Expertly, my legs find their way around his waist while I greedily suck and lick at his lips. As though I weigh nothing at all, Kace walks us over to the couch, pressing my back against the coolness of the leather. My hands are still around his neck and I pull him into me, feeling even higher as the firmness of his excitement presses against me.
There’s a hint of hesitation in his movements now and for a second, I’m scared that he’s about to rip all this pleasure away from me before I have the chance to learn what exactly is on the other side of ecstasy.
“I want you to take me,” I assure him, holding onto him like my life depends on it.
Steadying a breath in his lungs, he holds off for just a seconds before thinking better about shying away from his desires.
His fingers find my center again. The faster his fingers pump, the wetter I become. The less I care about the pain. The more I want him. Need him to enter me. Before I know it, my eyes are closed and my hips are raised. I’m screaming his name from the top of my lungs, begging him to take me, struggling to unbutton his jeans. Pulling them down with unsteady hands.
My eyes close when he fully complies, pressing his thick shaft against my opening. Slowly, as though asking for permission, he slides his full length along my wet, greedy core.
My nails are on his back, scratching in search of something to hold on to. He’s stroking slowly, shaking to control his rhythm. In and out, in and out, banishing the pain with pleasure as he fills me up over and over again. I can feel every inch of him inside me as my walks tighten and squeeze around him as if trying to milk the life out of his cock.
I find myself matching his rhythm, stroke for stroke as I ride him into complete and utter bliss.
“Oh fuck,” he groans, picking up speed as his balls slap against me.
He wraps his hands around my waist and holds me in place as he drills into me harder, finally unable to hold onto his composure. Faster and deeper, he moves until he explodes with a loud exhortation of my name. I follow closely behind him, my curled toes twitching and my heart pounding against my chest.
It takes at least ten minutes after my orgasm has shaken every atom of my being for me to come to my senses.
I’ve just fucked a boy in the middle of my mother’s sitting room.
This isn’t the carelessness I am known for.
But it’s exactly that carelessness that I am sure, will put the first and the last nail in my coffin.
27
Kace
It’s funny how things that were once routine can become strange to you. The shuttle running through Rittenhouse Square is a spaceship in comparison to the one that runs through Kensington, but I still feel strange being on a bus.
Janey had bitched and pouted for at least fifteen minutes about me wanting to take the bus to school instead of riding in with her.
“You’re being ridiculous” she had sulked.
“I’m not,” I’d assured her, and I could tell that she wasn’t sure how to feel so I gave her the abridged version because I know she’s safer being in the know. I told her more about my family than I even wanted to admit to myself. Maybe it was stupid, maybe I was overthinking things, but if my brother had an eye on me, I couldn’t risk putting her in danger.
In school, she needed to stay away from me, pretend that we meant next to nothing to each other.
Funny how times change and even funnier how someone like me who knows better than to get attached to someone is already so fucking attached to her. Every minute away from her is like a lifetime without air. I fucking hate the feeling, hate that this is happening. What I hate the most, however, is resisting it. And so, I promise myself that in private, when the rest of the world doesn’t have their eyes on her, I’ll do all the making up for missed moments that her body can withstand.
When I walk into the school yard, I’m reassured that I made the right decision.
“Well look who it is,” Lucas drawls.
I scowl at him and he laughs. “I didn’t expect to see you back here. I thought you would be dead in a ditch somewhere by now. Heard you got kicked out.”
“You’re pretty chatty this morning,” I growl, pushing past him, but one of his lackeys grabs onto my jacket and pulls me back.
“He’s not done talking to you.”
“Don’t force me to break your fucking arm,” I bark, getting right up into his face.
Lucas laughs and pulls his guy back. “Let him go. Now that he’s back, everything will be a lot more fun.” He smirks and that statement somehow makes me very uneasy.
“Run along, Kace. Enjoy it while you can. A little birdie told me that you’re next.” The smile on his face is unsettling, to say the least. I take a deep breath and try to clear my mind. I just need to get through the day as a somewhat interested student, not knock anyone out or get expelled and it’ll be a win for me.
28
Kace
They day carries on much like I expect it to. I attend each class with more enthusiasm than I did in the last year. I’m not saying that I’m a changed man. Inside, I’ve got all the same sins battling for supremacy. Still, the teachers are pleased with what they’re seeing, and I have all intentions of keeping it that way.
Janey wasn’t wrong in her suggestion that I buckle the fuck down and shoot for a scholarship. If Julie-Rose from last year’s senior class could manage to get a full ride to college, there sure as shit shouldn’t be a damn thing stopping me. Plus, it’s not like I have a family to go home to anymore, or some botched up legacy that I’m expected to fulfil. Once high school is over, I’m on my own. Sure, the internship I secured with Dr. Harding will make it possible to at least get a little place on my own, but it’s not the kind of thing that’ll pay my bills forever. I need to get my shit together and I have all intentions of doing just that. I won’t just be doing it for me, though. Once I’m in a better place, I’ll make sure that mom and Abby are well taken care of.
I pull my backpack closer. Janey and I have Biology together in a few minutes so that should take care of my mood, but until then, I have to deal with this troll sitting a few seats away from me in History.
I can hear his knife flicking open and closed from here and I shake my head.
I’m guessing this is what I look like in the eyes of everyone else. A bum with no future and a penchant for self-destruction. Self destruction and self preservation can look the same depending on who you ask, I suppose.
Very few know the difference.
I can’t seem to get what Lucas said earlier off my damn mind.
What the hell did he mean by ‘you’re next’?
Next for what?
Sure he could be bluffing. Lucas lives to get under my skin, but the word ‘next’ is very specific.
Is he talking about Bubba or Josh?
“Are you still with us?” Mr. Hamby asks, staring at me and I nod.
He’s talking about Sun Tzu’s Art of War in line with the second World War.
“All warfare is based on deception,” he says and something about that catches my undivided attention. “When we are near, we must make the enemy think we are far away and vice versa.”
His explanation of the Normandy invasion ties in with this bullshit I call a life. Deception. That’s exactly what this is.
‘Are you really willing to risk Janey’s safety on an old man reading from a book he’s read his whole life, but probably never abided by?’
Mr. Hamby relates more with the first syllable of his name than he relates to Sun Tzu, so maybe I should re-evaluate my confidence.
Should I find somewhere else to crash?
Perhaps.
This might be deception, but what if it isn’t?
I need to keep an eye on her.
She’s stubbornly wormed her way into this mess all in the name of getting me out of it, having no idea what “it” really is, and like a fool, I let her.
Things were always bad, and I always knew they would get worse so why didn’t I stic
k to the plan and keep to myself?
Focus Da’Costa, I growl at myself.
I’m pretty sure this is exactly what Lucas wants. To get me all riled up and sloppy. To actually have me on edge.
This feels a lot like deception and even if it isn’t, I’m not afraid of Lucas and his bullshit crew or his fucked up family. They can all go screw themselves with a jackhammer, for all I care.
The truth is, I’ve always been careful, and Janey is being surprisingly careful, so she should be safe. Besides, I’ll be keeping an eye on her and I’ll probably just let her in on what’s happening in full detail. Worse comes to worst, I’ll go crash somewhere else and take her out of harm’s way altogether.
There, I’ve made up my mind. I’m not about to be stressed out by Lucas or anyone else. Out-thinking him is easier than out-fighting him. He’s a dumb cunt but he has a gang to back him so I can’t be too careless.
“Next class we’ll look into the outcomes of the German invasion of Paris and Lithuania. Read through pages 1-20 of Chapter 5 and be prepared for anything. “ Hamby smirks before dismissing us with a wave of the wrist.
I jot down the assignment and find myself chuckling slightly. When was the last time I actually heard an assignment, let alone wrote it down?
Mr. Hamby seems to notice too because he smiles and nods at me as I walk past his desk.
I have to keep cool as I make my way to the next class, but I’m jonesing to see miss Bradshaw. When I spot her, she’s talking to her annoying friend who notices me and looks me over before looking away.
I hope Janey hasn’t said anything to her. I know she’s supposed to be her best friend or whatever but I’m only up for keeping an eye on Janey.
When I take my seat beside Janey, she doesn’t even glance at me. I can’t say I’m not impressed by her dedication to following my instructions.
“Alright. Settle down… settle down everyone.” Mr. Corrothers crones when he walks into the room.
I eye the stack of papers in his hand suspiciously as he takes his seat.
“Ms. Bradshaw,” he calls out and she looks up.
“Would you be a dear and pass these out for me, please.”
I wish she’d tell him to do his heart a favor and capitalize on the exercise, but of course, not Janey. She collects the papers and starts handing them out. When she gets to my desk, I look up at her, but she still doesn’t make any kind of eye contact with me.
When she takes her seat, I toss a pen cover at her and she ignores me.
“Hey. Nerd,” I tease. There’s nothing but venom registered in the sideways stare that she gives me with a scowl.
What the hell?
Is she really upset that I didn’t ride to school with her?
Even after everything I told her?
Is Janey being serious?
I’ve been worried about her safety all fucking morning and she’s giving me the ice cold treatment?
This should bother me less, but I’m pretty annoyed.
“All textbooks off the desk. We’ll be doing a little in class assessment,” Mr. Corrothers informs us and for the first time in a long time, I’m actually nervous about a stupid test.
When I open the paper and see the Hardy-Weinberg references I smirk and look over at Janey.
The equations are unnecessarily complicated, but I think I remembered the strategy Janey and I studied so I should be okay. After fifteen minutes, the ball of a man instructs us to put the pens down and exchange papers.
“What?” Someone blurts out and I shake my head.
He’s not even going to mark it himself? What are they even paying him for?
“Hey,” I call over to Janey. She glances over at me, offering me a shading of her attention for the first time since she’s sat down in this class.
I hold out the paper to her and she bites her bottom lip before taking it from me. Seriously woman, what is your problem?
She hands her paper to her friend and hands her friend’s paper to me. Well at least she kept my paper.
“What’s the answer to the first equation?” Hamby asks and picks up the register to start calling names.
This is perhaps the cringiest class I’ve had to endure, but Corrothers does me the favor of not picking on me to answer any questions.
“Okay, when I call the student’s name, if you have their paper, call out their grade and let’s get the rest of this session moving along.”
The grades are an average mix of C’s and B’s.
Like I said, he’s a lazy ass teacher.
“Janey Bradshaw.”
“98%” Erika calls out and I nod. I’m pretty sure I know which question she got wrong and I’m almost certain I got the same one wrong.
“Alright, is that everybody?” Corrothers asks and I stare up at him, wanting to throw my chair at his face.
“No,” Janey responds.
“Who am I missing?” he asks.
Janey points over at me without looking. Okay, so she and I are definitely going to have a conversation after this.
“Kace?” he asks, and she nods.
Mr. Corrothers actually chuckles and I see Janey’s jaw tense. Okay so she’s not completely gone.
“Did he actually answer any of the questions Ms. Bradshaw?” She nods. “Alright. Let’s have it,” he says.
“96%,” she says with a smirk on her face and he chokes on his pride before double-checking to make sure he heard her correctly.
“Are you sure you have the right paper?” he ask, and I roll my eyes.
“Yes. I’m sure,” she says calmly.
Corrothers nods his head in my direction. “Good for you, Kace.”
The rest of the class goes by slowly as he goes deeper into gene mapping. I’m fully wound up by the time class is done.
“Mr. Da’Costa, can I have a word?” Mr. Corrothers calls out.
I cringe. “Can it wait?” I mean, I’m tryna fucking catch Janey before she disappears on me. Not waiting for Corrothers to answer, I step into the hallway. I manage to catch Janey by the elbow.
“What the hell are you doing?” she asks, pulling her arm away and scanning the corridor. “Didn’t you say we should act as if nothing changed?” Her voice is sharp, the tone of it making me stop for a short second. I stare at her through narrow eyes.
“Go to the roof. I’ll come up after I’m done with Mr. Corrothers. We need to talk.”
“I don’t want to g-”
“Woman. Go to the damn roof. I’ll be up in a second.” I cock my head to the side and she looks away.
“Fine,” she huffs stomping off.
The conversation with Mr. Corrothers goes the way one would expect a conversation like this to go. At first he stutters, finding it hard to pull up the words he’d pondered over for the past five minutes. Then I’m accused of cheating and when that fails to hit the right spot, the pride shines through. He’s happy I’m starting to take life seriously again, wants to know what changed and whether or not it’s a change he can expect me to follow through to the end. I don’t make any promises. My hopes are restored, my dreams feel somewhat possible, but I know just as well as I know my own name that the rug can be pulled from under me in a quick second. I don’t go into all of that, though. My life, my business.
When Mr. Corrothers nods his head, gesturing that the conversation is done, I hightail it out of there and head to Janey, happy to find her on the roof where I asked her to meet me. There’s something going on with her, a sourness in her eyes that I’m sure I didn’t put there. She’s sitting on her jacket with a book in her hand and barely shifts her eyes to me as I draw near.
“What’s going on?”
She sets the book down and huffs a shallow breath. “Nothing. Nothing at all.”
“So your face is always like that then? You just naturally look like you’ve been sucking on a lemon?”
“Don’t talk to me like that,” she hisses, standing up.
I start inching nearer to her and she steps
back. “Yeah, there’s nothing wrong here,” I scoff and stop walking. She wants her space, so I’ll give it to her.
“Are you still upset that I didn’t ride with you? Janey I thought I explained that to you. I thought you understood. I’m just looking out for you.”
“Thanks friend,” she mutters.
“Stop this and use your fucking words, Janey. You’re being immature.”
She gapes at me and drops her book into her bag before picking up her jacket and tying it around her waist.
“Where are you going?”
“I’m going downstairs, friend. Do you have a problem with that?”
“Jesus Janey, help me out here. What am I missing? What the hell did I do?”
Her bottom lip starts trembling and I know that means one of two things. She’s either going to start crying or shouting and right now I’m not sure I care for either.
“What do you want from me, Kace?”
What the fuck is happening this morning? First Lucas and now this?
“What do you mean?” I ask folding my arms.
“What do you want? Why am I up here with you?”
“I told you this morning that we have to be careful. I explained this to you.”
“You told me that you don’t want anything to happen to me.”
I nod and narrow my eyes. “Yes.”
“Why?”
What the actual fuck?
“Janey?”
“Why don’t you want anything to happen to me? Why do you care?”
I take a step back from her. Has she developed a death wish overnight?
“Why would I want anything to happen to you?” I ask, my voice laced with confusion.
“What am I to you Kace?” she asks, and I’m baffled by her question.
I shake my head, as lost as a leaf at sea. “What are you to me?”
It’s then that I remember our talk this morning and I start laughing. There’s a rush of relief flooding through me as I hoot with laughter. Janey’s still standing across from me, turning the kind of pink that is nothing short of adorable.
Infinite Fury (High School Bully Romance) Page 21