Romance) Page 12